Darkness.

Infinite darkness.

Once again, I was back at this spine-shivering place; floating aimlessly, staring back at the abyss. Yet instead of being scared for not seeing anything, the absence of light ironically calmed my nerves. The comfort it enveloped me was like that of a warm embrace by a loving mother and a gentle pat of encouragement by a supportive father—a complete sense of security.

How long was I here?

An hour? Two or three?

A day, perhaps?

Ah, none of that mattered, anyway.

I'd rather be here. Just here.

"For how long were you planning to hole up here?"

My solitude shattered with those few words.

I smiled weakly at the mysterious voices again. The same ones tirelessly urging me to wake up my slumbering state outside this dark place. The culprit why I had to live another day yet again. But this time . . . This time . . .

"I c-can't help them," I rasped out the words, grimacing at my parched throat. "How can someone like me help them?"

"But—"

I swiftly cut the voices off, growing irked at the recollection of their surreal words earlier—the very reason why I was brought in such a place. In a place supposedly only existing beyond one's wild imagination. But it wasn't.

Had I didn't really saw it with my two eyes . . . Had those shimmering veils didn't materialize out of nowhere before me, I might shrug it off, labeling them as crazy as me—even fervently deny my situation.

I fell from the sky. I crossed a dimension through that shimmering veil.

"Why can't you just let me be?" I squeaked out, eyes stinging with utter frustration. "How could I help them if I need saving back there as well? How could a measly me help them uplift their despondent state if I, too, has hit beyond rock bottom? C-can't you see the problem here? A suicidal can't lift someone's morale if he can't do it to himself!"

"We chose you for a reason."

There it is again, I thought bitterly.

The warping . . .

The crossing over an entirely different realm . . .

I'd begrudgingly accepted that after mauling over it for so long.

But to help them?

How could I if can't help myself? I had enough baggage to carry—more than enough that I wasn't able to carry it on my shoulders anymore and throw the towel.

That was why if I wasn't dead yet, I would just rather sleep for eternity than woke up again and faced reality.

Yes, I wholeheartedly admitted my cowardly ass. But before I did throw the towel, I'd tried everything . . . yet those people were too adept fucking up my sliver of hope over and over again, living me in the dirt once I no longer had a purpose. I tried like anyone else . . . Thousand times. But everything had a limit, and after a long winding journey, I finally reached the end of my rope.

Giving up wasn't easy . . . until they smothered my last glimmer of hope and will to live.

Until I was left with only death as a choice.

I bitterly chuckled at that. "You chose a suicidal maniac without any future ahead just so you can turn me into a marionette playing your schemes, and discard me right away when I already served my purpose?" I choked on my spit. Anger swelling at my chest as I spat, "Just like them. All of you'd be just like them!"

"Please help them," the voices begged for the umpteenth time, completely ignoring all I'd said.

I tutted. "Why can't you understand me? Why can't you just find someone else?" I yelled, tugging my hair in utmost frustration. "Can't you just freakin' leave me alone, for goodness sake? For the last time, I can't help them! I can't and I won't, so back off already!"

Why couldn't they get it? Why did it seem like I had to always exert every bit of me for everyone's stead? How about me? Didn't I deserve it? I was so sick of it!

For a moment, the voices went silent with their usual pleas. I thought they'd finally left me alone. I thought they'd finally saw it clearly—understood me—after all those yelling.

Boy, I was so wrong.

"Forgive us. You left us with no choice."

I shivered at their ominous statement.

Before I could open my quivering lips, a foreign sensation seemed to chip in into my system, crashing down at me in a harsh fall, eliciting a sharp gasp and fit of cough from me. I clutched my chest, feeling the wild palpitation of my heart against the palm of my hand. Startled at the sudden invasion, all I could do was open my mouth, achingly gasping for air, as I tried to figure out what on earth was happening to me. But even such a task was arduous as a painful wave of nausea hit me in crippling series of punches, knocking me down, rendering me breathless. My mouth closed and opened, mimicking a fish, grasping for even the slightest air I could put on my constricting lungs . . . yet it was futile. It was as though it deliberately cutting off my oxygen. Sheer panic assaulted my system as the foreign sensation swirled around inside my body, sizing me up, getting used to it, and getting scorchingly hot as it continued its pace around my mid-body.

"S-stop . . . ah!" A blood-curdling scream tore my lips at the piercing pain in my chest, relentlessly stabbing me back and forth as if a real dagger really did it. "Please, stop!" I cried out, tears breaking out my eyes. "Stop it, please!"

