Chapter 6: Tears in the Night
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Fair warning, this is going to be a rather heavy chapter.
Reader discretion is advised. Be sure you're in a comfortable space. <3
 
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Content Warning:

Spoiler

This chapter includes topics involving dysphoria, topics involving suicide, mental alteration, and identity suppression.

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“I’m glad you’re all safe,” Honey said, hugging Saya and Lillia.

“I’m so sorry we sent you all in there,” Iris whimpered hugging them from the side.

“You did well out there,” Nerivi patted Aria on the back, causing the knightess to blush from embarrassment. “We should all be careful for now. We have no idea if they’ll try to track them.”

“I… I do not think there is much reason to fear that,” Saya spoke up. “Penelope… she guided us to safety. I do not believe that she would betray us like that.”

“But Saya,” Lillia looked to her concernedly. “You noticed just as we did that she was acting oddly towards the end there.”

“I do not know the answer to that, but I just… I feel as though she was trying to protect us… from brother,” she whimpered. “And she said all those complaints about the church too.”

“Now that you mention it, she started acting weird when her friend… Reginald was it?” Aria thought aloud. “Well, when he came by, he said they were sending ‘them.’ Maybe that made her worried that there would be trouble.”

“Even so,” Honey shook her head. “I want you all to lay low for a while. Leave investigating to us, and try to stay out of sight. We do not want the guards to find you.”

“Right,” Aria nodded. “Is that okay by you Saya?”

“Okay,” Saya sighed.

“For now though,” Honey relaxed. “Let’s all take a step back and talk about what happened in there.”

“Sounds good,” Aria nodded. “Let’s see, we started with a kind of typical tour. She showed us the inside and brought us downstairs where all of the members of the church do their work.”

“Right,” Lillia nodded. “And she told us about the different branches, some general history like the ruins, among other things, but the big thing was the Restricted Sanctum.”

“Restricted Sanctum?” Nerivi questioned. “What’s that?”

“Penelope said it was a space for the higher members of the church, and where they conduct purification rituals,” Saya explained. “She also said that is where they keep mother.”

“Is that all?” asked Honey.

“Not quite,” Aira frowned. “There was some weird miasma that was flowing out of there. Penelope said it’s residue from the purification ritual, but I’m not so certain on that. It really got to Saya though,” she looked toward her princess.

“Actually, about that,” Saya looked to them concernedly. “I think there is something worse going on in there. The miasma, it was similar to the demonic energy Iris and I found the other day.”

“Wait, really?” Aria gawked. “You didn’t mention that.”

“I did not wish to say anything around Penelope. I may think she was genuine in helping us, but she still is a member of the church,” Saya sighed.

“I understand, sister,” Lillia rubbed her shoulder.

“So, this miasma you encountered is like the demonic energy you encountered before?” Honey’s ears bounced as she tilted her head.

“It was more than that,” Saya wrapped her arms around herself. “It was as if I could hear their screams of despair. I could hear them crying for help, wailing in pain. It was horrifying, and there were so many of them. And yet, there was something strange about it. It was not quite like Abby or Mable’s magics.”

“Do you think that this Restricted Sanctum is where they’re keeping the bound demons from Ilo’s experiments?” Iris asked.

“It certainly seems possible,” Honey crossed her arms. “And if that’s where Elesa is being held, then we can likely conclude that that’s where they have been sealing her. Perhaps they view sealing her like on of their ‘purifications,’ or something,” she grimaced.

“Are you sure?” Lillia asked. “Penelope mentioned another place they conducted sealing spells. She said the Restricted Sanctum was for powerful artifacts to be sealed.”

“While Elesa is not an artifact, I would expect them to conduct that spell in a much more secretive place than typical rituals,” Honey asserted.

“It certainly seems like the most obvious place,” Iris nodded. “You’d want to have as few people as possible to have access to someplace like that, especially since it sounds like the people here don’t know that mother is truly a witch.”

“Then, what next? Do we try to rescue her?” Aria asked.

“That seems unwise,” Nerivi shook her head. “The Cathedral is going to be on high alert, and they may be looking for you girls. And we still don’t know how to undo her seal yet, right?” Honey nodded in confirmation.

