I'm The Lowly Villain In The Game | Chapter 5

「Completed memories」

Christmas day.

"She's taking too long…"

A visible white mist leaked out of my mouth as I breath out. It was too damn cold. Didn't Rose say she'll be done in a few minutes?

BZZZ—

My phone buzz in my pocket. Turning it on, the bright light of the screen almost blinded me. I hurriedly lowered it down and checked the notification with squinted eyes. 

[Incoming Call : Rose Hart] 

Clicking the accept button, I lean the phone towards my right ear, calming my breath. Soft rustling was heard from the background before stopping completely. 

-Hello?

A sweet and innocent voice, similar to honey, clung to my ears. My lips curled subconsciously as I heard the voice I wanted to hear the most.

-Lukas?

"Y-yeah, I'm here. What's up, I don't see you." 

-Uhmm… I'm scared.

"Sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you?" 

-…

"Hello, Rose?" 

-I said I'm scared!

"Hahaha…" 

I burst out laughing at her frightened yet angry voice. I could imagine her pouting from the other end of the phone, displeased at my teasing. After a moment, I place the phone in my ear with quick, shallow breaths. 

-… 

"I-I'm sorr- Pft…" 

-I hate you. 

"Okay, okay. I'm really sorry." 

-… 

"Where are you right now?" 

-At my room… 

"You haven't left…?" 

-It's higher than I thought. I got scared. Sorry for making you wait.

"Mhm. You better be. It's freezing here." 

-Sorry… 

"Just wait. I'll be there." 

-Okay… 

Ending the call, I started running towards her house. The cold breeze caressed my face but I paid it no mind. I was more excited to see Rose more than ever. 

 The original plan was to meet up at the place I was just at. It was a hidden spot in the neighborhood that only me and Rose knew of. A secret location of ours. However, she suddenly felt scared. 

It was understandable. 

It was the first time we were doing something so... risky. We were always well-mannered so I could understand Rose getting cold feet. Heck, even I almost gave up trying to get to the spot. 

The reason for our rebellious behavior was simple. We wanted to see each other. That was all. This was the first time we celebrated our Christmas day separately after all. 

My parents had work in the afternoon and Rose's parents had work in the morning. The two schedules didn't line up so we had to celebrate our Christmases separately. 

I wanted to celebrate at Rose's and she too wanted to celebrate at my place but my parents said that we've been too close and we can always celebrate tomorrow. Naturally, as stubborn as we were, we decided to hold a secret celebration when it was dark. 

Of course, the likelihood of us getting caught was high if we tried to leave normally, so I made a makeshift rope using my bedsheets to exit the house via my window. Since my room was at the second floor, the height scared me. I guessed that's what Rose was freaking out right about now. 

It was dark. Way too dark. Only the street lights illuminated the otherwise dead streets. It was eerily quiet. No one was here and only the faint sound of the wind and lights resounded. Must be because we chose to sneak out near midnight. 

Running back to Rose's place, I look up to the second floor of their house. The lights were still on. I take out my phone and dial her number. In three rings, she answered. 

-Hello? Are you here?

"I am. Open your window." 

Hearing my words, the window to her room opened. There she stood. It's crazy how much I missed her despite seeing her yesterday. A soft smile donned her face as she saw my figure. In return, I respond with a smile of my own. 

-So… What now?

"Did you do what I asked you?"

-Mhm… But it's way too high.

"Alright. Here's what you'll do…" 

Instructing Rose of what to do, I first told her to bind the makeshift bedsheet rope to her desk. I've been to her room a couple of times so I knew the layout. Then, I told her to throw the rope out of the window. It was long enough to reach the ground. 

-… Now what? 

"You're going to have to go down Rose." 

-Lukas… I can't. 

"Calm down. I'll be below incase you fall. Just trust me, okay?" 

-… 

-Okay. I trust you. 

