Baxterbro

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Donut finishes a story he was telling. "And that's how I rescued you three and saved the day. The. End. Any questions?"

"Donut," Grif starts. "That was the longest story I've ever heard and I don't think I believed a word of it."

"It was the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Ash says. "I did like the explosions towards the end."

"And quite frankly I found the showtune in the middle to be a little over the top." Sarge says.

"Every word is absolutely true." Donut says. "It was the best military operation you three ever slept through."

If everything went so well, then where's our jeep?" Grif asks.

"Well..." Donut starts. "I have a song I'd like to sing about that."

Ash slowly brings his DMR up.

Over with Simmons, Church and Shelia.

"Ok, that red one?" Church says to Simmons. "That's Sarge.

"He's their leader." Church explains.

Church continues. "Which is lucky for us because... Well, he's not that good of a leader."

"Ok." Simmons says.

"And the one next to him is Donut. I like Donut, he's pretty harmless man. I don't think he'd hurt a fly."

"Yeah, plus he's a little..."

"A little what?" Church asks.

"You know..." Simmons starts. 

"No, I... no, I don't know."

"You know, he's... kind of into... 'girly stuff' ... like... feelings and... oh... you know. "

"Uh, I think you might be projecting... there."

"I'm not projecting, I'm just stating an observation."

"I don't know, man. You seem pretty defensive for somebody who's not projecting."

"His armor is pink!"

"Pink?" Church asks. "I wouldn't say pink. Maybe... you know... slightly less red, but..."

"It's pink! Trust me... I know pink when I see it."

"Uh, yeah... I bet? You want to talk about it?"

"No!"

Church looks back to red base. "The one in Crimson armor is, Ash. I really don't know what to say about him other than he's bat shit insane and likes to blow stuff up and build weapons.... that'll probably blow up too. Honestly, he kind of scares me a little." 

Church clears his throat.  "And last is the orange one, that's Grif. He's really lazy and really annoying."

"Yeah." Simmons agrees.

"But at least he's smart. In fact, I think he might be the smartest one of the bunch."

"You mean smarter than all of the ones there now." 

"No, I mean all of them put together man. There's this other guy who hangs around in maroon armor? I haven't seen him in a while, but he's a freaking know-it-all, man! He acts like he's smart but, he's really not." Church says.

"What?"

"Yeah, he walks around like he owns the place. And... you know, but nobody listens to him, and they always make fun of him behind his back."

"What do they say?"

"Oh, just how he's not good at stuff and how he's dumb... and how the stuff he likes is dumb...and also that... you know, he's not as attractive as other people are."

Simmons sniffs. "Yeah.. he sounds like a real jerk." He walks off.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I have t use the bathroom!"

"Well, ,,,hurry up, man! I wanna finish your orientation before you have to make me dinner."

"You do know that's Simmons, right?" Shelia asks.

"Oh, yeah." Church agrees.

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07-02-2022