Chapter 3:

One Last Day

Mia’s dad was not happy to see me in the slightest. He had taken both of us deep into town, where both Mia and his home resides. The soldiers that were with him had left us to our own devices at the door.

The home of the two is a posh-looking residence. The floors are carpeted, a luxury most of us aren’t able to afford. Gilded candle rods hang from the walls which are colored a moody red. Definitely a home belonging to one of the sixteen heads.

We walk further into the building towards the living room as my body reverts back to that of my normal self.

“So here you are, boy.” He says, sending a chill down my spine. He takes a seat in a dark-leather chair. “Take a seat,” he gestures, and I do so, sitting down in the couch next to me. “Tell me, what were you doing out in the woods at such a late hour? You know leaving town before nightfall is incredibly dangerous.”

“I was gathering herbs for a job.” I can’t help but think of the room as being unbearably hot right now, being questioned about something that may or may not spark some tensions in the territory isn't what I desire.

“Job?”

“So mother could breathe for a while.” I say, “Honestly, I didn’t want to do it, but Bryson talked me into it.”

“Ah.” He says, stroking his black scruffy beard that lain atop his chiseled chin. “And where are these herbs you were out to find?”

“I threw them away.”

“I see…” He pries no further into the issue of the herbs and moves on, “but something else happened, didn’t it.” His eyes examine me as if he’s trying to read a book.

You know what? Screw it, I need to tell him even if the whole ordeal was none of my business to begin with, I had been dragged into it is all. “Darath, we were about to be attacked by the Matranians.” I say in my usual calm and collected tone.

“What?” his eyes widen in shock, “The Matranians?!”

I expected this kind of reaction, in fact, anyone would be surprised by this fact. Especially if you were told that a neighboring country tried to invade in secret. “Yes, they were planning on attacking the village in the middle of the night.” I explain, “And I only happened to stumble across the soldier camp by accident after getting lost in the woods.”

He leans forward, “What did they do?”

“I was found, and killed. However I managed to live, my heart condition had kicked in in time.”

“I see, are they still there?” Normally if someone said that they were killed, they’d think of them as a madman, but Darath understood, in fact I think all of the residents of the capital understood.

“No, I managed to defeat them in battle.” I say, “The narrow-faced swordsman was a respectable warrior, stuck to his word and left the territory.”

“Narrow-faced swordsman?”

“He was a warrior trained in the art of swordplay, his face narrow and eyes sharp and attentive.” I explain, “I fractured his ribs with a kick, and he stood proud.”

“I see…” Darath contemplates for a while, scratching his beard and slowly pacing around the room. “Did you tell him your name?” He asks.

“Y-yes, though I did it out of respect.” I wouldn't have done that if I had remained male at the time, yet if I didn't change, I would have died.

His stern face becomes stone cold, an expression I’ve only once in my life seen. “You’re to leave the territory tomorrow, Tracy.”

I sigh, “What a pain this is.”

“I’m sorry Tracy, but you understand.”

Mia jumps into the conversation, “Why? Papa?! Why does Tracy need to go? They did nothing wrong, they saved the village!”

“Mia!” He raises his voice, “It’s for his sake. Soon, the slime-ball that is the head Matranian will catch wind of the defeat of his troops. He’ll declare this a violation of the treaties, and demand the attacker be executed as a remedy.”

“E-executed?” I stutter. Wonderful. I had raised a death flag on myself, and the only way to take it down was to leave as soon as possible. It can’t be real, right? The man who I call Mr. Narrow face was a respectable warrior as well, or well, in her eyes. So if my other self trusted him why would he tell the head my name? No, wait. There were other people around, like the fur-ball that Mr. Narrow-Face called Kuamo, and the other soldiers. They never gave their words, only Mr. Narrow-Face did.

“But they were to attack first, how would he call this a violation?!” Mia exclaims.

“He has all of the political power he could ever want, he'll just twist the truth and aim it back at us somehow.” Darath explains. “However,” he pauses, “I can lie to him and tell the Head that you had been murdered by demons one night.”

“So, I have to leave home, forever?”

