Grif is yelling. "Nooooooooooo-"

"WOAH!" He dodges a sniper round. "Noo-! NO." he dodges another sniper round.

"That was close." Sarge says.

"Thank you sir!" Simmons yells.

"Noo!" Grif yells again as Donut fires off a round.

"Donut, you are going outta turn." Sarge says.

"I thought I went after Simmons." Donut says.

"No, we go in line." Sarge says. The line is Donut, Sarge, Ash, Simmons. 

Sarge continues. "It goes you, then me, then Ash, then Simmons."

Sarge continues. "Then back down to me, then you, then me, then me, then Ash, then me, Then Simmons, then me, you, me, ash, me, you, Simmons, me,me,me, Simmons, ash, you. Me. Then me again. It makes perfect sense."

Simmons turns to Sarge. "But doesn't that mean you go twice as much? Or, ten times as much?"

Sarge fires his sniper rifle at Grif.

"OW!" Grif yells.

"This is the best game since Grifball." Sarge says.

"I knew there was a reason for me to keep so many snipers around." Ash says.

"I'm not comin' down!" Grif yells.

"Hey Grif!" Sarge yells. "Move back and forth like one of those ducks at the carnival!" Grif ducks as Sarge fires again. "No, don't duck, that makes you harder to hit. Act like a duck!"

Simmons turns to Sarge. "Wait a minute, that was my turn!"

Sarge reloads his sniper rifle. "This is the Lighting Round."

"Who's in the Lightning Round--"

"Me." Sarge says as he fires his Sniper.

"Alright, fuck this, I'm comin' down!" Grif yells. Sarge shoots him. "OW! I said I'm coming down!"

"Yeah!" Sarge yells. "Buzzer-Beater! Take that you stupid duck!"

.

.

.

.

.

Outside of Red Base

"Alright men, stay out of sight, we have to be prepared for anything." Sarge tells his team.

"Uh, why are we hiding from our own base?" Grif asks

"Because! We have no idea what's inside." Sarge says.

"Anything could have occupied the base after we jumped into the future." Simmons says.

"I hope all my stuff is alright." Ash says.

"Oh my god!" Donut starts. "What if we're in there?"

"Yeah--no, wait, aren't we out here?" Grif is confused.

"I mean past versions of ourselves!" Donut explains. "We could go in there and meet ourselves! Oh man, we'd be best friends, we'd have so much in common! Finally! Someone who shares the pain!"

Ash speaks up. "The Multiverse theory!" Everyone looks to him. "Multiverse theory suggests that our universe, with all its hundreds of billions of galaxies and almost countless stars, spanning tens of billions of light-years, may not be the only one. Instead, there may be an entirely different universe, distantly separated from ours — and another, and another."

"What?" Grif says with great confusion.

Simmons sighs. "That's not how time travel works. We don't leave copies of ourselves behind. And even if we did, they'd all be 800 years old, they'd all be dead by now."

"Speak for yourself, I could live to be 800, I'm on this awesome diet!" Donut explains.

"Still doin' that high-fat, low-fiber, liquid diet where you drink nothin' but bacon grease?" Sarge asks.

"Nah, that was just a fad." Donut says.

"What's the new one?"

"I only eat foods that begin with vowels." Donuts explains.

"That sounds really hard, what did you have for breakfast?" Simmons asks.

"Eggs and Oreos." Donut says. "And for lunch I'm having asparagus. And Oreos."

"Holy Crap!" Grif shouts. "I've been on that diet for years! I had no idea I was so healthy. I even cut out all the eggs. And I don't even know what asparagus is."

Ash turns to Grif. "You're such a fat ass and an idiot."

"Oh, shut up! You always blow up!" Grif says to Ash.

Sarge speaks up. "Alright men, stop your chatter boxin'. We've got to keep out eyes open for any sign of enemy activity."

Sarge continues. "I can't have you not paying attention. We have to be alert."

Sarge continues. "Constant vigilance, composed, attentive."

"See? That's much better."

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07-01-2022