Think Zhang Wei, think!

You've read way too many trashy xianxia novels to fall to a guy whose lifespan is at most one chapter!

Hmmm, one-dimensional antagonists.

They are simple-minded, and don't think much further than ' I don't like the look of this guy, let's kill him'.

They have self-esteem higher than the heavens, and anything that isn't praise towards their greatness is merely courting death.

Wait!

...Self-esteem?

...Self-esteem!!!

After reaching an epiphany, Zhang Wei snapped out of his daze only to realise that the semi-baldy was already locked and loaded, ready to chop him in half! 

A chilly, daunting feeling of death drenched Zhang Wei.

This was it.

He might really die!

Panic came in at full throttle, and the string of words he wanted to say to try and save himself was caught up in his throat.

Seeing that his prey was paralyzed, the sinister smirk on the fully-grown man's face widened, and he kicked himself forward towards Zhang Wei with the intent to kill.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Seeing the fiend approach him at an inhumane speed, Zhang Wei's mind fell into chaos and he did the only thing he could think of.

*THUD*

"ESTEEMED SIR, BEFORE YOU KILL ME, I BEG YOU GRANT ME SOME LAST WORDS!"

...Zhang Wei dropped to his knees and kowtowed.

*Silence*

After a few moments, Zhang Wei finally clocked that the flurry of approaching footsteps had come to a stop.

Feeling his heart still rapidly thumping in his chest, he knew he was alive.

The old man's voice then rang out a few steps away saying,

"I, Liu Gu, am not some bloodthirsty barbarian.

"As such, I will give you, my opponent, some respect and let you express your final woes.

"Call it some mercy to a weakling who knows their place."

Regaining a bit of clarity from the hope brought by this improved situation, Zhang Wei decisively made another bizarre move.

*THUMP*

He brought his head up and instantly smashed it right back down onto the solid stage floor so hard that Zhang Wei thought his skull had split!

Though regardless of the pain, Zhang Wei toughed it out and spoke up with the utmost respect,

"Thank you sir for your great benevolence!

"Thanks to you I will be able to drink Meng Po's Soup with peace of mind!"

Hearing such appreciation and praise in Zhang Wei's voice, Liu Gu snorted and said with a hint of satisfaction,

"Hmph kid, it's only natural that a senior, as great as I, sends off his juniors with peace of mind!

"Now hurry up and say what you want before I send you to the afterlife!"

Hearing Liu Gu once again affirm that he would let him speak, Zhang Wei couldn't help but tremble from excitement!

Why?

Because even though Zhang Wei never prided himself on his strength or wits, the one thing he was most confident in was spouting grade-A bullshit!

"Oh great heaven's above, I thank thee for giving me the honour of returning to the earth by the hands of a virtuous paragon such as Venerate Liu!

"Oh, dearest mother.

"Although this insignificant son of yours had promised you, before you forsook your mortal coil, that I'd one day become a man whose name would spread from East to West... I have regretfully not been able to accomplish it.

"But I feel neither ashamed nor saddened, as I know that you'll surely forgive me for breaking my promise!

"After all, I have attained great merit to our family name by dying to someone like Grand Venerable Liu, who will carry on my dying wishes and ascend to heights no mere mortal can imagine!"

*THUD*

After finishing another sentence, Zhang Wei once more bashed his head onto the solid floor.

This time, as he lifted his head a crimson stain was left behind on the floor.

...

Liu Gu, watching this insanity unfold in front of him, couldn't help but raise an eyebrow from confusion.

Usually, his opponents would beg for mercy or go for a desperate last move, and he expected this boy to do the same thing.

But he hadn't.

Instead, the boy began rambling and bashing his head on the floor.

It was bizarre to Liu Gu.

But more than that... It was fun.

Very fun. 

For some reason or another, Liu Gu had always found the greatest satisfaction in terrorising people, making them suffer, and then ending their pathetic lives.

That's why he'd garnered an exceptionally bad reputation, as he would avoid instantly finishing things, and instead take his time instilling complete despair into them before doing the deed.

And the whole 'begging for your life' shenanigans had gotten boring to him, so seeing that a new, interesting reaction had finally appeared, Liu Gu was overjoyed!

The dopamine rush intoxicated him, and he decided to let this funny new insect entertain him for a bit.

After all, it's not like he could escape his grasps anyways.

Whoever he had decided to be dead, was to die.

No exceptions.

...

"...Oh great-great-grandmother! What beautiful and wonderful stories you used to tell me back in the good old days, about immortal kings and grand sovereigns!

"I'm sure you'd be eternally proud of me if I told you I had the honour to die to one!

"Oh, I'd also like to take this chance to confess that I was the one who broke your favourite violet flower vase, and not some spiritually aware rodent!"

Fuck!

My throat is dry as shit, and I'm running out of things to say!

Not only that, I've bashed my head off the ground so many times that I'm starting to suspect I'll soon breakthrough into the legendary realm of brain degradation!

