“BOOOOBBBBB!!!”

 

The door slammed open once more. Bob heaved a sigh.

 

“Londibni, I get that you’re stressed, but could you consider knocking? Or at least opening the door normally? Look, the hinge is about to break.”

 

“Not this time Bob! This time we’re dead! Really, truly dead!”

 

Adoel just heaved a sigh as she floated in the air unseen.

 

“I can only hope.”

 

Bob ignored her.

 

“And why are we dead this time?”

 

“Even you can’t do anything about this one, Bob. It’s over, it’s really over!”

 

“Even if you say that, I can’t react unless you actually tell me.”

 

“The Dark Lord ordered me to recruit the Ancient Dragon for his horde!”

 

Even Adoel’s eyes started to widen at that. Bob just tilted his head.

 

“Ok?”

 

“Ok? OK?! BOB! Do you understand what this means?!”

 

“That we need to go find and negotiate with the Ancient Dragon?”

 

“NO! Bob! The Ancient Dragon is the most powerful being in the world! And is known for being extremely proud and volatile! They’ve destroyed entire civilizations over minor slights! The Dark Lord himself refuses to get within the same continent as the Ancient Dragon! And we need to convince THAT dragon to work FOR someone else? We’re dead! We’re really really dead! This is definitely a play to get rid of me! The order is straight suicide! He may as well have ordered me to cut off my own head! That might be LESS painful, in fact!”

 

Adoel flew in front of Bob before he could speak.

 

“Bob, listen to me. I know you’re pretty smart and you’ve handled some dangerous situations before. Yes, your levels are growing and you have that concealment. But please, forget about this. This is different, Bob. Even us angels don’t mess with the Ancient Dragon. Only Most Holy Ione can command it. So please, find another way. You don’t need to do this.”

 

Bob raised an eyebrow.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re worried? Wouldn’t that be the justice you’ve always said is coming for me?”

 

“You stupid, evil hero! If you go I have to go with you! And I’m too young to die!”

 

In her shock and haste, Adoel had accidentally dropped her concealment spell. Londibni was just staring at her.

 

“Bob…who is this?”

 

“An angel.”

 

“An angel? Ah I see…WAIT AN ANGEL?! BOB! WHAT IS AN ANGEL DOING HERE?!”

 

“Helping me.”

 

“HELPING YOU?! WHY IS AN ANGEL…”

 

Londibni froze.

 

Man who came out of nowhere, who seems highly intelligent but sometimes lacked basic common sense.

 

Man who had strange ideas no one else had ever thought of.

 

Man who was impossibly competent yet had never been heard of before. Who seemed to be able to accomplish anything. Who leveled up at an alarming, almost impossible speed.

 

Who was accompanied by an angel.

 

Londibni began to tremble.

 

“B-Bob…y-you’re…you’re a-a…”

 

Bob rubbed his chin and then nodded.

 

“I guess it’s a good time. Technically I’m a hero or something like that.”

 

Londibni collapsed. She sat on the ground hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.

 

“I’m dead. I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead. There’s a hero in front of me. The Dark Lord is watching me. I’m supposed to go talk to the Ancient Dragon. There’s an angel here. No matter what, I’m dead. I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead.”

 

“Look what you’ve done, angel.”

 

“Me?! What I’VE done?!”

 

“Yes, that’s what I’ve said.”

 

“I! You! You…AAAARRGGHH!!!”

 

Bob just rubbed his chin and checked his books for any mention of the Ancient Dragon as Londibni whispered to herself and Adoel invented some new words that angels probably shouldn’t use.

 

---

 

Bob, Adoel, and Londibni hid in a bush on the side of a road. Londibni was still trembling and muttering to herself, so Bob decided to bring her along, for lack of a better choice. Adoel had joined her in the “we’re dead” chant. But Bob ignored them and kept his eyes on the road.

 

And there was his target, a merchant convoy led by a noble carriage.

 

Adoel heaved a sigh.

 

“Bob, I don’t really want to know, but what are we doing here again?”

 

“Scouting.”

 

She took a deep breath, but then relaxed and nodded.

 

“Ok, that’s good. Take a good look, Bob. And then you’ll realize that we shouldn’t be here. We can run away. Change our names. Start a new life.”

 

“I thought you wanted me to be a hero? Or to get punished?”

 

“You stupid, evil hero! I’m trying to save our lives here!”

 

“Quiet, you’re noisy.”

 

“You…..”

 

As Adoel grit her teeth, a shadow passed overhead. Armed guards began to notice and took up positions around the convoy.

 

And then a mighty roar pierced the heavens.

 

All the guards…and everyone in the convoy…paled and started to run. Or else ducked into the dirt.

A massive dragon landed in the center of the convoy. It sniffed the air several times, then walked over to one of the carriages.

It took the whole cart into its mouth and dumped the cargo down its throat.

Then it let out another roar and flew away.

Bob raised an eyebrow and passed around some healing potions. He had taken damage just from the roars and the gust of wind from the dragon’s take off.

Adoel exhaled her breath.

