Sarge and Donut are working on the Warthog. 

"Donut! Hold the light right there. No, not on me! On that!
 Sarge says. "Why would I need the light on my face?"

"Hey, Sarge! What's that metal thing that looks like a bunny?" Donut asks. "Ooh! Ooh! And what's that other metal thing that looks like a soup can!?"

"Don't touch anything, Donut!" Sarge says. "Okay, fellas, I think I've got it. Give her a crank!" It's silent. "Guys?" Another few seconds of silence. "Hey! What in tarnation are you knuckleheads doin' up there!?"

Tucker, Simmons and Ash are standing next to the car.

"No, I don't think getting new rims for the jeep's a good idea." Simmons says to Grif.

"Oh, come on!" Grif yells. "If we all kick in, we can get some spinners, some kickass subs, hydraulics!"

"I'm in." Tucker says.

"That sounds cool." Ash says.

"Why?" Simmons asks.

"Uh, for style?" Grif says.

"For chicks!" Tucker yells.

Simmons turns to Tucker. "What chicks? There's no one for miles! We don't even know if anyone's still alive!"

"What, suddenly you're a pessimist?" Grif asks.

"Yeah, but if we do find some woman, we will literally be the last men on earth for them." Tucker says.

"He's right."

"All my life, I've had girls tell me 'Not if you were the last man on earth!'" He chuckles. "Well that may be true, but let's see what happens when I'm the last man on earth with a sweet-ass, pimped out ride, bitch!"

"You still couldn't get any ladies then." Ash says to Tucker.

"Oh, shut up. You're insane." Tucker says to Ash.

"I may be insane, but I still could get a lady." Ash says.

Sarge stands up. "If you ladies are through gossiping, I could use some help fixin' our vehicle!"

"Oh, yeah, right!" Grif says. "Here, let me try." Grif turns the car on.

"Wait!" Sarge yells as the engine turns on.

Donut screams in pain. 

"Donut! Are you okay?" Sarge asks.

Donut is crying. "I was just petting the bunny.... And then it went into the soup can... And part of my hand went with it."

Sarge kneels down and grumbles. 

Ash laughs at Donut.

"Bunny and hand soup." Tucker starts. "Just like Mom used to make."

"What the hell?" Ash ask.

Sarge goes back under the Warthog. "Donut! I told you not to touch anything! You touched everything! That's the exact opposite of touching nothing!"

Simmons gets in the passenger seat of the Warthog.

"Hey, What're you doing?" Grif asks Simmons.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Simmons asks. "I'm getting in the jeep."

"What are we, on a date?" Grif asks. "Get in the back." 

Simmons hops out. "Oh, you're so insecure!"

"You are too!" Ash yells.

"Shut it!" Simmons yells at him.

Sarge pops back up. "Will you three shut up. We need to get this thing fixed."

"I feel dizzy, Sarge!" Donut says.

"Aw, that's just blood loss." Sarge explains. "You'll make new blood! You just need some orange juice!"

"What's the rush of getting this thing fixed, anyway?" Tucker asks.

"Listen, dirtbag. I know on Blue Team you like to lollygag a bit--"

Tucker interrupts Sarge. "There is no Blue Team! It's all a lie! Red and Blue are the same!"

"He's doing it again!" Ash says.

"You sound like a conspiracy nut when you talk about that stuff." Simmons tells Tucker. "'The government put a chip in my brain!'"

"'The President can hear my thoughts.'" Grif says.

"'Birds aren't real.'" Ash says.

"'We never landed on the sun!'" Donut says.

Grif fake gasps. "'They put fluoride in my water!'"

"Actually, that one's true." Simmons says to Grif.

"It is?" Grif asks. "No wonder I listen to so much pop music."

We're fixing the keep because we need to be prepared!" Sarge says. "Just as our enemies are no doubt preparing to attack us at this very moment!"

"But you guys think I'm your enemy and I'm not preparin' to do anything!" Tucker says. "'Cept get L-A-I-D!" Everyone just stares at him. "Laid."

"Yeah, we can spell." Grif says. "We just think that was fucking weak."

"My shoulder hurts." Ash says.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

06-30-2022