A group of men lined up in a room filled with Christmas decorations. The men looked rough, each one large and muscular, knives visible on their belts.

A door burst open and the Candy Cane Man strut his way into the room, carrying a bowl of candy canes.

 

“Hello, my new elves! Come, come, we have joy and cheer to spread! Here, have a candy cane!”

 

He held the bowl out to the men with a smile. One of them raised an eyebrow and scoffed.

 

“I don’t like candy.”

 

The Candy Cane Man’s face remained exactly the same, locked into a smile. He raised his candy cane staff…

A candy cane colored spike shot from the bottom, piercing the man in the chest. He screamed and dropped to the ground.

The Candy Cane Man turned to the others, with a smile still on his face.

 

“Here, have a candy cane!”

 

The men ran to grab a cane from the bowl, putting it in their mouths.

 

“You better watch out…”

 

One of the candy canes exploded, still in the man’s mouth.

 

“The candy cane bombs find out who’s naughty or nice! And only nice elves can spread Christmas cheer!”

 

---

 

Bob stared as he looked over the dossier and the examples of the target’s MO. He looked up and rubbed his chin for a bit before nodding one.

 

Yeah.

 

Nope.

 

He wasn’t going anywhere near this one.

 

Paranoid mages, man-eating monsters, mad scientists, and violent extremists he could handle. But this guy, this guy was absolutely insane. You were literally gambling with your life just being in his presence, no matter how much you tried to appeal to his ‘sensibilities.’

Getting into his org was easy. Surviving it was a roll of the dice. Maybe Bob might have tried if he were just starting out…but at this point his own life was a resource too.

After all…he knew a certain someone who might…cause some trouble were he to randomly perish from an explosive confectionary.

And with someone this insane…it was questionable if Bob could truly manipulate him. Or how useful said manipulations would prove to be.

Not to mention, there’s a genius to this guy’s madness. There’s no telling how much he knew at any given time. But he was either extraordinarily lucky...or extraordinarily intelligent. There would be a risk that Bob himself would end up being manipulated in the end, he could not be certain he would stay a step ahead here.

 

Simply…this guy was too risky to interact with in all sorts of ways.

 

But that was fine.

 

He had a feeling…this guy would be taken care of…one way or another.

 

---

 

The Candy Cane Man strolled down a dimly lit hallway, humming a Christmas tune and twirling his candy cane staff. Suddenly he paused.

 

“So you’ve finally come, Arachnalich.”

 

Arachnalich dropped from the ceiling, emerging from the shadows. She frowned.

 

“How did you know?”

 

The Candy Cane Man spun around, a massive grin on his face.

 

“He knows when you’ve been sleeping…he knows when you’re awake…he knows when you’ve been bad or good…and you haven’t been very good you know?”

 

The two stared at each other for a moment before the Candy Cane Man burst out laughing.

 

“Gotcha! I’m kidding, I had no idea you were there. It’s just…I’m the last one, right? So I’ve been saying that every five minutes whenever I’m alone!”

 

Arachnalich heaved a sigh, a vein bulging on her forehead.

 

“...I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

 

The Candy Cane Man twirled his candy cane staff and then planted it into the ground in front of him, resting both his hands on it. He simply smiled at her and chuckled.

Arachnalich pointed her hand at the man and fired a dark purple bolt. The Candy Cane Man leaned to the side and bolt flew past. She held out her palm and a dozen purple magic circles formed in the air, each firing a bolt at the man.

The Candy Cane Man began to dance, twirling about this way and that.

And the bolts went wide.

And then a smoldering charcoal smacked the spider woman in the face.

 

“Hehehe, whoops, looks like someone’s been naughty this year.”

 

Arachnalich clenched her teeth and rushed forward, extending the chitinous claws on her fingers.

 

“Just die already!”

 

“Come now, Arachnalich, we’re all friends here in the AVS? Why don’t we settle this over a drink?”

 

The Candy Cane Man took out a mug and held it out, just as Arachnalich swung her claws at him. Her claws shattered the mug…

Which exploded into a white and red mist.

Arachnalich began to cough. Her skin burned wherever the fog touched it. Her nose was filled with the scent of peppermint. And her vision began to spin.

 

“What the heck is this?!”

 

The Candy Cane Man smiled.

 

“Oh, just my homebrewed peppermint mocha! It’s got some coffee…the good stuff you know. Candy canes, of course. Some delicious chocolate.”

 

Suddenly he tilted his head, placing a finger on his chin.

 

“Huh, wait, didn’t coffee have some sort of effect on spiders? Whoops, you don’t look so good, sorry about that. Or was it the holy water? What are you…a spider or a lich? I was never actually clear on that, you know.”

