"I think they're distracted." Sarge states. "Let's use this chance to slip away."

"Great idea, sir!" Simmons says. "I have a lock on that distress signal. We could head right for it."

"Good thinking, Simmons." Sarge says. "Everybody in the jeep."

"Shotgun!" Simmons yells.
"Shotgun!" Grif and Ash yell a second later. "Fuck!"

"Shotguns lap!" Donut says.

"Fuck!" Simmons yells.

"There's just no room for five people. Two of you will have to jog alongside. Grif."

"Jog? What's that?" Grif asks.

Simmons turns to Grif. "It's like running slowly. Dear God, you don't what jogging means?"

"Yeah, you lost me at running." Grif says. "Sorry, it's not in my contract."

Ash turns to Grif. "You're so fucking lazy."

Donut speaks up. "Oh don't worry! I'll do it. Just give me one second while I put my jogging shorts on."

"Wait, I want to reconsider." Grif says.

"Who wants to hold my ankles while I stretch out my hammies?" Donut asks.

"No one's falling for that twice, Donut." Sarge states.

Over with the Blues.

Tex walks back inside and turns to Donut. "Alright, I think I can take him. I just need a better weapon."

"Want me to help you find one?" Tucker asks.

"Hmm, why don't you just give me your sword?" Tex asks. 

"No way, I can see right through your little ploy. You just want me to give you the sword!"

"That's what I just said!"

"Yeah, but it's the way you said it."

"You know, it's a good thing that sword doesn't run on brain power." Tex says she then looks behind him. "Oh my God, Tucker, look! Hot chicks!"

"Nice try." Tucker says. "You just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and take the sword."

"Now the hot girls are makin' out!"

"Ok, that's worth the risk." Tucker turns around and there are no hot chicks.

"Ahh, Crap."

Tex knocks Tucker out and he falls from the second floor down to the first and Tex goes over to the energy sword.

With Caboose

"Just stay calm, Andy." Caboose says. "Everything will be fine.

"I'm Okay." Andy says. "Really, I like explosions. You, on the other hand, look a little nervous."

"You know, I always get a little nervous during battles."  Caboose starts. "I think it's cause we never win."

"Yeah, don't sweat it." Andy says. "If they get in the base, I'll just explode and kill everybody."

"Wouldn't that kill us too, Andy?"

"Heh. You can't name an omelette without blowing up a few eggs."

It's silent for a few seconds. "I like eggs."

"Me too!"

Over to Church

He's talking to Gary.

"Garry is it possible that the great destroyer can beat an entire army of people?" Church asks.

Gary continues. "Who will come to claim the great weapon."

"Yeah that's great."

"Prepare, one and all. The fulfillment of the great prophecy is at hand."

"So you have no good news for me today?" Church asks.

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Over with the Reds.

Ash is standing on the Roof of the Warthog.

"Let's go men!" Sarge yells.

A robot turns around and follows the reds.

"One of them is following us!" Grif says.

"We're going too slow!" Sarge yells. "We have to leave Someone behind!"

The Warthog stops on the beach.

"Not it!" Grif says.

"Not it!" Ash yells.

"Not it." Simmons says.

Sarge hops out of the Warthog as Donut catches up to them.

"What?!" Donut shouts in alarm. "No way! You're leaving me behind?!"

"Sorry Donut, but the military law is very clear in regards to the 'not it' methodology for making decisions." Sarge explains.

"Aw man!" Donut says. "There's still so much about the army that I don't understand!"

Grif spots the slow robot.

"Here he comes!" Grif yells.

"Donut you hide here and wait for the guy tailing us." Sarge orders. "And when he passes shoot him square in the back and watch him die! Just like John Wayne would have done!"

"Hurry up guys!" Grif yells. "He's getting closer! No wait, no he- Yeah he is getting closer! No. Yes!"

"All this retreating and shooting people in the back, doesn't seem very noble." Donut says.

"We're not retreating!" Sarge says. "We're advancing. Towards future victory!"

"How will I find you guys?" Donut asks.

"Just follow the distress signal to its source!" Simmons says. "You'll find us there!"

Sarge hops back in the car.

"But I don't have a way to track it!" Donut says.

Simmons, Ash and Sarge look at each other. Then back to Donut.

"Excellent point, Donut." Sarge says.

Sarge and the rest drive off.

"Thank...you sir?" Donut says in confusion. "Awww." He exhales as he turns to the robot. Then he clicks his tongue and looks to the robot slowly approaching. "ooh, God. Welp I got some time." He walks off.

