I looked out of the window as the teacher gave his lectures in front of the class. 

I'm not really in the mood for it now. I know it is pretty rude from a student to their teacher, but what can I say?

Because even if I try to keep my gaze on him, my mind will take the role to space out and drifted away through the window. So it's one or the other, I don't have many choices at all.

Then, what am I thinking right now, you asked? Well, not much to be honest and it could be pretty random.

Like now, I thinking what would happen if my grandpa never married grandma? Will the void keep me inside the deep nothingness, or will I born into another existence? As a strange person with an unknown identity? It's kinda frustrating to think about it.

And minutes before it, I was thinking about things I've done in the past. I've committed a lot of things. The good and the bad, sins and merits, that lead me where I am right now.

And then I think, what would happen if I undid one of that things. Will that change the future and put me somewhere else besides here? Or instead, it's not affecting the flow of my life because it's just a minor thing?

As you know, not everything what we've done actually leaves an effect on our kismet. Some of them just appeared as a side-event in our life, something does not important at all which only fulfills the story of our life. While the other does give an effect and leave a mark in our life.

So that's it, not really important but more interesting than his lectures.

"All right, that's for now. I'll take the leave first. Don't forget to do the assignment I gave and collect it by tomorrow." Done with the lectures as the time is already up for the homeward, he took his time to remind the students to do what he ordered and collect it by tomorrow.

He then takes his leave and as he passed the door, the class became hectic as some of the students let out the relieved sighs and the others chattered around.

I'm yawning and putting back books and other stationeries that have been laying on the table, unused, inside my bag.

"Heeey Maaas~" When I want to get up from my seat, a pigtailed-haired girl greeted me by holding the back of my seat.

I turned my head to the right and I can see clearly her smiley face. "What it is now, Clara?"

"Can you go to my house? I want you to teach me again."

I sighed, "why don't you go with Shina? She's ranked first in our class last semester, ain't she?"

"But I want you. What's more, she's not really good at teaching others and I feel more comfortable with you!" She's humming along with a jaunty tone as she convinced me.

"But Clara, didn't I already teach you yesterday?"

"But it's in the library."

"What's the difference?"

"Pretty much. Please, Mas, help mee~. I can't really focus if it's not in my room." She pleaded and cupped her hands together with pleasing looks.

I sighed, it's not that I don't want to but, at this rate, it would be a daily activity because I have already taught her together for about 1 week.

And to be honest, doesn't much have changed since. In other words, I don't think it does work well. That's why I suggested she ask Shina for it.

But I don't know why she's so persistent to ask me instead.

I peeked again at her pleading face. Actually, she's not that bad either in terms of grades, she's sometimes in the fifth or the sixth of the best in our class. Yet, she looks unsatisfied with her current achievement even though I think it is already good enough. But then again, people have their own standards, so if one says it is good, the other could say the opposite.

Who knows with her standard right now, what she has achieved can't be called "good"?

"You okay with that, right?" She showed me her puppy eyes yet again as her ultimate weapon.

I, again, other with what I already said, I have no problem. But now, with the fact she wants it In her house, in her room, a girl's room. It would be pretty awkward for a boy like me.

'No, I can't teach you,' detained at the edge of my tongue. Somehow it was restrained by the feeling that I don't want to disappoint her. And I don't think my reason would strong enough to back it up.

I'm always like this, It's hard for me to say no to others. My heart is too big for my low will.

"A—alright." In the end, that's how it went and ended.

When she heard that she dragged a wide, satisfied smile, impinged her pleading face.

"Thank you, Mas!" Her hands, which has been cupped suddenly shoved into me as she pull herself towards me and hugged my body with her overwhelming happy feeling.

The attention from the other students is inevitably received and I must endure the mortification of it. While Clara, does not feel bothered by it even in the slightest.

"H—hey Clara, stop it!" I pulled her away by her shoulders. The fact that she's so ignorant about it was a scrounge to me.

