"Gotta go. Bye!"

I waved my goodbye to JJ as I made my way out the front door. I definitely wanted to give him some space to think about what we talked about today, and mom arrived at the perfect time.

Hmmm... Maybe I should have told him a little more about the club? I'll ask Julia about it later.

I gotta admit, she came up with a pretty amazing plan. Talking about her experience of wanting to be a girl instead of directly confronting JJ and having him think about it himself... I never would have come up with something like that. And I think it worked too! JJ did get a little heated and it had me worried for a second, but I think we made a huge step towards... something.

When I stepped outside, I saw mom sitting at the wheel of the family van and Aunt Gigi in the passenger seat next to her. I went to walk around to my usual spot in the car, the seat behind Aunt Gigi, when mom shook her head and thumbed to her side of the van instead.

Okay? Don't think it matters what side I get in on anyway.

I redirected to my mom's side, yanked the door open, and jumped in, barely catching the sight of the other person in the seat opposite of me.

"Hey girl!" My Aunt greeted me as she looked into the back seat. "Ready to go shopping? Denise is coming with us!"

Miss Denise?

"Uh. Hi?"

"Hey." She waved.

I looked to mom and aunt Gigi up in the front. Mom gave me a barely noticeable shrug of the shoulders.

So, she wasn't expecting her to be here either?

I plopped down in my seat and turned to shut the door, and when I looked back to the front of the car, I caught a glimpse of Gigi and Miss Denise having an... argument, I think? If you could call it that. Miss Denise had whispered something into Gigi's ear, poking her on the shoulder at the same time, and she responded by slapping at her hand and holding a finger up to her lips in a shushing manner. I squinted at them, and they immediately stopped whispering to each other and stared out of their own windows.

What are they up to?

There was an awkward silence during the drive. I didn't really know Miss Denise all that well, despite her always hanging around Aunt Gigi whenever we went to her house. She usually stayed out of our way or was quiet while we were there, so we didn't know too much about her. Or, at least, I didn't.

"Sooo, Maya," Mom broke the ice first. "How's school going?"

I had to stop myself from audibly groaning. "It's-" I stopped myself. Did I want to tell mom about me joining a club. It couldn't hurt, as long as I was vague about it.

"It's... Going good. I actually joined a club yesterday." I told her proudly. I know mom and dad had urged me to do something in my high school years, so I thought they would be happy to hear that I joined a club.

I could see mom furrow her brow at that through the rear-view mirror.

"You?" Mom emphasized. "You joined a club? Why? And so late in the school year... Does it even matter now?"

"Stop it!" Gigi quickly intervened. "So what if she joined late? She's doing it now and that's all that matters." She leaned over her the arm of her seat to look at me. "What club did you join?"

I opened my mouth, about to blurt out the name, when I thought about how that might be a bad idea to just out right tell them everything. Gigi raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to say something. I remembered that last thing we had done a few hours ago in Mr. Roberts room.

"It's, uh... the debate club?"

Mom tilted her head in a questioning manner as Gigi and Miss Denise smiled awkwardly at me.

"The debate Club." Mom stated. I know that she was finding it hard to believe, but I had come up with the answer off the top of my head and based it off of what we had recently done in the club. If they asked any further questions, we could, as a club, could come up with a better idea together.

"Uh. Yeah. It's actually a lot more interesting than I thought." I told her. "And I already made a few friends. They're pretty cool. Oh, and I wanted to know if you would be okay with them coming over tomorrow after school?" I posed the question to her.

"Tomorrow? That's really sudden..." Mom thought aloud as she pulled into the parking lot.

I could tell mom wanted to say no and I could definitely understand why. Having complete strangers in your house and all that. But I think I could easily persuade her to my side if I pushed a little harder.

"Please mom," I begged, clenching my hands together. "It's just gonna be girls with us and Tanisha's one of them."

Mom nearly did a double take as she pulled into an empty space.

"Tanisha- Our Tanisha... joined the debate club?" She questioned me.

"You're in a girl's only debate club?" Miss Denise added on.

A memory of Julia and Leon sitting in the club room flashed in my mind.

"Uh, yes?"

Mom seemed to be thinking about something.

"Hmm. Deidra hadn't told me about you guys joining a club when a talked to her a few minutes ago."

"W-we just joined today. Tanisha probably hadn't told her yet." I sputtered out, immediately pulling out my phone.

 

<Nisha>

Mymy: If ur mom ask

Mymy: we joined the debate club

...

...

Nisha is typing..

