[Jyoti's POV]
"Hmm, so this was Mayuri's house?"
"Yeah, this was the address she told me in the past"
"It's impressive you still remember it"
"Well, I listen to her"
"U-uhm, Mam? are we sure about this?"
" 'You' are not sure, me and Jyoti are"
"Y-yes"
He's such a creep, now that I know his secrets, I don't even want to talk to him but it's not like I am any better. Still, I do have a choice wheater I want to talk to someone or not and choose not to.
But this house sure is small, there is no garden outside it and inside there are only two rooms. One room has a kitchen, dining table and the mattress for sleeping, all of which are in shabby condition. But this house has been abandoned for so many years, so it's only natural. The second room is the bathroom and washroom.
Spider webs are can be seen all over the walls and furniture. Mold is like a common sight in this house, the walls are damped because of all the harsh wheater it has endured. For some reason, there are slice marks all over the walls.
Everywhere inside the house is dark, except for that small ray of light coming through that one broken window. The air inside the house is chilly, it smells like rot in here. This house can perfectly be referred to as a haunted house at this point.
"Mehak, are we sure to find something in this beaten up house?"
"Yes, just search everywhere. Make sure your phone's flashlight is on, we can easily miss something because of how dark it is here. Jyoti, you search the kitchen side.
"Sure"
"Abhi, you search the washroom"
"Yes, Mam"
I don't know why, but I feel satisfied seeing him search in the washroom. Oh, mother, I think I just want to drag him down because I really hate his guts now. I mean, I didn't like him before because of how scared he acts, but now I don't even want to be in the same room as him. Mother, see how much your daughter has grown—
"Jyoti! put that hair back into the pocket and. Search"
"Alright"
Mother, I will talk to you later. I have work to do now.
.
.
.
Hmm, let's see what's inside this drawer and......oh, just cockroaches. But these are some big cockroaches, just a second ago I even saw a big spider inside the cooking pot. I opened the lid of pot and bam! it was there. Spider webs covering the whole of pot's inside, the spider looking at me and me looking at him.
I should get scared by these things, I should get creeped out by these but Mehak has made me kill so many of these that I don't feel anything towards them anymore, I wonder would mother be proud? when she finds that her daughter doesn't have a fear of insects?
Mother's fear of insects is just like any other average girl, so she should be happy to know that her daughter doesn't.
but there really isn't anything to be found here, I searched everywhere around the kitchen and dining table but nothing. Just more filthiness and trash.
"Mehak, you found something?"
"...yeah"
!! What!? she really found something!
"What!? What did you find"
"Take a look yourself"
Hmm? A notebook? It's in a battered condition, the words inside are difficult to read but huh?!...blood? why are there blood marks on some pages? It's like a small splash of blood, but whose's notebook is it? why is there blood on it?
"Jyoti, read the title of the notebook"
huh?
"My Diary"
Only Mayuri and her mother lived here, only the mother could write properly so... hmm, it's a diary the mother wrote but—
"Why is there blood on some pages, right?"
Jeez, her perception of other's mind is still strong
"Yeah, have you read it?"
"No, I don't want Abhi to hear this"
"You know that I am still here right?"
"Yes, so if you heard me, get out of here and go back home."
"Wh-what? already?"
"Yes, and come back tomorrow"
"Th-that's unfair"
"I will pretend to not hear that, now. O.U.T"
"yES! MAM!"
fucker should have left the moment it was said, no need to drag this out
"So, Mehak. He's gone, read it now"
"Yeah, give the diary back here"
"Ah! sorry..."
"What? Do you want to ask something?"
She really is a perspective one
"I have been wondering, why did you take Mayuri's eye?"
I asked it! I asked it! I really asked it! fuck! fuck! fuck! don't be angry! don't be angry!
"You mean this?"
...
huh? isn't that an eyeball?
but why is it inside a ring box?
No, why is it even inside her pocket?
is it similar to my mother's hair?
"I-Is th-th-that the eyeball yo-you took"
"Yup, it's beautiful right? just look how gorgeous it looks inside this box"
hahahaha... I can't do anything but laugh. What am I supposed to say? your girlfriend eyeball looks pretty being decorated like that?
"Wh-why did you took it?"
"It's her punishment, it will work as a lifetime reminder for her"
"Reminder for what?"
" It will always remind her to not doubt herself. It will remind her that the moment she doubts herself something will be taken away from her"
"doubt herself"
"Yes, didn't I say that she is becoming conscious of her actions. She's doubting everything about her life, she was doubting her love, she's doubting her insanity, she's doubting how normal she is, she's doubting how different she's from everyone else"
"and taking her eye will help?" that's just bullshit
"It doesn't have to be an eye. It can be anything, the point is she will lose something every time she starts doubting herself"
"isn't it bad? that you are taking away her ability to doubt herself? she will never grow that way"
"The ability to doubt isn't bad, even I doubt myself several times but if it's taken to an extreme then the person is just devaluing herself daily. Mayu's self-value is decreasing because of how extremely she's starting to doubt herself. So, I will return her to the way she was before"
"Someone who isn't conscious of their actions, someone who has utmost faith in herself, someone who thinks they can do anything without any consequences"
"Yes, that's what she was used to be and she was much happier and clear-minded than today"
"but it's not a guarantee that she will turn out how you want her to, and you are basically manipulating her life"
"Yes, it's not a guarantee but there's a chance and I will bet on it. Even if she doesn't end up how I like her to, I will take care of her my entire life. She's my responsibility, I will support her even if she becomes mankind's enemy."
"Hmm, that does sound pretty and romantic to hear. What about manipulating her life?"
