garden

I never learned how to grammar, sorry.

It ended.

All those horrible things I did while in rage, ended.

I was breathing my last as my body perched on top of the Goddess’ hand, over the crown of thorns she held upon her palm, with the large thorns pierced through my chest.

Every breath I drew was heavy, yet my body became more and more light. As if all the blood in me had drained out, leaving behind an empty husk. Me.

There was no pain, only feeling the warmth of a living body slowly became stiff and cold.

At that moment, I said the same prayers I’ve chanted before I stepped off the railings above the Goddess’ statue that was used by the workers to clean the stained skylight. The same prayers I whispered as I climbed up the stairs and made peace with the world.

I prayed my sins would be forgiven, despite I knew I do not deserved it. Not one bit.

Closing my eyes for the last time, Resolutia Fallias will finally end.

My eyes opened again, to see the familiar canopy bed of laces and silk, in a room lit by a single lamp by the dresser. I was in my bed, in my own bedroom.

How?

I sat up while my hands tried to find the holes where the crown of thorns pierced me. They didn’t find a single one of them.

But why…?

“L-lady Tia, a-are you alright?”

A small voice asked as the young woman carefully approached me beside the bed. She is one of my chamber maid, Lily.

No. Was.

“W-would you like a glass of water, m-my Lady?”

There was fear in the girl’s voice, understandably of how I had been treating her. Very quickly but very quietly, Lily poured a glass of water from the pitcher near the wall and wiped the glass with a clean white cloth. I had made a scene before because the glass was wet and dirty in my hands. I had the young girl switched for a hundred times for something so trivial.

I stared at the small bony hands as the girl presented me the glass. When I grabbed those hands instead of the glass, Lily was shaking in fear, yet she firmly didn’t let the glass dropped.

The hands are real. It was warm and coarse, but ultimately real.

I had these hands chopped off because Lily dared to pick up the Prince’s glove that he dropped to return it to him. That was her only offense. The girl touched something belonged to the Prince. Something belonging to me, Resolutia Fallias. And that angered Resolutia to the core.

Lily was thrown away out of the manor’s gate right after that, in the middle of a terrible storm that wiped the kingdom and flooded many of the low lands where the common critters lived. I didn’t know if she lived or died then. I didn’t care.

But here she is, with her hands still attached, right in front of me.

I wanted to ask how could this happen, but I closed my mouth as I saw the girl was very terrified. I let those hands go and took the glass and took a sip. The water is cool. And real.

Is this reality…?

“I just had a nightmare… you can retire tonight. I wanted to be alone.”

Lily almost squeaked in relief hearing that and left hurriedly after, leaving me alone in the dimly lit room.

Had it all been a nightmare? Of me terrorizing everyone because of my selfishness? Of me maiming and killing servants because they mildly displeased me? Or when I went into a rage because the Prince didn’t come to see me when I demanded it?

It all was because of my obsession for the crown prince, Alexander Heavenking.

The Crown Prince, Alexander, was every bit the model fantasy of a charming man. Though many ministers and other rich families had offered their daughters to be married to Prince Alex, he still remained single at 27 years of age. Rumors has it that he focused too much on his other duties such as military and governing, but he was not shy from flirting with ladies in the ball that he managed to attend. With his dark hair and dark eyes, eyebrows slanted in a way that made him perpetually menacing, not many ladies nor men who wouldn’t admit they are attracted to the Prince.

Prince Alexander was like a regal beast that everyone wanted to get near, despite the dread of danger he gave off.

I was not excluded from those who were completely enamored by the Prince’s attractiveness. I fell in love with him the first moment I saw him from afar, during his victory parade for the war against their neighboring enemy. Prince Alex was only 13 then, but the 10 year old Tia had made her choice. That person will be the only one good enough to marry me!

But there was no way for me or my family to make sure that I will marry the Prince, if you just based on the rank of the Fallias within the nobility. Fallias was just third generation nobility, and in no way comparable to other families with old money. My great great grandfather was a merchant and had supported the country while a great famine due to harsh drought fell onto the land. When it passed, the King then grant him the title Viscount, and it had been inherited to future generations of Fallias ever since.

Yet I was not at all demotivated by the lack of status my name brings, no. The tradition of this nation’s royalty was that they would gather young ladies from several houses, no matter how low they rank in terms of nobility, and have them live within the so called Rose Castle. Within an indefinite amount of time, one lady would stood out between themselves and the Prince will marry her, regardless of her background. Even commoners were not excluded from being invited to the Rose Castle, so long they managed to catch the interest of the Crown Prince or the King.

And that is what I sought for. I would be summoned to the Rose Castle, and I will catch the Prince’s eyes.

The Prince was mine! The seat as the next Queen was mine! The kingdom was mine!

…or so the Tia Fallias, the foolish, childish, and jealous woman, would believe.

The moment I placed my two feet onto the grounds of the Rose Castle, was when my hysteria started. That was the exact moment when so many will die because I wanted them removed from the competition, and so many permanently maimed because they offended me.

The foolish Tia would do all of that while the Prince she loved stared at her with those menacingly dark eyes and hid an amused smile, like a beast who watched his prey wriggled in his claws before he went in for the kill.

Foolish Tia never knew the demon behind those dark eyes…

Except when it’s too late.