Going to where the rope was, I anxiously waited. Soon, rustling and creaking was heard. It was Rose. Even in the dark, I could make out her shaking figure. She seems more scared than I expected. 

"Take it easy Rose. I don't want you to get hurt." 

-I know. But you'll save me if something does happen? 

"…" 

"I will." 

Her trembling legs seemed to ease a little at my words. Then, she started descending. It was slow but steady. I watched her closely. I wasn't taking any risks. 

HONK—

"Kyaaa!" 

 Seeing her falling figure, instinct came over as I spread my arms. Luckily, she was only a few meters high, meaning her momentum wasn't that much. This was still going to hurt though… 

THUD—

"Ouch!" 

"Ow…" 

A sharp pain ran across my entire body as I collapse into the ground. I was seriously blaming my low initial STR stat. Damn it. I had to use my entire body to break her fall. It hurts so much. I hope nothing's broken. 

"Lukas! Are you okay?!" 

"I had better days. And… As much I like our current position, can you move?" 

Rose was on top of me. She was literally trapping me with her weight. I didn't say anything though. I knew how sensitive she was about her weight. She doesn't seem hurt, which was a relief. I couldn't say the same for me though. 

Realizing our current position, her rosy cheeks dyed a deeper shade of crimson as she jumped out of me, much to my relief and slight disappointment. She started patting my body up and down. When she realizes I was fine other than some bruises, she sighed in relief. 

"Seriously. What was with that car?" 

"I know right! Why are you making so much noise in the middle of the night!?" 

Her cheeks puff in annoyance. Intrusive thoughts won as I poke them with my cold fingers. It deeply sank into her soft skin as the air dispersed. 

CHUUU—

She looked stunned at my action. Honestly, I was the same. 

"What was that for?" 

"Just cause…?"

"Jeez… You're lucky that you're the only guy that I'm fine with doing that."

"Really?"

"Really." 

"To be honest, same." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I wouldn't risk a back injury to save some random girl other than you." 

"…You!" 

She started hitting my chest. Her small fist creating small thuds near my heart. Of course, she controlled her strength. Otherwise, I would be screaming in agony rather than laughing. 

The sheer ridiculousness of our sneak out must have gotten to us as we started laughing together. After we were done, I stand up and extend my hand to Rose. 

"We'll be late. Let's go." 

"Mhm…" 

For some reason, her smile was off. Was it the dark or was I looking into things too much? Shaking my head off, I tighten my hold on Rose's hand and guide her to the place. Our secret place. 

The dark night sky seemed to engulf us. Only the light reflected from the moon was visible for us. But for some reason, I wasn't scared. Recalling the sensation of my hand intertwined with Rose's, my worries were redundant. 

Rose followed behind me. Her steps more cautious than mine. She's awfully quiet. It was unlike her. I hope this trip cheers her up. 

""Whoaa…""

A starry night. That was the most appropriate word to describe the scene in front of us. Countless stars flickered in the night sky. The little specks that illuminated were all but endearing to my eyes. 

Turning my head to my right, I saw Rose looking at the very same scene I was enthralled by. Her silky and fluffy red hair rested on her shoulders beautifully. Her eyes twinkled in amazement as she viewed the various constellations. 

Thump—

Thump—

My heart started racing. Each beat resounding to my ears. I felt hot and humid despite the cold. Every inch of my body tingly. I bet my whole face was red. 

Seriously… 

This girl is going to be the end of me.

She noticed my stare. Then, she glances at me. A small look of surprise was seen in her face before turning into a bright smile, a smile directed at me.

My heart pounded once again. However, this time, it was more violent, to the point where I felt it to my ribcage. I was starting to believe I'd get a heart attack because of her. However, out of the blue, a complicated expression gloss over her face. 

I was puzzled. We were still standing, so I still held her hand. I tighten my hold on her hand, alerting her. Her previous visage disappeared as her warm atmosphere came back immediately. 