He looks directly into my eyes, his expression unwavering, but his eyes showing his true emotions, sorrow. He’s always been fond of me, so it must truly tear at his heartstrings that I must leave. “Unfortunately... yes. You will have to leave Lefaso, for a long, long time.”

“I understand, thank you for at least giving me time to at least say my goodbyes towards those around me.”

“Tracy…” Mia says, “Let’s get you a new change of clothes, you look like a mess.” She grabs me by the hand and pulls me off the couch. We leave Darath’s overwhelming presence as she takes me upstairs to her room.

***

“What a pain this is.” I rub my temples, as I look around Mia's bright pink room. Nothings really changed in here, from her walls lined with pictures of us together, both of my real self and my other, to the shelves lined with stuffed animals of various shapes and sizes. She really is attached to the past, isn't she? And a change of clothes? She has nothing I can wear, how air-headed can she be.

“You've said that already, Tracy.”

“I've no other saying for such a predicament, Mia.”

“How are you really feeling?” She asks.

“How I'm really feeling?” I've never really put much thought into it, only the annoyances this situation brings me to come to mind. “Nothing.” I reply.

“Hmm? Really?” She walks over to me, matching her face to meet mine. “Now, I really know that isn't how you feel.”

She smells good... “Mia... personal space.” I feel my heart start to beat faster, and I try to push her away.

Unfortunately this doesn't end well for the both of us as we both lose our footing and what do you know? I find myself on the floor, my face being smothered by her chest as she lies on top of me. This situation is enough to get my heart racing a million miles-per minute.

“Ouch.” A dazed Mia pulls her body off of me.

Wonderful Mia... just wonderful. Just the last thing I need to happen to me today.

Quickly my body begins to shrink once more, my long purple hair explodes all over. My chest puffs out ever so slightly, and my waist grows slimmer. The creaking of my bones resizing themselves alongside my organs re-shuffling and junk shifting, sending a pleasant sensation throughout my body.

“Oh, Tracy!” She exclaims, “I didn't mean it!”

I let out a giggle, “of course, I know Mimi.” Of course my other self would shrug that off.

“Well it looks like that change of clothes is more necessary than before.” Mia says before rushing into her closet.

“Try this on.” Mia says as she hands me a gray linen top, pair of shorts and white knee-socks.

I slowly put my feet into the openings of the knee-socks and pull them up. As the name of the articles of clothing entail, they reach slightly higher than my knees. My head easily goes through the neck of the shirt, and the torso is quite baggy. I end up tying the waist of my shirt into a knot and roll one of my sleeves way up. “Is this all you have?” I ask.

“Well, I wasn’t prepared to keep my clothes from when I was fifteen, now was I? And you won't let me buy anything for you.”

Nothing really changed in size with Mia over these three years, but she did grow... outward. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy “Of course you’re bigger than me too.”

“In what sense?” She asks.

“Well obviously in the boobs department,” I look down at my chest, there’s barely anything there, then I look back to Mia’s, “It’s not fair, I’m practically as flat as an Ironing board.” I pout.

She smiles, “I'm sure you'll fill out just fine Tracy.”

I pause, what the hell is going through my brain. “Ughh.” I groan, clutching my head. These thoughts are embarrassing, I shouldn't be having them, I'm a guy after all.

Mia smirks at me “I know Tracy.” She says, as she reaches into her closet once more, “But it really has been a long time since we were together like this. Just girls. You've always seemed happier when we're like this anyhow.” She winks at me.

“I'm not happy like this!” I exclaim.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry for teasing you.” She looks away. “But you're definitely come along better than you were three years ago.”

“I guess... It’s really been three years huh…” Three years since ‘that day’. I can’t remember anything of that day, nor will anyone tell me what happened, but I remember the day after crystal clear. I had woken up in the local clinic, my body broken and bruised. Mia was lying by the bedside, crying in her sleep. Dr. Frank, a gray-haired man who happened to be the best healer and well, only healer in town, was sitting in his office chair, writing away on whatever paperwork he had with his ink and quill. I wince, remembering the pain I was in when feeling had returned to my body. Dr. Frank had told me that I got into an accident, and that I was lucky to even be alive and wouldn’t elaborate further even after asking. After being released from the clinic, Mia barely left my side at all, helping me recover my own strength. Though that motivation for recovery quickly fell when I had seen my other self for the first time, something in my mind was deeply afraid of what I saw in the mirror, causing me to shut down. Soon I found myself doing everything I could to prevent changing into the other me, even so much to a point where I would isolate myself from everyone in the village and sleep most of my life away, the only people that really approached me while I was closed off were Mia, Mother and Bryson.