 

I smirked as I put my phone back into my pocket. I'll answer her later. Just a little payback for the incident with my phone in class the other day. Mom was obviously shocked as she pulled into an empty parking spot and we piled out of the car.

Maybe I should have come up with a more believable club to join...

"this is... a thrift store." Miss Denise said.

Oh, she doesn't know.

"This is for me," I told her, raising a hand sheepishly. "I usually take a peek around for anything I can use for cosplay junk. Sorry."

"It's not junk! I love all of the outfits you make." Gigi walked up beside me and pulled me into a hug.

"Oh. Then you'll have to show me sometime." Miss Denise smiled at me.

Huh.

Miss Denise was a lot more talkative compared to what I was used too. Did something change?

"C'mon, ladies! Let's get a move on!"

Mom was already at the front of the thrift store. We rushed on over as she held the door open for us. The generically named 'New & Used Thrift Shop!' was me and mom's go to place was finding clothes and planning outfits around it. It's why I liked modeling for my mom in the first place.

After we made our way down a long aisle of used children's clothes, I saw that miss Denise pulled Gigi to the side, seemingly having that talk from the car again. That was fine. It actually gave me a chance to try putting my plan into action. I walked a little faster, getting right up next to mom and interlocking her arm with mine.

"Mom! This way!" I pulled her away from the women's aisle that we usually went straight to when we visited this place, and went in the complete opposite direction, to the confusion of my mom. She was even further bewildered when I walked right up to one of the clothes racks in men's aisle and started flipping through a few of the hanging shirts.

I tried not to smirk as mom watched me slide clothes across the rack, bewilderment still plastered on her face. She longingly looked back to the women's aisle on the other side of the store.

Okay. Let's do some digging!

I stopped rifling through the hanging clothes when I came to a red, long-sleeve button up shirt. I excitedly grabbed it from the rack and turned to my mom, splaying the shirt across my chest.

"Mom! What do you think?" I said, pulling her attention back to me.

Mom squinted at it, then looked up to me.

"Are you... using it for scraps?" She said, folding her arms. "Oh! Are you cosplaying as one of your anime guys again?"

"No, actually. I think I want to buy this to wear. I like it." I told her as I looked at the tag. Honestly, I wasn't really that interested, but the shirt was decent, and I'd need it for part two of my plan.

Hm. Only six bucks.

"Here." I lay the shirt across my mom's outstretched arms and turn back to the rack. As I flipped through the clothes, I saw another appealing shirt and threw that one to my mom as well. Mom just stared down at the building pile in her arms.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

"Looking for stuff to wear." I told her, pretending to be oblivious to her growing concerns.

"Okay. Why are you in the men's department if you're looking to buy clothes?" Mom tilted her head as she came to a sudden realization. "Be honest, are you actually cosplaying a guy again?"

I stopped flipping through the rack, pretending to be nervous.

Okay. Here goes...

"Mom, what if I told you that I was a boy this entire time?"

For about five seconds, there was silence between us. Then, mom scoffed loudly.

"If you were a boy, I would know, I pushed you out of my body and changed your diapers, remember?" Mom laughed.

Okay...

"Then, what if I told you that I'm not a girl anymore. That I'm a boy now?"

Mom's laughing fit slowly calmed at my question. Her face looked like it was battling with itself on whether it wanted to be confused or if it wanted to continue entertaining my silly thought.

"Where... are you going with this? Why are we even in the men's section anyway?" Mom said, looking around like she was afraid someone would ask her why she was hanging around here.

"Mom," I started, turning to her. "What do you know about transgender people?"

Ah... There it is.

Sometimes there are things that you notice about people by being around them long enough. Like right now, I could tell that mom was very, very nervous. Her eyes went wide in recognition for a split second, then she looked away. Huffing out a sigh, she folded her arms under her chest as she fidgeted in place. She continued to slowly scan the area, like she was worried someone would pop out of the shadows and accuse her of a crime that she had done. Maybe I had made her uncomfortable, but I could now tell that she at least knew something when it came to the subject.

"Maya... what is this about?" She leaned in and whispered to me.

"I'm just curious about what you know." I told her. Really? I started to wonder if I should just drop the subject. I now know that she was at least a little aware of what I'm talking about. But I needed to see how she would react to one of her children coming out to her. Mom whirled back to me.

"What are you trying to tell me? Please, stop beating around the bush."

I searched her eyes. Eyes that told me that she wished she wasn't having this conversation right now. That I wasn't going to tell her something that would change the status quo, and I almost didn't. But...

For JJ.

I built up my courage, straightened my back, and met my mom's gaze head on.

"Mom. I'm a transgender boy."

