7 AM

I climbed out of my bed, standing and stretching for the last time in this room. I didn't have many personal belongings in my room. Most of everything would be given back to my mother in the coming days. Everything else would be collected and stored with the rest of the previous house member's personal belongings.

Walking downstairs, Nash was watching the television with Westin. A news story was playing, and the location seemed oddly familiar. I sat down to watch them as they continued talking about a miracle. The reporter talked about a once beloved species now having an official count of six living individuals. The screen flashed an image of a bird, black, red, and white.

"With the four offspring being fledged, this could mean the eventual reintroduction of the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker." The reporter stated. There was no mistaking who was responsible for those said offspring, considering he was one of only two remaining.

"Sounds like Damien is making a name for himself, that is, if they would call him by name," Nash said, watching the TV.

"Ehh, they never mentioned him by name when I saw him there." I said, "I would guess they don't want to associate the disease with the whole project."

"Maybe, or maybe they don't see him as a human. Could be a few things." Westin said.

"It's weird, really," Nash said. "Humans being used to save a different species, and neither of them had any control over it, except maybe luck."

"Well, thank god the red tail isn't going extinct. I don't know about having children, let alone in another body." I said that the thought of having children as a non-human sent a disturbing shiver down my spine.

I heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs as Matthew walked into the living room. Shortly behind him were Jeremy and Rylie. Jeremy sat on the couch and stared at me. Matthew opened his beak and hesitated before asking, "You feeling alright, Lyall? You still feeling up to this?".

"Maybe. I guess it is what it is, right?" I replied.

"Well, let's make up some breakfast and see what the day looks like," Matthew said as he turned to the kitchen, gesturing me to follow. I followed behind, my talons slipping slightly on the hard floor of the kitchen. I would try to catch myself, but the wings make it difficult. Matthew grabbed a plastic cup from the cupboard and put it on the counter.

"You want a glass of something? I can pour it for ya." He offered as he removed a jug of orange juice from the fridge. I shook my head, and Matthew closed the fridge door, jug still in hand.

"Have anything you want to do once you finish?" Rylie asked from behind. I turned to face her, but my left wing caught Matthew's glass the threw it to the ground.

"Oh shoot!" I shouted as the partially filled glass was dumped on the floor. Without thinking, I reached with my right talon and picked the glass up, holding it to Matthew. It wasn't until after he took the glass from my foot that I realized what I had done. I opened and closed my grip before returning my scaly yellow foot to the ground.

I turned to answer Rylie's question. "I mean, if I'm somehow still in there, flying would be the first thing I want to try," I said, holding my wings out slightly. "These have to be worth something, right?"

"Well, you already practiced hunting, but next time Nash won't be there to assist," Rylie said with a wink.

I shook my head, scoffing at the remark. I would have to hunt for my meals, wouldn't I? I don't know what I thought I would eat. I was banking on losing my mind to the hawk. But I have a little more hope that won't happen each day.

When everyone was done with breakfast, the clock read 9:24 AM. The old saying that 'Time flies when you are having fun' also fits with dreading something I'm my experience. It seemed as though the time was whizzing by the moment you looked away from the clock. Matthew asked me privately how I would like the trip to go down. I was slightly confused as it seemed pretty simple to me. I figured we would get there and just go with whatever happened.

"When you shift, do you want to be alone for it, or do you want us there to watch?" Matthew asked.

I guess I had not thought about it. I watched Benji shift at the end, but Damien chose to turn alone. I didn't know. I was both afraid to be alone and would have liked some privacy, and I told him that I would decide there what I preferred.

10 AM

The time came to get in the cars and head for the trail. Everyone tried to joke and make it seem normal, but the trip had an off feeling. I rode in the car with Matthew and Jeremy; everyone else was in Nash's van. I had offered my mom to come, but she stayed steady that she could not handle being there.

The ride was quiet, the roads nearly empty, mid-morning on a weekday. We didn't expect many others to be on the walking path today, making it less of a public show and a little more personal and private.

We pulled off the road and into the gravel parking lot. The last time I was here was when Kole had his scare with his hips reforming. That was the last time I was in public with Kole and the last time I spent much time with him.

Stepping out of the car, the cool morning air was still warming. The slightest of breezes rustled my chest feathers. I closed the door, and we slowly walked toward the trailhead. We found the small map at the entrance to the trail, and I knew where I wanted the change to happen and the direct path to it.

I lead the way down the trail. We passed an older couple walking in the other direction in the straight section under the trees. They seemed confused, but I wouldn't blame them. Not often, you would see more than one, let alone six hybrids at the same time.

