Counseling
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Fade in to Armonia overlooking a nearby garage. Cut to Doc.

Doc: So, you think you can just send me to another dimension, forget my very existence, and then expect me to help you when you're in trouble?

Cut to the Reds and Blues.

Sarge: Yes.

(a small moment of silence passes)

Doc: ...Finally! All I ever wanted was to be included... (in O'Malley's voice) Mwhaha! This is why no one respects you. (normal voice) Come on O'Malley! Don't be such a negative nancy. (O'Malley's voice) If you had a dog, it'd chew through its leash and run into traffic.

Simmons: Hey, I had a dog that did that.

Grif: Surprising no one.

Washington rushes towards the group.

Washington: There you are! What hell have you all been doing?!

Tucker: Oh, just a little thing we like to call saving the planet!

Washington: We've got Kimballs' men threatening to leave the Capital, while Doyle's forces are setting up a perimeter to keep them in! If we don't act soon, we're gonna have another civil war on our hands!

Sarge: Don't you worry your pretty little yellow striped head, Wash! We've got everything under control.

Washington: How!?

Doc: An honest and down-to-earth counseling session!

Washington: ... ...What?

Cut to the Reds and Blues standing in the War Room with Kimball and Doyle. Doc is facing them.

Doc: A counseling session. Just you two and your closest friends, here to talk and support you.

Kimball: This is a waste of time.

Doyle: I concur.

Doc: See, you're already agreeing on things! The system works!

Washington: (to Kimball and Doyle, quietly) I am so sorry.

Doc: Okay! Let's start things off with a little roleplay, shall we?

Donut: Yeah! Dibs on police officer!

Simmons: ...What?

Doc: C'mon, don't be shy! Look, it's easy! (turns to Grif) Grif, why don't you pretend to be me, and I'll pretend to be you!

Grif: Uhhh... Hey, everybody, look at me, I'm Doc...

Doc: (in O'Malley's voice) And I'm Dexter Grif! Reporting for duty. Oh, wait, never mind! I forgot that I'm a worthless sack of human excrement, that wouldn't be caught dead following orders, because I'm too busy wishing my parents loved me as much as my sister, hahaha! Maybe if I had a stable father figure growing up I wouldn't be so opposed to order, but I guess that's just what happens when your mother turns tricks behind the elephant cages at the circus, hahahaha! Here Dex, have some more cotton candy! Hahahahaha!

Moment of silence as everyone looks at Grif simultaneously.

Grif: (lowers head sadly) It was a nice circus...

Doc: (in normal voice) Ohhhh, gosh... sorry about that... maybe we should try something else.

Sarge: (watching Grif mourn) I dunno, I think we're makin' progress.

Cut to space, where the Tartarus is seen orbiting around Chorus. Several asteroids are scattered around the ship.

Counselor: (off screen) ...The Meta...?

Locus: (off screen) Yes. (Cut to the interior of the Tartarus where the Counselor is seen talking to Locus through a screen) Any additional information we can gather on our enemy is vital to success.

Counselor: Would it not be more beneficial to discuss Agents Carolina, Minnesota, and Washington?

Locus: No. I have a full understanding on Washington. His background no longer interests me. The same can be said for Carolina and Minnesota.

Counselor: Very well. What would you like to know?

Locus: The Meta had the potential for perfection. How was it possible that he was defeated by a group of incompetent simulation troopers?

Counselor: Agent Maine survived numerous injuries during his time with the Freelancers. Most would have been lethal had they been inflicted upon any other man. However, in the end, six puncture wounds in his suit resulted in asphyxiation by liquid. He drowned.

Locus: I'm aware of how he died, I want to know why he was unable to prevent it.

Counselor: As did the rest of us. It seemed impossible at the time but as you've already seen, the simulation troopers are extraordinarily resilient.

Locus: He had every possible advantage.

Counselor: But they had each other. They had what our agents never fully achieved: complete and total faith in one another. I think it's important to note that had the Reds and Blues combated Agent Maine prior to the destruction of his A.I., it's possible events may have played out differently.

Locus: Why is that?

Counselor: You must remember that Agent Maine and the Meta are two distinctly different psyches. The Meta was the result of the Sigma A.I. manipulating Maine. His sole objective was perfection. (as he speaks, outside, two asteroids float towards each other slowly) When the A.I. fragments were destroyed by Agent Washington, the Meta was destroyed along with them, (the smaller asteroid smashes into the larger one as he says this, breaking it into pieces) leaving behind a damaged shell of a man. Unlike Sigma, his only remaining goal was to obtain power. His actions were more reckless. His behavior, more sporadic.

Locus: (cut back to the Counselor) And before Sigma? What was he like then?

Counselor: A brute. Strong. Unrelenting. Fearless. He had no qualms when asked to do the unpleasant. The morally questionable. Because, despite what many thought of him, he knew he was, at his core, a soldier, and his actions inevitably served the greater good.

Locus: The greater good is irrelevant. His actions should have been his orders. Nothing more.

Counselor: No. That would make him a slave.

Locus: (looks away momentarily) Would you say Maine performed at his best when controlled by Sigma? When the Meta strove to be the perfect weapon.