"Hehehe~ let's go then!" She takes my hand and dragged me out of the classroom, leaving the rest of the students in confusion as to what happened between me and her.

We separated away to our own lockers in the respective area and meet again in the front of school's gate. Then we walked together to her house. The time flies in silence as we don't speak a single word in our walk.

After several minutes we arrived at the front of her house. "Come one." She drives me inside her house and goes straight to her room.

"Welcome, welcome" She ushers me in as she pulls me inside.

Her room was pretty simple, my presumption was wrong. I expected it would be more colorful and quite flashy... knowing her characteristic and her usual traits towards me.

It was painted in calming white and pasted on with simple wallpaper in grey-scale.

"What are you tranced about?" She was already there, sitting on the floor with a small table in front of her. Books were already lying there, waiting to be opened.

"It's nothing, I was just surprised about your room... the atmosphere." I then put my bag on the floor as I sit down facing her.

"What would you expect anyway?"

"A more flashy... and girly, I guess?"

She chuckled, "I may look like that, but I actually don't like flashy things and girly colors. I love aesthetics and simpleness more than it." She said as she looked around her room and awed her preference style.

"Anyway, why are you sitting on there? Come here." She patted the vacant spot beside her, suggesting I sit there right beside her.

"It's okay, I prefer here." I rejected her call as politely as I could and plastered a thin smile over my face.

"It would be more convenient if you sit next to me." She persistently asked me to shift my position next to her.

She stared at me trying to entice me with it hoping that it would be enough to make me change my mind and then sit next to her.

But fortunately, nothing could sway my notion to sit here.

"You're quite stubborn, eh?" She gets up from his position and moves next to me and sits there. I look at her in wonder.

"If you don't want to, then I would be the one who changed my sit. You fine with that, right?" She puts her arm on her thighs as she tilts her head to me.

It was inevitable for me to sit next to her. I don't have reason to disown it either because she just wants to sit next to me, so it would be easier for me to teach her. Nothing wrong with that but it's just me who wants to keep the distance.

I don't have really good experience with girls my age. Let alone hanging out and befriending them, I barely exchanged words with my opposite gender in school. If I'm not wrong, she's the only opposite gender who is quite close to me.

This is also the first time for me going to her house and straight to her room on my first visit. Which makes me more nervous by sitting next to her in her own room.

"What's wrong Mas? You daydreaming again. Are you perhaps not feeling well?" Concerned looks adorn her face as she leaned her body and pushed her face towards mine with her hand placed on my forehead.

"H—hey, what are you doing?" With nervously gnawing my mind, I shifted myself backward which made a distance between me and her as well with her hand slipped off my forehead.

"I'm just checking yourself if you have a fever or anything. But looks like it's not the case." She said as she looked at me, perplexed by my action.

"I—I'm fine. Anyway, let's get started." I changed the subject as I get back my composure and closed the distance just a little that could be enough for me to teach her in "convenient".

She still quite flurried but she let it off and opened her textbook while I opened the Chemistry schoolbook.

She asked the questions she still don't understand and was hard to figure out while I answered them with what my knowledge knew.

Sometimes we come at a question that she or I know the answer to yet, so we work together to solve it and eventually get the formula together.

So it's more like studying together than tutoring. And for me, who usually studies alone, to be honest, this is quite fun and relaxing. Now I know how it feels to have someone that relies on you, and someone who can be relied on either. Mutualism Symbiosis.

The "tutoring" was going fun and all until then, she asked something that invited awkwardness.

"By the way, Mas, do you have someone you like?" Her words got me taken aback for a moment and my hand stop making strokes in response to her peculiar question.

Her textbook keep sealed her eyes, fortunately for it, she doesn't see my dumbfounded face.

"*Cough* I, I don't think I have anyone in my mind at the time." I said as normal as possible when I hold my tranquility back.

"Oh." She answered flatly. Doesn't contain any emotion at all. And her happy-go-lucky expression changed in a flash to a cold-straight face.

