[2475 words]
This chapter is written, Proof read and edited by me, Your only god and savior
{Lustful_Death}
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❞𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕒𝕚𝕣, 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕒𝕚𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕒𝕕𝕧𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕖.❞
'.....Ugh, Finally.', I thought as I watched the light from Eva's eyes fade away.
This is around the 3000th time I'm rewatching my memories. I was back to normal by around the 26th loop but I decided to keep going anyway, Watching my memories again and again made me realize just how vulnerable to her I am and how many unnecessary and illogical things I've done.
When I killed and ate her I thought that that was it, That I had managed to do it. By killing the love of my life and the person whom I thought I wouldn't be able to live without I believed that I had cemented my dedication to my goal to persue power without stop for the rest of my life in stone.
After all, If I managed to kill the one who gave my life any meaning for an arbitrary goal that I decided on for a whim then I would be able to do anything. I thought I had become unchained, Unbound by anything.
But that wasn't true, I missed her all the time, I sometimes regretted what I did and wondered what could have been had I chosen her, How happy could I have been.
After I absorbed Maxine and started feeling empathy such feelings became even more intense and regular. Sometimes I spent months feeling depression and heart tearing regret over what I did.
I can't have that anymore, Regrets are unnecessary, Longing is unnecessary and 'what ifs' are unnecessary.
What I need to do is look at things objectively, See what I need and what I don't need anymore and trim out the fat.
But in order to be able to look at things objectively I needed to first remove all prejudices and feelings I may have accumulated over my experiences. I needed to get the pink glasses off.
Even the funniest joke in the world stops being funny if you hear it enough times, So that was my strategy, Watch my entire life as many times as necessary until I stop feeling anything towards my one weakness; Eva.
I watched all our moments together from our first meeting to the last bite I ate of her. With each loop it hurt less and less.
And through more than a thousand loops I went from almost completely losing my sanity at killing her to boredom at how long it took for her to die.
'Hmmm, I think this should be the last one, Looks like it's finally time to wake up, Though I still haven't managed to find out who that lady is', I thought as the blurry image of a black haired tall woman appeared in my mind.
She was quite the mystery, I first saw her in one of the memories of one of my dreams, The first time I watched the dream I only had a vague sense that someone was with me in the dream but nothing else, The entire dream was just darkness and the sense that someone was around.
I didn't pay the dream any attention until the second loop when I had the same dream but this time there was no darkness, Instead everything was white except for a bunch of black dots? Ants? That were surrounding me in a circle.
That shouldn't have happened, My memories shouldn't have changed no matter how minor they were. Unlike the brain, The memory of the soul is completely perfect, Nothing is forgotten no matter how minute the details or how fleeting the sensation.
But with each loop the dream become clearer and clearer, The presence more and more distinct, From a presence to a tall silhouette to a black robed woman.
The woman as mentioned before had a tall stature, Around two inches taller than me in my past life which says a lot considering the fact that I was 243 cm tall (7.9 feet)
She wore a completely black robe with a hood over her head that cast a shadow on her face, The robe had no decorations or embroideries. She was standing completely still, Her posture straight.
The white canvas that used to be all around us changed, An expansive grasslands blanketed our surroundings, The mountains in the distance touching the sky that was completely covered by dark grey clouds.
I loved such gloomy weather. Too bad it was ruined by the clanging of the armor and harsh footsteps of the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who were surrounding us in a large circle with us at the center.
We were standing on a small hill so I could see all of them. It was a large army of humans, Most of them wore equipped with gleaming metal armours and all sorts of weapons.
There were also some people who didn't wear armour but all sorts of robes in all sorts of colors and designs, Most of them being quite tacky with many decorations.
A small breeze blew by, Making the woman's robe sway slightly along with the grass.
As if that was a signal magic circles with all sorts of patterns, Colors and designs started appearing Infront of the soldiers as they all collectively moved their handy up towards the sky while they all chanted unknown words in sync.
Gradually countless magic circles formed up and encircled us in a giant dome of magic circles.
The magic circles then slowly started combining until they formed a golden magic circle of such a titanic size that it seemed to block out the entire sky.
The woman stayed standing completely motionless without any sort of reaction, Not even looking up at the magic circle.
I wondered about what the function of such a gigantic magic circle was while watching the magic circle slowly shine more brightly as if charging up.
Hmm maybe an array that casts immortality on someone or maybe a giant summoning ritual? It was probably intended to be an attack though.
I didn't know what the magic circle exactly did but that didn't matter, I already knew it was an attack considering what was about to happen next, A pity that I won't be able to find out though.
Just as the magic circle was about to reach full brightness the woman unhurriedly lifted up her arm pointing opened hand towards the sky. The long sleeve on her arm was pulled back due to gravity exposing a slender hand with long fingers that clearly belonged to a woman.
The woman closed her hand making a fist. With that one simple movement the giant magic circle in the sky that seemed to be ready to fire and obliterate all things in this world instantly shattered like a pane of glass making countless brilliant shards of light rain down on everyone as they shone like fireflies.
The entire army seemed to have been shocked as they all stood there completely frozen.
Their frozen state was broken however as one of the soldiers made a battle cry and charged towards the woman with his unsheathed sword in hand.
Having been woken up by the war cry of their comrade the entire army made an earth rumbling war cry as they all charged, Earth quaking under them.
The woman simply lowered her arm and pointed her hand at the army in a flicking motion.
The soldiers were getting closer and closer with each passing second, seemingly hellbent on butchering the women.
A small black dot the size of a grain of sand appeared on the tip of the woman's thumb.
