I woke up with a splitting headache, my whole body a giant bruise.

 

“Unghhh!” I grunted as I tried to get up, but a weight on my midsection made it impossible. 

 

I looked down to see what was laying on my stomach only to find a gorgeous redhead: Madden.

 

She was sleeping like a pile of rocks, snoring with her head and arms draped over my body, drooling all over my stomach.

 

“Hey…” I said, my voice rough from the yelling from last night. Unwanted memories flashed through my mind, making me cringe, and I made an effort to push them away as fast as they came. “Hey… wake up…” I started moving her gently, rocking her body back and forth in the hopes she’d wake up.

 

“Bhuh?” She started to come to, rubbing her eyes and stretching like a cat. When she saw me, a radiant smile bloomed on her face. “I’m so glad you’re okay!” she said as she enveloped me in a hug.

 

She tried to be gentle with her hug, but it still hurt a little. “Ouch…ouch…” I hissed as I used my hands to push her away. I didn’t have the strength to force her, but she acquiesced and backed off slightly.

 

“Oh no!” she gushed, looking at me with pity and care, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you ok? Do you need pain relievers or to go to the doctor? I could make you breakfast if-”

 

“I’ll take… the meds…” I sighed, laying back down.

 

She nodded and left like a hurricane, hurrying to get them.

 

She came back some time later with a glass of water and two pills.

 

I took them from her hand and gulped them down, washing them with water.

 

I waited a few moments for the pills to take effect and then started talking in ernest, “Thanks, Madden, for the pills, for saving me…for everything. I probably wouldn’t have made it alive or in one piece if you hadn’t showed up when you did. I am not the best with words and even if I was, I don’t think words would be able to express the gratitude, the relief I feel.”

 

Madden looked really touched by my words and she was wiping at her eyes. “No, Erin, I’m a hero and your girlfriend—it was the right thing to do, there was no other choice—you don’t have to thank me, it was what was expected of me and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

 

I felt annoyed and weirded out by her use of the word girlfriend, at her implication we were an official couple. I had only agreed to a date. For all of her charm and nice gestures I had to remember that she was under the effect of my power, not fully there mentally… Still, I didn’t bring up the issue of her wording for two main reasons.

 

One, I really did feel gratitude towards her and she was a really nice person most of the time (not to mention her supermodel level attractiveness). And two, I felt that if I played along and didn’t fight the current that was my power, then I wouldn’t have to deal with a crazy stalker girl like my mother—the thought of going through that again chilled me to my core.

 

Time to address the elephant in the room. “Madden, as you can tell, I know you are Trailblazer.” I would have liked to tell her the truth of how I knew, but I was worried about what Hermana Grande had told me, how if the government found out about my powers they’d dissect me. Also, I remembered how Madden had killed my mother, how she didn’t care about the people who were with her dying. If I told her about Farans and Hermana, she’d probably go on the warpath again, killing for me without mercy. I didn’t want that for her…it was a slippery slope once she started compromising her morals where would she stop? “Before you ask, I know because you got angry on the hallway when I told you about the headmistress stuff. Your eyes lit up.”

 

“Fuck, I’m so stupid,” Madden facepalmed herself, “Such a rookie mistake… can’t believe I lost control like that.”

 

I patted her on the shoulder, “Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes. So long as you are not a chronic fuck up like me, you are fine.” I said with a self-mocking voice.

 

She looked at me with pity and…admiration? Love? “You are not a fuck up!” she stated, grabbing my hand with both of hers, looking me intensely in the eyes, “You are cute, sensitive, funny, but not a fuck up, ok?”

 

I had to look away, embarrassed by her fervor. “Yeah, sure.” I said half assedly to get her out of my hair.

 

She grabbed my chin and gently turned it back so I was looking at her eyes again. “I’m serious,” she whispered, hurt by my refusal to accept her view of myself, “You are the man I love and you are perfect.” 

 

When she saw me blush, embarrassed, she leaned down for a kiss. She kissed me slowly and lovingly, her tongue caressing mine.

 

Then, after a few seconds, she disentangled, leaving us both panting.

 

We both took a few seconds to compose ourselves: I was in no state to take things further and have sex.

 

“Do you want breakfast?” she said, breaking the silence, “I usually have eggs and bacon, but I am a decent cook. I could probably whip up whatever you’d like.”

 

“I don’t really care, I’m not a picky eater,” I answered. She was already turning to go, but I grabbed her hand. “Before you go, listen”--I bit my lip, I didn’t know how to say this--”I don’t want you killing people again Madden. I’m-I’m not an idiot; I know those people you were with weren’t heroes and that you were not legally allowed to do what you did. So-”

 

“So what was I supposed to do?! To just smile and let that pedophile, the monster that raped you and almost beat you to death, just walk away?!” she snapped, her eyes blazing, hands balled into fists.

 

Her outburst, combined with flashing images of last night, made me jump up despite the pain into a defensive position, hyperventilating.

 

Seeing this, she immediately apologized, lowering her voice and putting her hands up to calm me down, “I’m sorry Erin, please calm down, ok? I am not her and I won’t harm you like that, ok?” She started approaching slowly. “I’m sorry for raising my voice, alright? Please, let me help you lay down.”

 

I somewhat reluctantly accepted her help to lay back down, trying my best to calm down the adrenaline and fight or flight instincts. 

 

“If you get aggressive again, I’m leaving.” I stated, glaring at her.

 

She hesitated, then said, “That’s fair. I’m sorry, let’s try that again.”

 

“I’ll repeat what I said. I can’t be in a relationship with someone that kills people, with a fucking murderer.”

 

She sighed, “Are you suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? You can’t be telling me you love and want to protect your abuser. She deserves what she got.”

 

“No, I’m not,” I glared at her, “I definitely didn’t love her and a part of me wanted to kill her myself, but it’s never justice when you go outside the law, just revenge. You are a hero, Madden— a hero! People, little kids, look up at you. I don’t want you to become another villain, a murderer. And that’s final. I won’t negotiate that. You kill someone else and we are done.”

 

She looked frustrated and reluctant, but she nodded. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll have to do things your way. I don’t really-”

 

My stomach growled.

 

She covered her mouth as she laughed. “I’ll get moving on that breakfast and I’ll bring you a morning after pill just to be sure.” Her expression lost her mirth when she mentioned the birth control pill.