Kalia stood still in the dark, her hand still linked through the bars with Aiyn’s as the girl cried.

 

Given that the prospect of death had looked over her from the moment she properly learned about her gift, Kalia had spent quite a bit of time thinking about an afterlife.

She had thought a bit about heaven and hell, but had never really considered them possible because they were the Trinity’s ideas. No, her thoughts about death and what might come afterwards had always just been blind speculations not rooted in the beliefs held by anyone around her.

 

It made her sad, so she’d rarely do it on purpose, but when she did she’d consider everything from nothingness to deification to everything just freezing forever.

And as for reincarnation, she had considered many forms of it as well.

 

“Is everyone reincarnated when they die?” Kalia asked. “As humans again?”

 

“Yes, everyone but you and any other being with an unstable spark. And when they die again it will just happen again, over and over ad infinitum.” The shadow explained condescendingly. “That’s why human lives are meaningless. Their sparks move to a new body when they die.”

 

She thought about how the Jailer’s spark had just vanished without a trace. Has he been reborn somewhere already?

Wait, no, it couldn’t be…

 

Kalia quickly dowsed herself, breathing a sigh of relief that the spark in her own belly felt entirely different to the Jailer’s. It was sharper, more defined. Like the edge of a never-used blade.

No, if he had been reborn, then it had to be elsewhere. A fresh start, unrelated to his old life. Would he still turn out to be an asshole?

 

“…What part of a person is the spark?” Kalia asked, noticing that she couldn’t feel her own spark. “What is it?”

 

Soul laughed. It laughed like a child, giggling like it hadn’t a care in the world.

 

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s the part that looks through your eyes, the part that feels with your hands, the part that uses your mind and body to think and act.” The shadow explained eagerly. “It is the thing referred to as ‘You’ or ‘self’ or by your ‘name’, the destination of all sensation. And in your case it’s broken.”

 

Kalia found herself with a growing sense of dread as Soul spoke in her head. Merely listening to its words was an act of betrayal to her humanity, for she could tell that this knowledge was not meant for human ears. What would she have done if she had known all of this a week ago?

She thought for a while, and eventually came to a conclusion.

 

“This is all… jarring… but I don’t actually think it changes much. The church had been a joke to me for most of my life, so I rejected the notion of an afterlife by principal.” Kalia told the shadow, trying her best to imitate its usual neutral tone. “Apart from the rotten feeling of a missed opportunity, I don’t see my fate as being anything different to what it was before.”

 

Soul was silent for a while, and Kalia could only guess as to why. Maybe it had to take a piss.

 

“…I’m disappointed that you’re not angrier. You’re wasting a perfectly good opportunity to yell at me.” It said, finally.

 

Kalia performed her best attempt at a mental shrug.

“Honestly, that little speech of yours was not befitting a being of your great stature. Spite? Really? How old are you now, ten thousand?”

 

“My existence predates time itself.”

 

“Even better! Why would you even care what I say, being so powerful and having lived so long? I’m not even an insect compared to you!” Kalia exclaimed. “And why should I care either? When it comes down to it you’re still a voice in my head that plays tricks on me and offers bad advice! It doesn’t matter whether you’re real or not, I’d be an idiot for listening to something like that either way!”

 

Soul fell silent again for another short period of time.

 

“You are an idiot, you know? That fact makes arguing with you both boring and pointless. If you were a fish I doubt I could convince you that water was real.” It said, its voice returning to neutral.

 

“Oh, what’s this? Is the devil himself admitting that I’m too stubborn to control?” Kalia said, mockingly but still surprised at the being’s admittance. “Aren’t you supposed to be sneakier than that?”

 

“That’s because I’m not trying to control you, dumbass. I can’t lie either, remember?” The shadow said. “And it was my last scion who instilled the idea in humankind’s memory that demons are subtle manipulators. His power let him control people like puppets. I, on the other hand, have never even stepped foot on the material plane.”

 

Kalia cursed. She had entirely forgotten that the shadow was subject to the lying clause as well.