I still feel that sudden barrage of fear in this form when I do see myself, but I've gotten a bit better with it thanks to Mia's clumsiness and lack of self awareness causing my condition to kick in from time to time. I'm still not a fan of changing though, I don't think I ever will be, so I keep my emotions and heart in check, to avoid the unknown fear that flashes through my mind.

It had been a while since last my other self had shown herself due to my diligence, but the first time I had changed in the past twenty-four hours was a necessary evil to save myself. This second time was an unfortunate accident.

“Let's have a bit of fun before you go.” She says.

“What are you getting at?” I ask, feeling my cheeks go red again.

“Well.” She comes back out of the closet with blue ribbons of various shapes and lengths in her hands. “I thought you might like if I could at least do something with that long tangled mess of hair.”

She isn’t wrong about my hair, it’s very long and messy. If I wasn’t careful enough, I could get it stuck in many places in ordinary life. I would cut it, but my hair grows back the next time I would change, as well as whatever styling I was given reverting. Though I don't want to upset Mia so I agree with her offer.

She sits down behind me and starts brushing away at my lengthy hair.

“It’s a little unfair, you know.” She says.

“What is?”

“Your hair, it’s so long and soft and free of split-ends. You don’t even have to tend to it aside from de-tangling.”

“What you call lucky, I call a curse, Mimi.” Yes, I call her Mimi when I’m a girl. This is just how the other me acts, or what I tell myself anyhow, it's her childhood nickname and hearing my normal body's voice say names like that just feels wrong to my ears. “How I act, talk, walk and breathe. It all changes. It’s a big pain in the butt.” I pout.

She giggles, “Alright, I’m going to tie your hair up now. How do you want it?”

“Surprise me.” I reply.

She did surprise me alright, she used thin ribbons to create two long, thin twin-tails that hang from the sides of my hair, leaving a three way partition of hair down to my ankles. At the end of the center portion of hair was a second ribbon holding it together. And on the top of my head were two other tufts of hair tied together by blue large ribbons.

When she showed me to me in the mirror, all I could do was wonder who this cute girl was looking back at me before I remembered it was the other me, I quickly look away grabbing my arm nervously as the fear tries to take over. This isn't me, it just can't be. But it also felt a bit satisfying seeing the other me in a different hairstyle, I just don't know how to describe this feeling. “Uh- It looks great Mimi!” I say.

“Of course it does, it helps that I have a wonderful childhood friend who I can practice with.”

I turn around to face a smiling Mia and give her a hug. She hugs back, rather tightly in-fact. I can feel her trembling as she slowly lets go of me. “Mimi?”

“Why?” She says. “Why do you have to go? I know you did the right thing and saved us from a surprise attack, but it's just not fair that you're getting kicked out!”

I would pat her on the head and say everything’s alright, but I’m unfortunately shorter than her at the moment. All I can say is, “I’m sorry, Mimi.”

“I-I know it’s selfish.” She holds back a sob, her lips quivering, “But I hoped you’d never leave. I hoped that we would live together, forever.”

“Forever's a long time y’know.” I say, “But hey.” I pause, “On the bright-side, I can go out into the world to find what is wrong with my body. I might even be able to fix it too.” This might be the brightest ray of hope I’ve ever seen in three years, great job other me. “And If you ever uh, leave the territory for a reason, I can come back to you… as a...” I find my breath catching as my brain tries to stop me from finishing my sentence, “You know... not a girl.” I fidget, why was my brain telling me to not finish that.

“Tracy.” Mia sniffles, “you know I like you regardless of form...” she grips tightly on my shirt.

I felt my cheeks go flush, did she just confess to me? I'm a girl right now, not a guy. But wait she said regardless of form so she likes me for who I am? My head buzzes with confusion.

