Just the sight of his face brings me contentment and peace, his smile the beauty of pure sunlight, his eyes a beautiful cloudy sky, his eyebrows simple yet elegant, his nose a perfect shape and cuteness, his hair a soft and calming brown and red.
His presence gives me a sense of ease I've never known before, simply thinking of him brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes from the deep longing in my heart to simply hold him in my arms.
His imperfections only enhance his beauty, small pockmarks on his face only highlighting his smile and eyes, his snarky and sarcastic nature only enhance how cute he is to me and show a small piece of the inner fire, his glasses enhance his beautiful eyes and adorable ears, there is nothing I can find or imagine to subtract from his beauty.
Years of sadness and loneliness and longing, wiped away from just one line asking "How have you been?". I told him of a small piece of our 5 years apart and told him of my loves beginning as a crush 8 years ago and asked how his life has gone these years. If only he would reply sooner so this anxiety could be calmed, just one word from his mouth would bring ecstasy, one date with him would be pure bliss, a life with him - heaven.
This is a turning point, will he love me as I have him or will he reject me as is my greatest fear. He has held my heart and love with him for so many years, will he keep and accept them or will he return them battered and weakened. He holds my fragile heart in his hands, all he needs do is crush or protect it, the choice is his.
He will always be my first true love, and will always have a home in my heart, even if I do not have one in his. My heart is wide open and vulnerable, can he be gentle with it? Will he come with open arms? Reluctance? Eagerness? Not at all? What does the future hold? Only Lady Luck, Lady Love and The Sun hold the answers and I pray they read this and see how deep he is in my heart, I hope they show him just how much I care. I hope, I hope, I HOPE, it's all I can do.
My love, should you ever read this, know this; you will always hold a piece of my heart, whether you take and accept it or leave it with me, a piece of my heart will always be yours and it will always care and hope the best for you. May whatever powers be simply give this love a chance, let him see my heart fully and truly without falsehood, let him understand that all I want is his love and happiness, show him how I truly feel for him so he may see the intensity of my caring and love, to see the tears of pure happiness simply thinking of him brings to me.
-The Lover
