Recreation: Local Host
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Caboose and Donut end their transmission with Washington.

 

Caboose: Hello? Hello? Agent Washington! Are you there? Hello? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Donut: Umm, I think he hung up.

Caboose: No, I don't think so... I don't think he'd do anything like that—hello! Hello.

Donut: Okay. Well, I think I'll just head back to my base. If you can think of anything to help me with that desert situation, just give me a ring.

Caboose: Okay.

Donut: You need any help with your Frankenstein-friend project?

Caboose: Oh, no, but uh, if you see any mechanical parts laying around that... look friendly, would you save them for us?

Donut: Well, sure! I can ask Sarge if he used his underground secret workshop. I heard the guys talking about it, it sounded cool.

Caboose: Oh right, they mentioned that earlier when they came by to pick you up.

Donut: He doesn't usually like letting the enemy use our equipment, but maybe I'll catch him in a good mood.

Caboose: Oh, you could try killing the orange one first! That would probably put him in a great mood!

Donut: Yeah... that's a good idea and all, but we have all these rules against killing people from our own team.

Caboose: Lame.

Donut: Tell me about it.

Caboose: No I don't think we have rules like that on Blue Team.

Donut: Man. Our team sucks. (leaves via the man cannon)

Caboose: Ohhh. So that's how that works. (heads downstairs) Secret underground workshop, huh? Well, I have to try something. I don't seem to be very good about doing this on my own. (A random ignition occurs to his right.) All right, now how did that even start!?

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Cuts to Red Team, discussing their plans right outside the Red Base.

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Sarge is explaining the plan. "Men, with Donut captured, I think we should abandon our previous plan of not attacking the Blues and institute a new plan- attacking the Blues."

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"Good." Simmons says.

Sarge continues discussing the plan. "Winning a war is one thing - having a man captured is quite another. I can't stand by knowing we've left a man behind." He turns to Grif. "So I need a volunteer to run a suicide rescue mission. This won't be easy - and you're almost certain to die."

"Why are you looking at me when you say that?" Grif asks.

"Thanks for volunteering, Grif."

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Sarge continues. "Now the plan is to run straight at Blue base, grab Donut and carry him over your shoulder, even if he's not hurt. That way, when the Blues track you down to kill you, Donut will still have fresh legs to run home and avoid recapture. "

"Um, sir?" Simmons speaks up.

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"Quiet, Simmons." Sarge orders. "You've been too unreliable lately for a suicide mission, and Ash might just end up blowing himself and Donut up! So I think I need to go with the pro."

"He's probably right." Ash says with a sigh.

"Gee thanks, sir." Grif says.

"Just get him back here!" Sarge orders. "I can't stand Donut being captured another minute."

"Aww, that's sweet, Sarge, thank you." Donut says.

"What the--?" Sarge is confused.

"Mission accomplished, sir." Grif informs.

"Excellent work, Private Grif." Sarge says.

"Thanks, sir. Request permission to go AWOL for a few months?"

"Permission denied."

"Meh. Had to try."

Sarge looks at Donut. "Donut, you're back. Are you ok? You look fine to me."

"I do?" Donut asks. "Well, I did switch to a new armor polish recently. Thanks for noticing, Sarge."

"No, I mean they didn't hurt you."

"Hurt me? Oh no, not at all.

And it's not a “them” over there, it's only a “him.” They only have one guy now.

Sarge: Just one soldier, eh? That seems like it could be a tactical advantage.

Simmons: We already knew that!

Sarge: And now it's confirmed.

Grif: Permission to switch Simmons to the Blue Team, sir?

Sarge: Permission denied.

Grif: Eh. Had to try.

Ash speaks up. "Permission to hit Grif, Sir?"

"Permission granted." Sarge says.

"Hey, wait-!" Grif starts but Ash hits him with his gun. "OW!"

Simmons: Fuck it. I'm gonna go help Lopez with the jeep. (runs off)

Sarge: Okay, Donut. I want as much information as possible. Let's get you debriefed.

Donut: That sounds like fun. Boy, things have really changed around here.

Sarge: That's not what I meant!

Cuts to Caboose, watching from afar.

Caboose: Okay, Epsilon. Let's get in there. [whispers] And try to stay quiet. It's sneaking time.

Caboose runs off towards Red Base. The scene cuts to Simmons standing beside Lopez, who is fixing the jeep. Caboose is hiding behind one of the barricades beside them and spontaneously pops up from behind other barricades and boxes as he gets closer to the two Reds.

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Simmons: No, no. That one goes there, this one goes here.

Lopez: Este argumento es redundante. Se lo que corresponde a donde. [This argument is redundant. I know what corresponds to where.]

Simmons: Here, just let me do it, give me your wrench.

Lopez: Este es un martillo, maldito idiota. [This is a hammer you fucking idiot.]

Caboose: (crouched, sneaking past the jeep[whispers to self] I am sneaking, I am sneaking.

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Scene cuts to Sarge. The metal box behind him begins to slide on its own towards the Red Base as the Reds are talking.

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Sarge: Did you tell him anything?

Donut: Not really. It seems like they had most of the information anyway.

Sarge: What?

Donut: Yeah! I was actually surprised by how much information he had gathered about our weapons and facilities.

Sarge: We’ve got a leak! Grif, found out who's been gabbin’!

Caboose continues to sneak towards the Red Base, chanting in a whisper, “Sneaking, sneaking, sneaking” to himself as Grif silently watches him pass. So does Ash.

Sarge: Grif, can you find the leak or not!?

Caboose (the box) crashes into something and stops moving.

Caboose: [whispers] Oh! What was that?!

Grif: I'll get right on that, sir. I'm sure the leak is someone very close to us. Specifically, someone very nearby me.

Scene cuts to the simulation room inside the Red Base, with Caboose.

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Caboose: There's nothing here? This room is boring! [making echoes] Boring, boring... boring... boring... boring... boring... (turns to Epsilon, who is making noise) Epsilon, shush! (Epsilon gets louder) Epsilon, seriously! Stop it. They're going to hear you!

Screen fades to black. A warping noise is heard, indicating that a hologram is activating.

Caboose: ...it's you...!

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07-14-2022

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