But none of my pleas were heard. I fought to keep the unknown force from merging with me. I tried but to no avail.

The heavyweight in my chest gradually subsided. Along it was the settling down of the force. Then there was no more. It was as though my whimpers were a mere product of a nightmare—nonexistent.

Warm. A startling warmth spread through my body, yet it didn't reach the ice-cold depths of my withering heart.

For the last time, before I succumbed to the lulling sensation the foreboding force had brought me, the voices spoke again. No emotion. No hint of little remorse. None of those pleading tones.

"The will is done. Welcome to the realm of fate-determined individuals, Vessel of the Fourth Croux."

A heavy weight settled on my chest.

"Your sacrifice won't be in vain."

• • • •

My back arched as if my soul just fell from some celestial plains back down to my body. My lashes fluttered, seeing a high wooden ceiling first before it frantically roved around and instantly spotted the side view of a short man clad in teal robe with wide sleeves flaring down the hands. On his head was some sort of round lighter shade of teal cap. His entire attention was on the table filled with herbs and bottles. He wrung out a towel in his hands, drying it onto the steel basin.

Only then did I realize the warm one on my forehead along with the soft sheets laid straight on the floor where I was tucked in, right hand over my stomach.

Is he some sort of doctor?

My racing heart gradually calmed down as I discreetly followed his movement.

He settled down on the furnished, wooden seat beside the table and rested his head back against the wall, eyes closed. He exasperatedly puffed out the air out of his flushed, round cheeks and wiped the beads of sweat trailing down the side of his face. Dark circles hung under his eyes. His face contorted into a mild frown just as I caught his shallow breathing.

When was the last time he slept?

I was about to open my mouth to get noticed, but a series of footsteps somewhere had my eyes shut automatically for no particular reason. The man shuffled to his seat—stumbling to the floor and toppling the chair with a loud thud. The footsteps stopped nearby, followed by the straight-laced voice of a man.

"Doctor Wei, Lord Rayo is here."

Frantic footsteps ensued towards me.

Slightly shaky, cold fingers touched my wrist, right at the pulse, which was immediately followed by a long sigh of relief. Whatever made him act this anxious and jumpy certainly had something to do with the newly arrived people outside. My hunch only strengthened when he sniffled, blowing his nose too hard into something—

Spittles landed on my cheeks.

I internally cringed, fighting not to recoil and wipe those off immediately.

"The next moonrise won't be until next week, Doctor Wei. Would you like me to ship you off to the Capital for dawdling? Ah, perhaps you've missed the stables? The stallions indeed need some good scrubbing. Or maybe you prefer plowing the fields this time? That'd be a nice change of pace, don't you agree?"

My eyes instantly fluttered at the sound of that other voice. For all intents and purposes, its unenthusiastic and authoritative tone wasn't the reason, but because of the overwhelming pang gripping my chest, it sent me. I sucked in the air around me, clutching my throbbing chest with both hands, and started writhing against the soft sheets.

The man beside me let out a high-pitched squeak, even falling back to his rear with a thud as if thoroughly startled by my sudden awakening. But I didn't have the time to dwell on it as loud slamming and frantic footsteps fell into the room in the next seconds. Peeking under my messy long hair, two sets of feet occupied the room I was in. I tried lifting my head from the futon only to bring it back down again as another searing pain prickled my chest over and over again.

It burns!

Too hot!

I need air!

"Get everyone out of the residence!"

"But, my lord—"

"Heed my words if siring a future progeny appeal you still, Shun."

"Y-yes. Right away, my lord."

Cries. Loud cries filtered my ears as I tossed and thrashed on the sheets, clawing and pounding my burning chest, gasping for the elusive air yet again. It ran similarly to the ordeal I went through before coming down to my senses earlier with those mysterious voices. But this time, it wasn't due to the ominous sensation forcing its way to integrate with my body. This time, the more the sole person left in the room inched closer to me, the more unbearable the pain became.

A sigh. "You need to calm down, woman, or else you'll caused too much trouble to me."

Once again, I peeked through my locks, screaming so hard my throat sore when the man had already managed to cross the gap between us, down in one knee as his hand reached out for me. The proximity was downright suffocating, it was as though invisible hands were choking me in vice grip just by being close to him.

"S-stay away!" I slapped his hand away. A mistake . . . or not. I wasn't quite certain amidst all I was under.

The instant my hand touched his, a burst of crackling flames shot out around us. Scarlet, red, white, and blue—few of the dominant shades licking every corner of the room.

