Dear diary…

Ha-ha… Just kidding.

· Back up notebook ship progress file part one

   Here reporting the successful completion of the first five plans regarding John’s pentagon of girl admirers. Each of them has had their first hang with him planned by yours truly. So, these are the developments so far in comparison to how they were before my intervention. If this were a rom-com anime or any anime in general, this would be the recap episode, the one people tend to skip, so feel free.

• Personal note:

> For the last two months I have noticed each girl has a different personality, which interferes with how they interact with John. ‘Kuudere’, ‘tsundere’, ‘yandere’, ‘chunibyo’, and ‘best girl’- (I mean shy beauty). The more I’ve begun my shipping process with them, the more the line between reality and fiction begins to blur. I mean I thought those personality types were only for fictional anime characters, I didn’t think real people would behave purely like that. I guess I’m having an epiphany again? Perhaps that’s how that girl from the dating sim felt, just, without the murderous intent, ha-ha.

• Anyways back on track

I. CURRENT DEVELOPMENTS (In order by date).

1. Gita has started to overcome her shyness and proposed a hanging out idea to do with John, going to the movies with him. She also was the one to invite him, without my help (except for some moral support on my part). She also followed my advice to find something else to do before the movie started, which led to her jogging with him. She still needs to work on holding conversations based on what she told me after her hang.

2. Panchikikku was able to hold back on her violent outbursts, enough for her to train with John, and not only that but to teach him something new. Her potty mouth needs work, and her tendency to grandstand, or hide her feelings under excuses or angry outbursts needs lots of work, but there is hope. She even acknowledges me now, but that is unimportant when it comes to John x Panchikikku.

3. Mattari is still cold, keeping her cool and barely showing emotion. But with lots of my assistance, she finally directed herself to John offering him juice, something not school related. Not much development there, but that is a failure on my part, due to my lack of ‘kuudere’ knowledge.

>Note to self: Watch anime with ‘kuudere’ heroine main girl.

4. Takamiya (Ao-sen) has overcome her fear of showing her warrior self (delusion) fully. Her fear of antagonizing her friends due to her feelings for John is gone. Developments were few, but HUGE because you can never really let someone love you if they don’t see the full you. Development was triggered by John himself and not by me, which means I need to up my shipping game a lot. I’M ALSO CLOSE FRIENDS WITH AO-SEN AGAIN, AND THAT’S GREAT; not really of relevance when it comes to this ship, but I can’t help but feel happy for reconciling with my first friend again.

5. Kiken is still as scary as ever. The dream I had where she kidnapped me and John, left scars in my brain. I can still see her creepy grin, I promise that if she had had a clock in her eye, I would have died then and there. But anyway, the real Kiken managed to control her ‘yanderisms’ by lobotomizing the three dolls with my face instead of having a ‘private chat’ with the girl from the French fry place. Small developments, which I kindda overshadowed by my ‘on purpose third wheeling’ Hehe. Come on, she had it coming with all the stalking and breaking into my apartment she does.

II. SUCCESS OF EACH PLAN (In order of BEST to WORST. Top priority in relation to John, but also taking into account, personal hurdles overcomed).

1. Panchikikku’s hang with John, not only helped her be less violent and harsh when talking to him but lead to closeness between the two, through the process of teaching and learning and mutual helping. This led to Panchikikku being more open with what she truly wants, both when it comes to John, and when it comes to others. I don’t like ‘tsunderes’ but I must admit this was the most successful of my first five plans. But the success of each plan doesn’t revolve only on what I can do, but on what each girl does, behaves, and adapts to the plan. It also involves how willing John is to it.

2. Ao-sen’s hang was a success, but mostly due to John, rather than me. But she had the guts to make a change and strive for it. This was an ultimate success on the personal level for her, which I’m sure will be bringing her and John closer. They did talk about Ao-sen’s invented lore, all the way back from the beach, instead of her trying to keep her ‘fake’ human persona.

3. Gita’s hang with John, allowed a conversation to flow somewhat more naturally between them, by providing a topic of conversation. But most conversations were initiated by him, so no big shyness overcoming during the plan, most of the overcoming came before, as she came up with ideas, and invited him herself. Due to my police incident, I couldn’t overwatch their movie hangout, but from what Gita told me, aside from movie-related conversation, and mutual worry over where I was, there were no major shockers.

4. Kiken’s relationship with John didn’t change at all during this plan, so the hang didn’t help, but it didn’t dis-help. It was neutral. She was able to control herself and her jealousy, so that’s good, but aside from idle chatter, and Kiken’s constant breach of John’s personal space, there were no major overcomings. I must say my third-wheeling didn’t help in making the plan successful.