Counselor: You're mistaken in assuming Sigma's definition of 'perfection'. The Meta never wanted to be a weapon. The Meta wanted to be human. (a moment of silence between the two) Is there anything else you wish to discuss?

Locus: ...No.

Counselor: Have you noticed a change in your behavior since entering the gateway? I understand the portal attacked the minds of its inhabitants; confronting them with their greatest fears. That could have lasting effects on an individual.

Locus: (defensiveI'm fine.

Counselor: I'm inclined to disagree.

Locus: You're overstepping your boundaries, Counselor.

Counselor: I'm merely doing my job.

Locus: Your job is to --

Counselor: (interrupts him) Would you like to know what Felix is afraid of?

Locus: ...I --

Cut to Felix standing behind Locus.

Felix: Locus! The teams are ready. We need you out front.

Locus: (turns away from the Counselor hesitantly, then walks off) Of course.

Felix: (stares at the screen the Counselor is on) I'll be right there. (approaches the Counselor) Gotta say, love what you did with Sharkface. You got more guts than I gave you credit for.

Counselor: I've worked with dangerous patients before.

Felix: True. ...But if Sharkface ever found out you worked with Freelancer... ooh, I can't imagine things would play out nicely. (as he says this, the Counselor begins to fidget nervously) Keep up the good work, Price. (Felix turns off the screen and walks off)

Cut to Armonia, with the Reds and Blues still in the War Room. Tucker and Caboose are facing each other.

Caboose: Tucker, when you call me names like stupid, and really stupid, it makes me feel sad.

Doc: Perfect! Now you, Tucker.

Tucker: Caboose, when you volunteered us to demonstrate 'speaking our feelings', it made me, feel like hitting you, in the goddamn mouth.

Caboose: Yes. Well, now I feel sadder-- (clears throat, then looks at Doc anxiously) Um, are we doing this right?

Doc: Right as rain!

Caboose: Oh! Good! Well then NOW I FEEL HAPPY AGAIN! I LOVE COUNSELING!

Doc: Heh heh! Don't we all? (turns to Kimball and Doyle) Okay, now it's your turn!

Doyle: I'm sorry, but how much longer --

Doc: Aha! Kimball has the speaking ball right now!

Cut to Kimball with a large soccer ball behind her.

Kimball: Doc, this isn't going to work.

Doc: Well not with that attitude.

Kimball: Attitude isn't our problem, it's a complete and total breakdown in cooperation.

Doyle: Well, cooperation is a two-way street, Ms. Kimball.

Washington: (nervously) Oh boy...

Kimball: If you want to stay in this death trap of a city, that's fine. But don't think for a second that I'm letting you bring down the New Republic with you.

Doc: Okay, now if we can just all --

Doyle: Leaving is suicide! You need us just as much as we need you! If you run off now, you'll doom us all!

Doc: Okay, guys! Guys!

Kimball: I'd rather die trying something than waste another second standing around here!

Doc: K-Kimball...

Kimball: I have the speaking ball!

Epsilon: Uhhh... (cut to him and Carolina standing behind them) The speaking... ball?

Ash and Xi walk into the room. "I like speaking balls. The last one had quit a potty mouth."

Kimball: Yes. And you know what? I'm done talking. I'm ready for action. (Kimball begins to walk off)

Doc: W-wait! P-p-please! Look, can't you just say one nice thing about the other person!? Something...? Anything!? (Kimball stops and turns to Doyle)

Kimball: I always imagined you as a tyrant. A mad man bent on absolute control. Now I see I was wrong. You're just a stubborn, incompetent man, and I don't know what's worse.

Donut: Oohh, that's burn.

Doyle: Do you know what your problem is, Vanessa? You're far too eager to die for your beliefs. When you felt your government had betrayed you, you stood against it. When your leaders fell before you, you took their place, and now when we are at our most vulnerable, you want to fight. I can honestly say... that... I've never met a more courageous individual in all my life.

Tucker: What!?

Kimball: What?

Doc: What? I mean, alright, great job!

Doyle: I wish -- (sighs softly) I wish I had tenth of the courage that you possess. Maybe if I did, I'd have made a better General. But, I don't. And I'm afraid. Not just for myself, but for my people.

Kimball: They're my people too.

Doyle: Which is precisely why we should be working to save them.

Kimball: You think some cheap compliments are going to win me over?

Doyle: Why do you insist on fighting me!?

Washington: Look, guys, if we can just --

A large explosion cuts him off, as everyone glances up.

Grif: Uhh... what was that?

A second explosion sounds, as the radio turns on.

Smith: (over radio) General Kimball, we're under attack!

Kimball: What!?

Doyle: That's impossible. They'd never risk a bombing run!

Smith: (over radio) Well, that's the thing...

Cut to outside, where Smith, Jensen, Axel, Bitters, Palomo, and other Rebels and Feds are seen looking up.

Smith: Uh, they're actually not.

"This isn't fair." Axel says.

The Tartarus is shown looming above Armonia, with space pirates leaping off it and descending into the city using jetpacks. Several pirates land behind a Fed and Rebel and kill them immediately. Sharkface then lands behind them using his flamethrowers.

Sharkface: Let's go to work.

Sharkface closes up his flamethrowers. Gunfire is heard as the screen cuts to black.

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07-26-2022

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