“You don’t look much like a snake.” Kalia commented, holding herself a bit cautiously.

 

“I don’t feel like one.” The shadow said, shrugging.

 

Kalia inspected the figure further, taking note that it lacked the silhouette of hair or clothes. Was it some sort of astral projection maybe? Either way, it was certainly a grander being than her.

 

“Which god are you?” Kalia asked. “I mean no offense, but I didn’t pay much attention in church.”

 

The figure laughed, or, something did at least. Kalia couldn’t tell exactly where its voice was coming from.

 

“So small and cute! So innocent! Oh, I have missed humans!” It giggled. “Always so quick to come up with assumptions.”

 

“Hey, who’s the small one here?” Kalia posed, perhaps unwisely taking a step towards the figure. She had about 2 heads of height over it. 

“And I’m far from innocent, if that’s what you were looking for. Throw me back and find another sucker, please.”

 

Even though there was still quite a distance between them, the figure stepped right in front of Kalia in less than the blink of an eye.

 

“Oh, but you are!” It said, playfully poking Kalia’s nose before she could react. “You ask questions, which means that you expect answers. And that means you expect the truth, or at least part of it. Isn’t that foolish?”

 

“I think that you can tell just as much from a lie as you can from the truth.” Kalia said after she had leaped back in shock.

 

“Ah, but you’re still placing trust in me to act in a certain way.” The figure posed, raising the silhouette of a finger. 

“You expect to relate to me. You trust me to act in my own benefit, if not for yours. That’s innocence: placing trust in some- thing that barged its way into your head to act a certain way. You don’t even know what I am.”

 

“So what the hell is that supposed to mean? Do you not act for your own benefit?” Kalia asked, puzzled. “What kinda backwards star-kid are you?”

 

The shadow sighed. Or it did something similar. Possibly.

 

“No, no. I’m very self-serving. Quite the hypocrite, I know. But hey, that’s to be expected from a child, right?” The figure shrugged.

 

“Uhh… right.” Kalia said. Not exactly following what the shadow was trying to get at. 

“So what was the point of that whole tirade then?”

 

“To point out how human you are. Asking questions to a mind-trespassing shadow like it’s your next-door neighbor. You probably think you're special even, for standing your ground and looking the unknown in its lack of a face instead of totally freaking out.

The figure ranted, pointing its starry finger right at her again.

“But you aren’t! Literally no human I’ve met has ever tried to run from me. Each one calls themselves ‘courageous’ or ‘curious’, when really all they’re doing is demonstrating how little they care about their own flesh!”

 

“Yea, but you turned out to be pretty reasonable for an unknown.” Kalia pointed out. “Kinda bratty, even. Like your shape would suggest.

 

“Hey, I told you already. It’s because I’m human too!” The figure toted proudly, placing a hand over its heart. “Just a little, anyway, but it’s enough to get your mind to skim over the whole ‘shadow monster’ part.”

 

“Mm, I guess. But you’re also in my head. Not really much I can do but ask questions.” Kalia said. “You ever going to get around to telling me who you are or what you want, Mr. Not-a-snake?”

 

“Ugh. Fine then, Miss patience.” The figure huffed back.

“I’m the First Orphan, and I bring you; Kalia Osmyl, a gift. Before I give it, though, I need to know that you are the right fit for it.”

 

“Wait, like a ‘gift’ gift? Like how the church insisted our unique traits were divine blessings? I knew it, you are a god!” Kalia exclaimed, though not with great enthusiasm.

“Damn, I guess I should have paid attention to the nuns after all.”

 

“Wait, from what I gathered up until now you didn’t believe in gods.” The figure said, its head tilting slightly.

 

“Oh no, I think everyone believes that the gods exist in some manner. I just don’t believe in worshiping them.” Kalia corrected. 

“A god should be strong enough not to care what regular people think of them. Plus, it's a waste of time on my part given how little time I have left.”

 

Suddenly, the figure looked about as intrigued as it would be possible for someone without a face to look. It slid towards Kalia, not even bothering to step forward.

 

“What do you mean by that?” It asked while doing what would be an intense stare if it had eyes.

 

“Oh fuck!” Kalia exclaimed, cupping her mouth and muttering “Why did I say that?” Under her breath.

