O'Malley/Doc are up on a cliff, with Lopez, overlooking the Reds and Blues.

O'Malley is laughing. "You fools! Have fallen right into my hands. Only now, do you realize the folly of your follies! Prepare for an oblivion for which there is no preparation!" He laughs maniacally.

"O'Malley!" Simmons yells. "The Reds and Blues are working together now."

"It's my worst nightmare!" Ash yells.

Simmons continues. "You can't hope to beat us!"

"You fool!" O'Malley yells. "My metallic friend is the only ally I need." He turns to Lopez. "Lopez, activate weather control routines."

"Okay." Lopez says as he starts to glow.

"Are those runic symbols a sign of some ancient technology?" Simmons asks.

"No, I used to draw them on my binder during study hall." Doc informs him. "I always wanted to use them for something. Aren't they cool?"

"Shut up!" O'Malley yells.

"Oh, Sampson's back hair." Sarge yells. "They found our secret weapon."

"NOOO!" Ash yells. "I was saving it for a special occasion! And it was only missing a single part to make it work!"

"Hahaha, yes." O'Malley starts. "And now that I've located those 'D' batteries, the Universe will be mine! Hahahaha!"

Tucker turns to Ash. "Are you serious? You couldn't find D batteries."

Ash turns to him. "Only at gas stations, And I'm not paying $16.00 for a pack of two batteries!"

Church walks up to the group. "What's going on?"

"You want the long version or the short?" Sarge asks. "Basically you've got a fifty megaton bomb in your gut-"

"Ten, sir." Simmons corrects Sarge.

Sarge continues. "And Lopez is about to kill us all."

Grif is running up to the group.

"That didn't make any sense, what's the long version?" Church asks.

"That was the long version." Tucker tells him. "The short version is 'we're boned.' "

Grif goes over to Simmons and Ash.

"Hey Grif, are you okay?" Simmons asks.

"I've done hard time, Simmons." Grif tells him. "I'm not the man you used to know."

"What?" Ash asks. "We've only been gone for about five hours."

"Time moves slower on the inside, Ash." Grif says. "It seemed like seven or eight hours to me."

A rocket flies past the group and hits the ground nearby. Everyone turns to O'Malley.

O'Malley is holding a rocket launcher. "You foolish fools will never defeat me." Everyone scatters. "You're far to busy being foolish." Ash hides behind a tree with Simmons. "HAHA, OBLIVION IS AT HAND!"

"Sarge, I have an idea, but I need you to distract him." Simmons says.

"Will do!" Sarge yells.

Sarge turns to Grif. "Grif... I've never believed in you. Not even for a moment! But, now... is your chance to prove yourself. To me."

"What can I do, Sarge?" Grif asks.

"I need you to run right at O'Malley."

"And shank him with my Shiv?" Grif asks.

"No. When he blows you up with the rocket. Try to see if you can get your dismembered limbs and guts to clog the barrels of his rocket launcher." Sarge tells Grif.

"You're kidding...."

"It's a remote chance, I know. But it's worth a shot."

O'Malley appears not too far from them. "OOOOOOOBLIVION IS AT HAND." He laughs.

"Cover your ears guys." Doc says to Grif and Sarge. "This thing is REALLY loud."

"This is it!" Grif yells.

"Not so fast, O'Malley!" Simmons yells. "Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can!"

A portal opens up next to Simmons.

A red soldier come out of the portal. "Alright! New level! Yeah!"

More Reds and Blues come out of the portal.

"Hey guys, you want your flag?" Simmons catches the attention of the Red and Blue soldiers. Simmons motions to O'Malley. "He's the one that has it!"

The reds and blue soldiers look to O'Malley.

"The crusade has begun!" A red yells. "Our Hour of Glory is now at hand! Let all who would stand against us be washed in our divine light!"

The Reds and Blues shoot at O'Malley.

Then they charge at him.

"Get away from me!" O'Malley yells. The soldiers surround O'Malley. "Ouch! Ow! Stop it! Stop! Ow!

"Serves him right." Ash says.

Simmons and Ash run over to Sarge.

"We need to disarm Church's bomb, Sarge!" Ash yells.

"Right!" Sarge agrees.

They look over to Church and see him get struck by lighting.

The reds run over to him.

"Hold still, son." Sarge tells Church. "This'll just take a second."

Sarge crouches down.

"Don't you ever install anything above the waist?" Church asks.

"Oh no!" Sarge yells. "That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!"

"Oh, no." Ash says sarcastically.

"Can you do it manually?" Simmons asks.

Sarge turns to Simmons. "Impossible. I had it specifically designed is so that I or Ash wouldn't be able to defuse it."

"Why?" Grif asks.

"In case I or Ash fell into the wrong hands, and was brainwashed to help the blues!" Sarge explains to Grif.

"Nice thinking, sir." Simmons says.

Grif turns to Simmons. "You had to get just one last ass-kiss in before we died, didn't you?"

The red and Blue soldiers are T-bagging O'Malley.

"No, not-! That's disgusting!" O'Malley yells. "What are you doing?"

Tucker takes out a rocket launcher. "Church, there's only one thing I can do." He aims it at Church.

"Hey, what the hell!?" Church yells.

"There's only 20 seconds left!" Simmons informs the group.

"What ever will we do?" Ash says sarcastically.

"If I blow you up before the bomb foes off, there's at least a small chance the rest of us will live!" Tucker says.

