19e. The Meaning Of Life
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Richard chuckled to himself. “Then what’s the meaning of life? Seems like there wouldn’t be one.”

“Not at all,” Eustace assured. “There’s a very important meaning to life. And if you think about it, you’ll realize it can only be one thing, and once again, you’ll feel like an idiot.”

“I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately,” Richard admitted. “Go ahead; hit me.”

“The meaning of life,” Eustace intoned, “is to provide experiences for The One.”

“Huh?”

“An omnipotent being can’t have experiences; those would have to be relative to something,” Eustace explained. “So he created existence, to provide a playing field. He gave it firm but complex rules, to level the playing field. He created many separate, contracted beings, all made with a sliver of his own presence. He threw them into existence, with no memories and no understanding of creation. And as his final act, he committed himself fully to the game he created. And now we are all here, doing what we can, as he experiences all of us, and everything, simultaneously.”

Richard took a moment to let that sink in. “But then, from one viewpoint, there is no God, because God has become us, and no longer exists as a singular presence.”

“That’s correct,” Eustace revealed. “God’s eventual purpose in this game is to reunify, to become one again. And some people dedicate their lives to this goal; they meditate, they study, they strive to rejoin the whole. And that’s fine. Some people choose to live within existence and experience it, making their own decisions and trying out their own ideas. And that’s fine, too.”

“So everything is fine with God?” Richard sputtered. “Does that mean there’s no basis for morality?”

“Not at all,” Eustace clarified. “We’re here to work out the basis of morality ourselves. Some see it in service to others; some see it in service to self. Some form horrible war machines, go bananas, and slaughter millions. Others band together to stop these psychopaths, and form firm institutions to try to ensure nothing like that happens ever again. And sometimes these institutions become corrupt and cause the very problem they were intended to stop, and another effort must be mounted to form a better institution on the ashes of the previous one. We have to discover the basis of morality ourselves, and prove it by demonstrating the worth of our ideas.”

Richard looked uncomfortable for several seconds. “I guess that’s obvious in retrospect, too,” he admitted, “but it’s a lot more unsettling.”

“Not really,” Eustace countered. “It just means we have to work at it. We can’t slack off and expect others to make our life wonderful. And it’s why the battle between good and evil is one of the most common themes in our stories – because it’s the big unresolved conflict of existence. That story’s end hasn’t been written.”

Richard’s eyes suddenly shot open wide. “And that’s the problem with conventional, faith-based religion! It says we just have to believe in our salvation, and we’ll receive rewards in a world beyond this one!” He suddenly got the chills. “I never realized this before, but that might be the single most evil idea I’ve ever heard in my life! People that believe it willingly become slaves, expecting no reward in their life, promised something that may not even exist!”

Eustace moved his hand in a flourish. “The monsignor reached that conclusion, and it nearly broke him. Your response is much healthier!”

Richard’s head swam with the implications. “So what do we do about it?”

“I think you’re doing a fine job with it already,” Eustace complimented. “You seek out villains, right wrongs, and bring evildoers to justice! You are the personal manifestation of higher morality! Your example serves as an inspiration to anyone that might choose to do what’s right, and as a warning to those who may wish to do wrong. You are literally the sort of person God hoped to bring into being.”

“I’m not sure I want to take that much responsibility,” Richard joked. “I’m just one guy.”

“One guy, and an idea, can change history,” Eustace declared. “Think of it this way…you could have done anything with your life…in line with your own talents and abilities, of course. But what inspired you to become a private detective?”

Richard pondered that for a moment. “This is going to sound silly, but it was all my childhood heroes on TV. Cowboys, firefighters, police, John Wayne…” He smiled to himself. “John Wayne’s example really inspired me.” He suddenly turned to Eustace. “Oh…I see what you mean now.”

“And John Wayne, and all your other heroes, were steppingstones to what you became, and now you serve as an inspiring example to others. Even if you don’t realize it, everyone you meet, everyone whose life you make better, is inspired by your example, and moves that much closer to working for a moral existence, one with a solid foundation, and hordes willing to struggle and fight for it.”

“Wow…thanks,” Richard gushed. “You’ve given purpose to my life.”

“You already had a purpose,” Eustace corrected. “All I did was point it out to you.”

Richard smiled. “And that’s your purpose!”

Eustace smiled back. “I love my job.”

Richard pondered all the new ideas for a moment, then his brow wrinkled. “So, on a more practical note…what do you think about Kelly? She was apparently possessed, and now she’s been declared legally insane, not responsible for her own actions.”