Once we reached the clearing, the area was empty of anyone else—only the tall grass with dirt paths sprawling around groupings of wild plant growth. We continued to walk along the perimeter path until we were next to the creek, covered by the edge of the woods.

"What time is it?" I asked. Westin pulled out his phone before replying, "11:45".

There was no rigid set time of 12 PM. But I know that if I didn't give myself a time, I would procrastinate out of fear. I felt proud of being on time, but I also wished I could have procrastinated this one time. I walked a few yards into the clearing, knowing full well I was not walking back to the car from here. I was about to cross the point of no return.

"Well, this is it, isn't it?" I asked the group. "For everything that happened, it seems like it was way longer than a few months. Benji's mom, Damien, the road trip and hotel," I said, giving Jeremy a nod. "Almost killing myself on a table ledge, Benji..." I paused. "But hey, I made it. It wasn't a race, but I sure did get here quick."

I looked at the tree line. It seemed so similar to my dreams, and I could feel myself getting excited. I turned back and gave my final words as a hybrid. "Thank you, guys. The last year was weird, but I wouldn't change a second of it."

I could see my friends standing at the edge of the woods. Even though I had only spent a few months with them, I felt like I had known them for years. I hope that I can remember them and everything we have done together. It had been a long road to this point, and I still had a long way to go. I still didn't know what would happen, but I had only one way of knowing.

I nodded before turning away and walking about twenty feet away from the woods. I took a deep breath and relaxed. It felt like a cool breeze blew over my body as I let go. I held my wings out slightly as I felt a small amount of pressure in my head. My entire body had this light pressure to it as another cool wave surged across my body. I peeked with my eyes to see the ground was closer than before.

Looking carefully, my body was slimming, becoming more streamlined. I could feel my head squeezing ever so slightly as my skull flattened. The cool feeling held on as my balance shifted, and I found myself leaning forward to stay standing. My head began compensating for my body's movement as my head stayed still when I leaned forward. I looked at the ground again as I was growing ever closer.

I closed my eyes and held my wings out proudly. The light breeze slowly blew across the surface of my wings, feathers moving with the wind as I was only seconds away from finishing. I felt the pressure relieve itself, and at that moment, everything felt right. I looked back at the crew, looking up from my new perspective. They all watched as I lifted my wings and brought them to the ground with a hard, forceful push. Kicking my little legs off the ground, I was up. My wings pulled in and stroked upwards before unfolding and pressing down again, giving me another boost forward and into the air. My tail was making minor corrections to keep me stable as I climbed higher and higher.

After climbing to about twenty feet, I turned back toward the crew and lowered my altitude, letting my glide carry me without a hint of a flap. I turned a 180 around them six feet from the ground before heading toward the field, away from the crew. As I flew out, I felt something almost "click" in my mind. It felt as though I had always known to fly, like I was just remembering how to control my wings and tail as I beat them harder, climbing yet higher until I was just above the tree line when I held my wings out and let my body glide quietly away.

Away from what I used to be

PATIENT TERMINATION REPORT
DATE: March 17th, 2023
NAME: Lyall Williams
AGE: 20
SEX: Male
SPECIES: Red-Tailed Hawk (Buteo jamaicensis)
DESCRIPTION: Changes completed at a local nature park. Peers confirmed total transformation. Previously test subject of the mental inhibitor program.
STATUS: Integrated with local fauna
CASE CLOSED
END OF REPORT

I opened my eyes to find I was perched in a tree. It was early morning, just minutes past sunrise, as the world slowly lit up—the brighter light allowing my eyes to make out the details around me. I don't think I expected to be in control still, but I felt nothing in the back of my head. I was totally and wholly in control of my mind and body. I could feel the instincts from my body, but they felt like instincts and not an entire other mind. Almost as if something was disconnecting the two minds, I swore I felt before. Maybe I had done something that broke the connection, or maybe there was no connection. All I felt was myself and the instincts I had slowly grown to know, now stronger than ever.

I didn't want to dwell on it much longer as I was thirsty. I lept from the tree the flew down to the creek. Taking a drink of water using my beak to scoop it up before lifting my head high. I had much to learn, but I can't argue how natural the control of my body felt. I could be fooled into thinking I was always a hawk. All of the motions seemed to come naturally. It took a few days before I learned how to hunt properly, and by that, I mean to bring myself to go through with the hunt. The first time I grabbed a squirrel, it screamed in pain and fear. I felt horrible, like I was torturing the poor creature, and let it go. Realizing later that, at some point, I would have to go through with it.

