Episode 37: Fainn and Fainn Part 1
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I was staring at the other me, completely out of my depth.

"Who are you?" I asked. "Are you real, or is this still a dream--actually, I should have woken up by now--"

"Fainn, clam it and close your eyes. If you just give it a second, you should know who I am."

"Hmm... You're pretty rude, aren't you--"

"FAINN."

"Right, right, okay... It's weird seeing my face get so angry."

I closed my eyes, and yeah, it was weird, but it was like I had an intuition coming to me.

I opened my eyes again and locked eyes with the other me.

"Are you my subconscious?"

Other me bobbed his head. "Okay, that's a good guess, but no... You know what, I'll just tell you." He smiled at me in the way that someone smiles at a child. "How does that sound, huh, buddy?"

I stared at him. "You don't have to be so condescending."

He winced and recoiled. "Oh. Sorry. You're not really supposed to be a thinker."

"Are you calling me slow?"

"No. I'm calling you the do-er."

"Umm."

"Look, deep thinking is a really dangerous activity for you. You're supposed to be living life on autopilot with very surface-level thoughts."

I wanted to say something, but I just ended up cocking my head. "Yeah," I said. "I know..."

It was confusing, but I had the sense that I wasn't supposed to think in a certain way. If someone had asked me if I was a deep thinker, I would have told them, 'no' even. As far back as I could remember, it was who I was. I was someone that tried not to think about the past too much too... It was weird hearing myself say it.

"Okay, that's the stare of understanding! You're starting to get it, Fainn." He turned on his heels and ran down a passage. "Come on, man! I'll explain as we run!"

With no other choice, I chased after the other me. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Okay, Fainn, listen up. I'm not your subconscious. I'm just another segment of you." He shrugged as he led me down another corridor. "I do hear that voice a bit more, though… Anyway, I know some things, but that's about it."

"A segment. What's that supposed to mean... Hold on, am I like a fake personality, and you're the real me?"

"No, no, get that trash out of your head," he replied. "You're every bit as worthwhile as I am, Fainn! We're equal segments, alright? No one's going to diminish your personhood, you got that? We're equal, but we face different directions."

"We're vectors..."

"Exactly!"

That guy--he was... he was fiercely protective. I could feel it. It made me really happy to hear him say that.

"I got it, Other Me."

"No, nix that name," he said, looking at me with a cranky mug. "Just call me Fainntwo."

"Fainntwo... Okay, got it... But segments... That's a unique situation to be in--don't you think?"

"That's an understatement." Fainntwo shook his head. "Listen, Fainn. You're the exterior personality. You're the personality meant to exist in the world, prosper in it, and be happy. You're meant to chase happiness. You're like a really nice and wounded Id made external."

"Okay," I said. "That sounds right to me... As uncomfortable as the thought is."

"Of course it does! It's what you were born to do. Me, meanwhile? I'm the personality that exists behind the door."

"Ack!" I said, my heart racing suddenly. "Fainntwo! I wasn't supposed to be here--"

"Calm down; it'll be fine, considering the circumstances! D-Don't think too much about it! I can't have you freezing up on me, okay?" he said.

I could see he was sweating. He was scared too...

"Got it!" I said, not wanting to add to his worries.

We broke out of the corridors, and I was astounded at the walls outlining even more corridors that stood before us and the mosaic-like sky above us.

"I'm the segment that exists beyond the door," he repeated as he looked at me. "Fainn, there's something terrible locked inside us. I'm the one meant to keep it sequestered, and you're the one meant to keep enjoying life, free from the nightmares crawling out of our past. Now come on!"

Fainntwo raced ahead of me as I trembled.

"B-but those walls--"

Something felt wrong. The walls were playing memories from my childhood. Memories I knew were ones I didn't have before this moment. Memories of when I was dressed in black garbs--

"Fainn! Don't think about it!" Fainntwo said as he yanked me forward. "Look at the floor, Fainn!"

"G-Got it!"

When I looked away, the strange feeling in my chest lessened.

"Fainn, I know this will be hard, but I need you to work with me and listen to me, okay? This is my domain. Not yours. If you look at the wrong thing, it's going to mess with both of us. You understand? We have to keep our minds going in the lanes designated for them!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, man. It's weird. I can't control my responses here as easily. My mind's racing a lot more, and everything feels stronger too."

"Yeah... Bud," he put his hand on my shoulder. "Believe me, I know. You being here is throwing me off too. We must be resonating or something. I don't usually feel this panicked. Like actually--I'm not supposed to feel panic. It gets in the way of my job."

Fainntwo pulled me along again, and we ran down a corridor while I kept my eyes on the floor.

"Your job--you were telling me about your job!"

