Self Assessment
43 1 4
X
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Width
Reset
X
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.

In the New Republic Headquarters. Cut to the interior of a bunker where Tucker, Grif, Ash, Simmons, and Caboose are seen standing.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f734c4162365a36484259706751773d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343266623338376430613737643238303232373135393238302e706e67

"What do you mean 'leaving?' Where are we going?" Simmons asks.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f624269427a35446c4c766f7670513d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343266626338656531303634333530373334343238363539322e706e67

"AH!" Caboose yells. "IS IT TO THE PARK? OOH, I KNOW! IT'S THE BEACH- Wait a minute, you're not taking me to the vet are you?"

"No, we're going to break into that compound and bust out our friends." Tucker states

"But, we still have some time left to train the squad." Simmons says. "Why would we leave now?"

"Because the squad's not coming with us."

"I guess that makes sense." Ash says.

"Are they going in a separate car?" Caboose asks.

"No." Tucker says.

"Ah, so they're flying. Y'know I have an extra bag to check is that going to be a problem 'cause-"

"No, Caboose we're going on this mission alone."

"Alone with the squad. Got it."

"Why would we do that?" Grif asks.

"I don't know if you guys have noticed, but our super-elite team sucks." Tucker explains. "There's no way they'll be able to pull of a rescue mission."

"We don't know that. Kimball could still pass us." Simmons says.

"Have you seen us?" Ash asks Simmons.

"I'm not talking about passing." Tucker starts. "I'm talking about our trainees blowing up, or getting shot, or disintegrated or something."

"Oh. Yeah, that's a problem." Simmons says.

"Look, Felix was right. We're just going to end up getting more people killed."

"So you're saying we should just get ourselves killed instead." Grif says.

"Hey, we've done crazier things than this." Tucker says. "Remember that time we fought, like, a bajillon-hundred robots? We didn't fuck that up!"

"We had Church." Simmons says.

"OK, well what about C.T? Or the Meta?" Tucker asks.

"We got really lucky." Ash says.

"Bullshit." Tucker starts. "Now maybe we can't teach a bunch of people how to fight, but the five of us can totally pull this off! We're not going to get another chance like this. We just gotta go in, and get our guys back. After that, Wash will know what to do."

"But even Felix couldn't break into this place." Simmons states.

"We're not Felix. Felix is smart. The Feds won't be expecting dumb."

"Hey!" Caboose yells. "Who are you calling dumb?!"

"Hmm, Tucker's got a point." Ash says.

"Shut up." Simmons says to Caboose.

"No Simmons, I was just asking for some clarification." Caboose says. "I'm a little lost..."

"Look, we keep trying to strategize, and use codenames, and act like we're real soldiers. But we're not!" Tucker says.

"Actually, I-" Ash starts.

"No, you're not." Tucker says. "That was Agent Minnesota, Ash, not you. You may have some of the skills but you're not a real soldier."

"I-I... you're right."

"So why are we trying to be soldiers now?" Tucker asks the group. "I say we get in there, and do what we do best."

"Uhh, which is?" Grif asks.

"I have no idea!" Tucker states. "But, whatever it is, it's worked for us before."

"That's your plan?!" Simmons questions. "We just show up and wing it?! That's the worst plan I've ever-"

Grif interrupts. "Alright, let's do it."

Simmons turns to Grif. "What, Grif?! YOU wanna do this? I expected this from Ash, but not you."

"Yeah, so what?"

"So what?! You NEVER wanna do anything! Ever!"

"Simmons, I've been following orders I never liked for years." Grif states. 

"No you haven't!" Simmons corrects. "You disobey orders all the time!"

"Well, I don't wanna be the guy that GIVES shitty orders that nobody wants to follow! I will not become a Sarge, dammit! There's no way I'm making a bunch of stupid rebels get shot for something I want! So yeah, whatever! Let's just do it!"

Simmons sniffs. "That's the most selfless thing you've ever said!"

"But I wanna steal more food before we go." Grif says. 

And there we go." Ash says. "Well, I'm all for this mission." 

"Yay, mission!" Caboose says.

Tucker turns to Simmons. "Simmons?"

Simmons sighs. "How are we getting there?"

"Haha, yes! Okay. I snuck into Kimball's office and grabbed all the data I took from the Fed's lab! We've got a map that'll lead us straight to them! All we need is a ride!"

"Vehicle bay's got plenty of Warthogs, I guess." Grif says.

"And I can drive a tank!" Caboose states.

"No!" Everyone says.

"Well, you're all just jealous."

"Wait, what about the rebels?" Simmons asks. "I mean, I don't think they'll be happy with us just leaving like this."

Tucker then turns to a computer screen to his right, and the others follow his gaze. Cut to Matthews in the vehicle bay. Bitters walks into view.

Bitters: Hey, Matthews. Have you seen the Reds and Blues around? Can't find them.

Matthews: No, but that might explain why two of our jeeps are missing.

Cut to the bunker interior. A recording starts playing with Kimball and the squad listening.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4232487341666a2d68744e3443513d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343333643831373163386430323931333938333636353037312e706e67

"Hello, everyone." Recording Simmons greets. "If you're listening to this, it means we're already gone."

"Look, it's not you. It's us." Tucker says.

"We're not breaking up with them, Tucker." Ash says.

"Tell them not to leave the lights on!" Caboose yells.

"Caboose!" Grif yells. "Not now!"

"I miss you already! I promise we'll call!"

The recording ends.

"Damn it Tucker." Kimball says.

"They just.... left us?" Palomo asks.

"I didn't get to say goodbye." Axel says.

Felix walks in.