I did not even want to attempt hunting again, but after some time, the pain of hunger forced me to try again. My second attempt was easier, though, gripping with my talons and biting with my beak, not giving myself a moment to think about it. Once again, feeling the warm meat that I remembered so well. The more I leaned into my instincts, the more challenging they became to ignore. Quickly hunting became second nature, a fact of life I had to get used to if I wanted to survive alone.

Most days are spent perched, hunting, or flying. I never thought about how alone I was, too busy with other vital matters to dwell on. I had things I needed to do, and being alone made that more manageable, or so I thought. I occasionally flew around to different points to look closer at the walkers. Hoping to see someone I knew, and maybe they would recognize me...

I lost track of how many days had passed rather quickly. The lack of an accessible clock made it hard to figure out the day or even how far into a season it was, and I had no reason to keep track. There was no break from my new life; I had to provide for myself. I would find myself busy hunting or trying to ward off other hawks from my territory, the instincts urging me to claim my place in the world. I may be the new hawk around, but this was MY field.

Before I knew it, the leaves changed and began to fall to the ground. Walkers seemed to increase, and some would even stop to try and photograph me. I seemed to get more attention as a bird than I ever did as a human. I would keep my distance but try to give them at least an interesting subject to photograph. Once while getting a drink, two humans caught me in some large net. Taking me by surprise as they removed me using a leather glove and held my wings so I could not unfold them.

They scanned my back and were surprised to hear the small device they used to make a sound. The man messed with the device and eventually removed a small bag of rings from his backpack.

"What's that mean?" The other man asked, holding me in his hands.

"Looks like this was a Mr. Williams at one point. Poor guy." The man said as he removed a pack of tools from his bag.

"He's a shifty?" The man holding me asked.

"Looks like it. Let's get little Lyall here a proper band." He said, removing a hand tool from his pack.

"Do we count him still?"

'Yep, no different from the rest."

I wanted to try and give them a sign I was still in control, but my natural fear paralyzed me. They then pulled a small metal ring, the same color as Benji's, and crimped it loosely around my leg before releasing me. At first, flying around with it around my leg wasn't enjoyable, but with time I got used to it. It acts as a piece to remember my previous life and make sure I remember the folks who helped me to this point.

The winter came, and for the first time, I felt some struggles. The snow made hunting a different game, and water was usually harder to reach. The cold itself did not bother me that much, and my feathers could keep me warm more than enough. Sometimes I would find myself going longer between my meals and finding water. But when I was able to find something, I made sure to take advantage of the opportunity.

It has been months since I last looked for anyone. Not that I haven't been trying, but remember that finding food and water in the rough winter has been difficult. Every hour of daylight matters, and I can't waste a moment. Trying to find someone fruitlessly when hardly any walkers visit during the winter was not worth the energy expended. I envied the birds that migrated months ago as I ate for the first time in days.

Springtime came with warmer weather, easier food access, and new instincts. I knew I was more irritable than usual, but what would it hurt when I was alone? While on a hunt, I flew around the field's perimeter and spotted another large bird. As I approached, I could see it was another red tail. I scrambled quickly toward it, needing to defend my territory yet again. But as I flew past, it seemed to loop over me nonthreateningly. It swooped around me as I passed. At first, I tried to scare it off but felt the urge to fly along.

After a few days, I found myself perching with the other hawk, finding it friendly after being entirely alone for the last year. Not sure If I should feel bad for myself for trying to find some source of socializing or happy that I was getting along with my kind. I would bring food for it, and we would fly together in our free time. Shortly after, I found out through other means that the other hawk was a female. At first, that made me want to distance myself, but that did not last long until I desired companionship again. We spent more time together, flying together, preening each other's feathers, and finally feeling like I wasn't alone

We spent days, if not weeks, together before it happened. My instincts were getting quite strong at that point, and I was enjoying myself too much to resist. We had built a nest in the days prior, high up in the treetops. But piecing it all together was not immediate until I saw the eggs. Four white orbs covered in brown speckles adorned our nest, and she spent most of her time sitting on them as I attended to her needs. For the first time in a while, I felt happy and had something to look forward to.

Maybe Damien would be proud. Not only had I taken the jump and accepted my new life, but I also found myself a place and gotten myself established. But for now, I have much to do. I have a partner to feed and a clutch of eggs to care for. Even after the change, I still would not change a moment of everything I have been through. I have no regrets. I am who and what I am supposed to be.

I am Lyall Williams,
A Red-Tailed Hawk.