Chapter 28: Selfless yet selfish
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I can't seem to understand what the system said.. but I can already feel the goosebumps and fear that I'm sure will make me emotionally unstable again.

"System... You.. you're just joking, right? Hahaha... your joke isn't funny." I asked the system, trying to make my guess a false.

"As the system said.. the other two hosts have been identified as your second brother and your ex-lover." the system said coldly... but I can feel the emanating worry from it.

"What? System... Hahaha.. I didn't find you to be so humorous." I tried to laugh off the fact that already lay in front of me.. as my body began to shake.

"Host... please accept the truth." the system said comforting me.

"Hahaha.. no? Is it no, right?" I asked the system but since the system will only say the same word.. I didn't wait for it to answer me.

"You! You're not Gail and Jant, right?! No.. you're not them, okay?!' I confront the two who was surprised by me.. but as the vivid expression on their face was plastered... It can be assumed that they were indeed the people I had loved back then.

Tears subconsciously burst out from my eight eyes.. as I walk closer to them while trembling.

"You're not them.. understood?! You.. you can't be Jant and Gail!!" I said unreasonably to them.. as I start to slap their head with my short and tiny legs.

"Bro---brother?" Jant asked me as shaking as my voice. Fear was apparent as well in his eight widened eyes with drops of tears.

"Don't call me Brother! You're not my brother!!!" I said as I slapped Jant's head again... but sadness overwhelmed me when I saw that face. It was so familiar from the face I always tried to comfort

Strong urge to comfort that face brewed inside me, as I subconsciously patted Jant's back. I don't know why.. but a strong connection was felt inside me... that seem to touch the deepest part of me.

"Jant.. is.. is it really you?" I can't help but be forced to accept such a thing as I was just being a fool.... fooling and hurting myself. I.. I am tired of being like this anymore. I don't want to sulk and be afraid of important things and challenges that come in my life.

I want to be brave now and faced the trouble awaiting me with confidence and dignity. As this was the second life given to me... I will definitely overcome all troubles and attain the dream I want. And also.. i will surely find a way to go back to the world I had lived in and left behind my siblings. I will definitely compensate for the moments I had missed back then.. with my brother and Gail.

"Grey.. I'm.. I'm sorry, Grey." Gail said to me, obviously afraid of something.

"Gail... Why? Why have you died with my brother as well?" I asked her still haven't moved on from the past.

"I'm sorry, Grey. Be.. because of me.. you.. you had due with your brother. Sorry..." Gail can't help but shake as the fear of being hated and fear of being left behind was something she can't take.

"Sister Gail.. it's not your fault. It's no one fault.. sister Gail." Jant said as he looked at me, afraid of what my reaction would be.

"Gail.. what.. what are you talking about?!" I asked Gail.. with a raised tone.. scaring the latter more.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Grey. Be---because of me.. you died with Jant.. sorry! If.  if I haven't driven Jant to go to your house... This.. this wouldn't happen. Sorry." Gail asked for my forgiveness as she kneeled down on the ground. 

Though I was supposed to burst out of anger and throw a tantrum.. but why do I feel different? Why do I feel sympathy towards her? Why do I seem to be hurt seeing her kneeling and acting like that? Why do I don't want to see her asking for someone's forgiveness with her dignity thrown aside?

"Gail.. what... What are you doing? Please.. st--tand up." I tried to lift Gail.. but she was stubborn as she will not stand up as long as I forgive her.

"No... Sister Gail. It's not your fault. To be in fact... it's my fault. I should be the one to apologize. If.. if I haven't just decided to go back to my brother.. then nothing would happen." Jant said as he also kneel... making me feel like I had done something wrong.

"Will you two stand up?!" I asked with a raised tone.. as I don't like to see them acting like this... acting like their pride has been trampled on and their dignity has been mocked.

"Will you two won't stand up?! I said.. stand up! I don't want you two to be like this! It's no one's fault.. okay?!" I was irritated now as I burst out in front of the two, making them steel their resolve even more.

"No.. I.. I can't dare to face you. I.. I have done terrible bad deeds.. sorry.. Grey." Gail said with her head facing the ground. Jant acts the same... And it makes me feel like wanting to knock them out to get back to their senses.

Do they think they're being selfless is good? It's actually making me feel more hurt and ashamed of myself! They're acting selfless but they didn't know that they're acting selfishly.

"Fine! Just stand up there all night and day! Don't you two dare follow me behind!" I was enraged as I leave the two behind in the forest.

The two who I left behind felt regrets as they look up to my fading back.. but I, who they're looking were filled with complicated emotions that I can't just seem to differentiate. I didn't know if I should be angry.. should be sad.. should be happy... Or should be depressed.

But the fact that i didn't have been emotionally unstable has been a great achievement for me.. but that wasn't noticed by me as I was still immersed in my emotions. And unknown to my gist... I have been able to accept such a fact without getting emotionally unstable was also because of what I had experienced before being restarted.

Although restarted.. the system can't still restart what I have been used to and experienced. Although I don't know it, but that's just for now.. as it was only sealed. No gods or demons can totally be wiped away what someone had just experienced as every part of the experience.. be it good.. bad.. or depressing.. was the thing that shape us to where we are right now.

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