– ◇ –

 

The peculiar sensation of something amiss was gradually pulling me through the layers of my senses.

It was like something urgent and, at the same time, something that surely could wait for this serenity to ooze away for one or two more minutes.

Like every snooze button ever.

But before I could wonder about the increasing sensitivity that surrounded me, I got drowned in… everything! 

My eyes involuntarily snapped open to the awfully bright sun, the loud rustling of leaves, the heat of my blood, and the cold air on my body!

Overwhelmed by approximately 4000% of everything, I inadvertently let out a sound that could only be described as a declaration of discontent.

Or just a cry — it depends.

The heck is this?!

And what was that high-pitched noise just now?

Did I do that?

Nah, impossible.

Hold on, just how sleep deprived am I?

Unable to withstand the intense strain on my senses any longer, I gave in and let myself drift away.

 

– ◇◇ –

 

When I woke up again, the conditions for sorting things out were a bit better.

Firstly, I eliminated the possibility that I was sleep deprived simply because I felt well rested. and hungry.

Since my thoughts were uninterrupted, let's start simply: what in the cabbage was going on?!

Looking around through narrowed eyes, I tried to figure out my surroundings.
It was abnormally hard because my vision was very fuzzy. Was it because of the accident?

I tried to move my body parts to see what worked and what didn't, but I noticed that my freedom of movement was restricted. Looking down at my body, I noticed that I was tightly packed in an enormous but comfy blanket.

Also important to me right now was that my movement did not go unnoticed.
Someone else also started to move. 

Slowly leaning into my field of vision, a young woman with light brown hair appeared.

Heya!

Who is this pretty woman gazing at me?

”Xx-x–xx–x--x?”

What is she saying? I thought.

My hearing was fine, although a bit muffled, so that wasn't it. I just didn't understand her. Did I lose my ability to recognize words?

It also seemed that something else had slipped my mind. My perspective was strangely distorted, so she appeared waaaay too big.

But my pondering was swiftly interrupted and replaced with shock from what came next!

She easily lifted me up, which was already confusing enough, but proceeded to expose her bosom and brought me closer.

Much to my own surprise, my body started reflexively to get fed.

This was awkward.

But here's the kicker: My body seemed to move on reflexes alone, so I was just tagging along for the ride and definitely not in control. My situation just got a whole lot more complicated.

While the only thing I could actively do was be confused, my very attentive nurse (?) proceeded to put me on her chest and gently placed a hand on my back.

So, it's not just my eyes that seemed to fool me! 

Oh, oh wow, I could hear her heartbeat clearly…

I wasn't expecting that. Well, any of this, really.

How very soothing.

This might,... as well,... be a good time for a nap…

 

– ◇◇◇ –

 

About two weeks have passed by.

I have gotten to a point where it has become routine for me to recite the current situation and spell it out for myself.

I was about 72% sure I was reincarnated.

That was a joke.

I had become a baby with my past memories intact.

With that also came the brutal and unpleasant realization that I was, once again, a completely and utterly dependent parasite for years to come.
Ah, the memories...

Speaking of memories, why did I keep all my memories?

Nice safe, me.

The answer to this delusion was, of course, unknown.

It was hard to remember things you didn't remember, duh, but so far, everything seemed to be there and was coherent. Not that I had a way to double check it all.

Anyway, this wasn't a bad thing for the most part, I guess. Except maybe for tampered memories by someone else.

Also, was it safe to assume that a newborn baby's brain could really hold this many memories and experiences, or would they fade away quickly? Would this backfire somehow? I could not grasp any kind of concept behind this, which was exhausting.

So let's start with what I know so far. 

Regarding death, I believed that it was never really final. We would gain a key by only losing the memory of the moment that made us truly feel alive. With that key in hand, we would open a new door, and behind it, we would meet ourselves, waiting for us.

I entertained the idea (or rather, the wish) that there was something like a reward-afterlife for a life-well-done, which manifested in giving you whatever you wanted it to be, but with defining elements being the ones that would complement your experience. 

These elements, even being abstract impressions, would explain why something in your life has happened the way it has happened to give your soul closure.

And when you were done with sorting things out, you could just hop into a fresh cycle as a balanced soul.

But this wasn't it!

Next Issue: I now knew why babies cried so much: it was stressful!

There was rarely anything of comfort; it was either too warm or too cold, too noisy, too quiet, too bright, too dark, too wet, too dry, and you could feel your body growing!

It was super uncomfortable!

And the fact that I was conscious of it did not help one bit!

Plus, it was not even my body!

Well, it was my body and I was gaining more and more control over it with every passing day, but still.

