I jumped as a small empty glass slammed down next to me on the table. I looked up from my half-eaten dinner and saw Kit had decided to join me at my empty table. After slamming down the glass, he then slammed down an unopened bottle of something alcoholic. 

Seems everyone is drinking tonight.

“Not going to get some food to down that with, Kit?”

He smirked as he reversed his chair and straddled it as he sat down. 

“Dinner was a coupla hours ago, Amy. From the looks of your plate, looks like you’ve been pokin’ at it awhile. ‘S matter? Not hungry? Carmilla isn’t much of a cook, but the food ain’t that bad!”

I smiled a bit, knowing that Carmilla had next to no impact on the food served at the fort, but let the jab go as I poked at my half-eaten dinner. I had been so hungry earlier that the desire for a hot meal had overwhelmed all my other thoughts. But once I actually sat down alone at my table and got some food in me, the events of the day again took hold. I had remembered the smell of fresh blood in the air. The sounds of something else feasting with a ravenous hunger… 

“I guess I have been sitting here awhile and I just lost track of time. Today was a lot to process. Maybe for you it was just another day in the pits, but for me?” Despite how hungry I had been when I filled up my plate, I realized my appetite was long gone. 

“I saw and heard a man’s head get bit clean through today, Kit. A man we had been traveling with. And that was just the start of the nightmares I’m going to be reliving for a while. And we’re resolved to hunt down more of them? Stronger ones?” 

His facial expression stayed neutral, just watching me as I revealed what I had been processing since sitting down. “I don’t think I’m scared or apprehensive about tomorrow, I suppose I’m just kind of numb to it right now. I guess I just needed some time to myself, that’s all.”

Kit finally shook his head and uncorked his bottle to pour himself a drink. “Sounds like what you need,” and he pushed the half-filled glass over to me, “is something to take the edge off.” 

I eyed him suspiciously as he pulled a second glass out from thin air and poured himself a new drink. 

He wants me to drink with him??

Seeing my skepticism, he winked at me, “Trust me! It’s like vitamins!”

Back in Bronzemead, I had refrained from drinking with the boys after a long day, even when I’d had my more mature body as Amelia. Eitania didn’t seem to have any age limits with ale or mead, but everyone just seemed to naturally understand what a socially accepted age was to drink. 

Guess today feels like a socially acceptable day. 

I had turned down the friendly drink with Carmilla, but that was because I didn’t know her. I didn’t know what she wanted when she had requested the one-on-one time, and I wanted to pretend I could compose myself around the Commander. This? This was Kit. I mean, that was both a good and a bad thing, but as long as I remembered it was Kit, this was fine, right?

I raised a glass with Kit and tossed it back like I had seen many times before. The liquid rushed down over my tongue and down my throat, lukewarm and burning the whole way. I snapped my eyes shut and I was sure I had a horrid expression on my face as the burning finally dulled and the smokey aftertaste surfaced. The experience wasn’t wholly unpleasant, but I definitely understood why alcohol had always been described as an acquired taste.

I shook my head and white knuckled the edge of the table with my free hand as I finished swallowing and Kit laughed. His glass was still in his hand, untouched. Had he refilled already? I pointed at his glass as I gulped, and words escaped me as I coughed afterwards. 

“Keep your adorable tits on, Kitten! I’m gonna, but I just had ta’ watch that first! Despite what most may think, I’m not so hardened by the likes a’ today that I don’t also need pleasant distractions.” He saluted me with it and downed his glass as well, then poured both of us more of the drink without asking. 

Whiskey. It had to be. 

My coughing fit subsided and I shoved a fork full of overcooked carrots in my mouth to give me something different to taste as Kit looked on. I wanted to change the subject from the gore and trauma of the day. I had dwelt enough on it already throughout the afternoon and evening.

“So, Carmilla wanted to talk to me after our debriefing was over.” 

Kit raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh yeah? Did she wanna to give you tips on winnin’ my little heart? If she didn’t happen to tell you anythin’ about my preferences, I prefer colorful lace panties that leave little to the imagination.” He winked at me, “Or you can go without. Less work for me!”

I paused with a fork full of carrots and looked at him. “Ew.”

Reacting quickly before he had a chance to be even more gross, I finished shoving the fork in my mouth and commented around my mouthful, “While we did talk about you, she gave me tips for keeping you at arm’s reach instead.” 

He rolled his eyes, his ego deflating, if only slightly. “Of course, she did.”

“Gotta say, while I was expecting to meet another Zannister while we were here, I can’t say I expected your older sister.”

Kit sighed. “Honestly, had I remembered Carmilla’s recent postin’ to Blackwall, I wouldn’t even be here. I would have found a’ excuse, any excuse to avoid having ta work alongside her. Any of my other Zannister cousins or uncles woulda been better. ‘ell, even Father.” At that, he didn’t even prompt me to drink with him and emptied his glass again.

“It can’t be that bad, can it? I mean she filled me in a little, but I can only imagine how intense you’ve got it at home. You’re the oldest son and have life planned out for you, and your relationship with Carmilla is… chaotic at best, as it trumps her status as the actual firstborn?”

