“No no no no no, look, I understand your opinion, but it’s just objectively wrong.” 

“YOU’RE objectively wrong! What did she do to make you so much head over heels for her?!”

“I should be the one asking what she did to you, that you hate her so much?”

“C’mon, it’s obvious! She’s just a whiney bitch that can’t get anything done by herself!”

“And that’s why she’s the perfect girl to protect and take care of.”

“And that’s coming from a guy that admitted he wanted to tie her to the bed and do god-knows what to that poor girl.”

“...I most certainly would like that very much, indeed.”

“There we go again…”

“You’re not a saint either, don’t tell me you wouldn't fancy that?”

“Well…”

“Ha, gotcha.”

“Shut up!”

The rain has come to a halt completely and the sky’s become clear and packed with stars again. Even though we were now free to depart from the lost and forgotten shrine in the middle of nowhere, me and Mai were too engaged in a serious conversation to realize - We were completely absorbed in creating a tier list of waifu’s from RabuGaku… Yea, get a load of those two, lost in a forest, completely alone… and arguing about fictional characters. It turned out that we had a lot in common, mainly Rika as the top of the top SSS tier character, but were also on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to a big portion of the remaining cast.

“Okay, so?” Mai asked.

“So?”

“Jesus… What tier do we put her in?” She was clearly annoyed at me spacing out for a moment there.

“Since she’s A for me and D for you, let’s just put her in C, there’s no point in arguing anymore.”

“Eh, fine… So next is…” Since there was no reception, nor access to reliable internet connection, Mai was browsing the character select screen in the offline version of ‘Rabu Rabu Gakusen SUPER Mobile Edition X’ on her smartphone. “Huh. That’s all.”

“Wait, really?”

“It seems so. At least those were all the characters from this version”

“Huh…”

“Yea…”

“Did we really just spend like half an hour ranking characters from a game instead of finding our way back?” I ask a rhetorical question, both proud and disgusted in ourselves

“We totally did. What, you wanna tell me it wasn’t fun?” In those 30 minutes or so, Mai’s personality took on a new flavour. She still was an annoying, loud and obnoxious brat, but was clearly feeling more confident and at ease, which I guess overall was a good thing, considering the future of our forced alliance.

“I might’ve decided to give up the otaku part of me, but that was well before this Isekai bullshit. I’m ready to once again become the worst possible version of myself.” I stood up and pushed out my chest like the proud degenerate I was.

“Pfff, fuckin’moron. Once the anime takes over your mind, there’s no going back.”

“A beautiful quote. Who did you steal it from, Gigguk?”

“Nope, Mayo-nee sama~”

“As expected from her majesty, The Queen of Oil and Egg… Didn’t you think of changing that daisy clip to an egg-shaped one? It’d fit better thematically to your character.”

“What an egg-celent idea. Really cracked me up.”

“Jesus Christ, that was terrible.”

“Shut up, ya wanker! You started it!”

“And I regret doing so greatly.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Her insults haven’t toned down one bit, but she was now throwing them with a playful smile smeared across her face. I couldn’t help but grin as well.

Once we’ve broken the metaphorical wall that was separating us from the beginning, it turned out we were surprisingly compatible with each other. Our conversation was smooth, with a solid portion of inside jokes about the characters and making fun of each other’s taste neatly sprinkled in for good measure. Our dialogue had this weird flow to it, that felt anything but forced. All I wished for was that one day I’d be able to talk carefreely about anime like this with…

*crack*

A sound from somewhere in the nearby bushes derailed the train of my thoughts and made my heart skip a bit. Mai also jumped up lightly. There were no raindrops banging on the rooftop, the leaves or the ground to cover the crackly sound up, as it broke the ambient silence abruptly. 

“...There!” After a second, Mai noticed something moving and pointed in that direction. The bushes were still shaking and giving off a faint glow that was getting stronger and stronger. The sound of broken sticks and leaves brushing against each other also was intensifying, and then, all of a sudden, something… fell out of the bushes. Literally. As an unidentified humanoid figure was about to make its way out of the thicket, it toppled over anticlimactically. My and Mai’s eyes were glued to the bizarre creature. Only after it managed to stand up, have we recognized the mysterious being.