Felix: Who left us? (notices the paused recording) Oh no.

Cut to a desert refueling station. The Reds and Blues arrive in the borrowed Warthogs and dismount to investigate the station.

"Okay, the ability to fly... North." Simmons says.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f595445796d6b50643634483933513d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343334303864376130663265363731303038373436363934302e706e67

"Ehh, I dunno." Grif says.

"I don't like it." Ash adds.

"What do you mean?" Simmons asks. "That's a great terrible superpower!"

"Yeah, but you can still fly." Grif says.

"I guess flying is kinda cool." Ash says.

"You can only fly North!" Simmons starts. "It's so inconvenient! Once you land. you gotta walk wherever you were going!"

"Mm, I guess so." Grif says.

"But you do always know where North is." Ash says.

"Okay, what about the ability to teleport... one foot at a time." Simmons says.

"It's helpful in a fight, but inconvenient in everyday life." Ash says.

"Mmm... meh." Grif says.

"You're 'meh'. This road trip sucks." Simmons says.

"You suck." Ash says.

"Shut it, Ash!" 

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4c3570714e6664303264757857673d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343334393235333162323861333232373239343534323336372e706e67

"Hello?" Tucker yells. "Anybody home? We've got some cars that need fuel!"

"Yeah, yes, we would also like to purchase some lottery tickets!" Caboose says. "Yeah, I know the odds, but I just- I still think it's just fun."

"This place looks deserted." Simmons says.

"Woo-hoo!" Grif is excited. "I've always wanted my own Slurpee machine!"

Xi appears on Ash's shoulder and she studies the surrounding area.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f32616c74723144374b2d532d76673d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343334616432653464353663383636343538303630383233382e706e67

"Oh, dude, let me know if they've got any magazines." Tucker says. 

"Me too!" Caboose says. "One with pictures!"

"Specifically ones with pictures. You know what I'm sayin'."

An odd-sounding explosion goes off inside the nearby cave system.

"What was that?" Simmons asks.

"I've got something on the motion trackers." Xi tells the group.

"Maybe it's the owners." Tucker says.

"Aw, man!" Grif complains. "Can't we just pretend they're not here and loot anyway?"

"Hey Caboose, go tell them they've got customers." Tucker says and he turns to the Reds. "You guys start filling up the cars."

"Do it yourself." Grif says as he walks to the building. "I'm gonna take a leak."

Grif walks inside.

"Oh, alright, but be sure to get my lottery tickets." Caboose says. "My numbers are 5... 7... Now don't forget them."

Caboose walks off towards where the noise was heard.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f41625141564e6830455a464455513d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343334663537383865393564663839373533343838353537362e706e67

"I know I said a bunch of inspirational crap back at the base, but, it's times like these when I really wonder how we haven't been killed yet, y'know?" Tucker says.

Xi and Ash look at each other.

"The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you're asleep." Simmons says.

"Sounds more destructive then I want it to be." Ash says.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f67474a6c4c704a707331515236513d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343335313162313932353764363638313538363130363732362e706e67

Grif: Hello? Just here to use the bathroom! Also, somebody emptied out your Slurpee machine! Might want to get that filled! Man, what kind of gas station doesn't have hot dogs?

Grif opens a door, revealing a corpse.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f36364233495a4e4e6253484277773d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343335316363303337343939643135383531323834333932302e706e67

Grif: Puh-hoh! Wheah! Jesus, it smells like somebody died in- (notices the hand; becomes terrified) -here.

Cut to Caboose walking through the cave system.

Caboose: (humming)

An indistinct voice is heard.

Control: (voice only) Targets will be arriving in the morning. Do not disappoint me.

Jackson: (off screen) Understood, Control.

Caboose: Eh. I think I hear the sound of some new friends. (reappears from behind a rock pillar) Hellooooooo- (Tucker quickly covers his mouth with his hand) Oh! (whispered) Tucker. Perfect! You can help me and my friends come up with a secret high five!

Cut to the Reds and Blues approaching a pile of crates upon a ledge overlooking a group of steel-armored Federal troopers.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6873494574734b737572367158773d3d2d313235303133333931352e313730343335323632353138373239353730313930323630303734332e706e67

Trooper 1: So what's the word?

Jackson: Control says to give it thirty more minutes.

Female Trooper: Ugh, this is a waste of time.

Trooper 1: Agreed.

"Who are these guys?" Grif whispers.

"Well, they're definitely not the gas station attendants." Tucker whispers.

"Wow, Tucker. I can really see why YOU'RE the leader."

"Up yours."

"I've got nothing about them in any files I have." Xi says.

"Quiet!" Simmons whispers. "I can't hear what they're saying!"

Jackson: You know what they say: Orders are orders.

Locus: (over radio) Jackson.

Jackson: Yes, Locus.

Locus: (over radio) Change of plans. Report back to base immediately. The Reds and Blues will be requiring... an escort.

Jackson: Understood. (to the squad) You heard him, grab the gear and prep for evac.

The troopers walk away into a nearby tunnel.

Caboose: Where are they going?

Tucker moves after them.

Simmons: Tucker, wait!

Another odd explosion goes off, and Tucker sees an empty tunnel.

Tucker: They just... vanished.

Simmons: Vanished?

"Future cubes?" Ash asks.

Grif: They said something about Reds and Blues.

Caboose: Oh my God! I know those colors! They're us!

Tucker: They were Feds. I heard one of them mention Locus.

Simmons: Well they didn't look like the typical Stormtrooper guys. You think they were Special Ops?

Tucker: I think we should get to the base as fast as possible. Come on, let's go.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Xi says.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

07-22-2022

4