2 – Awake the Spirit
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I jolted upright in a cold sweat. I had to hide! I had to... Oh, just a bad dream. Whatever the dream was, it slipped away like smoke. I looked out the dark window. Must have slept through the whole afternoon. I got out of bed and stretched. I felt an ache in my hips and looked down. "Ugh, no wonder I'm sore. I wore my suit to bed." I kicked off the tight dress shoes and tore off the dress shirt and slacks, quickly redressing in a more comfortable pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Safe and warm. My toes, free of their prison, spread out on the hardwood floor as I tiptoed down the hallway. I hopped over the squeaky board with practiced ease as I made my way to the kitchen. Time to see if they had left anything for me.

I was pleasantly surprised to see some spaghetti still sitting on the stove. I reached in and grabbed a noodle. Still pretty warm, too. I loaded up a plate and headed out the back door. Sitting on the back porch in the cool night air, I ate my dinner and thought about the day's events. I shouldn't have sang that song. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. I'm a m- I coughed as a piece of ground beef went down the wrong pipe. "Can't even eat right..." You're not a girl. The gremlin was back. I ignored it. I know that, I know... I looked up at the night sky. Birthday wishes, nightly prayers, falling stars. None of it could change anything. It was just something men had to deal with. A test from God. My fork clinked against my plate. Empty. I placed it on the stone floor of the porch. One of the cats would lick it clean. I stood and walked into the night.

The moon was full, beautiful. I stretched out my arms and spun around in a circle, feeling the air dance around me. It kissed my face, blew through my hair. My toes dug into the warm earth. ALIVE. I fell down to the ground and looked up at the sky, watching as wispy clouds drifted in front of the moon. Movement caught my eye. A shooting star. I wish I was a g- "I'm fine!" I sat up and pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head. "I'm FINE." I repeated. A gust of wind blew through the yard and pushed the hood back again, whipping my hair around and brushing it across my nose. My nose? I didn't realize it had gotten so long already. Feels like only yesterday Mom shaved me down to the skin. That made me feel a little better. I always liked having my hair long. Just like Ki- TOMMY. Yeah, just like Tommy, the Green Ranger. Not any other Ranger. A chill washed over me, despite my warm clothes. That's enough laying outside in the middle of the night. I'm going back to bed. And so I put thought to action, heading back to the house. Inside my head, the buzzing thoughts bounced around with connections until a song came to mind and flowed from my lips, almost unconsciously.

Gimme a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

I hummed the tune as I walked back down the hallway to my room, making sure to hop over the squeaky board again. I considered praying, then curled up on the mattress instead. It's not like He ever answered any of the other ones. I grabbed my little stuffed walrus, my one childhood companion, and hugged him tight. "Goodnight, Wally." I ignored the tears pooling in my eyes until I finally drifted back into sleep.


"C'mon, Zee! Time for chores!" My door banged open, admitting my little brother Conner. Well, "little" brother was a bit of a misnomer. He was at least a foot taller than me if he was an inch. He got to drink milk without getting sick, the little shit. "Dad's already out milking, he wants you to feed the chickens and bring the eggs in!"

"I'm up, I'm up!" I groaned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I cinched my hood a little tighter and headed down the hall after Conner. As we pulled on our boots I noticed mine were loose. "Hey, you wearing my boots over there?"

"Nope." He held up a foot to show off his massive rubber gunboats. "See? They got a C, for Conner." I looked and they did indeed have a C scratched into the leg.

I looked at the ones I was wearing. They were marked with a Z. Z for... me. These were mine, alright. "Hmm. Must be getting worn out, they're feeling loose."

"I dunno how you managed to wear yours out faster than mine, what with you going barefoot every chance you get." I did like going barefoot, but not when I might end up stepping into a big pile of cow shit. Hence, the boots.

"Probably doesn't help that people with massive ham hocks where their feet should be keep trying to wear them when they've got perfectly good boots of their own." He had the decency to look chagrined at that. "Eh, whatever. Let's get this done so we can eat breakfast."