Over with the O'Malley

The robot fire one by one and say attack.

O'Malley laughs.

"Faster!" O'Malley shouts. "Faster!! Pathetic." He turns to Lopez. "Lopez. How do I say faster in Spanish?!"

The two mumble as they robots fire.

"Okay, got it."

O'Malley turns to the robot army and clears his throat. "Hey everyone! I am a purple jerk, and I love to drink motor oil."

The robots stop and turn to him.

O'Malley looks at Lopez. "That was rather long to mean hurry up!"

Over with Donut.

"Oh man! It's that creepy dude! I wonder why he's insulting himself..." Then Donut speaks in Spanish. "How strange.' 

"Oh! The motorcycle!"

Over with O'Malley

He's insulting himself in Spanish. "My butt is very big. And I like to rub my butt. And I like to sniff my own butt and kiss my own butt." He turns to Lopez. "Are your sure Culo means evil?

"Hey boss, Someone is stealing your vehicle." Lopez says as Donut hops in the ghost and drives off.

"Aww drat! I only had 2 payments left!"

"Do you have insurance on it?" Lopez asks.

"Or course not!"

"Why not?"

"It's a scam!" O'Malley says.

"We live in a bad neighborhood." Lopez says.

"Or course we live in a bad neighborhood. We're evil doers! We would make the neighborhood bad."

Over with Church and Tucker

"Whoah, Tucker, are you okay?" Church asks Tucker.

Tucker groans as he gets up. "Ah damn. Okay, new rule: We start rotating knockouts. Next time it's your turn."

"Ey, good idea." Church says. "And next time Caboose decides he wants to go around team killing. You can take that one."

"Maybe we should all stick to what we know best."

"Hey! Where's your weapon?" Church asks.

"You think she knocked me out for fun? This isn't Tuesday dude. She took it!"

"Man. This is not gonna be good."

Over with O'Malley.

A plasma grenade sticks to one of the robots.

"Hey! A spid.."

It explodes taking out all the robots.

"What was that?!" O'Malley shouts. 

"Uh oh." Doc says as more robots blow up.

"Lopez, do you see anything?" O'Malley asks.

"No, just dead robots everywhere. My beautiful robot army destroyed."

"I'm going to sneak around the side." O'Malley informs. "Let me know if you see anything!"  Lopez doesn't answer and something walks up behind O'Malley. "Lopez? Lopez!! Lopez!! Oh no!" O'Malley turns around. "NOOOOOOOoooooo!"

Over with the reds.

The reds are in a cave following Simmons.

"Just a little further guys." Simmons says.

"You stole that thing all by yourself?" Sarge asks Donut.

"Yep! And then I ran over the guy that was chasing us!" Donut says. "And a few other innocent pedestrians!"

"I'm so proud of you!" Sarge says.

"Yeah" Donut starts. "Stealing and killing are a huge rush. I wish I started at a much younger age. I caught the fever!"

Grif and Ash are out of the cave and Simmons walks up behind them.

"Okay," Simmons begins. "the source of the distress signal is right outside this- crap."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo." Grif shouts.

They're back in Blood Gulch.

"FUCK YES!" Ash shouts.

"This sucks." Grif says.

Over with Church and Tucker

They're overlooking the carnage.

"Wow." Church says. "She really did a lot of damage."

"Are you surprised?" Tucker asks Church.

"No, not really. I guess not."

"I'll tell you what. It's days like today. I'm really glad she's on our side."

Church turns around and sees Tex.

"Who's on our side?" Tex asks then she notices all the carnage. "Woah! Who killed all the robots?!"

"You did." Church says.

"No I didn't." Tex replies. 

"What?!"

"I've been down stairs trying to figure out how to turn this sword on."

"Wait a second..." Church walks off.

 "Just push the power button!" Tucker tells her.

"I did, that didn't work." Tex states.

"Yeah that's surprising." Tucker says sarcastically. 

Over with Church.

"The Great destroyer has arrived. The end is near." Gray repeats this over and over as Church walks up to him.

"Oh come on. Gary, Gary, Gary, stop stop stop stop stop!" Church says. "Hey, If Tex is not the destroyer from the prophecy then who is?!"

Gary stops.

"Gary?" Church asks.

"Knock Knock." Gary says.

"Who's there?" Church asks Gary.

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07-01-2022

(What's your guy's favorite Ash moment so far.)

(For the most of next Season, I'm just gonna do the Red's POV. Till all the Blues get back to Blood Gulch.)