I awoke with a start and bolted upright, with a panicked feeling in my gut. I grabbed my chest with a hand and frantically looked around for the source of my sudden anxiety. 

Nothing…

Everyone was asleep, our large campfire dwindling down to crackling embers and a wisp of smoke. No sense of danger. Everything was quiet, as the nearly full moons shone overhead in the clear night sky. 

I took some deep, calming breaths.

It’s okay, Amy. Everything is okay. Chad is on watch. Nothing is in the shadows.

Wait. Chad was on watch, right? Where was he?

I put on my glasses and carefully got up, trying not to disturb Ash or Dorian at my sides, and crept around the borders of the camp, looking for our Prince. I found him on the edge of a nearby small lake, staring out into it, with the beautiful reflections of the moons trapped within. He was pacing along the shore, kicking at rocks with his boots.

“What am I to do Goddess? You spoke to her once. Why won’t you speak to me?”

Did I hear that right? Is he praying to the Goddess?

I stepped loudly on a twig to attract his attention from a distance. He whirled towards the noise and drew his sword but halted when he realized who it had been.

“Oh,” he said disgustedly, as he sheathed his sword back in its scabbard, “It’s you.” 

I kept approaching him as he looked away back at the lake. He was alone, and obviously deep in thought already. Now was as good a time as any to have some sort of a breakthrough like Ash and I discussed a few days ago.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I swallowed hard and attempted to be direct. “You know, I remember a time when you used to call me by my name.”

His reply was immediate, tone unwavering, “Fine, Amy.” He still wouldn’t face me. “Why are you awake and wandering around? Don’t you already have a full day of walking to do tomorrow? As if we needed more excuses to slow us down.”

I ignored his mean-spirited comment. I couldn’t back down. I had been mentally preparing myself for a serious face-to-face with Chad since talking with Ash. Taking this first step and making the effort to start a groundbreaking conversation with him had been so hard, and it was the first time he had addressed me directly since my transformation. We were alone. There would be no witnesses and maybe I could get him to lower his defenses, even if only a little. I steeled myself and kept at it. 

“You know what I mean! You know my name. Dorian and Ash still use it, why can’t you?”

He finally whirled to face me with a snarl, venom lacing every word, “Do I?! Do I know your name? Or anything about you? For all I know, everything about you up until we reached the temple was a lie!” He turned back to face the lake, crossing his arms stubbornly and kicking another rock. “At least Obarith revealed your treachery before I got too caught up in your nonsense.”

I held my breath for a moment and then pressed some more, “If you actually believed that Chadwick, then why are you out here by yourself, praying to the Goddess, while staring into the reflection of the moons?” 

He didn’t turn to face me again, but I still caught him stealing a glance at me for a moment out of the corner of his eye. 

“I heard you,” I continued. “You’re hoping she would speak to you the same way she spoke to me. Give you some guidance to whatever internal turmoil you are wrestling with.” I stepped into the shallows and moved in front of him so he would be forced to look at me. “Something you are struggling with that you don’t wish to share with the rest of us!”

“There is nothing to share!” He flashed his teeth in a grimace, closed his eyes, and looked away in frustration. “None of you could possibly understand the challenges I am faced with! There’s no point sharing my burdens when they’re too vast for the likes of you.”

Time to get desperate. 

“What about Dorian? Or Julius or Kit? They’re also the heirs of their Houses. Surely you can talk to them.”

He waved off my suggestion as if it was the dumbest thing he had ever heard, still glancing anywhere but directly at me. “They may have important paths ahead of them, and trials all their own. But I’ve said it before: heavy is the head that wears the crown. They don’t have the pressures of running a kingdom some day on their shoulders. They don’t have the expectations of the king behind every choice they make. Or a brother who wants what they have. A brother who dogs their footsteps so aggressively that they feel his every breath on their neck.”

It was my turn to cross my arms in frustration. I stomped over, through the shallows, into his line of sight again, water splashing in my wake. 

“First off, these excuses are bull and you know it.”

“How dare—”

I stomped my foot, “I’m not finished!” 

I was starting to get frustrated. He was so exhausting and stubborn! “For the love of the Goddess, Chad, we’re your friends! At least Dorian, Ash and I are!” I stammered out exasperatedly. “I can tell there is a lot going on between you, Julius and Kit, but you should at least feel like you could talk to us! There must be competition within their families too! Not for the crown, maybe, but I’m sure they understand at least some of your pressure!”

He stopped attempting to interrupt me, but still chose to look over my shoulder, out at the lake again, instead of meeting my eyes. Normally, Chad was quick to talk back when he was forced into a corner. Instead, a lack of a rebuttal was strange. I had struck a chord somewhere. I went for broke, butterflies swirling in my stomach despite the late hour. 

