“…what you are seeing now is footage of the remnants of Gotham City from a GNN helicopter that was airborne at the time,” a female news anchor announced from the television, her voice shaking as areal footage panned over a plethora of destruction. It was as if God himself had taken a swipe at the city and ripped it from the Earth.
“AHAHAHAHAHA, wow, would you look at my handiwork! I’m sure that ugly city has never looked better,” Saitama snickered cruelly from his seat on a large, plush couch, a bowl of microwave popcorn in his hand as he watched the news. “I wonder if I killed that big bat. I mean, I should hope so, otherwise a lot of people just died for now reason heheheh.”
“Billionaire Bruce Wayne is confirmed to have survived, although his whereabouts are unknown,” the news anchor continued as footage switched to two figures who were moving rubble and helping rescuers on the ground. “As you can see here, Batman and Superman were some of the first heroes to arrive on the scene, where they are currently assisting ground crews in looking for survivors.”
“Awe poo, he lived!” the bald hero scoffed as he threw a mouthful of popcorn into his open mouth while he watched as a muscular man in a blue and red caped costume effortlessly lifted a massive slab of concrete above his head. “Huh, Superman eh? I’d like to meet that guy.”
“Among the dead are many well-known Gotham heroes and villains alike,” the woman continued to report. “This extensive list includes police commissioner Gordon, Nightwing, the Joker, the Riddler, Killer Croc, Penguin, Mr. Freeze, and Scarecrow.”
“Boohoo, let’s see more about that Superman guy,” Saitama sighed uncaringly as he continued munching his popcorn.
“W-who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?!” a man in a blue bathrobe stammered as he descended a staircase into the living room, flashlight in hand as he shone it on the relaxing, clown-faced hero.
“Oh, hey man, I was just borrowing your house to watch TV,” Saitama replied casually, before lifting the bowl in front of him. “Want some popcorn? I was just admiring my handiwork at Gotham city. They’re estimating that 95% of the population was wiped out, can you believe it? And it didn’t even kill Batman hehehehehe.”
“I-I’m calling the cops!” the man answered as he sped back upstairs. Sighing, Saitama stretched his back as he stood up, leisurely walking to the punched-in front door and continuing out to the yard with his hands in the pockets of his costume.
After destroying Gotham City with a single punch, the former-hero had eventually found a small country house a few towns over, and essentially invited himself inside. It was already mid-afternoon, and the clown-faced baldy was now famished and hankering for some lunch.
His ears detecting a fast-approaching object, Saitama turned to see a Basset hound running towards him from a nearby wooded area. Chuckling at the peculiar sight of the floppy-eared dog stumbling his way, the one punch man noted its peculiar light-green fur, which became more evident the closer it got.
“Heheheh here, doggy doggy!” Saitama called as he beckoned the creature with the same hand that had wiped out 8 million souls. To his surprise, the hound paused a few yards from him as it changed shape before his eyes. A second later, a young man with messy, dark green hair and who was dressed in a purple jean jacket stood before him. His green jeans ran down to purple loafers that matched his jacket, and the boy’s skin was a peculiar shade of green as well.
“Y-you bastard!” the stranger growled, his hands clenched into fists. “You’re the one who leveled Gotham, aren’t you?!”
“Who, me?” Saitama asked mockingly. “HAHAHAHA, what gave you that idea?”
“After working alongside Batman, Dick and I were on a team together back in the day,” the green-skinned man replied. “Eventually, he started fighting crime in Gotham as a hero called Nightwing, and I had to find out from Batman’s butler that YOU killed him!”
“Oh, yeah, I guess that was me, wasn’t it?” the bald hero giggled.
“Naturally, I made it to Gotham as fast as I could to find the bastard who killed him, only to learn that the city was wiped from the face of the Earth!” the man continued to growl as he changed shape again, becoming a towering grizzly bear. “Your scent was all over what was left of the place, so I was able to track you here to finish what I set out to do!”
“Oooohh that’s a cool power!” Saitama whistled as he looked up at the bear. “Hehehehe hey, what else can you turn into? I’m starving and could go for a good pork roast.”
“Bastard!!” the roaring animal replied as it swiped at the caped baldy with its claws. Saitama effortlessly hopped backwards just out of range of the blows, laughing as the swipes kept missing.
Ceasing his assault, the boy next transformed into a cheetah and ran at Saitama with blinding speed. Despite moving much faster, the animal was still hopeless at catching the caped hero as he kept vanishing from sight at the last second, laughing hard as he’d instantaneously appear across the yard.
“You’re pretty damn fast, what’s your deal?” the man asked as he next became a bald eagle and dove towards Saitama’s face, aiming specifically for his eyes.
“I’m just a guy who was a hero for fun, but now, I think I’m just looking for something to give me a good laugh,” the clown-faced hero snickered. “And who might you be?”
“You can call me Beast Boy, and villains like you are never going to get far in life!” the greenish bird answered as it missed Saitama’s bald head while the latter moved it at the last second. “God, I can’t tell if you’re the Joker and you’ve shaved your head, or if you’re just some bald fanatic of his.”
“Nice to meet you, Beast Boy, now do me the favor of turning into a nice juicy chicken or something,” Saitama replied as he watched the eagle fly around. “I’m going to continue what the Joker started, but become something bigger! I mean, could he destroy a city with a single punch?”
“Y-you did wha- ACK!”
Beast Boy was cut off as the bald hero abruptly shot into the sky and snatched his eagle body right out of the air.
“Never had eagle before,” Saitama shrugged as he obliterated the animal’s head in his fist. “But hey, I like fast food! HAHAHAHAHAH!”
Landing in the yard, the hero-turned-murderer grinned as he held the dispatched bird in his hand and worse yet- prepared to cook the unfortunate superhero named Beast Boy.
