As requested, I was able to recreate my dress sans most of the water and asked to borrow a few things from Jenny, and Charlene. This meant we could hang up Devin’s clothing in the back. Jenny wasn't about to even ask her husband about the change of clothing question, and Charlene who was at least willing admitted that her husband was smaller and it simply didn't make much sense. So Devin continued to work in his underpants. I wasn’t distracted at all, not one bit, not by the way his muscles flexed, not by the way his body glistened in the candlelight. I was above such things, except for ninety percent of the time when I wasn't.

We returned to our previous task, distracted or not. For the moment we set the whole cave thing aside. We decided to avoid going down there for the moment simply because of how dark it was, and how dangerous that actually would be if something happened. We decided to focus on cleaning the second room we found instead.

While we worked we chatted, or rather, I asked questions as the case may be. “How did you end up with those soldiers anyway?”

“Not much to that story. A recruiter visited the town I was staying in. I had big ideas and not a lot of sense I guess.”

“Yeah? Tell me about it! I want to hear about how you decided to go off and be a soldier! Was it the brave new life you wanted to lead?" I asked with obvious exaggeration.

Devin chuckled at my silliness but nodded as he got down on his knees and helped me scrub the dirt towards the door. “To start, I’ve never known what I wanted to do with my life, you know?”

“I can guess.” I offered, for some reason, I very much knew what I wanted to do, and I'd been more or less doing that.

“Yeah, I can only imagine you’ve only ever had one thing on your mind from the moment you learned of it.” He snorted.

“Oh no... he's on to me!" I mocked with an exaggerated sigh, then laughing, shrugged, "It might have ended up that way, but I'm pretty sure that's not how started.” I corrected.

“Hmm… I’m honestly curious now.” He mused.

“We were talking about you if I recall.” I said fixing him with my stare.

“Fine fine… We'll come back to it later. When I was young I lived in a small town, we all helped with the fields, we all mostly looked out for one another. It was maybe three or four families.”

“Three, or four? That small…” I mused.

He nodded, “Things changed, and depending on when I'm talking about. I honestly can't say for certain which it was. Anyway, it had been that way for generations or so, or at least that's what everyone said. Most of the kids left to go off and find their own path, but each family had someone or several someones that took over and raised their own kids and continued the tradition.” He explained.

“But you weren't interested?” I verified.

“Na, my big sister was the one who took that position. She left for a while and came back with some city guy. My voice was deepening around that time if I recall right. I got excited about leaving when she came back with a husband. You could say I was inspired to find someone of my own. So a year or two later I said my goodbyes and left too.”

A few moments of scrubbing more and I had to leave to re-fill the bucket. In the end, the task fell to me because Devin was indecent. He wasn’t keen on wandering the town in his underpants and to be honest neither was I. After all, Devin was mine, and I wasn’t going to let random townsfolk leer at him. Then again would that even happen? I was probably overthinking it. Still the first time I had to ask for help with the glorious excuse, "I haven't seen a well that looks like this before!" The random man about town showed me how it worked and moved on.

When I returned with a fresh bucket and we continued cleaning I prodded for more, “So what happened after you left home?”

“Not a lot actually. I didn’t really have a lot of prospects. I didn’t have any skills besides field work or helping my mom or pa. That meant I took what work I could. Simple things, for the most part, laboring, and more fieldwork. Cutting trees and carrying logs. Eventually, I ended up spending time with the guards in the city, after a bit, I joined up with them.” He explained.

“So you were a guard? I wouldn’t have guessed.” I said thinking about how things turned out.

“I say guard, but it wasn’t like we guarded people from one another. We patrolled outside of the city. For instance, if we heard goblins were getting noisy nearby we’d track them down.” he explained. He glanced at me suddenly looking unsure.

“What?” I asked.

“I was worried you’d suddenly be concerned about all the goblins I’d killed over the years.” Devin supplied wearily.

I suppose I couldn't blame him, the echoes of another life floating in my head agreed that there were people that would do that. But I wasn't one of them, so I waved him off, “That doesn't really bother me. Honestly, I’ve had a complicated past with them myself. But since they took me in as their tribe I can’t really help but sort of like them, at least a little. My goblins I mean. In a lot of ways, they're not different from humans, beast kin or even elves. By which I mean it's hard to say, ‘all goblins are bad’ or ‘all humans are good.’ Just look at the archer guy we fought in the forest.”

“Yeah… that traitor.” Devin nodded.

“You know the first time I saw him, I said to myself, ‘that guy is no good.’ I knew even back then he was a piece of shit.” I proclaimed.

“Yet first chance you got, you let him stick his prick in you.” Devin noted.

I rolled my eyes. “That's not remotely the point.”

Devin shrugged, “I’m just saying it's hard to pin down what exactly your standard is for that.”