We sit there for a while as she cries, and me in my confused stupor, her face buried in the shirt she gave me. Eventually she goes quiet.

I can feel my stomach now rumbling. Of course I haven’t had a single thing to eat since I had gotten lost, and Mia had been looking for me since early this morning. “Hey, Mimi?”

“Yeah?” She says quietly.

“How about we go to Leo’s one last time.”

“Might as well…” She lets go of me and takes a moment to pull herself together with several deep breaths. “Hopefully Bryson isn’t too busy today, because I could eat a cow right about now.” She smiles.

“Just don’t tell him that,” I chuckle, “He might actually bring you one.” That’s the Mia I know and love.

***

The oh-so familiar sound of the bells on the door ringing echoes throughout the store. It’s rather surreal to me, this will be the last time I eat here. I can’t help but stand there at the door and reminisce about the times I’ve had in this place. All those times I’ve hung out with both Mia and Bryson. All those times where I’ve run away from home and hid myself here. Those times when I’m just talking to Bryson about life. The times when Mia trips on busy work days and her pants fall down in front of everybody. Even those times when I just loitered in the building just to take in the aroma of freshly baked bread and cut meat. They were all important memories to me and this tiny sandwich shop.

“C’mon Tracy.” Mia playfully pushes me forward, out of the doorway and onto the wooden floors of the shop. “Bryson!” she shouts.

Not long after, the noises of pots and pans falling onto the ground ensue in the back-room followed by the man himself shouting, “I’ll be a minute! Dad, where do you keep the swords!”

“Left hall closet,” Old-man Leo shouts.

Swords? What is he doing with those in there?

My questions are quickly answered not too long after as sounds of animalistic screeching can be heard. Must be giant rats again, yuck, I hate those things. Just the way they run along on their tiny feet on the ground just sends shivers down my spine.

I take a quick look around the room to distract myself from the horrid image of those things. The old couple from yesterday are in the same seats from the day before, slowly eating away at their food. They look happy, being able to enjoy mere sandwiches as pandemonium ensues in the back.

“Hey dere Tracy!” I hear Bryson say as he comes out of the back-room, his clothes torn at the hems and covered in soot. He’s holding a great-sword over his shoulder, it’s covered in blood. “Hey…” he says, putting his sword down, “yew changed.” He gestures for Mia and I to sit in the booth by the far back. “I wanna hear what happened.” The three of us sit down, Mia and I on one side, and on the other is Bryson. “This can’t be good news now can it?” I shake my head no. His face becomes stern. “I see…”

Soon after that, we explain the whole mess to Bryson, and throughout the entire explanation his eyes are closed and arms crossed, and his brows furrowed in thought.

“And that’s what happened.” Mia says.

“I see… So do yew have any supplies for the road?” He asks.

“Supplies?” The thought hadn’t crossed my mind until now. If I’m to be sent out of the village, the least I could do is prepare equipment that would last me for at least a week. But there is one problem, I’m poor. “I can’t afford that kind of luxury.” I say.

“Hold on, I have some things for ye to take then.” He gets up from his seat, and heads to the back of the store. A couple minutes later, he comes back with a large burlap sack, its contents rattling as he sets it down on the table. “Here, take my personal traveling kit.”

I find myself opening the sack with childlike wonder, what would he have given me for the road? I find the large structure of a collapsible tent within, it’s of a very fine fabric that’s unobtainable in this region, it must have cost a fortune. Digging further in, there’s a sturdy container of cooking salt and various pots and pans as well as utensils. “It’s your stuff, I can’t possibly-”

“I’m not leaving town anytime soon, and you’ll need it.” He says, “Think of dis as a gift. That tent there is blessed with holy protection, demons won’t be able to touch it.”

Enchanted?! Gods almighty, on top of the exotic fabric it’s enchanted?! He’s giving such a valuable object to me? “But-”

“Tracy, take it.” Mia says, “Make the most of your blessings.”

Hesitantly I agree to taking the supplies. The bag isn’t too heavy, but that might be because I’m my other self right now.

