Fade in to Simmons and Grif meddling with F.I.L.S.S.

F.I.L.S.S.: That is not an approved operation-hey! Watch it buddy!

Simmons: Can you show me the data logs?

F.I.L.S.S.: Affirmative.

Sarge and Ash walk up to the group.

"Simmons! Any progress in restoring the Blues?" Sarge asks.

"It's a lot of data entry, sir." Simmons explains. "I was thinking I could hack the mainframe and reroute the data stream."

F.I.L.S.S speaks up. "Or we could just restore from an archived database."

"What?"

"This is an off-site fallback facility. It is designed to have archives in  case of data loss. Blue Team rosters would certainly be a part of that."

"Really?" Simmons asks.

"Yes." F.I.L.S.S states. "In fact, I am glad you pointed out the database anomaly. I had noticed it before but did not have time to investigate. Strange."

"Oh. Okay, yeah, restore that then."

"Done."

Simmons: Great.

F.I.L.S.S.: You seem disappointed. Did I do it too quickly, and make you look bad?

Simmons: No...

F.I.L.S.S.: I could always, pretend that you hacked me, if it would make you look better to your friends.

Simmons: Stop patronizing me.

F.I.L.S.S.: Affirmative. Patronizing subroutines are now offline.

Simmons: You're still patronizing me aren't you.

F.I.L.S.S.: Kind of.

Grif: Hmm.

Sarge: What is it, Grif?

"This is weird. I-If I'm reading this right, there's a bunch of other Red and Blue bases." Grif informs.

"Of course there are, Grif!" Sarge says. "The war is huge! The fate of the galaxy rests in the balance!"

"Or... Not."

"What does that mean?"

Grif: Or, not.

Sarge: What's that mean?

Grif: Here, check this out, I'm looking at the list of missions for all the different bases, and some of them look... familiar.

Simmons: Let me see. Huh, apparently they set up bases in various locations and then send a Freelancer in for... training purposes.

Sarge: Training?

Grif: Practice.

Sarge: Practice?

Simmons: Yeah, the Reds and Blues are just there to test the skills of the Freelancers.

"What?!" Ash yells.

Sarge: You mean the Blues.

Simmons: No I mean both of them, ah- both of us. It says here that "simulation bases will present scenarios that may occur for Freelancer agents in a galactic battle field."

Sarge: Simuwatshin?

Grif: He means we're like lab rats.

Sarge: What- what- that's nonsense! We've been through so much! We had that, whole battle with the Blues for the, somethinerother and, then we set off that bomb thingy, and we got blasted through time, and we met an alien and that guy got pregnant.

"Yeah, that seems pretty unique!"  Ash says.

Simmons: According to this that is, Scenario 3.

Sarge: Three!?

Grif: Why us though?

Simmons: Let me see, let me see, thuh... "bases are outfitted with matching weapons and vehicles to ensure long conflict and are staffed by... low level operatives?"

Grif: Hey, who's that report calling low level? Stupid report. Punch it.

Simmons: "The candidates for Red and Blue squads will be culled from enlisted army ranks based on low test scores and poor field skills so as to not be missed on our-"

Grif: That actually does sound like me. What about you, I thought you were smart? Did you have low test scores too?

Simmons: Hey those time limits aren't fair, it should be important that I know the information, not how fast I know it.

"And I only blew up half the training camp." Ash says. "Only half."

Simmons: And don't even get me started on the number 2 pencils.

Grif: Well Sarge, I always said Command was full of- Sarge?

Sarge is walking away.

"Has my whole military career been a lie?" Ash ask.

Cut to Caboose in the big room

Caboose: Ah that's good. Eh, maybe a little to the left.

Simmons, Ash, and Grif walk over to Caboose.

"What is all this?" Grif asks the Blue.

"Oh, this is new Red base." Caboose answers. "Welcome."

"When did you build this?" Simmons asks.

"Oh, I didn't build this. Your sergeant did!"

"What?" Ash asks.

"He built this?" Grif asks. "When?"

"Oh, just now." Caboose says.

"He walked out of the room like ten seconds ago!"

"Oh, he got sad about something, so he's making a Red base here. And I'm helping. I am great at building forts. See? I already built a Blues base!"

"Ours has blankets." Caboose states.

"Go away!" Sarge yells.

"Sarge? What is all this?" Simmons asks.

"Simmons! Didn't you hear?" Sarge asks. "We're cannon fodder! Practice! Well, if I'm the leader of junk I may as well have a base made out of junk! Pretty appropriate, right?"

"Looks like shit!" Grif says.

"That was rhetorical, dirtbag!"

"It doesn't even have turrets!" Ash yells.

"Shut it, Crazy!"

"Well, sir, I think this is an excellent strategy. The Blues'll ne--" Simmons starts.

Sarge interrupts. "Blues?! Simmons, don't you get it yet? Grif was right all along!" 

"Thank you, sir." Grif says.

"Don't call me that anymore." 

Simmons speaks up. "Sarge, this place is one lie after another. We don't know -"

Sarge interrupts. "Oh, we know. I know! You want to fool yourself, go ahead."

"You're just upset sir."

"Don't call me that!"

"What? Call you what?" Simmons asks.

"Sir! From now on, you call me by my name." Sarge states. "Sarge! Or S-Dog. I'm not in charge anymore! I quit."

Sarge walks off.

"You what?" Simmons asks.

"What?!" Ash yells.

"Uh-oh. I get the feeling somebody else's word just got rocked." Grif says.

Caboose speaks up. "I'll start working on another fort."

Cut to the ice planet with Church and Tex

Church: Tex, stop. Where are we going?

Tex: There's only one person left who knows what happened to me. The Director.

Church: The Director, nobody even knows who he is.

Tex: I can think of two people who might know: Wash and the Meta.

Church: Wash and Meta, are you kidding me? Tex, forget all this. What if they don't even know?

Tex: Then I get to kill Wash and Meta. If I can't find the Director, I'll just dismantle everything he ever built.

Church: Tex I think the Director built all this for you.

Tex: Ugh, even more reason to burn it all to the ground.

Church: Facing Wash and Meta, is suicide, even if we knew where they were. We don't. How the hell are you gonna find them?

Tex: They'll find us.

Church: Oh so what, we just hole up? And wait for them to come without ever even knowing when that's gonna be?

Tex: No, they'll come now.

Church: How? Are you just gonna call them on the phone?

Tex: Somethin' like that.

Tex shoots Church

Church: Tex?

Tex: I needed you to come. Sheila said the recovery beacon wouldn't activate, until we left the storage facility.

Church: Tex?

Tex: I didn't ask to be paired with you. I didn't wanna come back. But I'm here now, so I'm gonna put an end to this.

Church: Tex, I would have helped you.

Tex: You can't even help yourself. That's why you made me, Church. You made me to take on all the things you can't handle. Just like you always have. Well guess what, I'm gonna handle it. Wash and Meta will be coming now. I have some things to get ready.

Church: Tex... why are you doing this?

Tex: Funny you should ask. That's exactly what I plan to find out.

Cut to Wash in the desert

Washington: What is that? Where is that coming from? It can't be.

Meta: *growl*

Washington: I'm getting it too. I should have known he might end up there.

Doc: What is it?

Washington: It's a recovery beacon. It's him; it's Epsilon. Doc, go get a vehicle. Meta, you grab the memory unit.

Meta: *growl*

Doc: But where are we going?

Washington: We're going to the only place that's left.

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07-16-2022