Grif, Simmons and Ash are standing on the edge of Red base. Lopez is in the background.

Simmons looks to Grif and Ash. "Hey."

"Yeah?" Grif and Ash say.

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?" Simmons asks.

"No. I never, ever, wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch." Grif says.

"So I don't blow something up." Ash says.

Lopez makes a weird noise.

Simmons turns around and looks to Lopez. "Huh? What's wrong with Lopez?" 

Grif and Ash turn around.

"I don't care." Grif states.

"Hey, Lopez, uh, you okay, man?"

"Guys, I need to give... you a... warning..." Lopez? says. "What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!"

"Uh-huh. Sure." Ash says

"No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!"

Lopez keeps going on and on.

Grif speaks up. "Hey, I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language."

The tank is in the background.

"Are you an idiot? We're on an alien planet." Ash says to Grif.

"What are you, a communist?" Grif asks Ash.

The tank fires and the shell hots the base.

"Son of a bitch!" Grif, Ash and Simmons yell.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Lopez? yells.

The four run and take cover on the ramps. Then Sarge's voice comes over the radio.

"Simmons, I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by."

"Roger that." Simmons replies.

A shell hits the base.

"I'll, uh... I'll stay here." Grif says.

"Yeah. Stay here and guard this cement ramp." A shell hits the base. "It's vital to our success."

"What should I do?" Ash asks.

"Be a distraction!" Sarge says over coms. 

"Aw, man." Ash says with disappointment. 

The Warthog comes by and Simmons hops on the gunner seat. "Alright, I'm on board."

Ash walks on top of the base and watches as the Warthog gets shot by the tank. "Okay, then." Ash walks back to the ramp just as Sarge and Simmons walk up the ramp.

"Wow, back so soon?" Grif asks. "You guys win the war already?"

Another shell his the base.

Simmons turns to Sarge. "Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge?"

"If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya. Slowly." Sarge tells Grif and Simmons.

"Ha!" Ash laughs at Simmons and Grif.

"Shut it!" Grif and Simmons yell at Ash.

Another shell hits the base and Grif crouches. 

"Uh, hey, Simmons? By the way... The ramp is secure."

Another shell hits the base and Donut walks up the opposite ramp.

"Hey, what're you guys doing up here?!" Donut asks them.

Grif stands up and turns to Donut. "That chick in the black armor's back!"

"What chick? The one that stuck the grenade to my head?"

"That's the one." Simmons says to Donut.

"The same chick whose fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?"

"Donut..." Grif starts. "I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity, but really, dude." Another shell hits the base. "It's a whole lot faster just to say pink."

Donut ignores him. "Ohh! Oh, I been waiting for this." he walks to the edge of the base. "Hey, bitch! Remember me? I saved something for ya!"

Donut throws a plasma grenade and everyone watches as it sails through the sky and lands in the drive's seat of the tank, right on Tex.

"Hell yeah!" Donut yells. "Three points, you dirty whore!"

The grenade explodes.

Lopez yells and runs off the base and towards the tank. Sarge, Grif, Simmons and Ash watch as Lopez run towards the tank.

"Uh, Where's Lopez going?" Grif asks.

"To fight the enemy head on in hand-to-hand combat." Sarge says. "Mano y mano. What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Grif. And that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo. Adios."

Simmons looks to Sarge. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"Nah. That would just ruin the moment."

"Can I have the-" Ash starts.

"No!" Sarge, Simmons and Grif yell to Ash.

"I never get what I want." Ash pouts.

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06-27-2022