 

For a moment, Kalia thought that the gaze of the being upon had shifted slightly. Perhaps if it had a mouth, it would have smiled.

 

“The truth flows more freely for those in my presence.” The shadow’s voice echoed. “And you have told me exactly what I’ve needed to hear.”

 

As the child’s voice sounded from all around Kalia, one by one the stars above began to fade. The dark, barely held away by starlight was now encroaching up Kalia’s limbs and thickening the space around her to the point of immobility. Still, even as the outline of the shadow itself faded, its voice echoed louder and louder.

 

“I wish for you to live, human. Accept my gift and be blessed with life stronger than that of any mortal being.”

 

The figure’s silhouette had faded, but Kalia still knew that it was there, lurking. She attempted to look around, but her efforts yielded no discernible result now that she could no longer even see her own body.

 

“Shadow!” She called out. “I know better than to accept the charity of mysterious strangers! This is surely a trick of some sort.”

 

“I tell no lies.” The shadow’s voice rang out, drilling into Kalia’s temples. Somehow, something about it told Kalia that it must be true.

 

“Then what if you speak in half-truths? What if the trick lies somewhere in a detail you refuse to tell me?” She asked, attempting once again to spot the figure in her inky surroundings.

 

“You will lose no agency. You will not be controlled. Unburdened by both death and the will of humans, you will be more free than ever before. Choose now, for we are running out of time.”

 

“Then, oh shadow, please tell me. What reason do I have to trust you? I have no idea what godly tricks you could be playing on my mind!” Kalia yelled next, doubting even her own instinct which told her that the statement was true.

 

The answer came louder than any statement before, yet it sounded as if it came from inside Kalia’s own head.

“What do you have to lose?”

 

The statement sent Kalia mind churning. She thought of her friends. She thought of her future. She thought of what it would be like to waste away, arthritic and fragile, and what strain that would put on those close to her.

Kalia’s friends loved to travel just as much as she did. Would Codrin continue to guide them on adventures while she lay in bed and decayed?

 

Maybe then, it didn’t matter if this was a trick. 

Maybe dying now would be the best option for all of them.

 

And just what would happen if it wasn’t a trick at all?

 

———-

Kalia awoke startled and coughing, an odd sensation of liquid filling her chest.

She sat up at once and the feeling followed her, nearly unbalancing her as it sloshed about. 

Somehow, it was familiar.

 

Right! From the dream!

How did that one end?

 

Kalia rubbed her eyes as she tried to remember and found herself back in her room I. the Middle Mast. On the floor, next to the bed. It seemed like she had tossed and turned just a bit too much.

 

She stood up and was immediately surprised by an odd sensation.

 

Kalia felt weird all over. Wet almost, but not in the fun way. It was like a thick, sticky liquid was clinging to every cell of her body, concentrating most heavily in her core and spreading out more thinly into her extremities.

 

What the hell was this? 

 

“Your soul.” A familiar echoing voice came from nowhere in particular.

 

“OH WHAT THE SHIT!” Kalia exclaimed. “I CAN FEEL MY OWN SOUL? GOD THAT'S WEIRD!”

 

“Shh. Don’t wake your friend.” The voice spoke again. “I can hear your surface thoughts, so no need to make so much noise.”

 

“Oh, and you’re back.” Kalia thought, quickly understanding what the voice wanted her to do. “So souls are real then. Care to elaborate further on that?”

 

“Are you not going to question my presence here?” The voice said as Kalia checked on Thomas to find him still sleeping soundly. “Or my existence at all for that matter? That’s usually the first thing to happen.”

 

Kalia glanced around to see if she could spot the outline of the shadow lurking somewhere in the room, but she found it exactly as she had remembered it.

 

“Nah. I was pretty lucid at the time. Plus, I’ve drunk enough lilywort tea to know that it’s just best to roll with these sorts of things.” Kalia thought.

“Honestly, I’m still not perfectly convinced that you’re real.” She added.

 

“Um. Okay. Anyways. The ethereal substance itself that you’re feeling is called spirit, while soul is the unique collection and makeup of spirit that makes up the ‘you’ part. Spirit can be gained and spent, and if you lose too much, your soul will become fragile and might dissolve.” The shadow explained.

 

“Simpler please.” Kalia thought, massaging her right temple. “I’m not currently in a state to parse what the hell you just said.”