 

“Ok, you see now? THAT’s the Ancient Dragon. See? It can kill you just with its presence, even if it doesn’t know you’re there. There’s nothing you can do against it, Bob. Even you.”

 

Londibni clutched onto Bob’s arm, nodding with all her might.

 

“The foul angel is right, Bob! Let’s run away! Change our names, start a new life.”

 

“No.”

 

“No? No?!”

 

Bob smiled.

 

“In fact, I know exactly what to do. Come on.”

 

Londibni just started crying. Adoel gripped at her hair.

 

“WHY?! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ASSIGNED TO THIS STUPID, EVIL, SUICIDAL HERO?!”

 

---

 

Londibni and Adoel were hiding in a bush, lying flat on the ground. They were in front of a large cave. Bob was strolling towards the entrance.

 

He didn’t even have his concealment on.

 

He looked back at the bush, raising an eyebrow.

The angel and the Eight General of the Dark Lord both shook their heads with all their might.

Bob shrugged and walked into the cave.

 

Adoel and Londibni glanced at each other.

 

“He’s dead.”

 

“He’s super dead.”

 

“...let’s make a run for it.”

 

“That will make us look like prey, we should hide here and hope it doesn’t notice us.”

 

“Easy for you to say! Aren’t you just going to run back up to heaven once he’s dead?!”

 

“That takes time! I’m not doing that in front of an angry Ancient Dragon! How about you?! Look, you’re a dark elf! You guys are the master assassins of the Dark Lord! Can’t you just lie in wait for a bit?”

 

“That’s stereotyping! I'm in a support role! I’ve never even assassinated anyone! Look, half my skills are in paperwork!”

 

Their conversation was cut short by a massive roar, the loudest they’ve ever heard.

 

They both paled and covered their heads.

 

They felt a massive amount of magic blasting through the air.

 

A huge bundle of power was quickly approaching.

 

They held their breath.

 

Something started to appear out of the shadows of the cave.

 

Their jaws dropped.

 

It was Bob.

 

With a dragonkin woman wrapped around his arm and smiling.

You did WHAT?! You…what…how did you…I don’t even… That’s definitely not supposed to happen! Um… … Whatever, I’m just going to leave this here. Title Gained: Ancient Dragon Tamer!

Name	Effect
Ancient Dragon Tamer	…honestly anything I could give you here is worthless compared to the freaking Ancient Dragon listening to you. Like, that’s not supposed to happen. This title isn’t supposed to exist. So, um, I don’t know something something dragons fear your name now. And most of the world should too, to be honest. I’m getting kind of scared myself.

 

“Come on you two, come meet our new companion.”

 

Londibni fainted.

 

Adoel’s mouth opened and closed several times.

 

“How?! Why?!”

 

Bob held up a bowl with his free hand.

 

“Ice cream.”

 

“Ice cream?!”

 

The Ancient Dragon licked her lips.

 

“Ice cream.”

 

---

 

Back in Bob’s room, Adoel and Londibni sat around a table, Adoel now at normal size. There were bowls in front of them, with a strange cold substance inside of it.

The Ancient Dragon was sprayed out on a couch further in the room, snoring with a happy smile on her face. And towers of empty bowls around her.

They looked at one another.

They nodded.

They picked up their spoons, taking a small scoop.

They slowly brought it to their faces.

They hesitantly took a bite.

 

They froze.

 

They made eye contact.

 

They nodded.

 

They both stood up.

 

They made their way over to Bob.

 

“How do you like it?”

 

They both grabbed Bob by the collar and lifted him into the air, shaking him around.

 

““WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE THIS FOR US BEFORE?!””

 

---

 

The Dark Lord’s jaw dropped.

 

“How? Why? What is…”

 

“My lord, is everything all right?”

 

The Dark Lord just clutched his head.

General Grenuc was kneeling before him.

Along with one of her minions.

 

Oh, and the Ancient Dragon herself was standing beside them.

 

“What is…how did you…I don’t even…just…what?”

 

“My lord?”

 

Just then, an explosion rocked the castle.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Another minion bowed their head.

 

“My lord, it seems the Hero Princess is attacking the castle.”

 

“What? How did she make it here? What were the guards doing?”

 

But then he turned to General Grenuc and smiled.

 

“Well, that’s convenient, actually. Let’s get ready to welcome the brave hero, muahahahaha!”

 

A short while later, the doors to the room swung open. Hero Princess Aurélie Laffitte de Atrein and her retinue stormed into the room. The Hero Princess pointed her blade at the Dark Lord on his throne.

 

“Dark Lord! I’ve finally found you!”

 

The Dark Lord let out a dark chuckle.

 

“Hello, Hero Princess. I’ve been expecting you.”

 

She began to walk down the room, a resolute look on her face and her sword at her side.

 

“I, Princess Aurélie Laffitte de Atrein. Supreme Commander of the Grand Alliance Army, Commander of the Royal Army of Atrein. Princess of the Atrein Kingdom, daughter of his Majesty the King. Chosen Hero of Ione, wielder of the Holy Blade Faithkeeper hereby…”

 

The Dark Lord grinned and rose from his throne.