"I will manipulate her, I will lie to her, I will do anything I can to make her life better"
"hmm, you turned out pretty romantic compared to those school days"
"Well people change, blah blah...and I also wanted to know what it felt like to torture someone you love...anyways give me the notebook"
"Yes, here you go" I feel like she doesn't want to talk about the real reason, no need to push her. Only, I would get hurt doing so
"Not everything is readable, but I will try my best to understand it. So, help me out here"
"Sure"
.
.
.
[My Diary]
I don't have anyone to talk to
Father, Mother abandoned me care about image more
man also abandoned me the baby's still here she's only one with me
Should take care of her she's the only reason to live
1
they don't send money anymore
they just forgot about me
what am I supposed to do now?
have to earn, or Mayuri will have to work for Mayuri
her school fees daily food everyday necessities
that child looks at me with such innocent eyes have to protect Mayuri
21
Tired I am so tired everyday every day
EVERY FUCKING DAY
I work so hard for her I clean other people's houses
I provide her with everything and she just she just
CAN'T STOP BABBLING ABOUT THAT FATHER
I work hard for her I give her school fees It's not that MAN
He hasn't done anything for us yet why? why? why?
She just keeps asking about that man it's like she's reminding me that I chose the wrong man to have sex
with Is she blaming me? for not giving her a life of luxury
yes she is she's definitely blaming me
What am I saying? she's not blaming me
I just need some rest
46
Tired Tired Tired Tired
Tired of everything that child is not innocent that child
asks about that man every fucking day she doesn't stop
Got fired from my main job she doesn' give a shit about that
I am looking for another job she doesn't give a shit about it
How I am getting the money that child doesn't give a single shit about it
always always always always just
FATHER FATHER FATHER FATHER
FATHER CAN GO TO HELL
WHY DOESN'T SHE CARE ABOUT ME?
DOES HER FATHER PROVIDE FOR HER?
I AM HERE I PROVIDE HER
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ME
MY OWN CHILD DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME
65
Yelling at her is becoming a hobby she's doesn't cry
doesn't do anything while being yelled she just stares at me
she just locks her eyes with mine it's like she's looking at a filth
she must be laughing at me she must find her mother to be a clown
she doesn't know anything about me
she judges me like everyone else she's creepy that child's creepy
that child's not alright in the head that child's an alien
that child just stares at me what's that child thinking?
every night she just stares at me while cooking she stares at me
while taking a shower she just stares at me what is she thinking?
why does she stare at me all day? is she planning to kill me?
NO NO NO NO NO A child can't kill but that look in her eyes
she bullies children at school every day she kills whatever insect enters this house
the week before, she was playing with a knife
yesterday she was swinging the knife she sang while doing it
she caught a rat today it was a big mouse
she stabbed the rat didn't stop there
she started singing
Litte Mayuri had a Knife
She gave her mother 40 whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave herself 41
she just kept on singing this she just kept on stabbing the rat she just kept on looking at me
she just kept on that innocent smile
71
TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY
TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY
TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY
TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY
TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY TIRED, ANGRY
SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED
SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED
CHILD SCARY CHILD SCARY CHILD SCARY
CHILD SCARY CHILD SCARY CHILD SCARY
101
SHE WILL KILL ME
SHE WILL KILL ME SHE WILL KILL ME SHE WILL KILL ME
WILL KILL ME WILL KILL ME WILL KILL ME KILL ME
KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL
KILL HER KILL HER KILL HER KILL HER KILL HER
WILL KILL HER WILL KILL HER WILL KILL HER WILL KILL HER WILL KILL HER
I WILL KILL HER I WILL KILL HER I WILL KILL HER I WILL KILL HER I WILL KILL HER
I WILL KILL HER
BEFORE SHE KILLS ME
I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT THING IS THINKING THAT THING ISN'T MY CHILD
THAT THING IS A DEMON THAT THING IS THAT MAN'S PROPERTY THAT THING SHOULDN'T
EXIST
THAT THING SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO EXIST SOMEONE HAS TO KILL HER
SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE
ME? ME? ME? ME? I SHOULD STOP HER I SHOULD STOP HER
STOP HER STOP HER STOP HER STOP HER
THAT THING SHOULD BE COMING BACK ANYTIME NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN
THAT THINGS HAS CUT OFF MY HAIR AND BURNED IT THAT THING HIDES DEAD INSECTS INSIDE MY CLOTHES
THAT THING KEEPS STABBING THE WALL WITH KNIFE
THAT THING HAS SLICED MY LEFT THUMB THAT THING HAS PUT MY THUMB INSIDE MY FOOD
THAT THING JUST SMILES
THAT THING DOESN'T CRY THAT THING DOESN'T BECOME SAD THAT THING DOESN'T GET ANGRY
IT JUST SMILES
SMILES LIKE A LUNATIC
THE BUS IS HERE THE SCHOOL BUS IS HERE SHE'S COMING
SHE'S COMING
142
[Jyoti's POV]
"The end, so that's why there are knife slices all over the walls"
"Mehak, that's not even funny" I mean what the hell was this diary?
It should be burned away
"Hey, Mehak. What about these Blood marks though? the mother didn't mention anything about this"
"She has mentioned it, we just can't find where it is written. I mean it's a 142-page diary and we could only decipher this little"
"That's true, but why is it finished at 142? what happened after that"
"Orphanage age happened. They fought, and the next day mother ran away"
that must have been one hell of a fight, that it forced her mother to finally run away. I mean it's pretty clear that she was scared of Mayuri, but she still didn't abandon her until the fight.
"But we still don't have any clue about her whereabouts"
"that's not true, this diary must have some clue about her. I will take it and try to read it thoroughly tonight"
"Hmm, as you wish. Call me if anything happens"
I should also return home, I need some rest from all this mess.
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