“That’s about the sum of it. I have many cousins, a couple o’ them are actually older, but my father’s place in his sibling’s hierarchy secures my own, not that I even knew any a’ this until recently. An’ I don’t care.” 

He poked at my newly filled drink and pushed it at my empty hand resting next to my plate. Hesitantly, I went ahead and downed another shot. I pinched my eyes shut as I swallowed again, clapped my chest a couple of times for good measure, then hurriedly shoved more carrots down my throat. Doing his best imitation of an attentive bartender, Kit immediately refilled my glass while continuing.

“I don’t want any of it. I’ve told her as much, which just seems to irritate her even more, which I don’t understand. When I was discovered in the pits and my position within the family was restored, nothing changed for her anyway! My brother, the second in line while I was missing, was still being groomed ahead a’ her. Nothin’ for her has changed.” he repeated, as if talking himself into believing it. He threw back his drink again and methodically topped off the empty glass as he brought it back down.

“It’s all politics an’ nonsense. You got any siblings back home?” 

I shook my head, which started to feel like it was floating in water. My surroundings seemed to stretch sideways, and I blinked hard waiting for things to look normal again.

“No, I was an only child. Am an only child? My family was small. Didn’t have any cousins either, so I really can’t relate with the stuff you guys are going through.” He pushed my glass at my hand again and I was pretty sure I raised an eyebrow at him. It was hard to say, as I wasn’t positive my face was fully cooperating anymore. I finished what I wanted to say first before risking some more of his vitamins.

“That being said, it shouldn’t be that hard to understand Carmilla’s frustrations.” He eyed me suspiciously, as if I had just implied something as obvious as the color of the sky. “Even before I got a chance to talk to her, as a person rather than the Commander, I could tell she’s worked very hard to get where she is now. She’s been the ideal Zannister, and then you are found again and you’re, to quote yourself, ‘the walking disaster’, and she’s expected to continue to be ok with being overlooked?” 

I grunted at him, the alcohol in my system making me a little more emotional than I wanted to be. 

“And now you’re adding insult to injury by telling her you don’t care about it all? She’s infuriated! Maybe not at you.” He cocked an eyebrow at me, “Well maybe some of it at you.”

Kit seemed to let this percolate with the whiskey in his brain before saying, “Fair ‘nough. You make some good points, Kitten. You’re holdin’ on to your wits pretty well after a little bit of drink! Means ya’ aren’t doing it right!” 

 I sighed and readied myself before slamming back my third glass. I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet after finishing and the glass had already been topped off again. Was the damn bottle bottomless?

I hiccupped and attempted to continue adding to my train of thought. My emotions were still getting the better of me, and I hadn’t been done with my advice giving before being prodded into that last drink. “The point is -hic- that you should be more considerate about Carmilla’s situation that’s been forced upon her and her achievements, and not ask her about when she’s going to -hic- finally sleep with a man and have children. Take it from someone who knows, she’s already got enough family pestering her about that.”

Kit threw back another drink, his fifth? He didn’t even seem to be feeling it, but that shouldn’t have surprised me. He probably could have drank for twelve straight hours and then topped off the day driving a bus. 

“I know she doesn’t like it, Kitten. And I don’t know why I do it, but it’s just so much fun to rile her up.” 

I attempted to give him a confused look, which in my rapidly deteriorating state, was probably accomplished regardless of if I had actually been trying. 

“Do you even he-hear yourself right now? Why do it if you know the outcome?”

He gave a dumb grin that Carmilla would have smacked him for. Amelia too. “However far ya’ think my money and charm get me with the ladies, keep goin’. It’s not far ‘nough.”

 At that comment, I decided I hadn’t had nearly enough alcohol to consider our conversation charming and, to Kit’s delight, I knocked back another glass then slammed it on the table and gave a deep watery belch before clasping my hands around my mouth with embarrassment.

Kit started laughing and slapped me on the back, which wasn’t helpful. “See? Now you’re getting the hang of it! You’ll be an expert at drinking games before ya know it!”

He poured me another glass and shoved it in my hand, before clinking his own glass to it. I blinked several times to clear my watery vision, and then raised my glass to his. “To Rosethorne!”

Kit raised his glass higher and turned to the dining hall, shouting to all, “To Rosethorne!” Most all of the soldiers still in the hall turned to him with chants of “Rosethorne!”, and everyone drank deep from any mug they had available. Kit turned back to me, nodded, and we toasted the lives lost to the north.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So then he— he—” Kit was stammering and laughing trying to finish the punchline from one of his pranks on Julius. “He woke up and gave some public lectures and worked with his professors for over half the day before realizing everything I had drawn on his face!” 

Kit’s face was beet red, a mixture of the laughter and the heavy drinking, practically crying while trying to finish the story. I was howling with him, picturing Julius with fake facial hair, nonsensical doodles, and swear words on his face. 

