Ash is next to Grif.

Sarge hums.

"Hey, Sarge." Grif gets his attention. "What's wrong?"

"I don't like this, Grif." Sarge says.

"What, the vision?" Grif asks.

"It's a waterfall!" Tucker yells in the background. "It's literally impossible to forget! Like girlfriend dick!"

"You fucked an alien and had an alien kid!" Ash yells at Tucker.

"Hey! Don't talk about Junior like that!" Tucker yells back.

"Yeah." Sarge answers Grif. "I've never been what you call a 'New Age' kind of guy."

"You don't say." Grif says.

"But this bowling ball seems to be a heck of a role. Pun intended. What with the flying and the laser shooting and all."

"And he can use telekinesis." Ash states.

"That too." Sarge says. "What if there's something to this whole vision thing? We need to call Simmons. Find out if he's seen anything out of the ordinary."

"How?" Grif asks. "Our long rand radio here got destroyed and we don't have enough signal power in the jeeps to reach him."

"I think I have an idea how to fix that."

Cut to Simmons and Doc being held prisoner at Valhalla by Wash and the Meta

Doc: Hh, mm. Ow my head. Oh.

Simmons: Doc, you're alive. Good.

Doc: Yeah, no thanks to you. Why'd you hit me?

Simmons: I didn't hit you, they did.

Doc: Jerks. Who're they?

Simmons: The dark one's Washington. He's a Freelancer.

Doc: Great. 'Cause those guys are always such a blast to hang around with.

Simmons: The big one, we call the Meta.

Doc: But rumor had it those guys were disbanded. Everyone went to jail.

Simmons: Yeah, well I guess they got paroled.

Washington: You two, quiet.

The Meta growls incomprehensibly

Washington: Then you need to stop trying to use all of them. You just don't have the resources anymore.

Simmons: Meta killed a bunch of other Freelancers. Took their equipment.

Doc: Like the invisibility?

Simmons: Yeah, and the shield and the thing that slows down time. He also stole their A.I. fragments, but those all got wiped out. Now something seems, I don't know, wrong with him.

Doc: An A.I. fragment? That I remember. Hey Simmons, remember that A.I. I had for a while? That thing was crazy.

The Meta growls and approaches Doc

Doc: Yipes!

Washington: Halt. Meta, stop!

Doc: Wyaa! Simmons, help me!

Washington: You, what did you just say?

Doc: Tht- tht- tht- tht tht, that I had one of your A.I. units?

The Meta grunts

Washington: Stand down. You said had. Where is it now?

Doc: Gone.

Washington: Which one?

Doc: Uh, uh ub, the mean one.

Washington: Its name. Did you know its name?

Doc: Uh, O'Malley. I mean uh, Omega.

Washington: Well that one's been accounted for.

Doc: I-I only had it for a short time.

Washington: Well then good. You know what to look for. I need a complete scan of my friend here. And I would recommend you don't use any needles. He hates needles, and we wouldn't wanna make him angry, now would we?

Sarge, Ash, and Grif are at the jeep, and Epsilon is at the top of the radio antenna.

"Alright, let's try this!" Sarge says. "You ready, antenna ball?"

"I told you not to call me that!" Epsilon yells. "And hurry it up! This metal rod isn't exactly in a comfortable place."

"Hey, do you want to find out about your vision or don't you?" Grif asks.

Radio sounds

Sarge: Come in Valhalla Outpost Number One. Come in! Red Base, do you read me? Come in! *He looks to Grif* Give me some more power, shotput.

Simmons' voice is heard on the radio

Simmons: (over radio) Uh, Sarge? Yeah, hi.

Sarge: Who is this, identify yourself.

Simmons: (over radio) It's me, Simmons. Sorry Sir.

Sarge: How is everything going there, Simmons?

Simmons: (over radio) Here? Uh, fine I guess. Everything's good. How 'bout you guys?

Sarge: Mission is complete. We're preparing to head out soon.

Simmons: (over radio) What was that? Sorry, some static here. This radio's a little messed up. Been a bit rainier here.

Sarge: I said, we're comin' back soon.

Simmons: (over radio) Oh, that's great. Hey, when do you think that'll be, exactly.

Sarge: Hard to say, Simmons. We'll let you know.

Cut to Simmons at the radio with a gun to his head

Simmons: Okay Sarge, sounds good.

Sarge: (over radio) Over and out.

Washington: Okay good. Now get back over there.

Simmons retreats back to Doc

Doc: That was your Sergeant?

Simmons: Yeah.

Doc: You think he'll come help us?

Simmons: No, I couldn't say anything to him. If they come, they'll be walking straight into a trap.

Back to the desert

"Thanks for the help." Grif says.

"Yeah, whatever." Epsilon isn't happy. "I'm not gonna fly straight for a week now."

"Well, stop complaining." Ash says.

"You try having a metal rod up your ass!" Epsilon flies off.

"Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control." Grif says.

"Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner." Sarge informs Grif and Ash.

"What?" Ash and Grif say.

"Everything sounded fine to me." Grif finishes. 

"Think about it." Sarge starts. "How do you answer the radio at our base?"

"Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif/Ash, how may I assist you today?" Grif and Ash say.

"And we've drilled that since day one!" Sarge yells. "Simmons answered 'Hi!'. That was my first clue.

"So maybe he's just-" Grif starts.

Sarge interrupts. "He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance?"

"Never." Ash says.

"And look at the time."

"Can't Clock's broken." Grif says.

"It's 17:30! (5:30)" Sarge starts. "And everybody knows that 17:30 is?"

"Donut's daily wine and cheese hour!" Grif says.

"I didn't hear any tinkling glasses. Did you?"

"You're right." Ash says.

"He also mentioned that the weather was rainier. And as we all know, Mount Rainier is the biggest land mass in the state of... Washington."

"We do?" Grif asks. "Uh, I mean we do!"

"How many Washingtons do we know?"

Grif looks to Ash. "Did he mean Agent Washington?"

"And who's the biggest mass we know, associated with Washington?" Sarge asks.

"The Meta!" Ash exclaims. 

"So, the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez... and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner."

"It makes so much sense!" Ash exclaims.

"We have to help-" Grif starts. "Wait, Doc? H... how do you know he's there?"

"Please, Grif, it's so obvious." Sarge says. "I don't want to insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail."

"Oh, uh, OK."

"Come on. We're going to Valhalla! It's time for a rescue mission!"

"Rescue mission? How are the hell are we supposed to fight Wash and the Meta?"

"I can try." Ash says as he gets in the gunner seat.

Grif gets in the Driver and Sarge gets in the passenger.

Sarge: Don't worry I have a plan. How good are the seatbelts in this new jeep?

Grif: Good, I guess.

Epsilon: Valhalla, huh?

Epsilon starts following the jeep at a distance

Grif: Wait, why?

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07-16-2022