The rush of emotion that overwhelmed me didn’t last long, maybe several minutes. But the intensity of it started to recede sharply after that, I was still crying, sobbing over Kay who lay there motionless on the floor.

“Why… Why did you have to do that!?” I asked as more rational and current thoughts asserted themselves over the panicked terror that had filled me before. The horrifying image of myself laying in a bathtub of blood threatened to return and overtake me. I had to take several breaths and remind myself, “That isn’t me… It wasn’t me… and it's still not me.” I reminded myself as I sat next to Kay. Her breathing had stopped and her eyes were just staring up at where I’d been.

No one answered my question, even as Devin stepped up beside me. “The dungeon says we should get going.” he offered quietly, as though he was afraid I might lash out at him.

I didn't know why the dungeon told him that, and not me... Maybe I'd ignored it in my state, maybe that had happened.

I placed my hand on Kay’s cheek touching the tears she had shed for Meryl. These weren't for me… I had to remind myself of that. I wasn’t Meryl, I wasn’t Kay’s sister. I shuddered as I tried to force myself to disconnect. Moments passed and the torrent inside of me slowed and drifted back into the darkness from where It had come. I hadn’t healed… Rather there was likely no healing whatever this was… All I could do was cover it over with a metaphorical bandage and move on.

I’d said I’d help her… But I couldn’t. Still, I couldn’t sit here and mourn either. I didn’t really know what had come over me, that wasn’t my reaction to Kay. Well, not all of it anyway. That memory… a memory I shouldn’t have. Belle? She had looked just like me in the memory… Had she been my sister? A twin? What kind of sick parents would name their kids Anna and Belle? I sniffed at that thought, now that I thought about it sounded exactly like a thing overjoyed parents might do.

“Come on Anna.” Devin said, insistent.

I nodded, pausing only to reach over and close Kay’s eyes so she could at least rest. That done I borrowed Devin’s strength and he helped me stand.

Devin gripped me with his arm and leaned in, “Forgive me?”

I considered the words. Of course, he thought I needed them, after what I’d just done? I shook my head. “It's fine… I just, I just lost myself for a moment.”

He seemed to look me up and down and take my measure, not quite sure what to think, but after a moment he nodded, “Alright, lets get going.”

We started towards the carved stone passage that was the dungeon's hole and Devin kept me ahead of himself as we walked. I barely paid any mind to it for the moment.

I knew deep down that what happened made no sense. I knew that Kay and I had very little really connecting us. But I’d tried to be there for her. I had tried to do right by Meryl’s memory and protect her little sister. I’d failed, that much was certain. It had all somehow been tied in knots in my own head.

I decided to focus on something else, and thinking at the dungeon I asked, “Care to explain what you did back there? And... the pain?” I asked trying with effort, to think back to when I'd eaten the gemstone.

“I used your mana to facilitate your transformation, I then used your mana to fuel my ability to carve the stone, with such an abundance I was able to carve the whole length in minutes.” The dungeon explained.

“Wait… how much mana did I have?” I asked awestruck by the idea that I’d somehow gotten so much more than the dungeon had previously.

“A considerable amount. Far more than I’ve held at any one time. Though I must confess I’ve spent most of it on this operation.”

“So back to square one?” I asked.

“You seem to not realize your own value.”

“I guess… I’m not really thinking clearly either…” I offered.

“If nothing else you have the ability to produce mana via a new ability.”

“What ability?” I said thinking about it.

“You appear to possess a magical process that converts the potential for new life contained in a male's seed into mana."

“What!? That sounds ridiculous.” I stated firmly. “Is that some kind of succubus thing?”

“You had it when you picked me up. This is something you developed on your own, not part of the magical formations that your transformation bestowed upon you. If anything I find it somewhat backward."