“Don’t worry about breaking it either, it’ll be bound to happen every now and then, dats the nature of a tent.” He says, “Now, how about one last sandwich for the road.” Bryson grins, he must’ve been satisfied, being able to give me such a thing.

“Of course, that’s the reason we came here.” I say with a smile.

“It’ll be on the house.” Bryson walks into the back-room once more.

“It’s so expensive…” I say as I feel the soft fabric. I frown, I can't believe he just gave me something so precious.

“He told you not to worry about breaking it though, Tracy.” Mia says.

“I guess so.” I fidget in my chair, waiting for our food.

Soon, Bryson walks to the table and serves us our sandwiches. Of course they were cheddar and ham sandwiches, that is a given. It’s funny though, this sandwich tastes better than they normally do. But that might just be because of what will come tomorrow. It’s hard not to think of such a topic, after all. Especially if it involves yourself.

I finish the sandwich and Mia suddenly gives me a big-warm hug. Yesterday, I would have shaken her off of me, telling her to leave me alone. But today, I’ve already hugged her multiple times, accepting her comfort, I find it to be soothing to the heart. Here I was, thinking displays of affection would raise my heart rate, yet it makes me calm. Soon I feel my body shifting yet again, turning back to my male self. The ribbons that were in my hair fall out, and the top Mia had given me was no longer baggy, leading to me having to quickly untie the knots used to keep it from falling off and rolling down the long socks. I felt gross turning back, I always do but I don't let it show.

Soon I can’t help but notice Bryson looking away, a stupid grin is on his face. “What?” I say.

“Nothing.” He says with a snicker.

I sigh, “Of course it’s nothing.” It doesn’t take long before I get up from the booth, shove the ribbons into my pocket, take the supplies Bryson had given me and head out the sandwich shop. I want to go home, I want to talk to mother.

“Where are you going?” Mia asks.

“I’m heading home, where else would I have left to go?”

“Well, I’m coming with you.” she says, “to keep your last day from getting any more somber.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She smiles, not saying a word as we walk down the dirt road leading to my home.

***

“Mom, I’m home!” I shout as I enter the doorway of my house. I knew that she wouldn’t respond, but it’s just a habit.

The candles in the entryway are all unlit, making it difficult to see.

“Is it normally this dark?” Mia asks, as she steps onto the wooden floor of the house with a soft creak.

“Yeah.” I answer. Knowing how mother coops herself up in her room twenty-four-seven, I always extinguish the lights to save up on the costs of lighting the house.

I pick up a box of matches on a shelf by the door and begin lighting each one individually, taking care not to trip on any loose floorboards.

“Was your house always this bad?” Mia scrapes her finger along one of the shelves, a thick layer of dust now resting on it.

“Yeah, it's kind of hard to really work around the house when you have a heart condition like mine.” I admit, “you know it’s physical labor.” I look away, ashamed that I was letting something like my condition hold me back.

Mia sighs, “do you have a cloth or something lying about?”

“Yeah, they’re in the kitchen.”

Mia walks off into the kitchen, the sounds of water running and hard scrubbing ensue while I continue to ignite more candles about the house. Later, Mia comes back with an absolutely filthy-dish-rag in her hands, “I just cleaned up your kitchen, it wasn’t in a great condition.”

“I know.” I’m no clean-freak, but the mess in the house has always bugged me, and I can do nothing to help to an effective degree thanks to my condition, or well, I’m not willing to work because of my condition. I don’t want her to surface again.

Mia soon begins to clean everything in the house, making meticulous care not to miss any spots of filth and opening the windows to let whatever dust was to be sent up into the air outside. I had never imagined her to be a neat-freak of all people, but then again, this mess would drive anyone nuts.

I hear the squeaking sounds of a door slowly opening, “What’s all that racket?” A woman’s voice asks.

It was unmistakable that the voice belongs to my mother, Joanne Mitrano. Soon, the door opens all the way, revealing her brown, messy hair tied up in a bun, and large glasses you’d see on a stereotypical book-nerd, though she’s far from a nerd. She’s still wearing her pajamas I remember her wearing from a couple days ago and has dark bags under her eyes. Behind her is her workroom, dimly lit by by a candle that’s on it’s last limbs, I can make out many papers that have either been scrapped or just crumpled out of frustration scattered about on the floor, she really needs to clean up sometime. “Tracy, is that you?” She asks.