We headed out past the canning kitchen, he turned left towards the cows and hogs while I turned right towards the chickens. I rattled the door of the coop. "Wake up, girls! Time for breakfast!" I quickly entered and shut the door behind me, then slid open the door to the chicken run. I felt a thumping against my foot. The rooster was pecking at me. Yet another reason for the boots. "You too, ya evil bastard! Get on out there!" I shoved him through the hole to the run with my foot, then went through the motions of feeding, watering, and collecting eggs. "Full dozen today, eh? Everybody's pulling their weight, I see."

As I left the coop, I felt something tickling my neck. "Damn skeetos..." I slapped at my neck through the hood, but the sensation continued. "What the?" I pulled down the hood and reached back, moving the hair out of the way to try and feel what had... Hair? I pulled it forward to see what kind of hair had gotten into my hoodie. "Ow!" It was attached. The hair was attached to my head. It was my hair. "Well that ain't right..." I shook my head. The hair whipped around and smacked me in the face. That's not normal. Hair doesn't grow this fast... I blew at it to get it out of my eyes. It's never been long enough for me to see it before. And it's curly! Have I had curly hair this whole time and never knew it? I giggled and shook my head around, just enjoying the feeling of it.

"Hey Zee! You done with them chickens yet?" Conner's voice echoed across the farmyard. The gremlin resumed his grip. I hurriedly pulled my hood back up and walked around the coop along the path back to the house.

"Yeah, I'm done! That rooster was just being rude today!"

"Well, you're stealing his babies!"

"Yep, nother dozen counts of kidnapping this morning!" I headed into the canning kitchen to wash and store the eggs. They're pretty strange things, eggs. Tough enough to hold a whole chick inside, strong enough to hold up a brick, but one wrong move and they'll fall to pieces. Then you got a mess on your hands. I carefully laid them out in a empty carton and dated it, then stuck it in the fridge. "No broken eggs on my watch." Satisfied with my work, I headed back to the house, where hopefully breakfast was waiting.

I kicked off my boots and stretched once I got in, then headed to the bathroom to wash up. Partway through my morning ritual, I remembered. My hair! I pulled down the hood and stared into the mirror. That was hair, alright. And attached to my head, even! But how had it grown so fast? A growth spurt? That's not how fucking growth spurts work and you know it! I fluffed it up, a smile crawling across my face. A tiny giggle escaped my throat. BAD. "I'm fine. It's just hair. Need to eat." I pulled the hood back up and headed into the kitchen. Technically it was the dining room, but there was no real separation between the two. It was all kitchen. My brothers were already gobbling down pancakes. I grabbed a few for myself. I ate quickly, and was gone before anyone could start anything. Back to my room. Not like there was anything else to do today. It was "sit on your butt" season on the farm. As opposed to "busting your butt" season, when most all of the work of growing happens.

As I sat on my bed and stared at the wall across from me, the beehive in my brain started buzzing. The Apple Festival is coming up soon. I wondered who would be voted Apple Princess this year. It was Remy last year. She had looked so pretty in the dress. I wonder if they have multiple dresses, or just the one that they change? It had to be multiple, not enough time to fit a new one after the vote. I wonder if they have one that would fit me? BAD. They had one that fit Remy. I like apples. Sweet and tangy. I bet I could be Apple Princess if I was a girl. Bad. I thought of myself up on that float, the tiara perched upon my curly hair. It's not fair. Apple Princess but no Apple Prince. You should want to be a prince. Cinderella got to be a princess. Maybe if I had a fairy godmother like Cinderella... bad. Thoughts swirled around and collided with one another until I was lost in a haze of imagination. A vivid daydream where it was revealed that I was the princess of the Apple Kingdom, hidden on Earth to protect me from the evil Pear Emperor. Time ceased to exist, and I fell into my own mind.

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