It occurred to me that perhaps the strange sensations I’d been having were this. Each time I’d had sex… or drunk Devin’s cum I’d felt something, and that something had only kept growing stronger. I’d been drinking semen as it leaked out of me… I’d been doing this all without really knowing what I was doing… and it was all leading towards more... mana. Was it instincts? Or was my body just training me to be what I needed to be? Or in the end, maybe I was just depraved and overthinking everything?

“You seem to have figured something out?”

“Maybe. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, I just kept following what I felt was good, or pleasurable, what excited me, and made me feel better.”

“This makes sense. Mana is our source of energy, having more would naturally make you feel stronger, better, and more lively.”

I nodded my agreement and then what it was trying to tell me snapped into place, “So… Wait, so we don’t need to sit in a cave for ten years while you try and collect mana anymore?”

“Yes. This is why I created the contract I did.”

“I was thinking maybe you did it because that's what we discussed before.” I admitted.

“This contract allows us to exchange mana freely. It is somewhat unique in this, as in essence, our souls have fused to an extent.”

“That… sounds quite dangerous.” I offered.

"I cannot deny this."

“Yeah.” I replied I decided I’d talk to it more about what all this meant later when I felt better, still there were other questions, “What was that wave of pain and… thoughts? That hit me when I ate you?” I asked.

“Your body attempted to absorb me.”

I stopped mid-step and Devin ran into me almost causing me to crash to the ground.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” I offered.

“You alright?” Devin said from behind me.

The dungeon explained, “It is fine, I understand how it happened, and you could have no idea of the potential harm. You naturally stopped trying to do it when you were overcome with pain. Had you intentionally been doing this, our souls would have eroded one another until there was a victor, leaving us both damaged beyond repair.”

I breathed, and turned to Devin, “Sorry… I’m alright.”

He nodded in the shadows and we started moving again. Rather than continue the conversation I spent the next minutes considering the weight of what I’d learned and experienced, mulling it all over.

Stepping out into the light I decided to finally address Devin, “Sorry I lost it in there…”

“You don’t blame me?” Devin asked.

Best to fully explain this, I shook my head, “She wasn’t really wrong, I know deep down that this probably couldn’t have ended some other way. I wanted it too… and as much as I really wish It could have. I hadn’t stopped for one moment to consider what it would have been like for her to see me use my power.”

“Power?” He asked.

Oh, right! I grinned up at him and in a blink, I was Aquina again.

He stepped back and stared at me obviously shocked, “Wha…”

“I did say I lived with monsters.” I offered sweetly.

He gulped, “But you didn’t once mention you are one…”

“I wasn’t before…” I pouted up at him and his response.

“She is correct. Her transformation was only completed when I reached her.” The dungeon stated to the both of us, I could only tell because of the way Devin glanced up.

“He can hear you too?” I thought at the dungeon.

“I can speak to anyone within my range.” The dungeon replied.

“Oh… For some reason, I thought you could only speak to… well people working with you.” I offered.

“Where did you get such a strange idea from?” The dungeon asked.

“I… don’t know.” I admitted and focused back on Devin who was looking at me, trying to decide something.

“I don’t need to worry about you eating me or anything right?” Devin asked a bit concerned, but there was something else… He was being a bit, playful?

I stepped closer to him and he just looked down at me. I pressed my forehead to his chest, “No I’m not the kind of monster that eats people.”

“She not eat raw meat.” Scout confirmed from the side.

“Is that so…” Devin asked a bit suspiciously.

I glanced up at him to see he was grinning like an idiot, “You're really gonna make a joke about me sticking your meat in my mouth right now?”

He chuckled, “I suppose that was in bad taste.”

“You don’t taste that bad, I kinda like it to be honest.” I replied.

“Now which one of us is the problem?” He asked.

I let myself lean fully against him, “We can be even for the moment…”

Devin wrapped me up with an arm, before asking, “So who is the real you? The tiger kin? This elf woman?”