Strings of colorful profanities slipped past his lips as he tried to grab me again by which I instantly evaded by pushing myself away. It wasn't enough though. His long arms bridged those measly spaces and successfully grabbed hold of my right forearm. With a callous tug, I fell right into his arms, my face smacking right into his chest.

Harsh hand seized my cheeks, making my head lift. "For Feirun's sake, calm down, woman!"

A fraction of a second was all it took though to render me speechless as I had managed to gaze properly at the man's face. To his peculiar eye color, specifically. It was red.

They're . . . hauntingly beautiful.

I instantly caught myself, flinching and recoiling at the sight of his glowing red irises, strongly resembling the shade of the fire surrounding us, now dwindling to naught as it swirled, seemingly being drawn away. My wild eyes made a mistake of glancing to my left where his right hand, palms open, was extended midair . . . where all those swirled hissing into his palm, sucking all the fire around us. All pain was forgotten as I gaped at the jaw-dropping sight, almost questioning my sanity eventually. God, if only this is a dream. I laid there, dead rooted in my spot until he abruptly closed his hand, extinguishing the flames once and for all.

"Dumbstruck?" he said, sounding impatient, as he seized back my other hand.

My wide eyes darted to the man holding my cheeks, more than aware of how his mere touch chased away the unbearable pain seconds ago. His eyes no longer had its odd burning glow and yet they were squinted disconcertingly along with his heavily furrowing thick brows. His scowl got even more pronounced when I moved to take his hands off my face.

"Let m-me go, please."

His right brow twitched. "Once I let you go, my fire will go wild again, woman. And by that time, it won't be just this room alone you'll ruin. So I implore you to take calming breaths lest I'd left with no choice, but to knock you down again."

Only then did I take a good look around us. I took a sharp intake of breath at the blackening walls, charred curtains, and tatami matted floor. My free hand flew to clamp my hanging mouth. "I did this? But I didn't have—"

"You're an idiot, aren't you?" he snapped, tutting. "I just told you it was mine, not yours. Your presence simply hampered its control. Do you know why?"

If it's his fault, then he should be blaming himself not me!

I grimly shook my head, inching a bit away from touching his knees. He apparently noticed that yet again and shot me a pointed look. I froze in a jiffy.

He kind of scares me.

"I don't know, so could you please cut the chase so you can let me go already?"

"Are you smart-talking me now, woman?"

Huh?

"Jesus Christ . . . I'm not!"

His glare was too sharp I almost bit my tongue. "My name is Rayo, the lord of this place, not that."

Did he just say, lord?

"It's an expression," I gritted.

"I don't like your expression."

"No one told you to like it!" My voice went a tad higher.

"You're smart-talking me again?"

"Holy guacamole . . . does everything sound like an insult to you?"

His teeth gritted. "So you're indeed insulting me?"

I gawked at him, downright astonished at how he could easily see things deprecating him. Is he dumb? "Jesus Christ, I'm not, for Pete's sake!"

"My. Name. Is. Rayo."

I ran a hand to my face, trying my best to ignore his clear annoyance while stressing those words. This one is no good. "Mother Theresa, help me, please."

"Your mother won't help you clean the mess you made."

All possible remarks died down at the back of my mind when he adeptly hooked his arms under my knees and around me, lifting me off the ground and out of the burnt room. I let him be, too exhausted to argue anymore. Just admit it that you can remotely feel your legs. I just wanted to rest and clear my mind before facing whatever storm those mysterious voices enforced unto me.

Collective gasps resonated the instant we emerged out of the door, followed by incoherent murmurs which swiftly hushed down when the man carrying me tutted audibly. I, on the other hand, harshly closed my eyes, blinded by the glaring sunlight striking my face. Scurrying, dwindling footsteps ensued. Only then did I peek through my lashes, eyes widening gradually as I finally took in the surrounding.

Numerous people clad in an article of ancient clothing I was familiar with dotted either side of the cobblestone pathway—kneeling all the way down, forehead touching the ground. A gawking child underneath the lines of trees we were trudging through caught my eyes. His wide eyes stared right through mine, and I couldn't help but notice the brimming wonder it held. The woman beside him tugged him back down as we passed by.

A cry of relief sounded off somewhere around the kneeling crowd, my head darted aimlessly everywhere, searching for it. I unintentionally fisted the man's clothes upon landing my eyes at some middle-aged people. They may be in kowtow, but their shaking shoulders were a dead giveaway.

It's not intended for me, is it? Chills crept upon my skin at the thought.

"Ignore them."

