3. Colourful Woods
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“What do you mean you don’t know the way to Alenia’s Sanctum?!”

I asked the plump man behind the bar.

He looked me up and down once more with his disgusting eyes. I was trying to ignore it, but his lecherous glances were wearing my patience thin and made my skin crawl.

For some reason locals were extremely uncooperative, bordering on hostile. 

It was strange really, the people of Sunvale were renown for their calm and chalorous demeanor, but as soon as we mentionned Alenia’s residence, people turned cold as ice.

Our mission was to deliver a message to the order’s contact deep within the Blossom woods, but the land was overgrown and difficult to navigate for the un-initiated. Which both I and  Galvian were, so we had no choice, but to rely on the locals.

“Look we really need to get there. Our employer needs that fertiliser as soon as possible.”

Galvian pleaded.

Our cover story was terrible. Fertiliser. That’s what we supposedly wanted. 

Our ‘master’ allegedly had a very precious flower which was waning and we needed to procure it the ‘best soil in the kingdom’. Honestly, I think the cover story was also part of our punishment.

“Look girly, they come down twice a week. Yesterday n’ two days from now. Ye can wait here and get yer fertiliser, or ye can suck on  ye shoiny coins and sod off”

This cover story sucks, this cover story sucks. I repeated mentally to myself.

From Galvian’s expression, he was just as close as I was to smack some sense into this innkeeper.

“Aye, wee Philips! What’s da noise about?”

An old man asked as he entered the otherwise empty inn.

“Nothin' Ol’ Maes. Just some big city wig trynna git in da woods.”

The Innkeeper gumbled reluctantly.

“Aye? Why’s that?”

The old man continued as he slowly walked toward the counter.

Seeing an opportunity to speak to someone sensible, I cut in.

“We need some high quality fertiliser. Urgently. Our master is the owner of a rare plant and wishes to save it at all cost.”

The old man tilted his head curiously.

“A rare flower ye say? What flower?”

He asked.

“A S–s–...”

I felt my cheek turn red instantly as I tried to say the name.

This was so humiliating.

“A S–?”

He insisted.

Come on Hersia, you’re an adult! You can say these things!

I took a deep breath and let it out.

“A S– Saria’s tear...”

As soon as the words came out of my mouth I could hear the innkeeper and Galvian repress laughter.

“Randy sod, ye master, ain’ he?”

The old man said with an amused smile.

“I– I will make no comments…”

Saria’s tears. One of the goddess of matrimony’s miracle… Or so they say. It is a plant known for its impressive properties and is especially sought after by nervous newlywed couples. It is said to be especially useful for those who suffered in poor bedding performance.

In other words, Saria’s tears is one of the world most, powerful, effective, renown and expensive aphrodisiac.

My cheeks turned bright red as Galvian and the innkeeper exploded into laughter. I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at what I said, or at me.

“Settle down, settle down. Children these days I swear.”

The old man said while  waving in their direction.

“The lord’s shoddy performance ain’ the girls business… Well even if it is, ‘tis none of mine.”

He continued jokingly.

The other two only roared louder while I could only stare at the floor awkwardly. 

Maybe I should give up this whole knight business after all. Get married, settle down on some land somewhere, have a dozen kids. Anything other than this humiliation.

“Alright, alright..!”

The old man said again, waving at the air while the two men tried to calm their laughters..

“Enough jerking about…”

He added maliciously.

Galvian chuckled again, but one swift elbow in the guts on my part silenced him and sent the right message to the rest of the room. 

I looked back at the old man.

What is his game here, I wondered? Yet he didn’t look back at me and simply spoke.

“Aight, enough roundabout. Yungones, I’ll be your guide.”

“R–Really???”

Galvian managed to ask between two laborious breath.

“Ye can’t be serious, Ol’ Maes! Ye…”

“I would be forever grateful for your assistance, sir. When can we depart?”

I quickly cut the innkeepers' complaints short. 

This was the first of these villagers willing to guide us, and I wasn’t about to let this opportunity slip.

“Hahaha! Yungones! So full’o life! Aye, we can go now!”

He declared before turning toward the door.

“Nay nay nay! Ye not going nowhere!”

The innkeeper yelled before turning to me just as we were about to follow ‘Ol’Maes’.

“Forgive me, but this a mistake. Ye can’t go with Ol’Maes!”

I sneered.

“And why’s that? Because he’s the only person in this forsaken hole willing to help a pair of travelers?”

He shook his hands.

“Nay nay! Ye can’t go cos Ol’Maes…”

Suddenly a loud thump was heard at the door.

I turned around just in time to witness Galvian catching the old man after he had ran head first into the doorframe.

“...Is completely blind…”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Silly me, forget where door was! Ha! Ha! Aight yungones, let’s go stretch our legs!”

I could only grunt in response as I begrudgingly followed the old man out of the inn followed by Galvian.

The old man somehow managed to lead us toward the forest and we started down one of the dozen beaten path through the thick and colourful forest.

The day wore on and the amount of seemingly random turns we took through these confusingly thick woods became more frequent and erratic.

“Are you A B S O L U T E L Y sure, this is the correct direction?”

Galvian asked for the enieth time.

“Ai. Yungones these days, got no patience!”

The old man responded with a mocking tone.

“Then humor me, old timer…”

I begun asking between two laborious breath.

“How exactly are we supposed to trust your direction if you’re as blind as a bat?”

I stopped walking for a second and wiped the sweat that had accumulated on my brow.

The old man, probably having noticed the lack of huffing and puffing, also stopped in his tracks and faced us. He lifted a finger and tapped it on his nose.

“It’s the smell.”

He said as a smile drew itself on his lips.

“The smell?”

I asked again, having a hard time believing him.