I shook my head, and let my body revert back into Meryl. There was the form I'd seen in my memory... But that felt distant to me now. It wasn't like years of life had surged back, I had what felt like a minute of a past life. So that left me with the question, was this who I wanted to be? Did it matter? Could I just change my mind whenever I wanted?

“Never that elf woman.” I said after a moment, “That woman… she's evil.” I said really feeling that description for her. “She's definitely more a monster than I am…”

“In what sense?” Devin asked.

“I could see it in her eyes… She wanted to hurt us in ways that make me sick to even think about… I’m just a shape-shifting slut by comparison.” I said forcing a smile.

“Well… that's one way to say it.”

“You have other abilities besides shape-shifting.” The dungeon interjected.

“Dreams.” I replied.

“Curious… you are aware?” The dungeon asked.

“I have good instincts.” I noted it was half a guess, half some part of that metaphorical third arm I'd grown.

“Yeah? Is that what you call fucking four guys outside of a camp?” Devin asked me.

“No, that was called fun. But yeah… Good instincts, bad ideas.” I said chuckling to myself.

“Whatever you say.” Devin said ruffling my orange striped hair and ears.

“You are pretty cute this way.” He said, “But you never did answer my question… Is this the real you?”

“Cute?” I asked.

“Sure.” He nodded even as he seemed frustrated that I’d ignored his question again.

I didn’t like “Cute” one bit. What kind of succubus was “Cute?” I took a breath and closed my eyes. I made a few adjustments. First, my orange hair lengthened before braiding itself. I enhanced my curves, a bit more in my breasts, a bit more in my hips, and thighs. I didn’t need giant melons, but Meryl was too small for what I felt I should have. A succubus needed curves and cleavage. Feeling my body's new shape was better, I turned my focus on clothing. After a few moments, a simple dress practically formed from my skin. I didn’t overdo it, but this just felt better, more in tune with my natural state? I noticed that the dress had formed under my loin cloth, and so I pulled it free. Strange that I could feel what the dress felt... I wasn't sure I wanted to think about that just yet.

I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but maybe Aquina’s skirt had been over my loin cloth… That was lucky. I took a breath and opened my eyes, glancing up at Devin.

Devin was gaping down at me.

“I think that's better. Let's say this is the real me for now.” I said reaching up and closing his mouth, even as I cupped his chin. Then gently I stood on my toes and pulled his lips down to mine kissing him for a few moments. “You like it right?” I asked as our lips parted.

“Yeah… definitely…” He agreed.

“Have you forgotten something?” A certain dungeon asked.

“What?” I asked not knowing what I’d forgotten.

“You ate me.”

“Oh… right.” I said grinning sheepishly. A few moments later a thin leathery strap emerged from my neck, and from between my breasts, a decently sized yellow gemstone flowed from my flesh even as it was secured by the leather straps.

“Is that better?” I asked down at the gemstone.

“It is functional.”

“By the way… What’s your name?” I asked.

“Name? Do I need one?”

I glanced around us at nine goblin men, Devin, and myself. “We are missing someone…” I noted.

Scout replied, “Woman stay in cave.”

“Right… we definitely need to start using names. I don’t care if you name yourselves after your professions, but if I can’t even tell you who is missing because I don’t know her name it's a problem!”

“But I am a dungeon.”

“You're not just any dungeon. You’re my dungeon.” I proclaimed.

“I am Anna’s dungeon?”

“I’m not calling you that. Pick something better.” I insisted.

Devin just chuckled to himself, “I don’t know-”

I shoved my hand over his mouth, “Quiet you! Don’t give it any weird ideas.”

“Very well… Then you will name me.”

“Me?” I blinked.

“Yes. You want me to have a name, it seems only fitting that you name me.”

“Fine.” I said considering it. As I thought everyone watched me, everyone waiting for my proclamation.

“How about, Naan?” I asked.

“Naan?” It asked, “Why have you chosen this name?”

“Mostly because I’m not that original. Me and you are a team, and we are pretty much opposites in a lot of ways. So I just swapped the letters in my name.” I explained.

