Day 68,

The others have met Maiko now.  Looks like she’ll be joining us afterall tomorrow.  Assuming the mists clear up soon enough for us to make it to Siren Overlook in time.

But, as it seems I say a lot, back to chronological order.

I woke up this morning to a knock at the door, which was unusual enough to put me on edge as I scrambled out of bed and grabbed the broom.  I cracked open and peered out the door to see Maiko standing on the porch with the first wispy tendrils heralding a mist night forming across the ground behind her.  She had a pouch on a strap hung over one shoulder that I hadn’t seen her with before.  After dropping the broom to lean it against the wall like I hadn’t just been holding it in a death grip to try and beat off intruders, I flung the door open and welcomed her inside.

I told her to go ahead and help herself to the pantry while I got changed and apologized for the fact that I wouldn’t be sticking around long since I needed to get to the Village before the mists got too thick so that I could leave from there for the floating island in the morning.  She mumbled something by way of acknowledgement.  When I returned a couple of minutes later she was seated at the table and poking at a half-loaf of bread but didn’t seem to have actually eaten anything.

I asked what was wrong.

There was one of those long pauses characteristic of conversations between the two of us.

She said she wanted to go to the floating island too.  She’d been thinking about what I’d said about seeing more from the air and passing over islands that she hadn’t been to by boat yet.

My own turn to pause, or freeze up rather, while I tried to think through logistic and social calculations.  On the one hand, I was happy to have Maiko along and not even counting the extra we’d ended up with, we’d already planned to bring slightly more food than we needed just in case.  On the other hand…

I asked her if she was sure about this.  While I had been the one to bring up the potential of seeing signs of other people like her, I reminded her that I’d also said it was a long shot and I don’t want her to get her hopes up just to have them dashed.  Also, there are going to be other people on this trip.  Was she okay with that?

Another long pause.  An expression of uncertainty and a lack of eye contact.  Then again, I don’t think the two of us usually make eye contact anyway when speaking to each other.  We’re both bad at it.  Just sort of look in one another’s general direction.  But in this moment she wasn’t even doing that.

She said she understood.  That a tiny chance was better than no chance.  That if I wasn’t as bad or threatening as she’d feared, my friends might not be either.

I told her I was happy to have her along in that case.

She made a quirk of her lips that might have been a smile.

Another pause, more awkward for me than her I suspect.

I pointed out that if she was going into the Village, she’d need more clothes than what she’s wearing.  While there are never many people out and about on mist days and the mists will make it a little harder to make her out, if someone does see her and – as I presume – she doesn’t yet want attention from more people than necessary, then covering up might make people less likely to ask questions.

A pause.  A sigh.

She told me to show her the clothes I had offered before.

I led her to my room and showed her the old archivist’s clothes that I’d left unaltered.  There were some grumbling noises and I was waved off as I offered to help get them on, but no outright words of complaint.  In the end, they weren’t a great fit for her either, but for different reasons and in different places.  At least she was the right height for them – maybe even slightly taller than the old archivist had been – and the shirt was a button-up rather than pull-over affair, so no horns getting caught on fabric.  She drew the line at footwear.

With it getting later in the morning than I’d like with the mist getting thicker, I tossed her the hooded cloak I’d bought for her and said to grab her breakfast to eat on the way as I did the same.

And so we opened the door to set out just in time to find Cass standing there with a fist raised to knock.

Cass’s eyes went wide.  Maiko’s whole body tensed as if to run.  My mind began to panic that something awful was about to happen.

And then Cass transitioned her pose from knocking on the door to extending a handshake and introduced herself.  Hesitantly, Maiko responded in kind.

Realizing I’d been holding my breath, I let out a sigh of relief that I hoped they didn’t notice, asked Cass if she’d eaten yet – she had – and then said something to the point of getting us moving before the mist got much thicker.

The walk to the Village thus started and proceeded in a moderately uncomfortable silence until Cass’s curiosity got the better of her and she started asking questions.  Why were Maiko and I dressed alike?  Does she have a fever or is her skin always that hot?  What’s it like having horns?  Were they always that long or did they grow in as she got older?  Did she have her own house somewhere or does she just live with me?  Does she have any brothers or sisters?  How’d she get to be so tall?

Seeing Maiko start to look overwhelmed by this attention, I asked Cass to give it a rest and apologized to Maiko, saying that my friends can be… more energetic… than I am.  Cass followed suit and apologized as well.

Several minutes of silent walking later Maiko started answering some of those questions.  The clothes were my idea for blending in once we reached the Village.  To her, Cass’s hand was the one that was cold, but she did feel hot with these extra layers of fabric.  She’s never not had horns so she can’t compare what it’s like, although when she was Cass’s age they were just little stubs.  She lives in the woods without a house but sometimes builds shelters or finds caves, and just uses my house on mist nights to keep away from shades.  Or else takes a boat out on the water.  She’s a normal height, why is everyone else so short?

Once we got closer to the Village I pulled up the hood on my cloak and gestured for Maiko to do the same.  Way I figured it, one hooded figure in the mist attracted suspicion whereas multiple hooded figures together… well, would still look suspicious, but at least that attention would be diffused amongst multiple people and one person turning out to be normal would inherently vouch for the others?  I’ll admit the logic sounded more convincing in my head.

Fortunately, such precautions turned out to be unnecessary as we didn’t run into anyone on the streets on the way to the library.  No one we could clearly see at any rate.