It was hard to explain, but it felt like I was replacing a whole-body-numbness by stretching out my ”body awareness”, each time a little further than the last. Something like paralysis but not paralysis?

I knew and saw that it was there, but I only felt like 1/5? But I was getting there, so I had that going for me.

Other than that, one might have already guessed what my daily routine looked like.

Right, it was: wake up, eat, get changed, move my body, sleep. Repeat.

Luckily, whenever something bothered me, all I needed to do was whine, and I was taken care of. This was a piece of cake.

Next on the list were my caretakers.

The first and last person I saw daily was my new mother.

But after a few days, someone else was also taking care of me every so often by holding me, talking to me or lulling me to sleep. This would be my new father.

Because of my outstanding detective abilities, I could fairly easily determine that he had to be my father – who else besides my mother would hold me tightly and cuddle skin to skin?

And I have to say, they seemed to be a good match.

She had a pretty, serene face, downturned eyes with a mark under her left eye, always wore a calm expression, and listening to her voice was comforting. The gentle, yet attentive way she moved gave the idea that she wasn't exactly new to this. All in all, she appeared to be an easy-going and reliable person. 

My new dad was also very attractive: a sociable guy sporting a man bun, a defined jawline that could use some fat, deep set eyes and a bit of a stern expression. He had to be a merry guy too, because my mom giggled a lot when he was around, and by the heavens, it was getting contagious.

There was also a very pressing detail that they both shared that I didn't notice until just recently, because I was too busy with my own thoughts: besides both having the same challenge-radiating eyes that downright dared you to lie, they also featured a set of pointy, long ears!

I had to admit that this was quite intriguing, but at the same time, it left me skeptical about what to make of this. Furthermore, the fact that I could hardly recognize the language and that any signs of modern technology were absent was shifting the lights on a different kind of reality…

So, rather than wondering what century I'd landed in, I think I should assume this was some kind of fantasy world.

And this was the part that always made me anxious! Because I was a fragile baby! And if these tidbits of information indicated that this was a younger era, such as the Medieval, then my odds were bleak!

Best-case scenario: I was a healthy and growing baby, and I prayed I wouldn't get ill.

Worst-case scenario: let's better not think about that right now…

To at least give this a shot, I had to come up with something, anything.

Honestly, there wasn't much I could do to raise my chances of survival, save for two things: 

Firstly, don't ever piss off my new parents! Even though they appeared trustworthy, I could not bet everything (my life!) on one card.

Secondly, start roleplaying to not raise suspicion. When I looked like a healthy baby, I had to play the part, too.

And with the first major decisions made in my new life, I began to gurgle.

 

– ◇◇◇◇ –

 

Another seven months went by.

Fantastic news!

I mercilessly babbled my way through every situation I encountered, and 80% of the time, it worked every time!

I also came to realize that not a single soul in this world expected a baby to take responsibility for anything!

This may look like a minor and obvious detail, yet it altered my perspective on this fresh beginning in no small part. It also made me realize that I may have set the bar a little too high–expecting mature behavior from an infant, how absurd, haha.

I could also see a bit of irony in this.

In my past life, I ended up stressing about everything, even the smallest things.
Friends would sometimes say well-meant but unhelpful things like, ”Don't stress about the things you can't control, dude,” to which I would usually reply, ”but I AM stressing about it right now, dude!”

But now, even if I wanted to change anything, it would come down to me being in a definite state of inability. I'm virtually incapable of losing my mind.

Anywho, It was going well, so I would keep at it.

In these past months, I have gained complete control over my body and regained complete sight and hearing. I could also happily confirm that this body was in pristine condition—bliss! I only needed to develop it further. 

I also identified the living conditions we were in: it was a horse-drawn caravan. Luckily, I got used to the swaying rather quickly. Sleeping all the time also helped a lot, so no problem on that front.

It begged the question of why you had to give birth to me on the road, but hey. 

Back to the caravan: It consisted of multiple horses and four big carriages packed with people, wares, and equipment, which led me to believe that we were likely on a trading expedition of sorts.

Yeah, as it turned out, our little happy family was actually a big happy family.

Referring to this group of people as a "big family" was a euphemism that became more and more fitting, because they might not be related by blood, but they sure were more than friends. Sure, the familiarity they showed around each other hinted at a long history, but I was more talking about the smooching. Everyone was with everyone to some degree, which led to an interesting and unbound dynamic.

This was also where my blanket came in, which in actuality was more of a self-made sling to fulfill both purposes of carrying me around without constantly holding me and keeping me warm and safe. It was also easier to hand me over to others to look after me.

The days on our way to our unknown destination were, of course, spent in or around the carriages, with two stops per day. When the sun was about to set, we would come to a halt and set up camp.