Devin laughed, “Bad ideas eh?”

I shrugged, “Let this be a lesson to all of you! Don’t have me name you!”

“Fine.” The dungeon replied.

“Wait… really?” I asked.

“Yes. It is simple and straightforward."

I shrugged, “Well… that's unexpected.” I glanced towards the sky, “Alright… Well, now what?”

“We should distance ourselves from this tunnel, I sealed part of it, but we are well within the elves' territory, best that we not linger this close to their city.” Naan said.

“I double that…” I agreed.

“North. We’ll recover our missing goblin then decide where we will go.” Naan stated.

I nodded, “Let's go. Before someone captures me again!” I said rushing towards the trees.

Devin shouted after me, “Don’t even joke about that! And don’t run off!”

I laughed as the goblins all chuckled to themselves. We were a strange group, but at least we had each other. This wasn’t just a second chance, it was a third chance… and a fourth. As long as I survived to try again, I could keep on counting!

The end, of Part 1

Thanks for reading the first part - First draft: 51k words - Final published: 65.7k words

GuildChan

Thanks for all the comments! Let me know what you think of the first part, and maybe what sort of things would you like to see explored!

Spoiler

GuildChan

My original end of part 1 message:

Where to begin? When I started releasing this story I was quite excited to have told what is admittedly the first chapter of an otherwise larger tale. So excited in fact that I began working on the second volume immediately after I did a first pass on editing what you just finished reading.

Days past and my excitement continued to build and I forged ahead writing and editing each day in my down time. I was pumping out chapters faster then I was releasing them. My plan was to finish vol2 before vol1 ended and push straight on through and just keep writing.

But it wasn't to be, I started to see the flaws in what I was releasing, as I edited and reviewed one chapter at a time. It started small, but chapter after chapter the weight of them became heavier.

Then I quite literally crashed just about a week ago on Saturday. I stopped producing new chapters, I spent a whole day just trying to find the energy to edit the release for the next day. But I forced myself to do it, reminding myself that if nothing else some people were reading the story, so I had to finish the first part as I'd originally planned. This helped and I wrote "Ch 30 - B Side" as a way to impart some much needed closure that would have come far too late in vol2. Though I later put it at the end of Ch 29 as I felt that seemed a better fit. But I've done little else beside continuing my daily editing routine this past week. On the other hand I did a lot of tweaking and editing on these final chapters, which were definitely my favorite parts. I hope that that effort made the end worth while.

If I had to try and distill down the core problem, I think my storytelling is too slow for this kind of story. It's focused heavily on the characters and it leaves the plot to hang for long periods because their character development isn't directly tied to the plot in any meaningful way, they are just concurrent stories. This same style is used for the duration of Vol2, and the result is that the the volume stops with the plot mostly in the same place with most of the focus being on character's interactions and relationships and how those have developed.

In the end I have no confidence in my ability to write or edit, so a week of consideration later I've done nothing but spin my wheels. So while it was never my plan do this, I need to get out of my own head and I think the best way to do that is to ask you, the reader what you thought. So I'd like to pose the question to those of you who have also invested your time into this story, "How should I proceed?"

Now, I'm not gonna commit to do what is picked, but I am "Curious..." what the readers of this story think of it. More over how you think it should continue, or if it should continue. I know that some of you are excited by the possibilities that are there and yet to be explored, and I think that's also what got me excited to release it and start vol2.

Beyond that, maybe leave me a comment and let me know what you thought? Feel free to be brutally honest at this point I'd rather learn and grow then hear false praise. What did I do right, what was trash? Do you agree with my own internal assessment of the story, or am I being hyper critical? Maybe this genre isn't suited to me and I'm pushing in a direction that isn't where my strengths lay? If you are interested in seeing a re-write, or a continuation, what sort of things would you like to see explored? Alright, I'll stop rambling... *proceeds to edit 50% of the rambling out*

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