 

“Your soul is your whole entire ethereal body, while your spirit is just the energy it’s made of. If you run out of spirit, you stop existing.” Echoed the voice.

 

Kalia continued to rub her temple as the memories of the dream slowly returned to her. There was a strange pain there, an itchiness that demented her attention.

 

“Wow. Ok. You got any other revelations to drop, oh divine one?” The thought.

 

“I mean… There’s a lot of- Y’know, I’ll just tell you when it becomes relevant, ok? In the meantime, there’s a question I need to answer.” The shadow’s voice rang out.

 

“Ever the tease, huh?” Kalia thought. “Fine. Shoot.”

 

“What is your name?”

 

The question immediately confused Kalia. The being already knew her name. It had said it in the dream.

 

“KaHleila, but I don’t-” 

Her thoughts froze, dead in their tracks.

KHaellia

KalHelia

KaliHela

 

No…

 

Her name was KaliaHel

Her name was Kalia. Her name was Hel.

 

“Are you done yet?” 

 

KaliaHel looked around, angry that the shadow didn’t have a physical form that she could fixate on.

 

“Tell me. What, exactly, is the nature of what you’ve just done to me?” She said aloud, not remembering that she didn't need to.

 

“My creations barely have egos of their own, and newly made, they cannot even manifest themselves in the mortal world. I have attached one to you and you have fused with it, making ‘you’ now both the human ego ‘Kalia’ and my ethereal construct ‘Hel’.”

 

Kalia felt her anger begin to boil as the shadow spoke, but just as soon as it did, something quieted it. 

That something must have been Hel.

All at once, another batch of memories rose to the surface. Hel’s memories.

Memories of a vast black desert under the stars. Memories of the sweet taste of-

 

“As my only current scion, you will be able to use a number of my own abilities in addition to those of Hel. These include manipulation of the subconscious, the alteration of memories, and the ability to physically manifest your spirit in the mortal world.” The voice listed.

 

“Please, this is a lot to go through.” KaliaHel thought.

“I’m still trying to get around the whole name thing.”

 

“I see. It is unfortunate that this time around the host had to be such a blockhead.” The shadow said.

“Look backwards please.”

 

“I’m not a blockhead!” KaliaHel thought, spinning around to look behind her. 

All she saw was the wall.

 

“No, don’t move your blockhead, you blockhead.” The voice said, annoyance being the first tone she had ever detected from it.

“Look. Backwards.”

 

“Huh?” KaliaHel muttered.

“That’s physically impossible!” 

 

“Impossible for a human. Just try.” It said, impatiently.

 

So KaliaHel did. 

 

Light faded from KaliaHel’s eyes as they rolled back into her skull, yet it wasn’t total darkness that they were left in. 

Words written in starlight could be read on the insides of her eyes, listing off a number of things that the shadow had just told her as well as a couple more.

Names: Kalia, Hel.

 

Spirit, ~full, very small.

 

Abilities:

Memory molding - awful

Desire molding -awful

Form molding - bad

Spirit molding - awful

Life strengthening- awful

Life creation - awful

“There, is that easier to understand?” The voice said. “

 

“I guess so?” KaliaHel thought, distracted by the itch at her temples until she read the last ones.

“Hey, uh, what do those last 2 mean?”

 

“They’re the abilities of Hel: to make life from its own invigorated flesh. Don’t ask me any specifics because all the ways these abilities world are entirely based on the ego of the user. They basically work in the way that you’d think they'd work. Also, you're going to be bad at them until you get some experience.” The shadow told her.

 

“Right, I suppose that makes sense. What about my old gift? Did you just include that under the banner of Life Strengthening?” KaliaHel asked.

 

“Oh no. All your human abilities are gone entirely. Sorry about that.” The shadow said.

 

A wave of emotion washed over KaliaHel as she slowly came to realize the implications of losing her gift.

Was that it? 

Really?

 

Flooded with a bizarre feeling, a few tears welled up in the corners of KaliaHel’s eyes. She sobbed a few times, but those sobs quickly turned into the rapid huffs of a laugh.

 

“I- I don’t know what to do? Am I supposed to build a shrine to you and spread your words?” KaliaHel asked. “I can’t exactly see myself as being very good at that.”