It’s surprising, mother almost never leaves her room, especially when she's on a tight deadline. Usually I have to coax her out when she's working if I wanted to talk to her, why is she out now?

“Oh, Mrs. Mitrano!” Mia says, “I haven’t seen you in a long time. How have you been?”

“Mia?” She says, “I’ve been better.” Then Mother turns to face me and grins, “What happened, Tracy? You never bring girls home.”

I sigh, “I know, Mother. It seems I’ve gotten into a load of trouble.” It’s really a pain, having the same thing being explained to different people over, and over again. “Mia, could you get some water boiling for some tea? I think it’s going to be a long talk with mum.” Mia complies and heads into the kitchen to make us some tea.

It should be no surprise that I do own a lot of different kinds of tea, it’s supposed to be good for your heart, and calm your nerves. Thankfully it’s not expensive to buy around these parts.

We sit down in the living room, and I begin to tell my story once more.

Afterwards, she looks out an open window, “I see. And there’s nothing you can do about it… the Chiefs word is final after all.”

“Yeah.”

Mia walks into the room, holding three cups, one for each of us. “Thank you dear.” Mother says as she calmly takes a drink. “I had never expected you to get into such a predicament.”

“It couldn’t be helped, and what’s done here is done.” I say.

“I know, there’s no undoing the past.” Unsurprisingly, mother is as understanding usual. Any other mother would be panicking right now, though I can imagine she is on the inside, after all she does check in on me from time to time when Mia can't during my emotionally off days. She’s always been a level-headed parent, always one to think things through rationally and being rather accepting of whatever strange occurrence that occurs to be normal. It’s why she still cares about me despite my issues, but that might also be motherly love. “Tracy, take the opportunity given to you to find out why your body behaves the way it does.” She says.

“I’ve already decided that’s what I’m going to do.”

I see her crack a smile, “Of course you already decided, you’re my kid after all.”

“Then why ask?”

“You can never be too sure, assumptions aren’t the most reliable things you know.” She says, closing the window. “Now then. If I were to begin searching, I’d head north.”

“What’s up there?” I ask.

“A great library.” Mia says, “you’ve published books there before, haven’t you Mrs. Mitrano?”

“Indeed. Although I’ve never been there myself.” She takes another sip of tea, “Supposedly it’s where all the knowledge of our world has been archived. I would have gone there myself a long time ago, but my job keeps me locked up in the house all day. Ah, I forgot.” She puts her cup down and begins to rummage through a shelf. “Here it is.” Mother pulls out a sliver circular amulet, it's gemstone in the center a soft pink.

She hands me the Amulet, “What's this for mom?” I ask, confused yet simultaneously happy, I'd never been given something like this before. Quickly I realize what I'm feeling and shake it off, I shouldn't be happy for getting something like this, it's not me.

She sees the look in my eye and frowns, “It's a good luck charm Tracy, take it with you on your journey I feel you'll need it.”

Reluctantly, I shove it into my pocket.

“No, no, Tracy.” Mia scolds, “You're supposed to wear it, not keep it in your pocket.”

“I-I'll put it on when I head out tomorrow. Anyhow about that library.” I try to bring the original topic back. “If this library houses information on everything in the world, doesn’t this mean it’s heavily guarded?”

“More than likely it has sections that are cut off from the public. I'm sure you'd be able to find a way in.” She says. I yawn, and mother takes notice, “Mia, could you take Tracy to his room?”

“I’m fine, mother.” I say, “It’s just been a long day is all.”

“C’mon Tracy.” Mia says, “You do need to rest up, once you’re on the road I fear you’ll never get to rest soundly again.”

I don’t resist as Mia takes me to my bedroom.

Ironically, my room is one of the cleanest rooms in the house. Well, it was the cleanest before Mia had cleaned the other rooms. Everything I own, from my bed sheets to the carpet mia had given me as a present one year, are all well maintained. The sole bookcase in my room is lined with various books of all shapes and sizes, and my closet door full of old worn clothes hangs open as I had forgotten to close it this morning. Yes, I did say that I couldn’t help clean the house due to my condition, but somehow I’ve managed to always keep the place I rest clean without strain, plus a clean room does wonders for one's mental health.