 

“Wait, no… I’ve seen you! You were in the alleyway! Don’t pull semantics on me by saying that because you were floating!” Kalia protested.

 

“Oh for the love of- No, I’m not trying to mislead you. That body was an illusion that only you could see. I can’t physically manifest myself in the material plane. That’s why I have scions to begin with.” Soul said. 

 

“Oh, the fact that you’re playing with me like a doll just happens to be a coincidence then?” Kalia said. “Stop trying to make it seem like I’m the unreasonable one here!”

 

“Hel, if we don’t get on the same page soon, you are going to get yourself exorcized. The cessation of your existence won’t be pleasant, everything isn’t just going to go black.” Soul said. “You’ll lose your grip on what is and isn’t you as fragments of your spark scatter and disperse across the world. You stop existing because it becomes impossible to point out exactly where you are and where you aren’t, not because you’ll disappear entirely.”

 

Kalia tried to push thoughts of that fate from her head. She’d dodged existential crises before, and she could do it again.

 

“Please, you’re just trying to scare me. You want to be the one to feed me information so that you can mold what kind of thing I’m becoming. I’m not going to let that happen.” Kalia mentally spat. 

 

“I am trying to scare you! How do you think I know that, it’s what happened to all of my previous scions and I watched it happen to them! When you can’t die otherwise, it’s bound to happen eventually!” Soul cried, a muddled mess of emotions in its voice. 

 

“So stop making scions then! You’ll never have to feel that pain and no one will ever have to be put through this bullshit ever again!” She yelled back. 

 

“I’ve tried, but scions are my only way out of the underworld. Without them I’m trapped eternally!” It wailed back. “All that’s there is sparks, flickering by as they travel to new bodies! No matter how long I wait, the boredom gets to me eventually after what must be centuries! Eventually I always end up thinking the same thing again: ‘maybe if I try again things will end differently?’”

 

Kalia laughed, discovering that her astral body could perform actions separate from her physical.

 

“I see now. You’re afraid. For a being like you without fear of death or pain, mundane things like boredom and losing your toys become the scariest things imaginable.” Kalia said.

“God, what a joke! You’ve got power unimaginable for the vast majority of beings and yet all you feel is fear. It’s like you’re a-

 

“A child?” Soul interrupted.

 

Kalia froze. Shit. Fuck. She hadn’t thought this far into it.

She had laughed because she thought she had realized what the Shadow’s deal was, but she hadn’t considered the implications of what that deal meant.

In fact, that had been the very first thing that the being had said to her: that it felt like a child.

Had she gone about this all wrong?

 

“…What’s your end goal here? Apart from something stupid like ‘entertainment’. What do you want your scions to accomplish for you?” She asked. “Death? Destruction? Annihilation or enslavement of humanity?”

 

“If you're asking whether or not I have some grand design in mind, then I don’t. All I want is to see something interesting.” Soul said, the anguish in its voice disappearing just as quickly as it had begun. “And to continue to experience the material world through you.”

 

Kalia thought about the being. About everything that it had said and that it had done to her. There was no question that she was just a toy to it, she had known that much from the start. But how did she feel now that she knew that she was the pawn of a transcendent child rather than an unholy tyrant? 

Maybe the deciding factor lay in the mystery of just how mature this child was.

 

“I know I’m not your first scion, but how many have you had before me exactly?” Kalia asked, trying her best to prevent her hatred from affecting her tone.

 

“That depends on how you look at my past attempts. Overall, you’re my ninth at entering the material world, but you’re only the fourth human I’ve properly turned. I’ve been refining my method and the resulting demon is much more stable when it has prior experience in existing.” The shadow said. “Like I said about cults, usurping is better than creating from scratch.”

 

“And have any of those ‘attempts’ been hesitant to kill and eat their own kind before?” Kalia asked.

 

“No. No one has been able to hold off their urges before, not entirely. Need I point out that you can’t either, despite your novel methods?” It teased.

 

Kalia wanted to refute the being, but suppressed it. If she wanted to inquire into its behavior she couldn’t show hostility.