She carelessly flicked it as if flicking a booger.
The army had already crossed more than half the distance towards her.
The black booger made an arc in the air as it flew gracefully and landed on the ground.
In a split second all life as far as the eye could see was exterminated.
The soldiers were gone, Leaving thousands of empty armours to tumble to the ground. The lush grassland was no more but a Barron desert, All the grass and any types of trees or any types of vegetation gone.
The entire grasslands had gone from being in thundering noise to complete silence, An absence of any noise produced by life.
There were no magic circles, No flashes of light, No bangs, No explosions nor any shockwaves, One second there was life, And the next there was just silence.
The woman just walked away, The only source of sound, The only source of life.
A strong gust of wind blew, Throwing back her hood and revealing her head. Long black hair, yellow pale skin, Small mouth, Beautiful face, Passive expression and cold, Deep, Bottomless black eyes that looked like pools.
The woman continued walking away unperturbed by the sand that blew on her.
That's where the dream ends.
'Really weird, Some sort of error in my soul? Maybe a past life's memory fragment? I'll have to find out later, I got a lot of things to do', I thought, Terminating the memory loop.
The current scene Infront of my past self shattered and was replaced by darkness, I was underground so it was expected.
I was just a soul as I hadn't reformed my body yet, Don't want to get stuck underground, Or cause a nuclear explosion by popping inside matter.
I floated up to the surface way faster than I should have been able to.
My soul has gotten much stronger, Now I have around one fifth the amount of MA energy the tree has.
The outer area of my soul is now dark blue in color while the inner is completely black and seems to have somehow gotten bigger, My sensitivity has also increased and I can also think way faster.
The change in color from grey to black and the over all ability increase seems to be a result of having basically lived for 1.2 million years. The change in the color of the outer soul is probably due to becoming the spirit of the ocean, I felt a familiar connection with the oceans of this world and a connection with the moon, With Tui. She can probably feel it as well. Well it doesn't matter.
My brain feels so scrambled but so cold and numb to everything, I wouldn't mind if I lived or died or if I lost everything or gained everything, Both would be equally.....meh.
i visualized myself and with a plop, I popped back into existence.
I'm a spirit now, My body feels different but familiar. I look the same as usual, But I was naked so I imagined myself with my usual clothes and just like that I became clothed. I'll have to get used to being a spirit, I won't be able to transform into anything else until I use my ability on someone else. All my other forms are now gone forever.
Well time to get my phone back.....and GLaDOS as well.
I floated into the crater and found where the hole was pretty easily, Opened it and and extended my arm all the way down and grabbed my stuff, Or what's left of it at least.
Everything was basically in small pieces sitting in a pile of dirt.
'GLaDOS death count: 1'
I first put up a barrier that would stop people from peeping that I learned how to make from La's memories, Once the barrier was up I started reversing time on the pieces.
i reversed the time of the pieces and watched as my scythe, GLaDOS, My phone and Marry reformed.
"Whoa.....Whoa.....Whoa, That was very disorienting, If I had a stomach this hole would be absolutely 𝘯𝘰𝘵 filled. Oh Did you seriously think I would say that it would be filled? If so then you might need to check your brain because it might have a hole the size of the one we are standing in. Why are we in a hole anyway?", GLaDOS said in her usual tone. I somewhat missed hearing something that's original from her, From anyone.
"Explosion", I said my voice came out much more cold and robotic than usual and grabbed my phone and put it in my pocket.
"Explosion huh, Yep that answers all the important questions doesn't it? Like what caused the explosion? Why we are in the crater left behind by the explosion?, Yep just one word: explosion, Says it all really, Why did the universe start? How did the universe start? Why did all the people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki die?. Your brilliance and intelligence is truly beyond my comprehension oh 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 creator.", GLaDOS drawled out.
I let her ramble on and just stared unblinkingly at her, It wasn't necessary anymore.
"I blew myself up to destroy the barrier, And get Shēnghuó off my back", I said as I bent over and retrieved my scythe that was on the ground.
"Hmm? No, That can't be right. I would have definitely felt an explosion strong enough to make a crater like this....Unless it killed me before I could detect it.", She hypothesized and looked me straight in the eye for a split second before immediately breaking off eye contact. Unusual.
".....Right, I'll just add that to my file: Got murdered by creator. Note: It was a inevitable".
"So what happened to the tree? Did you murder it as well? You're really good at that, Very impressive skill-set by the way.".
"No, Only crippled her for a month at most.", I said.
"Hmm, Right. I'll note that on your personal file. I'll just put it here on the 'Justified cruel acts' section, Tons of space here. Right, Crippled the spiritual embodiment of life itself. Would have fit nice under The genocide of 10 billion humans in the unjustified acts of cruelty section. Well you can't have everything, Right? Well there's not much space left there anyway, I sometimes like to skim through the list for fun. Here I'll read you a few: Sparking off and feeding the hatred between androids and humans, Enslaving all holders of seats of power in a technologically advanced society, Causing the worst mass extinction event to hit that planet as celebration for a gender reveal party. Mass genocide (children included), Mass corruption (children included), Mass cannibalism (children included), Mass slavery (children included), Complete destruction of the Amazon rainforest, Destruction of an advanced society, And the detailed list goes on for more than 7000 pages.", GLaDOS said while flipping through an imaginary notepad.
She was trying to get some sort of response out of me but I already knew that I did things for no reason sometimes other than my personal enjoyment, Still somewhat on the fence on wether I should get rid of that.
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By the way I'm back!