“Saki!” I shouted involuntarily. 

It was her without a doubt, but… She was entirely covered in mud. From her head to her toes, specs of (hopefully) mud were coating her torn clothes and exposed skin. Even from this distance I could tell she was in terrible shape, both physically and mentally.

“Hi-”

“HEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”. Before Saki could even properly shout back to me, a certain someone dashed at me with speed that felt super-human. And soon after, Hayato, with a force reminiscent of his previous-worldly muscle mass, smashed into me like I was a rugby training dummy. By some sort of miracle, or providence of the gods enshrined within these grounds, I withstood the blow without falling over… Or maybe it was just thanks to my shoes getting stuck in the freshly hydrated dirt. “THAT GUY IS FREAKING CRAZY, WHY DID I HAVE TO GO WITH HIIIiiIIiiiiM?!” His voice cracked a bit at the end. At first I wasn’t sure who he was talking about, but at that moment I saw another figure making its way out of the bushes. 

“My my, that was truly a valuable experience, wasn’t it, Oogawa-kun?” The Virtuous one of the Harem Club corrected his glasses that reflected the moonlight as if they were giving off light themselves. Since Hiyaoka didn’t agree to be in one pair with Hayato (surprise, surprise), he was all we had left… And it seems that it caused Hayato a lifetime of trauma for some reason.

“AAAAAH, LEAVE ME ALONE, FREAK! Hero, help! That guy was talking about… little kids, goddamnit! He’s crazy!!!” Hayato said with his face glued to my chest. The Harem Club member joined us by the shrine in the meantime.

“Anime little girls, to be exact, Oogawa-kun, please don’t put words in my mouth.” He explained calmly.

“AS IF THAT MADE IT ANY BETTER!!!” I swear, I’m gonna go deaf if that continues. I was just standing there, still holding Hayato in my arms for some reason, while the two of them continued to argue whether or not loli hentai is morally acceptable. For my own good, I settled on not taking sides in this conversation. I quickly looked to my side, where Mai should've been standing. She was indeed there, but with her eyes cast down, not saying a word. She must’ve felt overwhelmed by the sudden visitors. Now that I confirmed she isn’t really fond of people, all of her typical behaviour falls right into place…

“Please excuse my tactless remark, but how in the world did the two of you end up here? Were you too stupid to follow the one and only path there was?” The monotonous tone plus the message were enough for me to realize that our School Council Vice President - Rin Hiyaoka was also part of the expedition that ran into us. She was kind enough to pick Saki up from the ground and bring her along. Though only Saki was covered in mud…

“You’re alright, Saki?” I allow myself to disregard Hiyaoka for a second.

“Yea, more or less… I'm glad we finally found you…” She was exhausted, as expected, but smiled honestly nonetheless.”

“Answer the question, please.” Rin cut in.

“Well, let’s just say I got kinda lost and ended up running into Mai, who also didn’t know where to go.”

“...” Instead of saying anything, she looked at me and Mai with a fed up expression. “Anyway, you should be thankful that I found everyone. And that I had 3 spare umbrellas on hand.” …Who carries 4 umbrellas at once with themselves? Though she’s right. She found Saki, who I left behind in the middle of the dark forest, and then met up with Hayato and his pairmate.

“Yea, thanks. And thanks for finding us… How did you know where we’d be?”

“Based on what Mikazuki-san told me, I figured you might’ve taken this route. The Student Council investigated this forest thoroughly, so I knew where the shrine was.”

“Fair enough.”

“Wait…” Saki cut in all of a sudden. “Is this… that abandoned shrine where you… confess to the person you love…?”