 

“...offer my surrender.”

 

Princess Aurélie knelt before the throne, holding her blade above her hand with both heads.

 

The Dark Lord froze.

 

“...eh?”

 

Ser Emeline stepped forward, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a scroll with a sigh and unrolled it.

 

“That is, we offer to surrender according to the terms and conditions laid out in this contract regarding the treatment of the conquered peoples and the future administration of the Dark Lord’s empire, guaranteeing a continuation of present policies already in place within the lands under the Dark Lord’s command, such as we have observed them.”

 

“...what?”

 

“Terms including the free provision of food and rations, free educational facilities, security against monster attacks, the specified charter of rights and responsibilities of the citizenry, and local self-determination of government officials and laws besides those that conflict with the overall laws of the realm, as per the contract with Burnhaven.”

 

“Um…”

 

“In exchange, we will acknowledge the Dark Lord’s right to rule, and his authority over these lands and each and every person held within, and shall assist in the enforcement and administration of said rule, including all political, diplomatic, and military operations required to secure the official surrender of the current ruling parties of the signatories to the Grand Alliance treaty.”

 

“That is…”

 

Suddenly the Ancient Dragon walked into the room.

 

“Oh oh! This is my part right? I’m just supposed to witness this or whatever? Something something follow the contract and I’ll burn your country to the ground.”

 

General Grenuc’s minion heaved a sigh and whispered into the Ancient Dragon’s ear.

 

“What’s that? Huh, what does it matter? I-I didn’t say that, d-don’t be hasty, watch, I’ll do it right! Ahem, something something follow the contract OR I’ll burn your country to the ground. There. Happy now?”

 

“Um…what’s going on?”

 

There was a flash of light and Adoel appeared in the room. Her face scrunched up like she was chewing on something incredibly bitter, but eventually she heaved a sigh.

 

“...I speak as a servant of Most Holy Ione, with a message. Should the Dark Lord agree to this contract and uphold its terms, the heavens shall have no further dispute with him, and shall instruct the church to officially acknowledge his rule as rightful and proper.”

 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

 

“...provided…an addendum is made requiring that the Dark Lord make a special investment in the development of…confectioneries…”

 

The Ancient Dragon suddenly lifted her hand.

 

“I second that!”

 

“Um…”

 

General Grenuc rose and smiled.

 

“Isn’t that wonderful, my lord? All you need do is sign the contract, and the world will be yours.”

 

“T-That’s, um, well, I-I guess I could…take a look?”

 

The Dark Lord pretended to read the contract. To be honest, he didn’t understand most of it, but he nodded sanguinely as his dark stature demanded.

Well…it seemed fine?

It wasn’t…exactly how he imagined it but it seemed evil enough. He liked the part about him stripping the kings and nobility of some of their sacred rights. Kings and nobles having to follow the same laws as peasants and respect their lives, freedom, and individual property rights, how scandalous! And hah! Putting commoners and those weak scholars in charge of things they were good at?! Letting the peasants have a say on laws?! Forbidding the children from working, letting them laze about all day save for the brainwashing? That’s amazing! It was even more evil than he imagined!

 

He signed it.

 

“Congratulations, my lord. Soon all Eirorun will bow at your feet. All shall be as you will it.”

 

“Yes…all shall be…as I wanted…right?”

 

This was what he wanted, right?

 

And so the Dark Lord conquered the land and plunged Eirorun into a new age of darkness and shadow.

 

Darkness and shadow that contained a surprising amount of laughter and smiles among the common folk.

 

All because of a certain faceless minion.

 

---

 

Just after the Dark Lord had signed the contract the entire castle began to shake.

 

“What’s going on, what’s happening?”

 

Londibni turned to Adoel.

 

“I thought you said you got Ione’s permission!”

 

“I did! This isn’t us!”

 

They turned to the Ancient Dragon. She shrugged.

 

“Don’t look at me.”

 

Suddenly cracks began to form on the very air itself. The Ancient Dragon’s eyes widened.

 

“Something…is tearing through the very fabric of our reality.”

 

She shivered.

 

“Something powerful.”

 

Everyone glanced at each other.

 

“Something…stronger than me.”

 

Everyone’s eyes widened.

 

“Um…shouldn’t we…run or something?”

 

The Ancient Dragon shook her head.

 

“Whatever this is, it can break down the very walls of reality itself. It could destroy the entirety of Eiroron. There is nowhere to run.”

 

She glanced around.

 

“Right now, we have the Holy Hero, the Dark Lord, an angel of Ione, and myself, the Ancient Dragon. If we cannot stop it here, no one can, save for perhaps Ione herself.”

 

Everyone gulped and nodded. Princess Aurélie gripped her sword, her companions taking up positions behind her. The Dark Lord gulped and rose to his feet, shadows swirling around him. Londibni fell behind him, drawing her magic bow with her face drenched in sweat. Adoel raised her hands, her whole body glowing as she pulled up all of her holy power.

And a certain minion activated his concealment, taking stock of the potions in his inventory.

 

Everyone was silent, holding their breaths as the cracks continued to grow…