Mom wakes me up when she gets home and gives me the iron supplements she bought. After I take them I lay back down and Mom tells me, “I’m going to call Dr. Ghere and set an appointment for you and call the school to tell them you won’t be there tomorrow. I don’t want a recurrence of today.”
“If you say so, but I should be fine now that I have the supplements.”
Mom shakes her head. “We don’t know that, baby. That’s why you need to see Doctor Ghere. We need to find out why you are so anemic.”
“They said I was low on iron in the ER.”
“Mhmm, but there are many reasons it could be like that. Missing a day or two of school isn’t going to hurt you.”
“I know that Mom, but…” I sigh in resignation. “Okay, whatever.”
She smiles at me. “Now, what do you want for dinner?”
◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇
[Wednesday, May 14th]
After I ate dinner last night, I crawled back into bed shortly after eight and almost literally passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I finally wake up a little after nine this morning. I find it hard to believe I slept for almost 13 hours. I’ve never slept that long before. Wearily dragging myself out of bed, I head to the bathroom, take care of my business, wash my hands and head back to bed to lay down when I see the note from Mom on my bedside table.
‘Remember to take your iron pills. I’ll come back and take you to see Dr. Ghere this afternoon. Love you.’
I replace the note on my nightstand, grab the 2 iron pills and take them with water. Laying back down with a tired sigh, it doesn’t take long before I fall back asleep.
Mom shaking me and calling my name wakes me up a little after 1:00. Honestly, I still feel drained even with all of the sleep I’ve had. Dragging myself out of bed, I trudge to the bathroom where Mom helps me clean up and get ready for my appointment.
Believe it or not, I fall asleep on the way and Mom has to wake me up again. Helping me out of the car, we head inside and I sit down while Mom announces us. Twenty minutes later, a nurse calls us back, weighs me and checks my vitals. In the examination room, she asks why we are here and Mom explains what happened as the nurse enters everything into the computer. That done, she says, “Dr. Ghere will be with you in a few minutes.”
A few minutes later, she comes in and says, “Hi Andie. I didn’t expect to see you back here until the 24th.”
Mom replies in my stead, “Hi Dr. Ghere. We didn’t expect to be here either, but basically Andie passed out at school yesterday. In the ER they said it was anemia, but that we should follow up with you.”
She nods and looking at the computer, she mumbles, “Hmm… Let’s see here… Alright, Andie, are you having your period right now?” I nod. “Well let’s take some blood to begin with and I’ll order some additional tests to rule out anything serious.” She types on the computer for a few minutes, then stands up. “The nurse will be back to take some blood and then take you around to have the tests done. I’ll be back to talk about the results.”
Mom and I nod. A minute later a nurse comes in and takes a couple vials of blood and then escorts me around to get the tests done. After a couple of hours of tests, I’m taken back to the examination room and left to wait with Mom. About a half an hour later Dr. Ghere comes back.
Once she takes a seat, she tells me, “Well Andie, I have good news. You have Iron-deficiency anemia rather than something more serious. Iron deficiency anemia happens when your body attempts to make up for the lost red blood cells by using your iron stores to make more hemoglobin. Most likely this is caused by Menorrhagia, which rapidly decreases your iron levels enough to do this.”
“And that means?”
“In the simplest terms: the blood loss, not eating well and your lack of iron are the reasons for your anemia. The lack of hemoglobin is what is making you tired and why you passed out at school.”
“So, all I need to do is take iron supplements?”
“That along with multivitamins and eating properly. If you don’t, then this will keep happening to you.”
I nod. ”Alright. I’ll make sure I do.”
“Good. I’d hate to see you back in the ER over this. Anyway, I’ll see you in about a week to check your arm.”
We thank her and head out of the office. Once we are in the car, she asks, “Andie, let’s stop to get you something to eat. I know you didn’t touch what I left you for lunch in the fridge.”
Honestly, all I want to do is go home and crawl back into bed, but not eating is one of the reasons I feel like this, so I tell her, “Sure. A cheeseburger and fries would be nice.”
Neither of us really care for the national chains all that much, so we stop by Hobo’s, which is a locally run place with the best burgers, in our opinion, in Key Largo. Since it’s getting close to dinner time, we get enough for everyone and head back home.