“It is.” Hiyaoka answered quickly. “And although we investigated the forest precisely in order to make sure nobody gets lost, here you two are.” As savage as always, Hiyaoka was. But I couldn’t just tell her that I ran away from Saki because I saw a ghost. And speaking of which…

“...” Saki was staring at Mai with distrustful eyes. She was also pouting slightly, which honestly was adorable, but I knew something was up.”

“...Wh-what?” Mai noticed Saki’s gaze at last.”

“Ah, no… nothing…” She broke out of her trance and directed her sight to the ground again.

“Heeee, did someone get jealous~?” Hayato tried to tease her a bit, though that could’ve very well been the case here.

“Wh-what could I possibly be jealous of??” Saki snapped back.

“Isn’t that obvious~? When you heard about the shrine, you made a resolution to come here with Hero, and now he’s here with Mai-chan~”

“T-that’s not it! Stop imagining stuff!” Wow. A tsundere-looking Saki, acting like a proper tsundere. Nice.

*flash*

“Ouch!”

“AAAAH, MY EYEEES!”

“Quit arguing, please, we have to go. It’s late.” Hiyaoka decided to put an end to the quarrel by blinding Saki and Hayato with her old-school camera’s flash.

“Okay, sorry…”

“Haaaa~i.”

“Let us depart then.” The two of them, plus the Virtuous, agreed with Hiyaoka. I once again looked in Mai’s direction. This time however, our eyes met. She wasn’t scared or annoyed, but sort of sad. Though she made sure not to let it show too much. Was that because she was tired and wanted to go back to her room, or because she wanted to spend some more time offending each other's taste, I couldn’t tell. But then, suddenly the sulking expression got overwritten by a light, gentle smile.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, let’s go!” She said as if she was in high spirits all along. I was quite dumbfounded and my mind couldn’t process her reaction at first. As she walked past me, to join the group, a faint but sincere ‘Thanks’ reached my ears.

As we were to depart from the shrine grounds however, once again, something started moving in the bushes. This time, it seemed like something much, much bigger than a highschooler.

“Wh-what was that???” Hayato panicked.

“Fear not, fair maiden, for I am here to protect you!” The Virtuous jumped up to Hayato in a flash. I think he’s still yet to realize Hayato has a penis.

“THEN WHO’LL PROTECT ME FROM YOURSELF???”

“Hiro…” Saki grabbed my hand.

The hum of the bushes turned to rumble and some unidentified voice screamed in distress. A bear? A boar? Maybe another ghost thingy? Or the gods got angry about me and Mai talking about waifus? I couldn’t tell which was less probable. 

All of us stood with our backs turned to each other and formed a defensive structure without even realizing. As the mysterious sounds were getting more and more vicious…

“UHGGHGHHHH, WHERRE DA HELL AM I… Oooo, a Leccinum scabrum… and a Leccinum aurantiacum right next to it! Rare thing…” 

“...” None of us uttered a word… The ‘thing’ from the bushes was none other than Yanus-sensei. Holding a wicker basket full of various mushrooms. I swear, this scene must’ve been some sort of a bizarre reference only a very specific group of people would get.

“I wasn’t wrong when I thought some wild animal was after us.” Hiyaoka spoke up, clearly happy that she could indulge in her favourite hobby of dissing our school’s PE teacher for no apparent reason whatsoever… Though I suppose she does that to everyone.

“Oh, there ya arr, what a coincidence. I was just mushroom pickin’. A late summerr forest is like de garden of Eden for a mushroom enthusiast.” Yanus-sensei explained as if he wasn’t even lost. 

“Why aren’t you in the ryokan? Weren’t you supposed to be counting students returning from the test?”

“Yea, yea…”

“Then please leave those fungi and head straight to the inn. You should know the way by now.” Girl’s got no chill.

“Hmfhfffhmfhf…” Yanus-sensei mumbled something incoherent but obeyed the request in the end, and headed along a narrow path that was stretching nearby. Saki, Hayato, Mai and The Virtuous, after a moment of hesitation, followed him into the woods. I remained still and took one more glance at the shrine.

