As I laid on her bed, I looked out the window. Because Em's room was the farthest away from the staircase, there was an extra window in the room.
There was one solitary bird flying past, in the endless and cloudless sky. I watched it fly past.
I blin-
A dark room. One barred window. An endless blue sky. One prison for another. One solitary bird flying past. Freedom. I wish I was the bird, that I could still shift. But I'm weighed down by the fancy shackles they had placed on me.
I want to fly. To soar. To freedom. But I can't. They won't let me.
-ked. What was I thinking about just now? I shrugged. It was probably nothing.
"So, how long are you going to stay in my room?" Em asked awkwardly.
"As long as I can," I responded truthfully. I knew I had to be back in my room by 8:00 pm, because that was when the overseer checked the rooms. I just wanted to be with Em as long as I can. She's my first and only friend.
I rolled over, and continued staring at Em, where she was still sitting precariously on the edge of her bed.
"Can you stop that?" She asked. I shook my head. I felt an overpowering urge to stare at her. So I did.
She stood up, and walked to her desk. She sat down, and began reading something. I heard the door open, and I looked towards it. I caught the tail end of...what was her name again? Anyways, I caught the tail end of Em's roommate's shirt. I looked back at Em.
She sighed and looked up. "You know you can't just be like this forever, right?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You're being very rude and willful." She replied.
"I am?"
"Yes."
I thought back to my actions thus far. I intruded in their territory! If this had been my home, I would've been fighting for my life right now! Wait, home? I somehow felt that 'home' wasn't the Fingard forest. Then what was? It certainly isn't this school.
"Don't you have homework?" Em asked.
"I don't. I finished it all."
"I'm jealous," She sighed. I shrugged, and continued to stare at her. Hmm. I'm pretty sure the mating period for both my forms are coming soon. I'll need to stockpile prey soon.
"If you keep staring at me like that, I might think you actually like me," Em said playfully. She was still looking down at whatever she was reading, but I could see the tip of her ear going red.
"I do like you," I replied. If I didn't like her, why would I even bother with her? Em froze, and her face turned even more red. She didn't say anything else for a while.
"Why me?" She suddenly asked after a while.
"Because," I replied.
"Why?"
"Just because."
"You really frustrate me sometimes." She groaned. I shrugged again. I kept an eye on the clock. Once it was 7: 50, I stood up, shifted into my human form, and put on my clothes. I didn't put on my bra, because they were constricting and took a long time to put on. I opened the door, said goodbye to Em, and quickly walked back down to my room. Why do I care, though?
I entered my and Summer's room, and saw that she wasn't in the room. I sat down on my bed, and waited for inspection.
The overseer came, and went. Summer had entered the room just on time. Soon, it was lights out, and I laid down. Sleep came quickly.
The next morning, I woke up with a hazy mind. I was sure I had been dreaming, but of what, I couldn't tell, except for that feeling of urgency, like everything I cared about was going to be ruined and destroyed, somehow, and that it would all be my fault. I frowned.
I stood up, got dressed, and exited the room. Summer wasn't in our dorm. Just what was she doing? I don't really care, so long as it didn't implicate me.
I walked up the stairs back to Em's room, and knocked on the door. While I was waiting, I debated on the best way to enter their territory. Should I do a brown one's ritual? No, that would be challenging them. Then I should just do the simple human ritual of greeting them? Yes, that would be a good idea, I decided. While I waited, a detail suddenly popped out at me. The two of them, sharing a territory? That's something only mates would do...No, wait, this is the human world. I'm also sharing a room with Summer, and we aren't mated. But I still felt...angry? Longing? Maybe jealousy? I don't know. These new emotions were too much. Maybe I should go back?
Before I could, the door opened, and I saw Em. Her dark brown hair was messy, and her eyes were still hazy with sleep. Her clothing was messy and the top button of her sleepwear was opened, revealing the top of her breasts. I froze. The emotions from before surged back, and I was too overwhelmed. How do I deal with these emotions? What do I do?
Suddenly, the surroundings were too small. There wasn't enough air. I need more air. Air. My breathing sped up, and I quickly ran away from her. I spied an open window at the end of the corridor, which was right next to me. I jumped through it, and shifted into a flying one quickly. It didn't matter which flying one it was. I just needed to escape...
The air! I can feel it again! They finally let us shift! I can escape, I can- Pain. Painful burning. Charred feathers and meat. The laughter of the Man.
...I gasped for air. I was in the sky. Nothing can touch me. Calm down. I landed on a nearby branch, and steadied my breathing, my chest heaving up and down. I looked up and saw Em's worried face looking out the window, and I felt the same rush of emotion again. I shifted into a quick furred one, and slinked away into the small copse of trees by the fence. I jumped over the fence, and ran deeper into the forest.
Once I found a good spot to lay down on, I laid down on the spongy moss and began parsing through my thoughts.
I want to be near her. I want to keep her. She is mine, and mine only. Only I can have her. I need to be beside her. I need-she's mine. Minemineminemineminemine.
I want to court her, I decided. But how would that work? How do humans court each other? Why would I want to mate with another female? It's impossible to have cubs -babies- with a female. Why? Why her, and why a female? It was too confusing.
I've always thought that only male and female matings were possible. But then why would I want to mate with Em? Not all humans were like this, anyways. Summer and whats-his-name was a female and male pairing. Nature doesn't work that way. What about the next generation? Wouldn't humans just die out like this? Wait, no. Humans are thriving right now. There's no way what I'm feeling now hasn't been felt before. Then how does everything work?
I rolled over, and looked at the sky. At least this time, I didn't have these flashes of emotion anymore.