The awkwardness keeps hovering above us when the conversation trailed off there by her "Oh".

You are the one who comes with it so why you gotta cut the conversation with that flat "Oh"? At the very least, please give a more warm answer for it! Oh, it drives me to feel that it's my fault to answer it like that.

Surely I can't let it go like this for long. I must seek change and sway away from the awkwardness. I must take the initiative and take the charge of the flow of the conversation.

"*Erm* Anyway, how about you, Clara? There must be lots of boys giving you a love letter, right?"

"Huh?" My words caught her off and she stopped writing whatever she writes in her textbook.

Have I stepped into the red zone?

"Other boys, huh? Well, I guess." It was a vague answer that came out of her small mouth.

"Like today, I got another love letter in my locker." She said uninterested in the topic.

"It reads he wants to confess his feeling to me after school, waiting in the backyard like the others did that got me bored."

Well, it is pretty much guessed by how popular she is in school. No wonder she always gets a love letter and confession nearly every day. It was her charm's "fault".

And I would be lying if I say I don't put a feeling for her. By no exception, her charms also sealed my heart and I was attracted to her.

But I keep it with me alone because I know what worth I'm. No, by no means I'm demeaning myself, but I just realize and comprehend I'm not a match for her.

I'm no more and less than her friend, her "mini-tutor".

The higher your hope is, the harder you would fall when you realize you can't catch that high hope.

"So it's an easy call for me to ignore it and throw his letter away." Her cold answer gives me a new insight into her personality.

This is really different from what she shows at school.

"So, I guess you don't have someone you like either then?"

She was quiet silent before turning her head towards me and staring at me right in the deep of her eyes. "Nope, I have a crush on someone. But unfortunately, he's too dense to be aware of the hints that I gave all this time."

The time flows in slow motion as she said that. Her eyes at my eyes make me short of breath when I feel that, what she said was addressed to me. That "someone" was me.

But then again, don't get your hope up. You must realize about yourself whether you deserve that or not. I tried to brush away the overconfident over me but the seriousness in her eyes makes it hard for me.

"A—haha—hahaha. It must be hard for you." I faked a laugh and puts a nervous smile on my face.

"For real. That makes me to come up with the idea of bringing him in my room just so I can confess it. How embarrassing it is to be confessed by a girl?" Like a shot, a naughty grin has overwritten her cold-flat expression as her teasing tone prod my stomach. Dizziness takes over me as I'm surprised by this sudden turn of events.

She puts her pen on the table then she puts her hands on the floor to prop the weight of her body that slowly leaned towards me.

In panic and confusion, I looked around and thought hard to come up with a reason to defer this turn of events.

"What's more, he asked me about love letters from the other boys. It annoys me very much when someone I love says something like that, you know?" But unfortunately, my times up when her soft palm touched my thigh.

I can't come up with a good reason because I can't think straight at all. The way she looked at me meekly turned off my brain and I can't think anything but "her".

"A—aah wait a second Clara!" I writhed myself backward and tried to keep the distance. But alas, I can't do much because I find a wall shut my escape from her.

"Hehehe~ you can't run away, Mas." She smirked and closed the distance between us.

There's no other way, the fortune has closed its door and abandoned me right when I want to knock on it.

"Cl—Clara, I don't have time for your little prank." Even so, what's inside me refused to be lenient and wilfully thought it is just another prank pulled by her.

"It's not a prank, Mas. I really love you, from the bottom of my heart."

"Why do you think I always pestered you? Tried to be close with you? Asking you to teach me even though my grades are not that bad? It's because I love you, I yearn for your attention, Mas." I see a sincere affection gleaming within her eyes, it's not like what is used when she teases me. And I began to believe it, I hoped it.

"Or, do you want proof?" She asked me and then slowly coiled her hands around my neck.

I could see her eyes looming to my eyes and her hot breath tickling my face. She holds her face inches away from mine, with her tender gaze waiting patiently for my response.