“I haven’t seen this room in a good while.” Mia says as she sits down on my bed, it’s old wooden frame creaking as she shifts to a comfortable position. “You never even got a new mattress.”

“It’s all we can afford, you don’t have to put up with this if you don’t want to.” I say.

She shakes her head no, “I wanna be here, it reminds me of old times.” She lies down and stares at the ceiling. “But, looking that far back… It hurts.”

“It hurts?” Please don’t start crying again, Mia.

“Mm.” She rolls onto her side, to face me, “tomorrow, those days are gone after all.” She grimaces, “I’ll miss you.” I can say for a fact that I’ll miss her too, but I just can’t seem to say it to her face. After spending all day with her today you’d think I’d be able to say it. Maybe I’m just not the kind of person to do so, maybe my female self would, but I’m not her right now nor do I want to be. “Do you mind if I sleep over with you today?”

“S-sleepover?” She triggered my condition in an instant, dammit! That’s three times now! I just said that I didn’t want to be her right now!

“Oh!” Mia exclaims, “I didn’t mean that!” She looks away in embarrassment, “I'm not ready for that!”

“Jeez,” I whine, “you really need to watch what you say.”

“But I do mean it!” She says, “Just not in that kind of way... I want to make my time with you as long as possible.”

“I see no harm now, Mimi.” I say, “you’ve already gotten me to change.”

Once the sun sets, Mia and I end up lying together, Mia's now wearing nightwear that she had left for herself in my room a while ago, and I'm wearing a loose fitted shirt and shorts for when I change back. We're both staring blankly at the ceiling illuminated by flickering candlelight. I can’t help but think how things would have been without my condition. Would the Matranians never have tried attacking? Would I be as close to Mia as I am now? What about my family, would I have just been able to live in peace?

“Tracy.” Mia says softly.

“Yes Mimi?”

“I think you did the right thing last night.”

“You’ve said this before.” The mattress sifts as Mia wraps her arms around me. I feel her breasts pressed up against my back. They’re soft.

“I know, but I want you to hear those words again.” She pauses, “Things like that are why I fell for you. Even if you don’t realize it, even if you turn your back to us all, you manage to act in the interest of those closest to you.”

“I do?” Heat quickly rises to my cheeks. “I’ve never acted for others, I only defended myself that night.”

“You willingly approached the camp despite your better judgment. Believe what you want to believe.”

“What I believe?” I say to myself. Soon I hear the soft breathing of Mia, she must have fallen asleep already. She looks so peaceful after everything that has happened, I can’t help but smile to myself. My eyes begin to droop as sleep takes hold of me.

***

Little after the crack of dawn, I’m by the outskirts of the village, and a male once more. I’m wearing the clothes Mia had given me yesterday, fortunately they had the extra space to stretch, and if my form changed for whatever reason I could simply tie up some parts so they wouldn't fall down. The equipment Bryson gave me is hanging over my shoulder, and I bear the silver pendant that mother gave me around my neck.

By the time I had arrived at the capital border, Darath had been waiting for me. He said that he was simply there to see me off, not as the Head of the Alino territory, but as a friend that has known me since I was born into this world. Needless to say, can’t help but feel a tad happy on the inside, if only a little. I'm more annoyed that they won't let me have a horse or something to ride in, but no, apparently everyone marks their horses and wagons with their territory of origins on them. So of course I wouldn't be able to have a smooth journey.

Of course Mia is there as well, though she’s still in her nightware. She says that they’re comfy and she didn’t have a change of clothes on hand aside from those while she was with me.

“Here, Tracy.” Darath hands me a sealed letter, “This is a pass to get through the border.”

“Thank you, please, take care of my mum while I'm gone.”

He nods, “Of course, consider her safe.”

I put the letter somewhere safe and start to walk away.

Soon, Mia and her father become small specs in the distance, and with a goal in hand, I begin on my way north to the border on my lonesome. Thus ending my ideal lifestyle.