But I wasn't one to be fooled. 

"Hey." 

"W-what is it?" 

"What's wrong?" 

"… It's nothing." 

"It's not nothing. You've been distracted since we got here." 

"…"

"Is it something you can't tell me…?" I could hear the disappointment in my voice. She flinched, shaking her head desperately. 

"N-no… It's something that's been in my mind…" 

I sat down on the ground. Rose followed me. Our hands still intertwined together, warming each other in these cold times. I stood there patiently as I wait for her to speak. 

Moments passed. No words were said. Only the comfort of our presence alleviated the rising tension. Then, what seemed like an eternity, Rose spoke. 

"Lukas, will you stay with me…?" 

"Hm? What do you mean?" 

"… I-it's just that this is the first time we've spent Christmas separately."

"…"

"I don't know what'll happen in the future. I always thought that we would always be together, like always, but we haven't talked much lately… Who knows, we might not meet next year or the year after that… It might reach the point where we won't see each other anymore." 

"…"

"I-I'm scared. Scared of you leaving me all alone. Scared of the future. And scared that what we have will change…"

"Lukas… Will you please stay with me?" 

I never thought she felt that way. Sure, we haven't talked much lately. We also never get to see each other in school. It's almost like we were slowly drifting apart. 

However, I knew the reason. 

After all, I was the cause of it. Rose was talented. So talented. I didn't have an inherent skill like her, and my initial stats were trash. I only had my wits and intelligence to catch up to her. A clear case of inferiority complex. 

But now… As we slowly grow older and smarter. I'm starting to realize the difference in status between us. 

I ignored these worries of mine. I was fine with watching her shine in the spotlight. But, to think she'd noticed my actions. I tried to be subtle, but she caught on to me. 

It was ridiculous. 

Once again, I fell in love with the girl in front of me. I fell in love with the thoughtful girl who would think about her talentless childhood friend. 

"Hah… Idiot." 

Grabbing her shoulder with my right hand, I exerted enough force to make her lean on my shoulder. Her body heat transmitted to mine as a gentle and soothing warmth spread throughout my entire body. 

She didn't resist. Only resting her head to my shoulder as she silently weeped. She trusted me with her worries, her troubles, and her weakness. I won't betray that trust. Not now nor in the future. 

"I will. Forever and always. I'll stay with you." 

We both looked in the starry night in silence. But instead of the tense and rigid atmosphere, all that was left was a serene and mellow one... 

---

"Wake up!" 

A pillow hit my face at full-force. My consciousness immediately woke up. Confusion came first. Then, it slowly turned into rage. Unsolicited rage. Who thy disturbs the sleep of the ancient one? 

Grabbing my pillow, I assaulted the perpetrator with brutal efficiency. The countless experience and knowledge of my time in Vanittas Online utilized in full as the culprit was hit in the face, body, and limbs ruthlessly. No shed of mercy seen in every strike. 

"Why are you hitting me!? I'm trying to wake you up!? W-wait! not my head! I just added my makeup!" (Amy) 

Taking that as a surrender, I withdraw my pillow and looked at Amy as she covered her head with both her hands, in fetal position. Her hair was a tangled mess, courtesy of me. Noticing I stopped attack, She slowly raised her head, glaring at me with barely concealed anger. Then, her visage turned into confusion and worry. 

"Wait. Are you crying?" (Amy) 

What. 

Touching my face, small drops of liquid were dripping down my face. I was crying. But why? I was angry just a moment ago but now I felt inexplicable sadness. As if someone ripped my chest wide open and took my heart. I was confused, dazed, and sad. It was too much so early in the morning. My throat constricted, my face mirroring my emotions. 

"Hey… Are you oka-" (Amy) 

"Lukas! Amelia! Breakfast is ready!" (Mom) 

Amelia's words were interrupted. I could tell what she was saying by her concerned expression and words. I was also confused. Sighing, I walk over to her and started ruffling her hair. 