“What happened to you? Ever since we left Bronzemead, something changed. You became more irritable. You stopped treating us like, well, like your friends.”

He finally flashed his eyes in my direction. “I’ve learned that I can’t be bothered with such petty attachments, something you should be able to understand.” He gestured at my body and sighed, as if something finally gave way. 

“I thought I had a destiny to fulfill. One I’ve held onto since I was 16. One that I clung to with every fiber of my being, because it was something Father despised. It was something he couldn’t control, nor was it a grand scheme that he put in place for me!” He poked hard at his chest with his fingers, and then gestured to the night sky above. 

“I saw the shooting star all those months ago, and the sign I had been waiting years for finally arrived. I chased its descent with a single-minded determination, like a hunter after a deer, abandoning a task from my king, knowing the consequences, and not caring, as the rewards would far outweigh the consequences.” He threw his arms up in disgust, “And what happened? How was my faith and diligence rewarded?” His face turned sour.

“With you.” 

He finally looked down at the lake. My eyes followed his and I saw he was taking in our reflections. 

My reflection.

He sighed in resolution. “You asked me what changed? Everything, and yet also nothing. Even after meeting the Goddess’ star, I’m still a prisoner in my father’s gilded cage, no path to call my own.” 

His resolve finally broke with that admission. He looked sad for the first time since our conversation started, the same look on his face now as when he thought he was alone. Bracing myself, I stepped closer to him, and he backed away defensively. It caught me off guard, but I decided to poke a little at this new defensive nature. 

“Really? You’re doing that now? Are you afraid you might transform into a hideous toad if you touched me?” I smirked.

He hesitated before managing to stammer out, “… not a toad, no.”

He was legitimately afraid of me! Finally, a chink in his armor! It was actually kind of cute. I giggled and took another step, and again he retreated.

“Stop that.”

Another step. Another retreat. 

I grinned and playfully asked him, “Stop what?”

I took another step, and he grabbed the hilt of his sword, but did not draw it. He was attempting to intimidate me, his mouth drawn in a serious line, but I knew better. 

“I mean it.”

Letting curiosity get the better of me, I clasped my hands behind my back and leaned forward, a coy smile on my lips, “Are you scared of me, Prince Chadwick?”

His face still serious, he jabbed back, “I don’t know what you are, nor what threats exist in your world. You could be anything! Anything except my destiny.”

I sighed, “For once, I agree with your father. You are too hung up on this destiny thing.”

His mouth dropped open for a moment, like he was readying a vicious retort. But then it shut, and his shoulders slumped, arms limp at his sides.

I started pacing in the waters in front of him, “I mean I get it now that you’ve added some perspective on it. The Goddess’ prophecy of the shooting star was something that separated you from everything you’d ever known. That you’d ever been told. Your whole life up until that moment had been completely planned out. You met me and I was an unknown! I was something exciting!” I spun back to look at him. “So how did I not live up to those expectations? I think I was plenty exciting for you when we first met!”

He frowned, “Which time? When you slapped me for no good reason? When you almost got yourself killed facing a horde of undead? When you appeared to become a deity yourself in the ruins of a temple, to a Goddess I’m not supposed to have faith in? I could go on!”

I smiled, feeling some confidence. We were making progress. 

“You just proved my point, Chadwick. How many of those things had ever happened to you in your life? Had you ever been told ‘no’ before? Or have someone, other than Duncan, man-handle you in a fist fight and shove your face in some dirt? Or beat you in a rigged sword fight in your favor in front of an entire town? I was everything you wanted…” 

And just like that, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. How had I not put two and two together before now? How had I been so oblivious? 

My words started tumbling out in an uncontrollable rush. “I was everything you had hoped for. Your dreams, and the prophecy, became more than a ludicrous fantasy by some old witches! A new path for you started to emerge…”

His face softened as I put words to his emotions from the last few months.

I flushed and looked at our reflections again, “And then Obarith did what he did… and took it all away.”

He nodded solemnly and we stood there in silence. Time seemed to stop, the only indication of it passing were the ripples of water across our reflections. I didn’t know how long we stood there before our frozen moment in time cracked, along with his voice, as he started to speak.

“I don’t know what to do.” He admitted. “You are no longer the star I swore to follow.” He gestured at my reflection this time, instead of my actual body. “Obarith saw I was drifting from my path and corrected your influence. I cannot ignore his heavenly intervention, and I can’t defy my father again. Not about this. Not without good cause.” 

I could hear the desperation in his voice, “I want to believe the Goddess is finally acknowledging the rot in our world, but every time I give myself over to faith, something happens and my belief in her is shattered again.”

 His eyes were starting to look wet, “She fails me.”