5. Mattari’s student council meet-up with John was almost a total failure on my part. I didn’t know what to do at all, my mind was blank. It was boring as heck due to my shortcomings. The day was saved by John himself, but there were no big personal overcomings, nor were there any relationship shifts between them. I need to make it up to her.

III. LEVEL OF CLOSENESS TO JOHN (How close each girl is to John after each plan CLOSEST to FARTHEST).

*No changes in terms of closeness, there is no romantic interest from

John for any of them yet, (I can tell).

1. Ao-sen, is still John’s second-best friend, so among the girls, she is still the closest to him. They talk to each other the most, he tells her almost everything. The only person he talks to more than her is me. If anything, the date solidified her position in the list. He still doesn’t see her romantically though.

2. Due to her being the class rep., and he being treasurer, Mattari is the second of the girls to be close to him. Strictly professional, but they are friends who can talk over other things, it's just she is still very serious about everything. When he needs help, she is where he goes to. My awful plan didn’t change that.

3. Kiken is the third in closeness. To John, her clinginess is just a way to show friendly affection. He hasn’t seen what she has done, nor does he know it. To him, she is like that to everyone. She does provide him physical comfort (hugs) when he is feeling down, so yeah.

4. Panchikikku is the fourth closest one. Due to her violence towards him when she is pissed or flustered, he treads carefully with her. But they often talk about clubs and sport-related stuff. He enjoys debating on sports teams with him, even if he ends up hurt sometimes because of it. But the anger barrier keeps him at bay. I do see this changing if we keep up Panchikikku’s plan success rate.

5. Sadly, ‘best girl’ Gita is still in last place, because of her shyness. Most of the conversations John has with her are initiated by him and don’t last very much. It doesn’t help that when I’m around either John or Gita, hang more with me than with each other. The plan didn’t change that.

IV. SHIP TIER LIST (My favorite girls to end up with John)

*No changes so far, but it might in the future because I’m conflicted in

between some.

1. Gita x John: Gita is still 'best girl', she is always nice to John, and helps him a lot. She just doesn’t know how to start or hold a conversation with him before getting flustered. She is very nice to her friends (rivals), and to me as well. She’s my favorite, ‘best girl’ in my book. But her post wavered a bit due to my emotions regarding my first friend, and my rekindling of that friendship. I still wish John to be with Gita more, but… sigh… If only there were two Johns.

2. Ao-sen x John: Ao-sen, the childhood friend trope still has a hold on me. And the fact that she decided to be her full self without fear, just makes you want to root for her. Rekindling our friendship made me want her to win, but I felt this was a personal bias, so I pushed these ideas away. Although it’s silly since this whole part of the list is a personal bias.

3. Mattari x John: Mattari, the cold beauty, holds third place due to her responsible and helpful nature. She doesn’t ascend yet because she doesn’t show much emotion and has a cold personality when it comes to her relationships and responses, but her post almost lowered due to the success and development Panchikikku had during her practice with John.

4. Panchikikku x John: The only reason Panchikikku is not third right now is that she almost hit John when he said he couldn’t go to her boxing tryout and because whenever she says something that remotely reveals her true feelings, she hides it with grandstanding, a sense of superiority, and angered words or actions. I don’t want John to end up in a relationship where he becomes a punching bag physically and emotionally.

5. Kiken x John: And Kiken, she really fought her way to get to the fourth position on my list, but that is because I love to read ‘yandere’ stories, so she is still fifth. As the line between fiction and reality kept blurring for me, I almost lost sight that, ‘yanderism’ is not something I should endorse in real life, and not something I want for John. John is his own man; he shouldn’t belong to a girl that loves him as if he were an object.

• Final thoughts:

   I wonder if when I die, someone where to find this notebook and read its contents… What would they think of me? Would they agree with what I’m trying to do? I don’t know. But as a shipper, MY BIGGEST QUESTION WOULD BE WHO WOULD THEY THINK WOULD (OR SHOULD) HAVE WON JOHNS HEART? I wish I could Know, who, if any of them, would end up with him, and who would future people reading this notebook think would win.

   It also makes me ask myself if any people found this, would they think that I should end up with someone? Should I, the shipper, ever find love like I wished when I was a kid? I know it’s silly to hope like this. My master thought me that type of life wasn’t for me unless I changed who I am to impress the ladies, and if not that I would be the ones who find satisfaction in rom-com anime, by seeing other people find love. I know, but I ask myself if future generations reading the notes of a someday dead shipper would think the same way. Is there a ‘Nio x Someone’ ship? Ha-ha-ha.

   Whatever, I hope next time I update this journal there are new developments between John and the girls, and I hope this makes me grow as a shipper and improve on my plans so that John can find the perfect person for him, whether it is from my tier list or other. I just want them to be happy…

…

Next time:

What would become of the shipper, when the girls begin to suspect he plays favorites?