“That’s right. The smell. In the wider lands, Alenia may be known as the goddess of harvest to most, but to us who have grown at her doorstep, we know her under a different name: the goddess of fragance… But I’m sure your master woulda told you as much.”

He said in an amused tone

I grit my teeth.

Is he playing with me?

“So you’re telling me you’re ‘smelling’ the way to Alenia’s sanctum…?”

The man started laughing hysterically at my question.

Galvian and I both looked at him disapprovingly. The summer heat making us increasingly unreceptive to the man’s humorous nature.

Really, what’s his game? Why bother guiding us through the forest in the first place? I was starting to regret my hasty decision to follow a blind man through a forest just to spite an innkeeper…

Perhaps there was something more to learn from this? A pattern of impulsive behaviours leading to less than optimal results, maybe?

The old man continued laughing for a moment before finally catching his breath.

“Nay, nay, yungones! I ain’t smelling a place! None can do that! Nay, I’m smelling for them.”

“Them?”

Galvian asked nervously.

Oh Alenia, forgive my impudence, but I suddenly don’t wish to see your sanctum anymore.

I gripped the sword hidden under the thick coat wrapped around my waist.

“Hahaha! That’s right! Oh they’re getting closer as well, shouldn’t be long now.”

The old man declared before continuing to walk, but we didn’t move an inch. 

The smell. 

The ‘fragance’. 

We could smell it now. Tentalizing at first, but then menacing as it grew. Like the sound of a thousand hooves in the distance growing louder and closer every second.

Galvian drew his sword first, but I didn’t have time to look back toward him before I noticed something move in front of me. I drew my sword and parried an almost imperceptible strike in the same motion.

It took me a moment to even register what had just happened. 

To my eyes, everything had looked normal in this humid forest trail, but now I could see them. The trees, they were moving. A long branched flew in my direction and with a swift strike, I was able to cut it with the edge of my blade right before it made contact. I tried, to reposition my feet, but my movement felt restrained, I looked down and noticed the grass were sticking to my boot. I hastily kicked them away and backed  out into the dirt road.

“Hersia! This is baaaad!”

I heard Galvian say with a trembling voice.

I heard his sword make swift and low movement, probably striking at the grass.

It was. It was bad. 

These were definitely Alenia’s blessings, and we were right in the center of the thickest forest on this side of the continent.

“Mae–”

I tried to call out to the old man, but he had disappeared.

“That old… If we make it out of here, I will turn his hide into boots!”

I swore, but quickly took a deep breath.

Calm down Hersia, we need to take control.

“Meiriem, Meiriem, oh Meiriem, Meiriem.”

I whispered, as I took in a deep breath. 

I decided to focus on the smell. It was the same smell as Lake Alenia’s water. A pleasant smell, reminding me of my childhood and my family. When all this is settled perhaps I’ll visit them? That would be nice.

My head now clear, I turned to my partner.

“Galvian, lets stay calm and focus.”

Immediately as the words left my lips, I felt the tension leave my temples. My vision became clearer. The sound of the forest, quieter. Now, I could see everything clearly.

“Graced be thy name Meiriem.”

I thanked the gods of love for their blessing.

I could hear Galvian’s breathing steadying behind me as he backed up until our shoulders were mere inches away. 

Nothing was moving for the moment, but my now sharp ears noticed the sound of feet among the trees surrounding us. 

One set of feet. Two, three, four... Thirteen in total.

I shook my head. 

We’re completely surrounded. 

I loosened the grip on my sword before sliding it back into its sheath.

“We surrender!”

I loudly declared as I raised my arms skyward. 

Galvian looked at me hesitantly for a moment, before slowly following my lead. 

Although not as familiar with Meiriem’s blessing as a kin such as myself, he had probably also understood from the sound that the odds were not in our favour.

After a few moments. The steps grew closer and they emerged from the shadows.

Long and flat ears emerging from hair the same yellow as wheat covering their skin the colour of fertile ground, there was no questioning it, these were Aleniakins.

An older woman slowly walked up to me and only stopped when her nose was mere inches from my face. She looked me up and down with her bright green eyes.

“It good ta see da despite yer lack o’ manner, yare na stupid, kin.”

She said while a sarcastic and unamused smile drew itself on her lips.

“What ya got ta say fo’ yer self, sword hound?”

She nearly spat in my face.

Think, think Hersia…

Ha!

“M– My master lives in a blue Morrow manor.”

I said in a shaky voice.

She looked at me incredulously.

“Ah?”

Damn, maybe I didn’t say it right?

“My. Master. Lives. In a blue. Morrow. Manor.”

I slowly said, but it only seemed to annoy her further.

“And wha’ do I care about yer cursed–”

“Oh, I kno’ yer master!”

A woman stepped into the conversation.

“He da one with da blue nose, roight?”

She continued.

That’s her. Our contact.

“T–That’s right! We’re here for uhm… His uh… Fertiliser and such!”

I responded nervously, hoping my tone wouldn’t betray me.

“Well, why ye didna say so! Come on, kin. Lets get yee a cup’a tea. We got much ta talk about.”

She said before grabbing me by the arm and dragging me away from the confused eyes of her fellow Aleniakins.

Behind me I could only hear the awkward ‘sorry’ of Galvian as he made his way through the Aleniakins toward us as I was dragged further into the forest by our new friend.

Hey all!

Thank you for reading My Quiet Life!

The Blossom wood is the holy residence of Alenia, but also it's kin, and in result the locals speak an older and more secluded speech pattern commonly used by the kins of the regions. 

It's not specifically inspired by any actual real world 'dialect', but I'm sure many you will find similarities with different regions in the anglo-world.

I hope it's not too difficult to read :x

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