"But the rocket'll kill me!" Church says.

"That's the point blue!" Ash says.

"Up your's red!" Church says to Ash.

"Ten seconds!" Simmons informs.

"You're going to die, anyway when the bomb goes off!" Grif says.

"What can I tell you, Pal? Misery love company." Church says.

"Five seconds!" Simmons informs.

"Sorry, Church." Tucker says.

"Man, this blows. You guys suck!" Church says.

Suddenly the rocket launcher is shot out of Tucker's hand. "What the hell?"

Everyone looks to the side and sees Wyoming up on a cliff holding a sniper rifle.

"Sorry, Private Tucker, but I always get my man!" Wyoming says. "Say goodbye, mate."

Church's stomach beeps.

"Uh, guys?" Simmons gets the groups attention. "I hate to interrupt, but zero seconds."

"BOOOM!" Ash yells.

"Huh?" A dialing noise is heard from Church. "Oh, son of a-"

.

.

.

.

.

"The bomb must've gone off." Sarge says.

"Where are we?" Grif asks.

"Is this hell?" Ash asks. "If it is, hell sucks!"

"Are we dead?" Simmons asks.

"I don't want to be dead!" Caboose yells. "I want to be alive! Or a cowboy!"

"Dead?" Donut asks. "Aw, man! Tomorrow was All-You-Can-Eat day at the chow hall, and I wanted to eat all that I could!"

"At least something I built worked!" Ash laughs.

"We're not dead, idiots! We're stuck in some kind of temporal-- Oh no! Heads up, boys! prepare for impact!"

.

.

.

.

Tucker groans. "What happened?"

Donut looks down on him. "Hey! He's awake!"

"I still wanna know why I don't get a laser gun." Grif says.

"Shut up, dumbass." Simmons says.

"Guys!" Donut yells. "Tucker's awake!"

Simmons looks down on Tucker.

"Hey hey hey, take it easy, Tucker. You've been out a while."

Grif pops up. "And I thought I was lazy."

Ash pops over.

(I had a better photo, but it wouldn't work.)

"Finally, I was wondering when you were gonna wake up." Ash says.

Tucker looks at all of them.

"What's going on? Who are you people?" Tucker asks.

"He has amnesia!" Donut says. "Tucker! Don't worry! You are safe! We're the Reds! We are your mortal enemies!" He looks at Simmons. "Wait.. That didn't sound right."

Caboose walks over to Tucker. "Tucker! Tucker! I am so glad you are alive!"

"Caboose?!" Tucker asks. "Still so dumb, but you look so different!"

"We're in the future!" Caboose says. "Things are very shiny here!"

"The future?" Tucker asks. "Oh, I can't fuckin' wait to her this one."

Sarge comes over. "Obviously Lopez's weather matrix combined with the power of bomb 21 to create an explosion so large is caused a temporal rift in time that cascaded throughout the--"

"Woah, wait a second, wait a second. I don't understand."

"Sarge! Can we do the skit, now?" Donut asks.

"Yeah!" Caboose is excited.

"No!" Ash is not excited. 

"Yes." Simmons says.

"I don't wanna do that dumb skit." Grif says.

"Fine! But only because I want to see Grif be miserable." Sarge says. "I miss the old days!"

"Great! Places everyone!" Donut says. Everyone moves away as Donut clears his throat.

After the play because I really don't want to write it.

"Listen, son." Sarge starts. "You and your buddy, Church, set off a bomb, which when combined with the weather machinery in Lopez made an explosions so large it destroyed the present!"

"Destroyed the present?" Tucker asks. "Then where are we?"

"We're in the future, numbnuts." Simmons says.

"Which sucks since they don't have scarlet colored armor. Only Crimson!" Ash says.

"Aren't we in the present right now?" Tucker asks. "Aren't we always in the present?"

Simmons turns to Grif and Ash. "Unbelievable, he can't cope with the loss! He's in denial!"

"That is so sad." Grif says.

"We should put him down." Ash says.

"Son, you're just not listenin'." Sarge says to Tucker. "The present has been destroyed! It no longer exists! We are in the future!"

"AHHHH THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Tucker yells.

"I'm currently working on a short film to explain it." Donut says. "Tom Cruise has the script, and I hear he's veeeerry interested!"

"I like Tom Hanks better!" Ash says.

"You're telling me a bomb sent us into the future?" Tucker asks.

"Yeah, you see luckily Church was facing forward when the bomb went off, and we were standing in front of him." Simmons says. "So that sent us forward into the future!"

"Of course he was facing forward!" Tucker yells. "What other way do people face?"

"You see!?" Simmons yells. "That's what I meant by luckily!"

"What happened to Church?" Asks Tucker.

"Hm. Never really thought about him!" Sarge says.

"Yeah, weird. I guess he's dead." Simmons says.

"Sounds good to me! Let's go with that!"

"He could be hurt, trapped in the present!" Tucker says.

"That's impossible, son." Sarge says. "The present doesn't exist anymore! What you're proposing just isn't very good science!"

"Don't you see?!" Tucker yells. "If Church was facing forward during the explosion, and that blew us into the future, that could mean that he was backward into the...Oh no!"

"Backwards into what?" Sarge asks. "A wall? A broom closet?"

"A bigger explosion?" Ash asks.

"A big rock" Grif asks.

"Another big rock?" Caboose asks.

"No! Into the past!" Tucker yells.