 

“What about my torment pleases you so much? Does suffering just get you off?” She asked.

 

“I don’t ‘get off’ on anything. The nuances of human emotion are lost on me.” It brushed her off. “It’s just entertaining to see you react to anything, good or bad. The latter just happens to be easier to inspire.”

 

Kalia felt a bit of her anger melt away into annoyance. Less the corruptive and malicious devil that was only whispered about in trinitarian scripture, it seemed like Soul simply took an innocent delight in prodding what little of the world it could reach with a stick. It was still monstrous in a way to wave around that kind over power like a toy, but it wasn’t quite sadistic. Yet.

 

“I see. You barely know what you're doing.” Kalia scoffed, almost disappointed. “I was right to not listen to you, but wrong to fear you. You don’t understand how the human mind works at all.”

 

“Hey, I’m getting better.” The shadow said, not even trying to deny the accusation. “You’re only the third scion to understand speech, all others before were either simple beasts or living natural disasters. Mind’s not my domain anyway; it’s soul, hence the name.”

 

Kalia fell silent for a moment. If she had just won the argument, she hardly felt victorious. Soul had backed off the moment she had found a good point.

 

“So you mean there’s a being out there named ‘Mind’?” Kalia asked, indulging her curiosity. “What, it is a child made of light? No, an old guy?”

 

Soul burst out laughing. It continued for a while.

 

“Ah… ha… If only… No, I’ve only seen it once, but my counterpart took the form of a giant flaming eye with a bunch of arms.” The shadow said. “A bit of a show off, right?”

 

“Wait, counterpart?” Kalia said.

 

A big eye… fire… arms…

The opposite of the demon-making shadow…

Eyes and hands reminded her of the church’s effigies…

And fire was seen as holy…

 

“…God…?” She cautiously asked.

 

“Sure.” Soul replied rather nonchalantly.

 

“Wait, you are the fucking devil! I knew it!” She sputtered. “Fuck, why did I have to be right about that one?”

 

“Eh, I guess I am. Human stories can get pretty screwy after a few tellings. I’d hardly call them accurate.” It said.

 

Maybe it was the fact that she knew the shadow wasn’t actually out to fuck with her, but all of a sudden she didn’t want it to stop talking.

 

“And you said that God's domain is mind? So what, he can control minds? That kinda makes sense.” Kalai said. 

 

“Not in the way you’re thinking about it. Mind is their domain, their territory. They rule it like a king and can corral the peasants, but their control is limited because they can only act through their nobles.” Soul explained. “Angels I guess, since you’re using the terminology.”

 

“And they’re the equivalent of demons.” Kalia surmised. “Do angels eat brains then? ‘Cause that would make a seven-year old me really proud of her guess.”

 

The shadow laughed again.

 

“No, you’re overthinking it, mind and soul aren’t opposites. Our domains work differently from each other and thus we are different as well, but we are not each other's inverse.” The shadow said. “We are just two kings of two different kingdoms with two different names. We have different goals and different strategies. You should be happy that you’re my vassal and not his, because he doesn't give his any of their own territory.”

 

Kalia took a moment to de-construct all of the shadows' metaphors.

 

“Wait, you said this all before. A demon’s power is determined by their name.” Kalia said. “But that doesn’t make sense. How does ‘Hel’ get me pregnant? And you said something about my domain earlier too, about the commands I gave to the jailer. How is that related?”

 

“Well, that’s tricky because the meaning of the term has changed over the years. The ‘Hel’ of your domain isn’t able to replicate the idea humans currently have of ‘Hell’. Namely that it’s an afterlife rather than a brief stop-over on a spark’s journey. A kingdom cannot expand onto the ocean itself.” Soul said.

 

“Wait, slow down. Human ideas determine our domains? How?” Kalia asked.

 

“Ahem.” The shadow said, repeating out the word rather than clearing out its non-existent throat.

“Your domain and your name are one in the same. To spread one is to spread the other, to associate one is to add to the other. Souls are what they are because humans deem them so, and so your domain is whatever humans deem to be Hell. Bar the restrictions imposed by other rules of course.”