I want to put my hands on her shoulders and pull her away from me. But, on the other side, I want it, I want that proof. I'm hoping up for it, desired it.

And I lost to it.

"I love you~ *smooch*" She whisper softly before her lips met my lips.

At first, it was a simple peck. But slowly and gradually it began to be a deep kiss as she push and slip her tongue inside my mouth between my tooth.

"Ahhn *slurp~* *mmmpphh*. Ah, hah *mmhhh*" I was surprised by that sudden, naughty assail. I reflexively want to pull away from my head but she suddenly tightened her entwined hands on my neck and instead tried to hold and pull it deeper into her. She also began to leg-locking me like a sloth, putting all her weight onto me as I reclined by it to the wall.

"Mmm~" Her tongue searched for mine and start to twine it, but the saliva made our tongue sleek and she had a hard time wrapping my tongue. Even so, it made the stimulation feels more excitant as our tongue touched and massaged each other, lubed with the thick fluid that covered our tongue together.

"Mmm... Aaahh~" After feeling satisfied with that, she retracts her lips and I could see the strings of saliva between our tongues and some adorning her mild lips, slowly dripping away from it.

"So, what's your answer, Mas?" She panted, short of breath because pushing her limit and forcing herself to kiss me deeply.

I can't straight right away answer her as I'm trying to collect back my sanity with the heating feeling inside my head.

"You don't have someone you like, right? So it's fine to tuck me in inside your heart, right?" Full of hope and belief, be heard inside her voice.

After cooling down, I responded to her words. "Clara, to be honest, I have a crush on someone."

"... What?" Didn't expect that to come from me, her eyes widened open in shock. Disbelief and sorrow embezzled her bright eyes.

"Yes, I have a crush on—" Before I finished my sentence, she burst in with a cracking voice.

"B—but, you said you don't have someone in your heart. Are you lying to me, why are you lying to me?"

"I'm sorry for lying."

"...... So, you actually liked someone, huh? At the very least can you tell me who that lucky girl is?" She tried to hold her tears as her lips trembled when she asked that. All the spirit has gone away with the hope and left the taste of sorrow, leading her head to look down languidly.

"That girl's name is Clara. My classmate and I do love her since the first day she appeared in my life."

"E—eh!?" She upturned in surprise and looked at me with her damp eyes, yet again widened open. She didn't expect that I would use her own spell against her.

"Yo—you can't do that... to me." She then shove her head to my chest and tried to hide her blush and embarrassment. But I get a peek before her face lands on my chest, a pleasant smile plastered her flustered face with tears still garnished the edge of her eyes.

I smiled at her and gently rubbed her silky hair.

"But I'm glad you also like me, at least it's not one-sided love. I'm really happy, Mas." She looked up from my chest and smiled.

"But what you've had done made me gone to the rollercoaster of sentiments. Happiness and sadness mixed together inside me nearly burst out." She said with a frown and pinched my cheek in sullen.

"Ow! I'm sorry, ok? I just want to make it a bit tearful. I'm sorry if I make you a bit sentimental." I grab her hand and slowly pull it away from my cheek while my other hand wiped the remaining tears on her cheek.

"Hmph!... But, why didn't you tell me earlier if you love me? If you do so, we might already be a couple now."

"Well, because I think you deserve better than me. I mean, you are quite popular after all. While I'm just... you know, average. That's why I keep my feeling alone within me." I averted my gaze from her eyes as I said that, contemplating my tendency.

"Idiot. If you love me, then say so. I know you realized the hints I gave you. Even if you think I deserve better than you, but if you are the one who I love, what you can do?" She hold my cheeks with her both hands and pulled my eyes back to her. She smiled, then give a peck on my lips.

"Loving you back. I love you, Clara."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Who's you love?"

"Clara."

"Who's Clara?"

"My classmate, my girlfriend, my love. I love you, Clara."

"Mmm, I love you too, Mas." It ended with our lips meeting again, as to commemorate this unforgotten event.