I stepped closer to him again, only this time he didn’t back away. I reached up and stroked his cheek. When my fingertips grazed his face, he slowly moved his hand to hold mine in place. He leaned his cheek into my open palm and closed his eyes. 

I blushed uncontrollably and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. This conversation had already forced me way outside my comfort zone, but I was acting on raw emotion now. I hadn’t even realized I was going to reach up to touch him until I had already done it.

We just stood there a moment, his cheek warming in my hand. “So, do you now see?” he finally asked. “I can’t share these concerns with the others. They won’t understand, only judge. I must move forward on the path paved for me by my king, and my God. Unceasing.”

He looked so strong in the glow of the moonlight. His posture had strengthened with the resolve of his last statement. His face was determined, and yet at the same time, was more vulnerable than I had ever seen.

I wanted to say something reassuring, to let him know I was still there for him, regardless of my form now. “I know this task is important, Chadwick. This is the type of mission we set out to accomplish when we left Bronzemead in the first place. If I didn’t believe it was one that the Goddess wanted me to see through, I wouldn’t be here tonight. With you.”

I smiled softly at him, “So, now don’t you see? Amy or Amelia, right now it doesn’t matter. The Goddess and her star are here right beside you.”

He opened his eyes, and the reflection of the moons cast his Chaddington blue eyes in an enchanted hue. I felt a warmth rising in my cheeks. My brain was screaming at me to run, my heart still pounding in my chest, now for a completely different reason. But my feet weren’t listening. I was lost in his gaze. 

“Thank you, Amelia.”

And with that, he leaned down and touched his soft lips to mine in a gentle kiss.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I couldn’t look anyone in the face the next day. Chad continued to ride at the head with Duncan, so it was easy to avoid any awkward moments with him. Ash could tell something was amiss and poked at me a little bit, but I just pulled my hoodie over my head and closed the drawstrings. I had already done this enough around the boys that they understood it as the universal sign for “go away.”

And so, I sat on my horse, my head wrapped in my security blanket, pondering the events of last night. My emotions had been all over the place throughout the day, varying between embarrassment and confusion. 

Nothing had been said between us after the kiss. At the surprising touch of his lips on mine, my brain exploded trying to process what was happening. By the time I was able to put two thoughts together, the kiss had ended, and Chad had already disappeared back behind the trees. I didn’t even remember making my own way back to camp afterwards. I knew I stood in shallows a while longer, my fingers hanging on my lips, gazing into the lake waters, and wishing it hadn’t been over so quickly. My face was hot, and all my emotions were on overdrive. I remembered splashing water on my face to try and reset everything. The next thing I knew, I was already lying back in my bed sack. I didn’t remember sleeping, just blinking and it had been morning.

What did the kiss mean? Had it meant anything at all? It had been like a shock of electricity was shared between us in that briefest instant. It had been my first kiss, and it had come from a boy that elicited nothing but confusing and mixed emotions from me on his best days! I shook my head, trying to think rationally. No, it had been nothing special. It couldn’t have been! We finally both had the courage to break down some walls and had just been filled with raw emotions. That was it! It was just a kiss, something spur of the moment! Chad was still the same frustrating and annoying man-child I had always known. 

But then why did my heart flutter whenever my thoughts wandered back to the lake?

I heard a snapping sound in my direction and drew back my hoodie, only to discover Chad had been mere inches from my face snapping at it to get my attention. I squeaked in surprise and tried not to immediately retreat back into my hood.

Chad noticed my shock, and his face started to turn a light shade of pink. He glanced away from me and muttered, “Duncan says your rest is over. Time to get back on foot.” 

I vigorously nodded, as I secretly wished I was anywhere else. He immediately prodded his horse along to move back to the head of the column, leaving me again just as quickly as he had last night.

And again, with a head full of questions.

As I got off my horse, Ash couldn’t help himself anymore. “Okay, spill it. You’ve been flustered and avoiding eye contact with everyone all day. Something happened last night, and I couldn’t put it together until just now.” He eyed me suspiciously, “You and Chadwick did something…”

I started waving my arms at him frantically, “I don’t know what you are talking about! Nothing happened! We just talked!”

Ash rolled his eyes. “Come on, you’re acting the same way you always do when Dorian comes at you with one of his dumb lines. What did Chadwick do this time?”

I started fidgeting and tapping my fore fingers together. “He didn’t do anything. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and decided to talk to him alone, while he was on watch, and everyone was asleep.” I finally got the courage to smile and make eye contact with him, “I think we really made some headway.”

Ash still had an eyebrow raised, “Alright, if you say so. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you getting yourself hurt around him.” And after a small pause, “Or around any of them.”

Distracted by our conversation, we had fallen behind the pace of the group. Ash stirred our horses into a little faster trot, and I began to jog along.

Believe me, getting hurt isn’t the emotion I’m concerned with right now.