“Then what should we do?” Saya asked.

“For now, I would like you three to stay low and stay at the inn,” Honey looked to Saya, Aria, and Lillia. “If they are searching for you, we should keep you out of sight and out of mind until we can figure out a way to avoid suspicions. Meanwhile, Iris, Nerivi, and I will continue our investigations.”

“Yeah, that would be for the best,” Aria nodded, Lillia following suit. “That okay with you, Saya?”

“I suppose so,” Saya quietly pouted.

* * *

The next couple of days began to march on, Saya, Aria, and Lillia, quietly waiting inside their rooms as time slowly slipped by. The investigation of the others would continue on, Honey, Iris, and Nerivi returning with books and material for the three to analyze. And yet, Saya’s mind could not rest, rolling in turmoil and concern for the demons and Penelope, worrying for them all. And then there was her brother, was he truly a loyal paladin now who would slay his own family? Her heart sank with such a thought. The day became night as the group assembled to go over their new findings, Saya’s mind still lost in her thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Aria nudged her, breaking Saya from her thoughts again.

“What?” Saya looked up confusedly.

“We were discussing the Cathedral’s calendar to formulate a potential day to infiltrate them,” Nerivi explained.

“Oh,” Saya sighed.

“Listen, if you want to go rest, that’s okay,” Iris said.

“Yes, I think I may do that,” Saya nodded as she rose from her seat.

“I’ll see you later then, okay?” Aria smiled. Saya gave a soft nod and exited to the hall, taking a deep breath.

Saya looked down to the door to her room and sighed. She was unfocused, but she was not quite sleepy. Rather there was an energy pent up with in her, stirring her and urging her to stretch. “A short walk this late at night could not be that dangerous, right?” she considered. She nodded to herself and headed down towards the lobby and finally through the doors. The street was open and barren, not a soul walking down it.

Saya sighed as she wandered down the empty street, quietly walking toward a large fountain overlooking a lower part of the city. It was beautiful, sight, looking over the city from here. The city sprawled beneath her, the streets illuminated by magic lamps lining the streets, giving flashes of warm vibrant colors in the cool darkness. Had she brought her supplies and had the energy, she would have loved to paint this sight. For now, though, all she desired was the quiet peacefulness.

Her mind swirled with thoughts. This city, as bright and beautiful as it was, could not combat the thick stench of the miasma caused by the suffering of those poor demons beneath. The light that guided these people was doing so while causing such grievous harm to the innocent prisoners below. Perhaps that was why the miasma was so foul in its stench and felt so malicious when she came into contact with it. She clenched her hands in disgust and anger. What a horrible thing to do.

And then her heart began to sink. Her thoughts turned to her mother, the woman that loved her so much. The one Iris had said had hardened since before she was born. She trembled as she thought of the warm loving embrace that was stolen from her. And then her mind toiled as she considered the cruel behavior of her eldest brother, Zerv. He was so callous and cold. Had his time with the church hardened his heart too; turning him into a hateful person who betrayed Iris’s memories? She said that their brother was a sweet and caring person, yet there was no such sweet kindness nor caring heart to that gleaming blade. It did not make sense to her.

She sat with her thoughts, gazing upon the city scape as she held her frustration and sadness. She nursed her hope and cared for her heart. She did not know what the way forward was going to be, but she knew there was a way forward. She would not give up. Not so easily. Regardless of Zerv’s situation, she still needed to save her mother. Even if… She jolted as a set of footsteps approached her clad in armor. She turned to face the intruder of her quiet peace, eyes growing wide as her assailant stood before her.

“You are...,” Saya muttered as she stepped back. Her eyes darted around the vista seeking a swift exit as the man approached her. She had to get out of here. She had to…

“Sister,” the voice shook, as they removed their hood, revealing Zerv.

“Stay back,” Saya shook. Her hand trembled as she contemplated a spell. She had to get out of here. Perhaps if she used her light to…

“Don’t!” he called out before grabbing at her arm and forcing it down. “If you use your magic other guards will find out where you are!”

“Where I...” she blinked as she looked at him confusedly.

“I won’t be able to protect you should that happen,” he explained Saya’s eyes widening in disbelief.