“To be honest, I don’t think I have one.” I replied.

“Hmm…” He hummed, glancing over at me.

“What? You've seen how I can be, Gerl just wandering over to ask me a question, the next thing you know I’m sucking his dick. I don’t know why I do what I do…” I said.

The conversation seemed to spin out at that. I made a few more trips for water, and then we finished that room, moving back to the first room just because we had some momentum behind us.

Maybe part of the problem is because I did know why I did what I did. It wasn't complicated after all. So now I was lying about it? Then again maybe I was just trying to be funny? I doubt Devin enjoyed me joking about that though. I was just being stupid, and I knew it.

A while later I decided I wanted to finish what I’d started and asked, “So you went from guard to solider?”

“Hmm? Yeah, we all knew how to use a sword and so they offered us extra coin to join up and march south.”

“So how did you get from that trying to steal their sack of money?” I asked.

“Simple, I got scared.” He offered weakly.

“I don’t quite follow…” I admitted.

“We were down there for a few weeks, we all pitched in and worked like crazy to get the wall and the buildings put up. It was a crazy scramble at first with most of us just sleeping on the ground worried that something was going to come out of the forest at any moment and try to pull us off into the dark. No one really had a clue how to approach the whole thing. When got the walls up things got better, we could sleep inside the walls under the moon and stars while a few others watched the paths in and out.”

I nodded understanding that much.

“We kept working, it was hard backbreaking work each day for several weeks, then most of what everyone was working on was done. Then suddenly all we had left to do was practice.”

“So what just sparing or something?” I asked.

“No, just stances, and swinging for the most part. For those of us who had experience, it was a waste of time. For everyone else, it wasn’t enough. The days just kept up that way and several of us pointed out various issues. The captain listened but had too much on his plate already with the scout reports and his own personal expeditions. I wasn’t the only one that came to the realization that no one had a clue what they were doing. They were all just making it up as they went along.”

“I think I kind of got that vibe at some point too.” I agreed.

“Yeah… So one day I got the stupid idea in my head that if no one had a clue what they were doing anyway, I could just steal the money and flee north back to civilization. They’d probably not have a clue who I was, or what had happened. I figured I’d get away with it and be back in the city living the good life in no time.”

“I can kind of imagine that.” I offered.

“Well turns out it was the dumbest thing I've ever come up with. The captain knows quite a bit of magic. Not only did he ward various things to warn him about incursions and such, but he was the only one allowed to touch the coin. So he caught me standing there, sack in hand.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t just kill you…” I pointed out, but then recalling our own encounter with him I thought better. He seemed pretty serious. Then again I remember my earlier encounter with him as well, he’d gotten worse I reflected. “But then again maybe not.”

“The captain was nothing if not too kind for the job. He repurposed the storage closets into holding cells and forged my iron ball from scrap with his bare hands. Pretty much everything metal from the hinges to poles and chains was made by him.

“The pots?” I asked.

He paused then shook his head, “No I suppose we brought those with us.”

“The scrap iron was cheap and he knew he could make whatever we needed, he wasn’t a military man at all. He wanted to do what he could to protect people, you know like the people that live here. It made me feel bad that I’d even tried to steal from him. Maybe he was too kind to hurt me, or maybe he saw the regret in me. Either way, he sentenced me to cleaning dishes. I really couldn't complain. It was just after that when I met you.”

I nodded. For a time just let it stop there. We were making good progress. But there was one more thing he hadn't covered that I was curious about, “I can’t help but notice that you never mentioned your girlfriend in that story.”

“Oh… Right, I told you about that before huh?” He said a bit flushed at the omitted item.

“So?” I pressed.

“That was back when I was a guard. She did a lot of foraging out past the walls so she came by frequently. She was pretty and I worked up the nerve to talk to her.” Devin offered.

“Right…” I continued pressing.

“You really want to know about another woman? He asked sort of perplexed.

“Sure, I’m curious what kind of man you are when you go after what you want.” I pointed out.

He almost seemed hurt at that but after a moment his expression shifted to neutral and he continued, “I frequently would help her collect herbs from the forest. Sort of acting as her impromptu bodyguard.” he said.

“And guard that body you did.” I smirked at him.

He snorted, “Weren't you supposed to be jealous?”

“I would be if we weren't talking past tense.” I lied. I omitted the part where I was jealous, but like with most serious topics somehow I just ended up saying dirty jokes or flirting to avoid the reality of it. I don't know why I insisted on hearing this, maybe some part of me wanted to know more about Devin, or maybe I was just trying to gauge his interest in me.

“You basically know the rest, after a few times I got brave and met her at her house. Then her parents pressed me for details.” He said pausing his work.

Well that was brief, wasn't it? I also figured I knew where this was going. “But, you're a terrible liar.” I pointed out.