 

“If you want to, then go ahead. Don’t feel obliged to, though. I told you that you’d keep your agency.” The voice said.

“If it helps you level your head, I’ve been pestering you about this for over a year now. You only remember this time because you’ve agreed.”

 

KaliaHel wiped her eyes free of tears as a wave of frustration at the shadowy being surfaced again, only to quell just as quickly as it arrived.

“Ah. Thanks asshole. That certainly makes me feel less grateful towards you. Who the hell keeps coming back after a whole year of rejections?”

 

“Your soul was regularly overflowing with more spirit that it could contain and I drank that excess to fuel my efforts. You also had a deep desire for life that made you shine like a beacon, so you were easy to find.” The shadow explained.

 

“Ah, so I was just the lowest-hanging fruit then. Why am I not surprised?” KaliaHel said, rolling her eyes. “Also, you were drinking my soul’s energy? That’s rude.”

 

“I needed to use more energy than I could get just by lazing around, and it would have otherwise just gone to waste anyways.” The shadow explained. “And you can hardly call the act of soul-drinking rude when you’ve been engaging in it as readily as you have.”

 

“Hey! Whoa! Where did that accusation come from?” KaliaHel protested. “I certainly do not-” 

The rest of her words vanished from her throat just as she was about to speak them.

 

“All mortal conscious beings regularly produce spirit faster than they can naturally use it up, but that will never overflow their soul like yours has been doing. So tell me then, how has ‘Kalia’ been doing it? Was it cannibalism? Blood-drinking maybe? Or have you simply been hanging around places with excessively abundant death?” The shadow asked, pausing on each question for KaliaHel to react.

 

“NONE OF THE ABOVE! I- KALIA ISN’T A MONSTER!” She objected, trying as hard as possible to keep her outburst of anger contained within her mind.

 

“Oh? Well then that’s interesting indeed.” The shadow said, a peak of interest being the second tone of voice that KaliaHel had heard from the entity so far.

“You remember it, right? That Hel cannot tell a lie? That must mean that you’ve found another source of spirit somewhere.”

 

KaliaHel thought for a moment, puzzled at just what she’s been doing to energize her soul so much.

 

“Ah! Perhaps you’ve been attempting to breed, but have been unsuccessful?” The shadow said, its voice hilariously devoid of tone.

 

“D-Don’t say it like that!” KaliaHel said, slightly flustered. “Also, you’re a kid! That's really none of your business!”

 

“I am literally the oldest thing you’ve ever seen. Although I understand that age and maturity can be seen as two separate things.” Conceded the shadow.

 

“Fuck you.” KaliaHel said quietly.

 

“Right, well, if you don’t want to eat human flesh or drink their blood, then I recommend you just keep doing whatever it is that you’ve been doing.” The shadow advised.

 

“Wait, you recommended? Do I have to?” KaliaHel asked.

 

“Yes. Since you aren’t mortal anymore, you no longer passively produce spirit. You’ve got to get it from an external source now if you don’t want to dissolve.” The entity said.

 

Seconds pass. Then a few more. Then a whole minute. All the while, KaliaHel’s mind raced, trying to remember as many of the ignored stories the church told her as she could. 

 

“You- You’re a demon. Aren’t you?” She asked nervously.

 

The voice of the shadow laughed, giggling in a way that reinforced its prior appearance as a child.

 

“No.” It said, causing KaliaHel to recall the statement it made in her dream that the entity couldn’t Lie either.

“But now, you are.”

 

A sound in the room caused KaliaHel’s eyes to quickly dart towards it. 

It was Thomas. Waking up and rising to display a rather picturesque example of morning wood.

The memories of Hel then resurfaced in Kalia’s fused mind, causing her mouth to drool at the recollection of the taste of human flesh.

 

No. 

She couldn’t.

She wouldn't let herself.

 

As the shadow said, the ego of Hel was weak. 

And while this incredible want of Hel was nearing overwhelming her, Kalia was already well versed in another desire. 

Perhaps with enough want of her own, this fiendish desire could be supplanted.

Like the demon had said, she had taken the spirit from others before, so she should be able to keep doing it.

 

“Kalia? Are you alright?” Thomas asked her. “You look a little pale.”

 

“I’m great actually.” She reassured him before gesturing downward, at his waist.

“Are you ready to go again?”