 

Arachnalich grit her teeth once more, a high-pitched whine coming from her as she tried to hold in a scream. She swung her hands and filled the hall with webs….or tried to. The webs were erratic and full of holes. The Candy Cane Man twirled past them with ease…

 

And then sprinted down the hall.

 

“Run, run, run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the Candy Cane Man!”

 

Arachnalich stomped on the ground and ran after him.

And promptly tripped and fell.

She had mistepped and was now stuck in her own web.

This time she didn’t hold in the scream.

 

---

 

A few minutes of screaming, cursing, and cutting webs later and Arachnalich flew down the hallway. The man was certainly slippery, as expected of the Association’s extraction expert, but he was a normal human at the end of the day. She had mapped out this facility with both her spiders and her magic…there was only one way out of this hallway in the direction he had fled.

She would catch him, eventually.

And even if she didn’t, Cerberus and a number of her spiders were waiting at the other end. He was trapped, either way.

She heaved a sigh. There were still some strands of web stuck to her feet. She still couldn’t smell anything but peppermint. Her skin still stung all over.

He couldn’t escape…but she couldn’t let someone else kill him. She would not be satisfied unless she ended him herself.

She narrowed her eyes and groaned.

 

The door to the exit was in front of her.

 

That meant Cerberus got him first.

She sighed and stepped through the doors.

 

She froze, eyes staring blankly at the scene before her.

 

Cerberus was laying on the ground, happily chewing on three large dog treats. Her spiders were scuttling about in random patterns or else curled up on the floor, a white and red mist hanging in the air over them.

And the Candy Cane Man…was standing in a helicopter, already flying away. He was waving at her, and used an airgun to launch a candy cane at her.

 

“Take care, little spider, I know this is a blow. So have some sweets…and let it go!”

 

The candy cane struck her on the forehead, snapping her out of the daze.

Arachanalich flung her hands into the air, launching as many dark bolts as she could. But the helicopter was already out of range.

Arachnalich could do nothing but stomp around and screech unintelligibly.

 

---

 

The Candy Cane Man sat back into the set of the helicopter, letting out a sigh. He took out a candy cane and started to suck on it.

Suddenly an alarm began to flash.

And a missile flew straight into the helicopter, which burst into flames.

The Candy Cane Man leapt out the side of the helicopter, barely escaping the explosion. His clothes were torn, he had burns on his skin, and he was bleeding in places.

 

But he was still alive.

 

He pulled on the parachute and slowed his descent towards the forest below. He began to chuckle as he fell through the canopy, the branches inflicting additional wounds on him. And then he came to a halt with a jerk as the parachute was caught on the trees above.

 

A few minutes later a masked man emerged from the bushes.

 

“Hehehe…so you’re the one. I know…we’ve both been spreading cheer! So why don’t…”

 

Bob raised a pistol and squeezed the trigger. Twice in the chest, once in the head.

 

He waited for a moment and then released a small mechanical spider drone. The drone climbed up the tree, and then down the parachute to the man. It began to scan him.

 

No life signs.

 

No traps.

 

Bob let out a sigh.

The man was dead before his eyes…and yet he still couldn’t calm down, as if the man would spring back to life at any moment. That’s why crazies like him…are so annoying.

Bob took a peppermint out of his pocket and start to suck on it as he walked away, humming a Christmas tune.

Then he paused and swore.

It was the middle of summer for goodness sake. That Candy Cane Man...was so annoying.

 

---

 

Arachnalich rushed through the forest on Cerberus’s back, gritting her teeth as branches smacked her in the face.

If she lost the Candy Cane Man now…she would probably never find him again. Unless he wanted her to.

She would lose the initiative, permanently.

And she couldn’t make a move on the boss with such a dangerous dark horse on the loose.

Cerberus burst into a clearing…

Arachnalich froze, her jaw dropping.

 

It was Candy Cane Man, hanging from a tree by his parachute.

 

He was dead.

 

Arachnalich narrowed her eyes. She fired a dark bolt into the man.

 

No response.

 

He was truly dead.

 

She grimaced.

The Candy Cane Man being dead was a good thing, a weight off her shoulders.

But it raised a huge question…who took him out?

Could she make her big move with a new unknown in play?

She stood still, rubbing her chin for a long time.

Eventually she heaved a sigh and lifted her head, eyes narrowed.

 

It didn’t matter.

 

She had attacked the Candy Cane Man on AVS property. She was committed now, one way or another.

Only the boss was left now. She would not have a better chance than this.

 

She would have to take it.

 

Arachnalich and Cerberus left the clearing…fading into the shade of the canopy above.