Once we eat, Alla and Nadia head to their rooms and Mom and I are sitting on the sofa.
After looking around to make sure they are no longer here, I murmur, “Mom, you know I love being a girl.” I touch my abdomen and say, “Except for this part anyway.” She nods and gestures for me to continue. “I wish I understood more about boys. Dan specifically. I know he cares about me and would probably do anything for me, but I’m always afraid I’m going to do the wrong thing and scare or drive him away.”
“Hmm... how can I explain this to you?” She paused for a moment to think, before continuing. “Men and women are very similar and at the same time massively different. Both sexes have the same types of thoughts and worries. We can relate to each other in that way, but there is something more. There are gifts that men have, but those gifts come at a price. We women have gifts of our own, but those also come with flaws. That is what makes relationships between men and women so easy and extremely hard at the same time. Our gifts and flaws compliment each other. Of course, every person is different and we have to work out what they are if we want a relationship to work with that person, so trying to use broad generalizations doesn’t really help to try to explain.” She pauses again and a few moments later continues. “It would be like saying your father and Dan are the same since they are both men, understand?”
In a way, I kind of find it funny, because I knew nothing about myself as a boy. Especially since I was never really a boy to begin with and never knew where I fit in. I suppose you could say that at that time, I fit nowhere.
I didn’t ever get the verbal jabs and power games the boys played with each other or any of the other ways they interacted and I damn sure could never ask my father about it. You can guess what the first thought he had would have been. One beating from him was more than enough for me, thank you very much.
“I guess. In a way I suppose I do, but it doesn’t really help me here.”
Mom chuckles, hugs me for a moment and then continues. “Baby girl, I hate generalizations, but here we go. In general, and remember I’m old fashioned in what I believe here, men are supposed to be strong for others, to provide for their loved ones and lead their family. That doesn’t necessarily mean that men have to be big, muscular and overbearing. I mean they should be the ones to protect their loved ones when bad things happen and that they should lead by example, not by dictating.”
“As you saw with your father, his inability to to reach those ideals can lead to him buying into the crap that minister was spewing and thereby destroying our family. They can become arrogant, and they abuse their power and strength. They become angry, resentful and at that point they quite often view those who are weaker as beneath them and something to be used or controlled.”
She smiles and softly strokes my hair, which I lean into. What? I find it comforting and I love how close my mom and I have become since my change.
“Women on the other hand, we are supposed to be nurturing, supportive and thoughtful. We have to be resilient, yet resolute at the same time, as well as being gentle, yet strong. We are the ones people tend to come to for advice. Of course, that can lead to some women becoming manipulative. I’ve seen a lot of women use their beauty and charm to get what they want, but that’s a double-edged sword, since it can result in women being seen as mere objects to be gained or possessed by men. Baby girl, you already know you’re gorgeous and I’ve already talked to you about this before, so please don’t do that to yourself or others. Plus it makes all women look bad when some do it. This world is complicated enough, so don’t make it harder for yourself. Being vain, conceited, and entitled never has a good ending for people. That goes for both men and women.”
“Mom, I get all of that, but how does that help me with Dan?”
She chuckles for a few moments and then continues. “We meet each other halfway. It’s kind of like a dance. When the right man and woman meet, sparks fly and that’s when the magic can happen. If those two can safely navigate their way through their differences and support each other then they become stronger than they ever were alone. The nurturing nature of women and the protective nature of men form something completely new. If men and women can speak candidly and treat each other with the respect they’re due as equals, that’s when something truly magnificent happens. Love and understanding grow and two people can become one as was always intended.”
I nod. “Then, what happened with you and Dad?”
She shrugs. “He stopped listening to me and my opinion. He saw the two of us more as possessions to be controlled than as loved ones and valued others over his family. That’s a surefire way to destroy what you once valued most.”
I get most of what she is saying, but I suppose I’ll just have to think about the rest of it some more and maybe talk to Mom if I get stuck. I don’t want what happened with my family to happen to me and my future husband and children.
Leaning over, I hug her and murmur, “Thanks, Mom. I’ll make sure I keep that in mind. Alright, I’m going to take a hot bath and then go to bed.”
“Good night, Baby girl. I love you more than anything.”
Grinning from ear to ear, I hug her even tighter. “I love you, too.”
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