Ever since me and Mai have found it, a strange feeling has been building up inside me. A feeling of familiarity. Even though I didn’t recognize the shrine at all, it felt welcoming. The rain made the air cold, but in spite of it, the shrine seemed to be emitting a pleasing sense of warmth. There was something special about this place. And I don’t think that it was the whole ‘confess to your love and be forever together’ thing. That just wasn’t it… I couldn’t get my head around this weird feeling. Looking at the shrine made me feel happy, but sad at the same time. It was beautiful even though long abandoned and dilapidated. One could but imagine what it used to look like in its prime. And even though… Deep down I felt like I knew exactly what it was like when it was flourishing. With the eyes of my imagination I could see all the visitors, the priests, the maidens… All the lights and performances. In my mind, this place seemed alive, though I knew very well that it was only a mirage.

A soft sound of a picture being taken, brought me back to reality. I didn’t notice her until now, but Hiyaoka was standing next to me, also mesmerized by the shrine. Was she also feeling a strange bond with this place? And if so, could that confirm that she was like us? Brought from a different world, having some weird flashback-like experiences? Oh yea, this time there definitely is some neat foreshadowing going on.

Hiyaoka took a picture of the area and although her face seemed to have the usual expression devoid of emotions, upon closer look I could tell she was in a similar state as me. Not quite sad, not quite happy. As if longing for something lost a long time ago… 

 

She was... Vibrant yet cold. Just like…

 

“We should also get going, Sekuhara.”

“...Ah, yea, right, sorry. I spaced out a bit.”

“...” Uncharacteristically for her, she didn’t comment on my answer sarcastically. Nor did I engage in a conversation about what she felt right now myself.

“Oi! You’re comin’ or what??” A complaiuning voice reached us from behind the trees. It was Mai, peeking out back in our direction, who wanted us to hurry up. 

“Let’s go.” Hiyaoka concluded.

“Yea… Wait.”

“What is it this time?”

“Where’s Kaichou?”

 

…

 

It was around midnight when our group of 7 finally reached the ryokan. Kanazaki-kaichou, as if she heard the question I’d asked when departing from the shrine, had been waiting for us in front of the ryokan and welcomed us with a smile of relief. As to why she abandoned the kimodameshi in the middle, I didn’t know.

 Even though it was way past the students’ bedtime, Kaichou was kind enough to let us stay up and… You guessed it, if you read the title of the chapter… Use the ryokan’s private hot springs. 

Me and Hayato were currently the only people in the mens’ onsen as all the other male students were probably fast asleep by now. It was a beautiful outdoor spring filled with the hum of flowing water and rhythmical dull sounds of the souzu bamboo fountain hitting the rocks as water overflew it again and again. The hot water mixing with the chilly mountain air was creating a mist of steam, complementing the classic charm of a light novel’s hot springs scene. 

Both me and Hayato sat on the edge of the main spring, wearing nothing but towels tied around our hips… That wording might’ve been better, I admit.

Even though the atmosphere was incredibly soothing, there was still one thing that was bothering me.

“Hmmm…”

“He-Hero? Why are you staring at me like that…?”

“Hmmmmmmm…”

“Cut it out, you’re freaking me out!” Hayato covered his non-existent man boobs with a non-existent towel, like he was a shy girl on the beach.

“Hmmm… I know you’ve been like this for a while, but I still can’t get used to you being so… feminine?”

“What are you saying, I’ve always had a delicate maiden’s heart~”

“That’s not what I meant.” I examined his body from the top to the bottom once again. “Yup, you without absurd muscles just isn’t ‘you’ to me.”

“How rude! You know what? I’m glad I’m now just a cute little femboy. The muscles were annoying at times, and now I can try all kinds of adorable clothes and stuff~” The worst part is, this girly style suits him bizarrely well. To the point I sometimes question my tastes. I honestly started to feel a bit uncomfortable sharing a bath with him. I decided to lower myself into the water to hide my… embarrassment.