Our staring contest resumed. Mom reached a hand up to massage the side of her head in frustration, turning away from me and walking down the aisle. She rubbed her temple for a bit, I guess trying to figure out what to do in this situation? She breathed out a deep sigh...

"So, what does that mean, exactly?" She asked me.

I let go a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Should I push a little further?

"It means," I started to explain. "That I'm a boy. And I want you and dad," Mom's eyes grew wide at that, "To address me as your son from now on."

"W-wait, wait a minute." Mom raised her hands up, like she was trying to prevent a sudden head-on collision. "Why? Why do you feel the need to do this?"

"Well, mom I-"

"This is so unnecessary." Mom cut me off without even allowing me to explain myself. She began pacing back and forth in the aisle, mumbling under her breath to herself.

"This again..."

"Both of my kids..."

"Mom?"

"Is it me..."

"Where did I do wrong..."

"Mom?! If you'd just listen for a second!"

"What did I do?"

Well, at least I got some intel out of this. Time to bail.

"Ma! I was-"

"Brianna."

Both mom and I glanced to the side, seeing my aunt Gigi step into view from the end of the aisle. She had a fierce glare on her face, but it wasn't directed at me...

"Bri, your child is trying to have a serious talk with you about something important, and you just ignore them?"

Mom looked genuinely perturbed at my aunt's accusation. She immediately whirled around on her to defend herself.

"I wasn't trying to ignore her. I'm just... confused." Mom's gaze turned back to me, inspecting me, like she would find all the answers to her problem somewhere on my body.

"They asked you to refer them as your son. Can you go along with that for now?" Gigi said, then peering over her shoulder at me. "So, you have a name you would rather like to go by? Or are you still thinking on that?"

Now it was my turn to be shocked. Everything was moving so fast from what mom and I were talking about just a few short seconds ago, it kinda threw me for a loop. Did... did Aunt Gigi understand what I was talking about?

"Uh, no?" I said mindlessly. I wasn't planning that far ahead, honestly. Really, all I wanted to do was gauge my mom's reaction, and then make plan's on how to proceed later.

Giannine nodded her head slowly. "And that's totally fine. Take your time to decide on one you'll like." She smiled at me. A genuine smile. A smile that made me feel guilty for leading everyone on.

"Giannine! What is going on her? Why would I go and do something like that?"

Mom started raising her voice. There weren't that many people here right now, but we were starting to draw attention to ourselves. Mom looked like she was about to go off again.

Time to bail!

"It was a joke!" I blurted out. Both Gigi and my mom snapped their full attention over to me. I went on to explain without waiting for them to respond. "It was a joke. There's a popular trend on the internet right now where you tell old people that you're the opposite gender, then you record their reaction." I told them.

Mom looked on, even more confused. But Aunt Gigi... she was just straight up disappointed. I avoided her gaze, feeling the guilt overpower me.

"I am not old!" Mom said, easily recovering from the discomfort. 

"Come on, mom. You're kinda old." I joked, brushing the whole situation under the rug.

"Okay, well..." Mom huffed, the tension leaving her body. "Delete the video! I don't want to see any of that online, you hear me?!"

"I didn't record anything, Ma! Relax, dang!" I held up my hands defensively.

Mom shook her head dismissively, moving over to the clothes rack where I had pulled the shirts from.

Giannine shuffled up next to me, arms still crossed in disappointment. "You know, that's not something you joke about." She whispered to me.

"I know." I told her, avoiding her gaze. I saw that mom was putting the clothes I had chosen back on the rack.

"Ah! Mom, no!" I said, reaching out to yank the shirt back off of the rack.

"No? I thought this was part of the joke."

"Nah, not this. I'm gonna use these for... scraps." I smiled at her sheepishly.

Mom looked like she wanted to argue against it, but she let me put the shirt back into her outstretched hands without much fuss.

"C'mon." I said, pushing her out of the men's section and back towards the oh so coveted women's section. I held my hands in a forgiving gesture as I looked to Aunt Gigi again as I passed her by, mouthing 'Sorry...' to her.

Mom regained her vigor when we finally got to the women's clothes. Gigi and Miss Denise joined us a short while later with a basket and we all poked around together. Mom and I quickly added more and more clothes to our growing pile next to us.

Mom stopped scanning through the rack when she saw what I was throwing into the basket with our stuff in it.

"Maya," she said, holding up a skirt a few sizes too small to fit even me. "You cannot tell me you are gonna try and squeeze your big behind in this tiny little thing!"

"Of course not Ma!" I told her as I threw an even smaller shirt onto the top of the pile.

It's not for me...