I had no idea what time it was. After the sixth or seventh drink, I had stopped caring about a lot of the things that had been weighing on my mind, which had probably been the point. I had given in to Kit’s peer pressure to enjoy myself and had started matching him shot for shot. Where he continued to get more drinks from, my mind was too far gone to figure that out. One thing I was making an effort to remember, however, was that Kit was a master at pretend. I had no idea if he was truly drunk, as I had seen him act like it around women the first day I had met him.

As if on cue, I felt a strong hand squeeze my thigh. “You know, it occurs to me that, if this is your first time drinking, you’ve probably got a lot of other adult things you haven’t experienced yet…” He gave me what I think was supposed to be a sly wink as I removed his hand from my leg.

“You aren’t nearly as charming as you think you are, sir! Not nearly charming enough for that anyway.” I slurred out. 

He leaned back, an expression of mock hurt on his face. “You wound me, Kitten! I thought we had established a real bond today! You shared with me your emotional exhaustions of the day and I shared my sordid inner details of my family!”

I giggled drunkenly at him, “We drank and talked about how crappy our day was. That’s not bonding, that’s just a sad dinner.” I drank another dangerously full glass without thinking, and afterwards gasped out, “As for your family situation, that, too, is sad, but you didn’t share a whole lot I hadn’t already heard from Carmilla. I think our sharing was fairly one-sided, don’t you?”

He reached over and put a hand on top of mine. “Maybe so, but I think I’m beginning to see what Chadwick sees in ya’. Maybe it’s the drink talkin’ but despite your plain appearance, you’ve gotta certain appeal to ya.” He reached up and took off my glasses, making my vision even more blurry than before. 

“I mean get rid of these things and doll up your face an’ hair, an’ a night with you wouldn’t be the most miserable. I’ll even spring for some lace to spruce up our evening activities! What colors do you like?”

This is him being charming?

I reached blindly for my glasses at the hand I thought held them, only to have him stretch away and leave me grabbing at air. 

“I know you think you’re being cute, Kit,” I said, while continuing to struggle to get my glasses back, “but it’s really just obnoxious and you should quit before this kitten shows her claws.” 

Suddenly, a blurry form appeared behind Kit, there was a sweeping motion followed by Kit crying out a drunken “hey!” and some gloved hands were putting my glasses back on my face. 

Julius leaned away and observed the both of us with a look of judgement on his face. 

“I believe the General and Commander’s instructions were to freshen up and rest so to be ready for our continued task tomorrow, not get so blindingly drunk that you will be a liability.” He turned to Kit and smacked his face as if trying to slap him back to sobriety, or just because he could get away with it. In my loopy state, it was hard to tell. 

“I’d expect this sort of behavior from you, Kit. I honestly considered it no small miracle that you weren’t either drunk or hungover while we fought for our lives against the vampires. Carry yourself with some sort of respectability and get to your bunk. Consider that an order!” 

Kit staggered up from his chair, twisting his face and making mocking sounds of Julius’ admonishing before drunkenly wandering off and out of the hall. 

Julius then turned to me.

“I’m a little shocked to find you in this state. Of all the things I was sure you were not, a drunk made that very long list. I thought you had been advised against consorting with Kit, and you were to steer clear of him as much as he was to stay away from you. Instead, I’ve noticed the two of you keeping frequent company over the passing days.”

I looked up at him from my chair. He towered above me, and my poor, inebriated depth perception made him appear like a gigantic pouting purple skyscraper. I was trying not to giggle at him, as I knew that would only earn me more lecturing. Instead, I decided to give Julius some drunken sass back. I realized being hammered was making it easier to be mouthy. 

“Kit had the courtesy to notice I needed some company after the long day today, Dad, and he was kind enough to share a drink with me. It was more than you offered to do! You didn’t even check in on me!”

He started to object, then stopped. “You are right. In my attempts to lump you in with the other soldiers, as well as the prince’s recommendation that I should not have an interest in you, I have also overlooked that you are not hardened like the rest of us, and a woman besides.”

Continuing to look up at him was giving me a sense of vertigo and I suddenly felt the urge to throw up on his shoes. 

Julius seemed to not notice, “How are you then, after the events of today? I am sure the encounter with monsters long thought annihilated and burning the bodies of fallen comrades must have been unnerving.”

And there it was. 

I threw my head down at the floor and repainted it with the contents of my stomach. I regretted that I had loaded up on carrots immediately. 

Julius stepped back, but not in time, catching his robe and shoes in the splash zone. My vomiting continued for a few moments before I felt empty. As I attempted to collect myself on the floor, Julius was muttering to himself while looking at his now soiled lower half. 

“Gods damnit, Kit!”

He sighed and addressed me again. “Are you well enough to stand or must you be carried? We should get you cleaned up and in bed. Hungover or not, tomorrow cannot be avoided.”

I snorted a carrot chunk out of my nose, stumbled, and attempted to stand but fell before I could even start to walk. Julius caught me before I hit the cobblestone floor and held me upright.

“Right, I guess that answers that question.” With minimal effort, he swept an arm behind the crook of my knees and lifted me off the ground. I swung an arm around his neck to steady myself as he looked at me.

“Please, don’t throw up on me again.”

I burped and instantly regretted it. 

“No promises…”