“Aaaah yes, that’s the stuff.” I accidentally let out a gross moan as the warm water embraced my body.

“Hot springs are the best~”

“Yea… But the day isn’t over yet. We still have work to do.”

“Huuuuh? Why, let’s just relax… We can do the events tomorrow…” He was also giving in to the lovely sensation provided by the water flowing from deep inside Mother Earth… Okay, this time the wording definitely could’ve been a lot better. 

“It’s the last night of the trip, idiot.”

“Heeey, don’t call me nameeees~” With his eyes closed and mouth making a cat-like ‘3’ shape, he said with a calm and sleepy voice. I took a deep breath of the humid air and admired the water for a second, before continuing.

“Anyway, I don’t want this day to repeat. It was too exhausting, no way I’m doing all this again. So yea, we have to do the Hot Springs Scene™ correctly too.”

“Mmmm, and what are we supposed to do in this scene?~”

“...” The rules of harem rom-coms are absolute. And although I didn’t want to betray the trust of my girlfriend and other possible allies, the act of ultimate degeneracy had to be fulfilled in order for us to clear this event and thus, the whole ‘School Trip Arc™’. I was to once again put my reputation at stake. After another deep breath, I got up from the water and walked up to the thin, but tall wooden partition, separating the mens’ and ladies’ sections of the onsen. 

“...Knew it.” As expected, upon closer inspection, I stumbled across a very conveniently placed hole between the planks making up the wall. When I put my eye to it, I saw empty, yet equally beautiful hot spring. Every nook and cranny of it was easily visible through that one little hole. As if someone drilled it with the exact intention of peeping at naked girls. What a legend that someone was.

“Heroooo, it’s not cool to peep at the girls, come back to meeee.” Hayato, with his mind completely captivated by the geothermal vapour, clearly had no intention of leaving his newly established lair, nor did he support the idea of spying on the girls. The girls, which…

“...They’re still not here.” I mumbled to myself, but apparently the steam made Hayato’s ears pickup sounds like he was a gender-confused bat.

“I heard Yuuri-kaichou telling the others to wait for her and Rin-chan for a bit… Ah, Rin-chaaaaaaan, why are you so so so soooo cute~” …He’s a lost cause. Though that info was very useful to me. 

“Okay, gotta go. Make sure to peep through the hole once in a while.” I said as I adjusted my towel and headed for the exit.

“Okaaaaay~ …Wait, what?”

“Something wrong?”

“Yea, where do you think you’re going?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” As I was about to open the sliding door leading back to the inn, I turned back to him with a devilish smile and looked suggestively in the direction of the ladies’ part of the onsen.

“Don’t tell me you want to go in there?! There was nothing about it in your notes!” He regained his senses all of a sudden, and was referring to the piece of paper on which I’d written down all the major plot points of the field trip in a ‘to do list' manner. But he was right. I’d only written ‘Hot springs’, nothing more. The reason was very simple.

“...You think the girls would agree to this?”

“...”

“Exactly. See you on the other side.” I leave with a cool-ass line that was both a literal statement and a metaphor foreshadowing my fate. I knew very well that no merry thing was awaiting me behind the wall. Yet I still gathered the resolve and walked onwards. Only to meet the inevitable. To sacrifice my soul, body, and all the remains of common sense I still had left in me. Unlike the failed MCs of all my favourite school-harem anime and novels, I did not find myself in the girls’ hot springs by accident. I made the conscious choice of breaking into the forbidden land myself, for I was a man of commitment, that had a mission to fulfill. It was my time to make my animated predecessors proud. And possibly disgusted.

“Hero!” Hayato stood up dramatically before I left.

“What is it?”

“...Hang in there.” A farewell coming straight from the bottom of the heart of my dear comrade…

“...Hmpf.” I smirked. “I’m the Protagonist™… Of course I will.” With those parting words, I left the worried, but strangely proud Hayato behind in the mens’ onsen. From this point onward, I was on my own. Saki… I’m sorry.