"Right. I'm supposed to keep something locked up in here while you enjoy life for all of us... But, the recent trouble is causing us to have to improvise."

"The kid, right? The Neo-Demon? Did he get in here?"

"That's right. He did..." I could feel Fainntwo's frustration as if it were my own. "That kid got in here, but I only noticed him twenty minutes ago. It wasn't all bad, though... Fainn, we're currently running through a labyrinth I made from our memories."

"A labyrinth of memories?" I asked. "That's why those images are playing on the walls..."

"Yup! It's the culmination of my work from the last few years. I learned how to conceptualize memories as solid blocks, and I learned how to use them like building materials... The stronger the memory, the stronger the block. With the memories under my control, I altered this side of our mental landscape and made this labyrinth to further hide what was locked in here. I thought I was being paranoid, but it saved us! The punk is currently lost in the labyrinth."

"Whew... That's a relief."

"My plan was to find him and kick him out, but then I felt YOU. And the moment I did--inspiration struck me. You didn't come here through your dreams. You came here while +Nightmares ARE Fiction+ was active, and you came here as more of yourself."

"Yeah? Is that significant?"

"It had to be! I felt that change the moment you got in here! Fainn, tell me something--can +Nightmares ARE Fiction+ be used in a dream?"

I knew that answer--of course, I did. It was fundamental. The power had never worked inside of a dream... Saying a fiction was a fiction while within the fiction--no, that idea resolved itself into nothing...

"No. Never."

"But the 'you' right now can do it. I know you can... I don't know what exactly happened, but that punk just forced the power to go inward. You aren't your dream-self. That body is way denser than the dream body. +Nightmares ARE Fiction+ is packed inside of it. When I realized that, I sang at the top of my lungs for the first time in my life."

I felt his happiness surge through the hand holding my wrist. "So... This is something similar to what happened when I went to the Inverse," I muttered. "It's like that Dorth lookalike said..."

"Fainn, this is our chance. Through incredible outside intervention, we two, who should never have met, have a real opportunity here. We can fully negate the nightmare that's locked in here! That's why I gave up on tracking the kid down. We'll just go and take out the thing he's trying to find."

"Wait, he's trying to find something? Then he knew whatever you're guarding was here?"

"It's complicated, Fainn..." Fainntwo sighed. "You'll probably remember this... and it would be good for you to know this too."

I glanced up at Fainntwo as he looked back at me.

"A lot of demons know us, Fainn. If they see us, they'll know who we are."

"W-what--"

"We've spent too much time in their company. That's why the kid targeted us. And that's how he knows there's something to find here."

I... at that moment, I recalled what Narlivs had said days ago--about how strange it was that we had already come across Neo-Demons.

"Fainn, do you remember our life before Larry, or do you know our life before Larry?"

"I... know them," I replied without thinking. "I know I'm not supposed to think about it.

"Yeah," Faintwo said. Then, we came to a stop. "Yeah... you're not. Those memories were kept away from the exterior personality, and you were born with the command to not think about them..." Faintwo's voice became almost heavy. "Barring you from those memories--the reason you weren't supposed to think about them was that you'd notice how spotty everything was. And if you did that--well, identity crisis would be putting it lightly... Anyway, all that survived from the pre-Larry era was basic stuff like language and dread toward well-deserved targets... Still, some of that basic knowledge--that common sense from the pre-Larry era has melded with your current self. Your feelings about divinity and your awareness of evil--"

"That's what knowing means. I know who I was at the end of that past..."

"When you asked Svilran to remove the visuals from the post-Larry era. You were able to ask that because you knew it was possible innately--because something similar had already been done."

I started to raise my head. "Did she remove them from you too--"

"Don't look up!" he barked.

"S-Sorry."

I felt his regret immediately. "Wait, sorry. Sorry." He sighed. "Okay, I put this off long enough. Fainn, we're about to walk into the portion of the labyrinth made from the densest pre-Larry era memories. This is the deepest region... I placed and used these memories here because they are the strongest and most forbidden memories. Fainn, you absolutely cannot look at these memories, you understand? Don't look up? Okay? These memories aren't meant for you!"

"Okay... got it..."

"Fainn, I'm serious, man. I don't know what'll happen to you if you see these... But... I need you to get past them if we're to have any shot at quashing the thing at the end of all of this."

"I get it... I'll do my best."

"Okay..." Fainntwo tugged at my wrist. "Let's go!"

We ran into the mysterious section. I kept my head down, but... I don't think Fainntwo noticed. His feelings were pouring into me through his hand.

Like you said, Fainntwo, we're resonating.

I stayed silent as images flashed across my mind--images of the forbidden past were mixed in with Fainntwo's emotions, and the story unfolded within my mind.

This is where everything started.

...

..

.

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