Once we got into the library was another story.  Lin and Vernon were already there waiting for us.  They were somewhat surprised to begin with at an unexpected party joining us at the last minute, and while I think they may have noticed or suspected something at least subconsciously with Maiko’s bare feet and hands exposed while she turned her face away and pulled the hood of her cloak lower, once I finished introductions and Maiko turned toward them and pulled back her hood (hands shaking slightly and getting the fabric briefly caught on her horns) I don’t think it’d be unfair to call them stunned.  I think I heard Lin gasp.

Vernon, ever the gentleman, recovered quickly and launched into a flourishing bow and stream of flowery language welcoming Maiko and attempting to put her at ease.  I’m not sure “at ease” was achieved, but I suppose “confused” is better than “intimidated by suddenly doubling the number of people she’s ever interacted with at one time twice in one day.”

Lin was somewhat more awkward about it.  Flustered even, at least until she took a moment and stilled herself into that polite, professional, slightly detached doctor façade that I’d seen her using with other villagers.  She even went so far as to introduce herself as being there to ensure everyone’s health and safety on the trip.

I went on to explain some of the details of how Maiko and I knew each other and her interest in joining the expedition.  The others all said that they’d not met or heard of anyone else like her either but were willing to do what they could to help a new friend and not tell anyone else about her if she didn’t want them to.

Maiko mumbled something by way of thanks.

I offered to take her downstairs for a tour of the archive.  Cass started to volunteer to come with us but I asked her to stay up here and start getting things sorted and packed along with some intonation and facial gestures that I hoped conveyed that I was trying to give Maiko an opportunity to be away from so many people.

Watching Maiko as I unlocked the door and led her down into the archive and its interplay of light and shadow between the hanging crystals and book-lined shelves I found myself reminded of when Pat did the same for me so many days ago.  I couldn’t help but smile at her initial look of wonder, anxiety from being around multiple people for the first time momentarily forgotten.  I imagine I must have looked the same way my first time down here.  At least she was familiar enough with crystals not to freak out at the sight of them though.

I showed her around the shelves, the table where I do most of my work, the hidden study/bedroom…  That last one I told her she was welcome to have to herself for the day/tonight and that only Lin, Cass, and I know about it.  As she was obviously curious, I encouraged her to take a few books from the shelves.  Handling them like she was afraid of breaking something precious and fragile, she took them over to a table and opened one.

While she looked through those, I took the backpack I’d been wearing since leaving the house, tidied up the hidden chamber, and spread that really nice blanket from the house which I’d packed over the bed.  Returning, I found Maiko slowly mouthing words to herself and making occasional strained noises of frustration.  I asked what was wrong, and a long pause later and without looking up she quietly admitted that she couldn’t read or write very well.  She knew what a few specific words looked like and the sounds that some letters stood for.  Her mother had had a book that she’d read from occasionally, but she’d never been good at explaining to Maiko how she did it and Maiko hadn’t been able to practice in a long time.

I said that I’d be willing to help sometime seeing as part of my job as archivist was to teach that sort of thing.  Then again, I mentioned that Cass or Lin or probably literally anyone else in the Village would probably be better at it, and went on to explain my own outsider weirdness issues with language.  She said she’d think about the offer.

Another pause.

I told her that I was going back upstairs to rejoin the others, but that she was welcome to stay down in the archive as long as she wanted.  She chose to remain.

Back in the entrance chamber the others were at work reorganizing supplies to split five ways and discussing which of the things we’d thought we’d leave behind would be good to bring afterall.  When I expressed surprise that they weren’t gossiping/speculating about Maiko, Cass said they’d already done that until Vernon called it “both rude and useless without the topical parties being present.”  I answered what questions I could while I joined them in the work, although it was mostly just restating things I’d said during introductions earlier, along with some recounting of my first couple of sightings of her and our first real meeting, ending with me emphasizing that I don’t think she’s dangerous, just simultaneously lonely and afraid of people.

Lin’s questions were a little more personal.  What was Maiko like?  What sort of things did she like?  What does she do out in the woods all day?  Does she normally wear my clothes?  Those questions I was less sure how to answer or where she was going with them.

Eventually, we moved from organizing to carrying things out to the cart outside where we’d be leaving them overnight.  I asked about the capy that was supposed to be there to pull the cart.  Vernon said that Ettor would be bringing it over at first light.  Even if shades don’t actually do anything to animals, they still tend to spook them and Ettor didn’t want to put the poor animal through being tied up in an unfamiliar area overnight surrounded by shades.  Inconvenient, but understandable.  

That work done and the sun starting to go down we went back inside and began preparing a meal of the more perishable foodstuffs that we’d decided wouldn’t be good to take on an extended outing.  I took a portion down to Maiko and found her where I’d left her, but now with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

I asked if she’d rather eat down here or join the others upstairs.

She considered.  Started to say something.  Made a half gesture with her hand.  For a moment I thought she might say she was coming up.

A sigh.  A closing of a fist as the hand went back down to her lap.  She said she’d stay down here.

I put her food down and asked if she’d like me to stay down and eat with her.

She said to go join my other friends who’d be waiting for me.

I nodded in understanding, said she knew where to find me and headed back up.

Ultimately, we agreed to try to go to bed as soon as we finished that dinner so that we could all get up at first light, if not earlier.  Peeking out the windows of the library entrance chamber I could already see a shade right outside, looking towards the door.

And so now Cass, Lin, and Vernon are all in bedrolls on the floor upstairs and Maiko has retreated to the hidden room, albeit with the door cracked open.  Meanwhile, I’ve set up in a corner of the archive to write until I can no longer keep my eyes open.  I know that otherwise I just would have spent the time tossing and turning in anticipation of the Catacomb nightmares.  In a few minutes I think I’ll try to creep back upstairs without waking anyone and slip into my own bedroll.  Maybe surrounded by friends the dream won’t be as bad?