A strange tension filled the air in the courtyard. It was disturbingly quiet, especially at this time of day, that time being lunchtime on a Monday.

    Lapis and Ammolite hadn't talked since 'the incident' on Saturday. Ammolite couldn't tell if she'd done something wrong, but something was wrong and she wanted to find out.

    But she was too nervous to ask.

    So for the first ten minutes of their lunch period, the awkward tension only got more and more intense.

    "Did something happen?" Peridot finally asked, unable to take the deafening silence. The tension was making the feral in her want to flee. Lapis looked up from her food,

    "Like what?"

    "A fight? Argument? Anything?" Cuprite asked. She could feel her adrenaline rushing because of her instincts. The tension was putting her in fight or flight mode.

    "Yes, actually," Ammolite said as she looked up from her own meal.

    "What is it, then?" The plant Dranda asked, fidgeting in the sunlight.

    "I'm... Not entirely sure myself. Lapis?"

    "I don't want to talk about this in public..." She mumbled, staring at her tray.

    "We were at the park when it happened," Ammolite pointed out,

    "Yeah but there wasn't anyone we interacted with on a daily bases with there, nobody to start rumors!"

    "Fine, fine," Ammolite gave in. "We'll... Talk after school."

    "Let us know how it goes..." Cuprite said.

    The tension didn't disappear during their lunch period. If anything, it only got worse.

    The end of the day came, and Lapis and Ammolite went to Ammolite's home. Just to talk about what happened. The owner of the house, Ammolite's mom, was at work, so they were fine for the next hour or so.

    They sat on the floor in silence for a few minutes, before Ammolite said,

    "So are we together or not?"

    "I don't know..." Lapis whispered, leaning over a table with her arm under her chin as she stared at the plant in the center of the table.

    "You don't know?" She asked in disbelief.

    "No! I don't, Ammolite! I don't know what I want, I-I don't even know if I want to live! You're the only Elemental in my sixteen years of living to show me any form of kindness and I don't want to lose that by fucking something up in a relationship because I don't want things to be weird! I don't know!" She started to cry, putting her other arm over her muzzle.

    Ammolite gently patted Lapis' back, letting her sob for the next five or so minutes to let it all out. She eventually managed to calm herself down, sniffling softly,

    "I'm sorry..." She said quietly.

    "It's okay, Lapis, you've done nothing wrong."

    "I've always done something wrong..."

    "I don't believe that. You're such a sweet fluff, Lapis," Ammolite said softly. Fluff is a term of endearment on Zanzus for smaller Drats and any form of Dranda, interchangeable for a parent to their Elet or a romantic partner to the other, so this wasn't a very weird thing to say.

    "Thank you... But I'm getting tired of being this way... Being so nice, letting my mom push me around so much..." She clenched her fists, "I'm not the problem, am I, Ammolite?"

    "No, you're not. But... Violence isn't the answer," She said, having some kind of feeling Lapis was going to attack her mother.

    "Like she isn't violent to me. Ammolite, if you were in my place I know you'd think otherwise. She's such a terrible thing, she's worse than the Monsters! They do what comes naturally to them, she's just awful!"

    "I know, Lapis, I know. But you know what else I know? She's gonna regret being so mean to you. You know how I know that?"

    "How?"

    "Because my mom is good friends with the sheriff in town. I could have her be investigated. After it's all over, you won't ever have to see her again."

    Lapis shifted, looking at her.

    "What if she tries to hurt me?" She asked. "More than she already does?

    "Then she'll just be in bigger trouble. Lapis, I promise everything is gonna be okay. I won't let her hurt you anymore." She said gently, taking Lapis' paw in her own.

    "Okay..." Lapis squeezed Ammolite's paw, looking up at her.

    "I... Thank you..." She whispered. She wasn't usually too physical, but right now being hugged didn't sound horrible if she initiated it. So she did, putting her arms around Ammolite and nuzzling into her shoulder.

    "Yo-you're welcome, Lapis." She said, hugging her back. They stayed like that for a bit, before Lapis pulled away.

    "So... If we were to date... A-and it didn't work out..."

    "Lapis, I swear on the life of everyone I know and love, if we dated and it didn't work out, I wouldn't hate you or hurt you, physically, emotionally, or otherwise."

    "I feel like we're moving too fast... I mean I did just meet you twelve days ago..."

    "If you want to give it time we can," Ammolite said with a small smile.

    "I don't know if I have time..."

    "... Are you still debating suicide?" Ammolite asked. Lapis nodded slowly,

    "I might be... I really, really don't want to, but I feel like it's the only way I'll get any kind of relief..."

    "I'll help you, Lapis, I'll do everything I can to make sure you're as happy as possible and safe."

    "Thank you..." Lapis whispered, leaning back over the small table.

    "I know just how to help, too!" Ammolite smiled.

    "How?"

    "Well, first I'd need permission to write a little message on the back of your paw."

    "What would it say?"

    "Something like 'I love you, don't do it',"

    "Okay..."

    "Then you'd need a pair of gloves. They don't have to be thick, just enough that your claws can't poke out."

    "I see where this is going..."

    "Do you hate it?"

    "No... I just... I don't want to feel restricted like that..."

    "I think it would help you. Lapis, if I just write the message there, Elementals will see..."

    "Do you not want them to?"

    "I figured you didn't want everyone to know that you self-harm. From your point of view, I expected you to see it as a cry for attention..."

    "That does sound like something I'd think..."

    "Exactly. After you've had time to think about it when you're done getting the gloves off and you see the message, you'll be reminded that you are loved and there is someone out there who thinks you matter. Even if it doesn't stop you entirely, you might do it less."

    "Yeah... I like that idea..."

    "I'll ask my mom to buy some for you! She's very sweet! I'm sure she wouldn't mind!"

    "Thank you, Ammolite..." Lapis whispered.

    "Of course!" Ammolite smiled at her.

    That night when Lapis went home, her happiness was gone. Any little shred she had left was gone because her mom took her Shell for the next week because she hadn't made dinner on time.

    She couldn't even text Ammolite to tell her what had happened.