“Yeah… Soon as her old man realized I’d deflowered his daughter in the forest it was all over. She stopped using my gate, and I avoided her after that.”

“Bummer.” I said feeling bad about how it all turned out, even though that meant he was here with me now.

Devin shrugged and after a moment he asked, “It was a few years ago. So, now that we are doing with my story, what about you?”

Shit! He remembered... Did I tell him? Could I? I suppose he knew some of the details already. I looked over at him, dutifully scrubbing away even as I weighed it all. If I wanted this to work, shouldn't I trust him more? Even if we weren't going to end up married, and I had no idea what that made him, if I wanted him to be mine, shouldn't I start here? You know what, why not! “It's kind of a weird story. It all started when the dungeon first spoke to me…” I began.

I told him most of what happened, I didn’t get into too many details, not that they mattered. But I did confess to fucking goblins. Maybe I just wanted someone to share things with, or maybe I wanted someone I didn’t need to lie to. For the most part, he just let me talk, thoughtfully listening as we finished that room, and moved to the stairs, then the lower hallway.

We didn’t put that much effort into the hall or the stairs, it was mostly just to clear away the loose dust and dirt that had built up. But I’d finished most of my story when there was a knock that draw our attention.

Jenny was standing by the broken entrance and I greeted her from the stairs, “Hello!”

“Since Devin helped with the field this morning, did you want something for dinner?” She asked.

“Oh! We’d love some!” I called back without a shred of doubt.

Devin who was still sloshing about in the basement called up to ask what was going on, so I relayed the new plan. In the end, it turned out that Evan wasn’t interested in sharing his table this evening, but Jenny brought us some bowls.

We ate, and after the basement was washed, and slowly drying we had little else to do, and the sun was still up for a bit longer so we put out the candles for the time being and made our way to the back, though the kitchen space that ended up with a bit of a smeared muddy path with all the water spills and wet feet that had tracked over it throughout the day.

“Today wasn’t all bad was it?” I asked.

Devin had just pulled a shirt over his head. I was a bit disappointed. But as he sat down and leaned against the wall he replied, “No, not bad.” He gestured over to himself, and I obliged coming over and sitting in front of him so he could wrap me up with arms.

I really enjoyed sitting like this, just listening to him breathe, the in and out of his slow breaths, and just the warmth and the sense of him being there around me, for me.

He pulled me in tighter, hugging me. “So you don’t remember anything from before?”

“A few things I've remembered recently. But it's mostly just bits and pieces that come to me when I’m talking mostly…” I wasn’t sure if what I’d recalled those mornings counted or not. Beyond that, I didn’t want to think about the other part. That way lay thinking of Kay, and all that happened. I really didn’t want to get back into that, it wouldn’t do any good.

“Doesn't it scare you?” Devin asked.

“Not really. I wish I knew what I was missing. But the last thing I want is pity for it. Besides, I’m figuring things out and learning what I need. I’ll manage.” I explained.

He leaned in close to me breathing just soaking in my smell and just letting the moment linger.

“What's gotten into you?” I asked after a time.

“I guess I just can’t help but think that maybe staying with you isn’t such a bad option. I’ve been mulling it over for a while now. But I don’t really have anywhere to really go, or anything to really do. You are maddening at times, and you really tend to not make a lot of sense. But I think you are a good person deep down. I generally enjoy spending time with you. My only real problem is knowing that you can’t be mine. Or rather, that you refuse to be mine.” He said finally.

I deflated slightly the obvious shift in tone that was that accusation. But there was no way around it. “I suppose not… Still, that doesn't mean that part of me isn’t your's Devin. I don’t know which part… But maybe you could have my left breast?” I offered.

“Stop that…” He chuckled.

I sighed, “I wish I could say that you and I could be a happy couple. But your right, I’m just not cut out for that. I’d be lying if I said I was. You’d know deep down that every time I wasn’t in front of you, you would wonder whose cock I was sucking. I’d know each dick I rode would be one more lie I’d have to tell….”

“Yeah, we've been over that.” He agreed.

“So we can’t be that couple. But I can still care for you. You can still care for me. I don’t know what that will lead to, but would that be bad? As long as neither of us is lying?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I think both of us have a bit of a jealous streak in us.” He noted.

“True... We can try, right? And we can just talk between us? If you want me to yourself some night I'm sure I won't mind.” I asked pressing a bit harder.

“For now, I suppose we can.” He said, “Besides, I’m the only one that knows the truth right?” He asked.

“Except for Naan.” I amended.

“Then that makes me special.” He chuckled.

“I suppose it does. For now, I don't know that I want to keep it a secret. I'm honestly kind of tired of pretending to be from this world.” I said.

"Alright, well I'll enjoy it while it lasts then." Devin said squeezing me.