 

“So.” It continued. “Baring the afterlife that doesn’t exist, what do you associate with hell?”

 

“Torment of the damned I guess?” Kalia answered.

 

“That’s still reliant on their being damned to torment in the first place. Keep going.” Soul said. “What is Hell to you?

 

“Hell is punishment then. Punishment for whatever the church says it doesn’t like at the time.”

 

“A bit closer I guess. I should tell you that the trinity has done their best to interfere with this. Ignore them for a moment and picture what Hell should be.”

 

Kalia pushed her skepticism aside for a moment. Properly understanding this would help her.

 

“Hell is punishment deserved, retribution ten times over for a truly committed crime.” Kalia said. “Bad enough that they wouldn’t dream of committing it again if they had the chance. No, even worse.”

 

Something clicked in Kalia. A realization. What she had done to the jailer wasn’t bothering her after she learned the truth. For a rapist like him, a fresh start was almost too kind.

 

“Very good, but you aren’t done yet. Now think about what you’ve seen of your domain so far. You have the benefit of working backwards.” Soul said. “How does the power of life relate to this?”

 

Kalia thought back to everything that the island’s sister told her about hell. How it was a place of both extreme heat and cold where the sinful were tortured for eternity by demons.

There! That must have been it!

 

“Hell is the birthplace of demons, the location that all manner of dark and malevolent beasts spawn from. A… And now that location is… Me…” Kalia said, realizing what her words meant only as she spoke them.

 

She couldn’t see the shadow, but she could tell it was smiling. Before she would have thought it sadistic, but now she knew that it toyed with her emotions out of plain curiosity. It simply enjoyed seeing her react.

 

“Don’t act so dour, malevolence from the mouth of the trinity only means a force that runs counter to their standards. That’s ‘Hell’, not ‘Hel’.” It said, “But I’m not so blind as to not notice your concern about this, so please, tell me what you are afraid of.”

 

Kalia thought of her blood father, a parent who couldn’t care less. 

She thought of her mother, a parent who was afraid. 

She thought of Pops, a parent who only ever tried his best but died before he could see the results.

 

“I think I’ve always been pretty good at rolling with life’s punches, but I’m afraid that I can’t handle this.” Kalia said. “I’m afraid that I’m not ready, but I’m also afraid of being changed to be ready. I hate having my choices torn from my hands before I can make them.”

 

The shadow was silent for a while.

 

“Kalia.” It said, referring to her by her human name for the first time. “In the minds of a few, your name has a meaning memorable enough for it to warrant a small domain of its own. It’s my guess that it was that domain, not Hel, that charmed the jailer into submission.”

 

“What are you getting to?” She asked, confused at how it’s words related to hers.

 

“If you want to keep the domain of ‘Kalia’ intact, then you need to ensure that the name is spread to the memories of countless humans. You must grow and change it yourself so that Hel does not change it for you.” The shadow said, its voice echoing from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “If you want to stay on top, you cannot only react.”

 

Kalia let the words sink in as Ayin’s tears began to dry, her grief having worked its way out in the safest way possible.

 

“How are you feeling?” She asked in a whisper.

 

“Bad…” she muttered between heavy breaths.

 

“Do you think that you can walk?” Kalia asked.

 

“Yea.” The girl said after a pause.

 

“Good, then we need to leave as soon as possible.” Kalia said.

 

“It’s dark…” Ayin said, trailing off.

 

Kalia remembered how she felt filled past capacity with the spirit of the jailer. She remembered how much brighter the cave seemed.

She pushed spirit to her face, concentrating it around her eyes until it was just as dense as it had been previously. It made the rest of her body colder, but it worked, and the dungeon around her began to light up in shades of dull gray.

 

“It’s fine, I can see in the dark and can lead us out of here, all you need to do it trust me.” Kalia told the girl.

 

Ayin’s grip around her hand tightened slightly.

 

“Ok. I think I can try.” She said.