“But you… You attacked us… Earlier, you attacked us. You did not even consider hesitating!” she yelped. “Why would you care now?”

“I’m sorry,” he looked away. “I had no control over myself back then. The priests. They have a spell to override my will, and they didn’t hesitate to use it to try and deal with you. But I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt any of you,” he whimpered. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. I… I just want this nightmare to end,” his voice sank further, his body trembling.

“Zerv, what are you...,” Saya began to ask as she looked upon him closely. Something was strange about his behavior… His movements… “Are you truly my brother?” she asked.

“That’s complicated,” he grabbed at his stomach. As she watched him, Saya began to focus upon his movements, a strange curiosity grabbing upon her. Those movements, they seemed… rehearsed? Trained? Deliberate? Almost like they were actions exercised to cover up some other instinct. It reminded her of herself, back when she… She looked up to him again meeting his shaking brown eyes. They were gentle, sad, and…

Saya gulped. “Sister?”

Zerv looked at her alarmed and eyes widening, arms collapsing inward as the Paladin looked on in shock. And then they relaxed, their demeanor loosening, relief releasing a weary gaze. “Y-you see me?”

“See you?”

Zerv made a deep frown. “I suppose not then. I was really hoping you could. I guess it was foolish to think… But wait… Then why did you…?”

“It is just, you seem so uncomfortable, as if you are desperate to say something, but are unable. I have felt like that before,” Saya frowned. “Back when I was younger.”

“I see,” Zerv chuckled. “It seems you’ve grown quite perceptive in my absence,” Zerv looked at Saya with an adoring smile. “Sister. Would it be okay if we talked?” Saya nodded as they both moved to the banister overlooking the town below.

“Please, what is the meaning of all of this? What is happening to you?” Saya asked.

“It is as you said before,” Zerv looked into Saya’s eyes with hopeful glistening eyes. “I’m your sister,” she gave a light smile. “I’m a girl, a woman, like you. But I’m unable to be true to that,” her smile dropped as her gaze dropped to the street below. “I am forced into this form and profession by father and the church, and I am forced to be a man in the process,” she sighed looking to Saya. “Tell me sister, should I presume you know the truth of our family, what we truly are?”

“That we are descendants of witches? I do know that, and I have already awakened to our power, as you have seen.”

“I have to admit, I’m rather jealous,” Zerv looked out over the city with a pining look. “I want to be free, like you. I want to leave this place, and be the person I know I should be, like you. But I never had the chance.”

“Did father seal you like he did Iris and Xenia?” Zerv looked at her uncertainly. “Oh, apologies. Iris is our second eldest,” she hesitated to speak the words on her lips, but was urged by her sister’s evident confusion. “…formerly William.”

“So, she’s awakened as well?” she gave a thankful smile. “That’s good to hear. I can only imagine how difficult her life must have been following my difficulties,” Zerv frowned.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“I don’t know the details of your situation, but I assume your awakening was much more recent. But for me that was not the case. My witch’s blood began to awaken when I was still rather young,” she looked out into the distance.

“You awakened when you were young? Then why do you…?” Saya looked at her concernedly.

“At first father didn’t know,” Zerv began to explain. “I don’t know if he knew about how witches awoke to their magic, nor how our bodies changed to fit our souls, but Mother was rather panicked by my early awakening and we tried to hide it. She desperately hoped to have me awaken and escape his clutches. But that didn’t last long. I messed up, and he noticed my magic. He then quickly realized I was becoming my true self,” she gripped herself, clearly pained. “He brought me here, and they attempted to seal my powers and transformation. At first it seemed to work, but the seal quickly diminished. They tried several more times, until they came to the realization that it was due to my proximity to mother.”

“Mother,” Saya whimpered. “Was she forced to seal you in their stead?” she looked up to Zerv worriedly.

“No,” Zerv shook her head, her dark hair loosely bouncing about. “Mother was not as she is now. She was still forced to obey father but was she still able to resist him in many ways. She would only listen to him begrudgingly, always throwing him glares. That is until he brought us here seventeen years ago. The priests used powerful holy magic to seal both of us. Mother became quieter and more subservient to father, and I was trapped like this. Unfortunately, they didn’t trust it to fully work, and they’ve kept me here ever since in an effort to stop me from ever awakening. They still cast regular rituals to embolden these accursed shackles,” she held herself.