"I'm fine, Amy. Just had a bad dream." 

"Hmph. Don't call me that… Anyways, I'm going to go now. Don't be late." (Amy) 

Amy was her nickname in the household. She told us not to use it as it was childish but unbeknownst to her, we use it whenever she wasn't here. I'm the only one brave enough to use it in front of her. 

She doesn't seem convinced by my words but I honestly don't know why I cried. It may have been a dream since I don't remember it, but what dream could make me cry so badly? 

Shaking my head, I head over to my desk and started fixing myself. Drool hung to the side of my left cheek and a nasty bedhair could be seen. I spent a solid 5 minutes fixing them.

Heading down to the dining room, I saw the image of my family waiting for me. Amy scrolling through her phone, dad placing the plates and utentils, and mom transporting the food. A lazy smile made its way to my lips as I greeted them. 

Breakfast was great. We had a classic English breakfast. My only complaint would be Amy with her transferring her beans to my plate since she didn't like them. 

After breakfast was done, I took a shower. Since Amelia needed more time, she woke up earlier to take a bath and style herself. I feel bad since she had to redo her hair again because of our pillow fight earlier… Well, serves her right for shoving a pillow to my face. 

Anyways, I finished showering up and put on my uniform. Bidding farewells to my parents, I started walking towards Vanitas High. The distance is around 15 minutes on foot. 

I remember Rose wakes up earlier than me, so she might be at school already. Wait… 

I begin to dig through my memory. The more I dig through, the deeper my lips curled upwards. 

I had fully assimilated with Lukas' memories. 

My one disadvantage being my lack of common sense is now gone. Also, my personality has changed, albeit slightly. It seems me and Lukas were originally compatible. Actually, saying it's Lukas' memories is weird. It's like talking to myself in the third perspective. 

"Hahh…" 

A deep sigh left my mouth. Memories of Rose, our relationship, and the events leading to our estrangement were all reflected in my mind. I knew the real reason why me and Rose fell apart, but she wouldn't listen to me. No one did. 

Because of this, I became desperate. Desperate enough to rekindle our fading emotions and our failing trust. In the end, all it did was hasten the demise of our relationship. 

Some part of me wants to show Rose the truth. The real reason why what happened happened. But I couldn't do so. For one, she won't listen to me. I didn't have evidence and she didn't bother caring. And… 

The damage was already done.

The past was the past. I had to deal with that. No amount of evidence and apologies could repair the bridge that we utterly destroyed. The past 4 years have been a constant stream of trauma and agony for me. 

I was better off because I transmigated. But if it didn't happen, my mind wouldn't be as stable as it was now. If I didn't transmigate… I would probably would have end up as the very same Lukas that the game had. 

Depression was a deadly poison. Your perspective in life becomes limited and dull. All hope for coming back to a colorful life turning null. Everything you do and act upon becomes a hazard. And all your actions only make you feel like you're worthless. 

That was what I felt back then. Dull and colorless. Without a purpose in life. If Lukas, who experienced this for 4 years straight, he would have collapsed in on himself. No he already did. 

A sad tale for an otherwise lowly villain in the game. To think someone who the players believed to be nothing more than a nuisance had such a backstory. Just the thought of it fills me with dread. 

I forcibly stop my mind from spiraling down to the rabbit hole called mental instability. Just because I was better off didn't mean I was in the clear. I still had to pay heed to my own mental health to ensure I wouldn't fall. Luckily, with Nando's, my family, and dungeon exploration, I should be fine. Their comfort will undoubtedly heal me. 

Before I knew it, I made it to my classroom. Opening the door, I try my best to appear as inconspicuous as possible. I walk to my seat and sat down. Taking out a random book, I started reading. 

Hm? 

I closed the book. Glancing around, every student was looking at me. But instead of the curious looks from yesterday… 

They were all looking at me with blatant contempt.