Don’t Ph34r the Reaper
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The tank barrel is moving between Grif, Simmons and Ash.

"Why is it just sitting there?" Grif asks.

"Just trying to mess with our heads." Simmons tells him.

"I want one." Ash says. "I can blow everything up with it!"

"Shut it!" Grif and Simmons yell to Ash.

"Let's get back to the Warthog." Simmons says. "Okay, you two ready? Let's do this on three. One..."

"Wait!" Grif stops Simmons. "On three? Or three and then go?"

"On three. It's always faster to go on three."

"Okay! Okay! On three!"

"Ready? One..."

Grif turns around and runs towards the jeep. Ash turns around and watches Grif run to the jeep.

"Two..."

The tank turret moves and aims at the Warthog. 

"Three!" Simmons turns around and sees Grif all the way ahead of him. "Oh, you back-stabbing cockbite!"

The tank fires and the shell hits the ground next to the jeep and it goes flying.

"Son of a bitch!" Simmons yells as he ducks.

"Big boom!" Ash yells and he laughs. The tank then aims down towards Ash. "Son of a bitch."

He and Simmons begin to run as the tank follows after them and fires.

"Shit, God dammit!" Simmons yells.

A shell flies over Ash's head. "I don't like it when things shoot at me!"

Grif, Simmons and Ash hide behind a big rock.

"Hey, I have a great idea." Simmons tells Grif. A shell hits the rock. "Let's get out of the jeep, and sneak around the back of the rock." A shell hits the rock. "Great plan, you idiot!"

Ash peeks his head out from behind the rock. "I still want one!" A shell flies over his head and he ducks back down.

Simmons looks at Ash. "Stay down you, crazy lunatic."

The Tank stops firing.

Up to the blues.

Church is looking down to the tank. "Hey, Tucker! Look at this, man. It's the rookie! And he brought the tank out to scare off the Reds!"

"What? No way!" Tucker says in shock.

Church yells down to Caboose. "Hey, rookie, good job, man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?"

The tank turret turns and aims at Church.

"That's not a target, that's Church." Caboose says down in the tank.

"Yeah, that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man?"

"Target locked." Shelia, the tanks A.I. says as it aims at Church.

"What? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me, nice lady!" Caboose freaks out.

"Firing main cannon." Shelia says.

"Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh." Tucker says as he looks at Church.

"What?" Church asks. "Oh, son of a bi-"

The tank fires and the shell hits Church. Throwing him up into the air and then he falls back to the ground.

"Holy fuck!" Tucker yells. "Church, are you okay?" Church doesn't respond. "Talk to me! Church!" Tucker goes to the edge of the cliff and looks down to Caboose. "You shot Church, you team killing fucktard!"

"Auto-fire sequence deactivated." Sheila says as the tank turret lowers.

"Tucker..." Church says in a strained voice as he lays on the ground. "Tucker!"

"Church!" Tucker yells. "It's going to be okay, man!"

"No... I... I'm not- I'm not gonna make it... Tucker... There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know... I always hated you. I always hated you the most."

"Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick."

"Okay. Hrrrrk.... blegh!" Church dies.

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06-27-2022

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