“Sister,” Saya looked upon her sadly.

“I’m so scared,” Zerv shook. “I’m afraid I’m close to losing myself completely now. With each ritual I feel like I’m losing more of myself. It’s like everything about myself is becoming a dull and numb void. Things that brought me joy and passion have withered into nothingness. I’m afraid that I might not have long before that nothingness claims the rest of me, and I become their puppet, forgetting myself entirely,” Saya looked upon her frightfully. “If this seal isn’t broken soon. If I’m trapped like this forever...”

“I will not allow that to happen,” Saya gripped her sister’s large hand. “I will find a way to free you,” she looked up, trying to give a tough look through her tear-stained cheeks. “I will not abandon you. I will find a way to save you.”

“I appreciate that sister,” Zerv smiled. Her expression then dropped. “But should it come to it. And should I be on the verge of losing myself, or having been lost already,” her voice shook. “Should it come to that. Please. I beg of you. Kill me.”

“But I cannot…,” Saya looked at her sorrowfully, tears rolling down their cheeks. “I could never kill my own sister.”

“Please sister. Please. Don’t let me suffer like that. I beg of you. Please promise me that should it come to that, that you’ll kill me,” she whimpered. “And remember me. Not Zerv, but the real me. Please remember Elise.”

Saya hugged her sister. She hugged Elise. “I will not lose you. I promise.”

“Please sister. Please promise me.”

“I... I will do everything I can to save you. But I promise,” Saya cried. “I promise, Elise.”

“Thank you, sister. Thank you. I am glad that at least someone can remember me,” Elise hugged Saya close, a gentle smile forming upon her lips.

“I will not give up though,” Saya looked up to her. “I will try to the bitter end to save you,” she wept.

Elise looked at her dotingly. Although the face that looked upon her was rugged and tough, with a certain shadow and a masculine edge, she could see the soft eyes of her sister. She could see beyond the weary façade and the traitorous visage to see the loving kindness of a thankful girl. Saya cried into her chest as the night wore on, a firm gloved hand petting her adoringly.

“Sister,” Elise whispered. “Thank you. Thank you for being with me, but I think it’s time I go back now.”

“Elise,” Saya looked up pleadingly, but her sister’s face told all it needed to. She had to go back. There was no choice in the manner, so she had to concede. However… “’Before you leave,” she looked into Elise’s confused eyes. “I want you to know my name. My true name. I am Saya. Saya Affinia Floroma,” she smiled.

Elise took a deep breath and frowned, Saya’s eyes opening in shock, covering her gasping mouth. There was something wrong. Something horribly wrong. A witch’s name held great strength, and when said with certain strength, it would resonate with others. Since her confrontation with Iris, and freeing her from the wicked hex upon her, she had learned her own name had such power. She did not mean to call it now, but she did. Or she should have.

Saya looked at Elise in horror. “You’re starting to understand, aren’t you?” Elise said sorrowfully. “Our witch’s blood, it should respond to our names like that. And yet,” she grabbed at her chest. “It does nothing to me now. Those bastards,” she cringed. “They did this to me, sealed it so deep within me that it can’t respond,” Elise frowned. “I’m sorry to get your hopes up sister,” she stood up.

“Elise wait,” Saya reached for her.

“I’m sorry,” Elise said before departing. Saya continued to reach for her, but knew she could not pursue.

“Elise,” Saya whimpered. “You must feel so alone,” she frowned. “Doing this…” she sniffled. She wiped away her tears and began on her way back. She could stay in this sad place no longer.

The walk back was short yet felt dreadfully long as paranoia and sadness both grabbed at her, pulling her downward. Yet she persevered, finally returning to the inn and returning to her room. As she entered she found the others huddled around in a tizzy, all looking at her.

“Saya!” Aria rushed to her side. “Where have you been!?” she snapped. “We were all so worried.”

“I…” she whimpered. “I…” she began to sob. And then she began to cry, ceaseless tears raining down her cheeks. The others only looking between themselves in confusion and concern.

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