Eustace sighed. “I can’t possibly unravel all of that, not without talking to her personally. But I can sketch a broad outline.”

“I’d be grateful for that,” Richard assured. “I’m pretty torn up about it. She saved my life recently, then I put her into detention. Prison or loony bin, she’s still detained. I feel awful about it, even though I know I had no choice.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Eustace advised. “Bad people can still do good things. What you need to realize here is…despite Kelly’s obvious possession by an outsider…she’s probably not totally innocent in all this.”

“What do you mean?” Richard asked.

Eustace sighed. “Possession isn’t like it’s shown in the movies. In my experience, it’s not an overwhelming, forceful invasion; that would make the possession too unstable. Most of the time, it only works if the possessed and the possessor have a lot in common. It’s very much the same as making a friend, except that they’re sharing your body. So although Kelly has been deemed insane and committed to a mental institution, there’s a good chance she’s largely responsible for what happened.”

Richard paused for a moment. “So what should I do about that?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“For the simple reason that you’re no longer being paid to work on the case. You can’t solve everyone’s problems, you know. That’s how you end up utterly burned out. Choose your battles. And right now, in the context of the game and the playing field, you need to get paid in order to live. No one can blame you for that.”

As Eustace spoke, Richard began staring toward the street at a group of three pedestrians, eating as they walked; one of them looked familiar. “Did you just hear a word I said?” Eustace protested.

“Can you excuse me for a moment?” Richard asked, suddenly standing up, his eyes fixed on the street.

Eustace followed his gaze and smirked. “Aren’t they a little young for you?”

“You old sleazeball,” Richard teased as he broke into a jog.

“Flattery will get you everywhere!” he crowed.

Richard caught up with the pedestrians. “Excuse me!” he said.

They turned around; one saw Richard and lit up. “Oh…it’s you!” She turned to her friends. “This is the guy I was telling you about! The one that saved me that night, at the Beat Street Lounge!”

As her friends gushed, the former street urchin gave Richard a big hug. He hugged her back politely. She released him and gave him a beaming smile.

“Thanks to you, I’m doing a lot better now,” she revealed. “But I’ve felt guilty ever since. If there’s anything I can do to return the favor, just ask.”

“Actually, that’s why I ran over here,” Richard explained. “You can do that right now.”

“I’m all ears!” she chimed. “What’s the deal?”

Richard pointed across the street. “In that parking lot are three cop cars; two are regular squad cars, but one is different.” He looked at the messy fast food in their hands. “I want you to take your burritos and place them on the front seat.” He smirked as he peered at the parking lot. “It’s payback time.”

The three looked uncertain. “What’s wrong?” Richard asked.

“But we just got these,” she pouted. “We’re hungry.”

Richard withdrew his wallet, pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, and handed it over. “You can buy yourself new food.”

She snatched the bill from his hand. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

With a burst of giggles, the three ran across the street and toward the parking lot. Richard chuckled to himself and jogged back to Eustace.

“What was that all about?” Eustace asked, looking uncomfortably into the parking lot. The girls had reached Captain Doyle’s vehicle; he heard the door open. Just as he suspected, the door was unlocked.

“Don’t look,” Richard advised. “You don’t want to know. And I heard what you said about burnout; I was listening.”

“Oh, good.” The giggles continued, interspersed with the occasional splat sound; Richard almost looked in their direction. “I have one last question for you, if you’re willing to entertain it.”

Eustace smiled. “Fire away.”

“It’s about Rosaleen.”

“Of course. Truly a weighty subject. I understand your obsession; believe me, I do. I swear, if I was forty years younger…”

“No! Down! Bad dog!” Richard trilled. “We seem to like each other, and we have a lot in common, but…I’m overwhelmed by, shall we say, appreciation for her physical attributes. I’m concerned about what that says about me as a person.”

“Don’t be concerned,” Eustace advised. “That’s typical for men your age, and it’ll change as you get older. But until then, my advice…get a prenuptial agreement.” He suddenly leaned forward in his chair. “Trust me on this!”

They heard a car door slam; the giggles faded into the distance. Eustace and Richard finally dared to look; there appeared to be something splattered on the inside of the windshield. Richard suddenly felt a chill. “I think I need to…”

Eustace nodded. “Go. Quickly.”

Richard got up and bolted for his car. “Thanks again for everything!”

“And to you, good sir.” Eustace covered his mouth and tried to stifle his guffaws.

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