I inwardly flinched at his indifferent tone, and tersely nodded.

"Why are they doing this?" I finally asked despite dreading the answer I might get.

"Do you remember how you get into this place?"

My mouth hung open at his question. "I . . ." I trailed, uncertain how to phrase it without deeming myself crazy. "A veil. I fell through it. And then—" I caught myself, risking a glance up just to find him staring back down at me. "The purple field."

His jaw clenched, fixating his attention ahead. "Do you know where you are?" He paused. "What's this place?"

I squinted my eyes on him, completely perplexed at his questions. "Why? Am I not supposed to set foot here? Is this some sort of forbidden place? Is this place similar to the lost city of Atlantis, and I shouldn't have supposed to know its existence? Were you going to kill me then, and use my rotting body as fertilizer?" I rambled.

The line of the crowd disappeared as we entered a tall wooden roofed gate where few burly men held an imposing halberd each. His narrowing eyes snapped down at me, and by the looked of it, I just knew things would come off his mouth weren't going to be nice.

"I asked you first, so provide me an appropriate answer, woman."

In my periphery, a handful of women rushed towards us only to step back at the stern look this crude man had shot their way. I scowled at that, appalled by his unpleasant behavior. My gut screamed at me not to piss him off, but if he'd continue such an act, hell would break loose, I swear! Never mind if it would only be my loss at the end!

"No," I said through gritted teeth. "I don't have a tad bit idea what on earth is this place."

He tutted yet again as we took a right turn from an open hallway with a view of the lawn. We entered a bright room and before I could take in everything around me, he unceremoniously dropped me, resulting in me tumbling down at the soft sheets underneath, even hitting my head on the bedpost. I gaped at him, downright aghast by his callousness to even care about it.

This pompous man!

"Does Ferguan Clan ring a bell to you?"

And now he'll just resume with his question as if he did nothing? Holy guacamole!

"Are you nuts?" I yelled, hand on my head.

He simply crossed his arms as he stood like a proud sentinel by the window where there was a low wooden table and some sitting pillows around. Clicking his tongue, he grimly said, "I asked you first."

He is nuts!

Calming myself down, I roved my gaze around the cozy room and studied it. A tatami mat flooring, wooden sliding shutters across me, and a changing screen with scenic blossoming Sakura trees by the left side corner of this room. On the opposite corner was a two-feet furnished drawer with a porcelain vase stacked with lavenders. The overall structure ran similarly to a certain culture I was familiar with.

"Are you ignoring me now, woman?"

I snapped my attention back at him, drilling holes to his perpetual scowling face in hopes that it'd take him down for good. "It doesn't ring a bell, genius. Not unless it's some sort of clan in mobile games, then, no, it doesn't," I gibed, brows arching as well. His sass irked me!

"Grevus?" he asked again which I fervently shook my head no in return. "Teeroah? Ariath? Hortis?"

I deadpan shook my head.

He pursed his thin lips. "Proemith? The Hex of Ethel? How about the Astreon?"

"No." I sighed, getting tired of it all. "Not at all."

But those certainly make me anxious.

He fell into silence, seemingly in deep thoughts as he trained his perusing eyes on me like I was some sort of an alien.

I dauntlessly stared back, debating to myself if his odd clothes were a hakama or a hanfu. Or was it a mixture of both? It did look like it.

At that, I looked down to myself, noting the plain milk-white robe with long wide sleeves, cinched with a silk sash around my midriff.

"What's your name?"

I looked at him, more than ready to answer the only sensible question he asked for the first time only to catch myself unable to do so. My parted mouth remained as it was as my wild eyes fell down to my trembling hands. One flew to cup the side of my head in hopes of squeezing the answer that should have been so simple for me.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five . . .

I mentally counted ten seconds but racked nothing inside my head.

Completely horrified at the sudden realization, my hand flew to my pounding chest as I connected my panicking eyes to his.

"I swear, woman. If you'd always ig—" He abruptly stopped, brows arching a little at me as if he'd seen something pressing. "Spill it."

"I . . ." I gulped with difficulty, corners of my eyes misting. "I can't remember my name."

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 MORRI'S NOTE: To those readers who gave this a heart so far, thank you very much. Don't hesitate to leave your comments. They are very welcome! Keep safe! ✨

P.S: Succeeding chapters will be long. That's because I can only update at least once or twice a week since this story is also currently under heavy revision and translation from my native language to English, plus my workplace gonna be busy for the next two weeks due to Lenten Season. Terima kasih banyak! Sampai jumpa!