We rarely stopped for more than a day, the exceptions being small trading spots and the one time that we got close to a big city with an awe-inspiring wall. Unfortunately, we stayed outside of it and I didn't get to see much.

During the day, I would either sleep, touch stuff, or crawl around and babble my parents' long ears off, and they would then happily proceed to come up with their own stories to tell or babble right back at me—it was fun.

From time to time, I would even ride in one of the other carriages for a couple of hours and be entertained by whomever I was with.

The most interactive time came at nightfall. The horses were fed, damage was repaired, and a fire was lit, over which food was being made. After everyone's bellies were full, they started to relax and chat. This was also my favorite time of the day because of two aspects:

The first was my appearance.

In short, I was bringing the house down! Everyone loved to orbit around me and join in on the fun that almost entirely consisted of me cracking up!

I would coo and gurgle, and every ”bwuh!” or ”blab blubb liub pplplppp” would conjure smiles and laughter. Whenever someone was having a giggle, I had to laugh too, which in turn would make them crack up! Honestly, it was a death spiral.

And who could resist the laughter of a baby? Not me, that was for sure!

It was hilarious!

It was a very welcome change from my past life. and surprisingly easy, too.
The second aspect was learning something new.

I acted naturally as best as I could and listened in on the conversations.

I observed that there were actually two languages being spoken. One was spoken internally by the whole group and reminded me of French in some characteristics, but with a bigger twist to it.

As a European, I should be able to manage this.

The other language was only used with outsiders, and not everyone was fluent in it. The only opportunity I had to hear more of this language was when Brand read to me.

Brand was a giant of a man who emitted a frightening amount of heat that had to have a corresponding amount of muscles. He was by far the heartiest eater of everyone here. Who would have guessed, right?

Despite looking dangerous, he was actually quite brutal, too. At least when it came to chopping wood.

Jokes aside — Yes, I found him extremely intimidating at first, but was quick to change my mind. He handled me with great care and delighted in reading to me, especially since I had yet to cry, fall asleep or interrupt him.

His precious belonging he read from seemed to be a collection of religious texts with the name of “Millis”. I wondered if he was actually called Father Brand? He was also one of the few that didn't make out with the others and I believe that had to do with his religion.

He prefered reading to me from across, hunched over his book. but before he would start he would always check on me first - one last glance to make sure I was alright, before he lost himself in the significance it held to him.

There was essentially nothing to learn for me by just listening. It didn't make sense or convey meaning to me except when he kept me strapped around his chest in my sling. In these cases, I could hear and read the words at the same time. Still, no meaning, but I slowly learned a few words and their pronunciation.

The bigger takeaway was that it made him happy, and that's what mattered.

Tonight was one of those warm nights where he read to me, except that I wasn't the only listener.

My impromptu pillow, named Grizzly, had joined us, too. 

Grizzly was a grumpy monster of a dog in a constantly bad mood. At least that was what his face was telling me. This dude had brown-gray-shaded short, rough fur that probably made it a commitment-test if you wanted to pet him.

And if you would tell me that Grizzly and Brand liked to hunt bears for breakfast, I would believe you.

At some point Grizzly had come over and had planted himself around me and that's all to it. It was a good exercise for my heart.

”...Let us offer our gratitude and prayers.” Brand finished his reading for the day, and carefully closed his book and put it back into his bag.

He followed up with a silent minute of prayer and then looked at us for a moment, as if he had just realized that Grizzly was here. Sluggishly, he rose to his feet, went over to me and picked me carefully up.

”Let's go over to your ma and da, hm, little one,” he said slowly in a deep, raspy voice, and began to move, with Grizzly to his right.

We returned to the campfire, which was in the middle of a semicircle of wagons, and were promptly greeted by Father, who was in a good mood. I could already guess why that was.

”Taking the second night shift, Irhaal?” Brand asked, to which he replied, ”That's right. Although I should be glad about it, I don't really trust it if it's too peaceful. You know what I mean.”

Brand nodded at his question with a sideways glance at Grizzly.

This was the perfect time for me to coo in to greet my father with a tired gurgle.

”It is indeed time for you to go to bed. Thanks, Brand, let me take it from here,” my father said to Brand and took me in his arms, “hey there, were you enjoying yourself, hm? Oh, and Channy was looking for you; something about the last carriage.” he then added, looking at Brand. ”Hm. Later,” Brand answered in his usual short way and got going.

”Dear, I've got a present for you! It's a mini-me!” My father quipped and introduced me for the 30th time to my mother, whose full name was Salihn, who smiled tiredly and took me.

With one last sleepy laugh on my part, I sent my father off to his night watch, and my mom and I fell asleep while cuddling shortly after.