When the fuck is our resident main character going to stop fiddling his thumbs and save me goddammit!

"Oh, mightiest ancestor, I hope you-"

"That's enough boy."

Liu Gu interrupted Zhang Wei, forcing him to choke back the next nonsensical sentence he was going to spit out.

"You've done a good job of entertaining me, and have earned yourself a few more minutes in life.

"But it all ends here.

"I've grown bored of your incessant rambling, and it's clear you can't continue either.

"So now, die for me."

After hearing Liu Gu, Zhang Wei, who was on his knees, forced his aching head upwards to have a last look at his tormentor..

What entered his hazy vision, was Liu Gu slowly lifting the executioner's blade in his hands, with a pleased smile plastered on his face- As if he had just sat through an enjoyable movie.

Zhang Wie knew it was over.

He couldn't do anything else.

Dodge?

His whole body felt as heavy as a sack of bricks and, even if we ignored that, just the dizziness from all the head-banging made him so disorientated he barely knew the difference between left and right.

Talk?

What more could he say to a mass murderer who was hell-bent on ending his poor life?

All that he could do now, was wait for his imminent death to arrive.

So with that in mind, he let his drooping eyelids close and was about to allow nature to take its course.

"Every old dog on stage stop fighting at once, otherwise I'll destroy your only chance of advancement in this lifetime!"

...Until a loud and penetrating shout resounded throughout the training area.

Trailing the source of the sound back to its origin, one could see that it had come from a young man who stood on one of the empty stages.

It was none other than the local protagonist, Lin Fan!

As he stood on the stage, with a posture as straight as a sword, he was holding a tiny but shiny round object above his head, clearly wanting to show everyone what it was.

"High-grade Spiritual Compression Pill!!!!

"It's mine!"

The first person in the entire place to speak up was the corrupt manager of the servant quarters, Steward Qin!

As he unwittingly exposed the identity of the object in Lin Fan's hands, Steward Qin spontaneously withdrew a sword from under his seat and then abandoned his seating area to make haste towards Lin Fan while shouting with intense desire,

"Lin Fan, I'm willing to forgive your past wrongdoings as well as ask Young Master Wang to spare you, as long as you hand me that pill this instant!"

After hearing Steward Qin's words, everyone began clamouring.

A Spirit Compression pill was a great pill that could allow someone who was in either the Foundation Establishment Realm or Foundation Consolidating Realm, to instantly break through at least one minor stage no matter what!

In some cases, if the individual had gathered a good amount of Qi within their dantian prior to taking the pill or the pill was of good quality, that person could even break through multiple minor realms at once!

So you could imagine, how the old and untalented servants, who had been long stuck in one realm, felt when this godsend of an opportunity descended upon them!

Naturally, the next to speak up and start rushing towards Lin Fan was the top dog of the Servant Quarters, Liu Gu!

"Lin Fan, a pill of such quality is not fit to be in your hands!

"If you hand me that pill and kowtow to me, then I can consider leaving your body intact!"

Obviously, Liu Gu had long forgotten about someone as insignificant as Zhang Wei in the face of such a treasure.

As Zhang Wei looked up and saw Liu Gu's back stray further away from himself, a relieved smile appeared on his face as he thought,

Phew, thank god the baldy old fart forgot about poor old me and that I get to live another day!

I...hope the others are all good as well.

I mean, they all had relatively mellow-tempered opponents compared to me, so at worst they would just have had to give up.

Speaking of opponents, I'm pretty sure Lin Fan will be able to solo these swarms of chumps!

...

[Ding! Situational Plot Providence within close proximity has been identified by {Providence Analysis}.]

[Cause of activation found to be a protagonist]

...

<This Ain't Maths, Numbers Don't Matter! (Situational Type)>

Description: Provides the individual with a significant boost in all aspects. The boost gained is proportional to the number of enemies the individual has to face. The boost will count the enemies that have joined in later than the initial wave.

Limitation(s) include:

-Since this is a situational type, the effects of this providence will wear off after the determined 'scenario' is over.

-If the individual has a companion or teammate of any sort assisting him, this providence will not activate.

-If the individual is against a single person then, even if the providence is activated, there will be no boost in stats.

 ...

Never mind, Lin Fan most definitely stomps.

No ifs, hows, whens or buts!

Hehehe, now all that's left for me is to get as comfy as possible on this, quite frankly, uncomfortable stage floor, and enjoy watching that arrogant old guy get a taste of his own medicine!

...Hold up?

...Eyes?!

Please don't shut on me like this!

Noooooooo!

I don't want to go to sleep yet, it's only some blood loss!

After a meaningless struggle of trying to force his eyelids upward, Zhang Wei faded into the realm of unconsciousness.

...

"...Reckon he's going to wake up as a cabbage?"

"You trying to say he wasn't a cabbage before?"

"Shut up Tan Lin, I'm being serious here!

"Anecdotedtly, that guy smacked his head on the ground like fifteen times.

"And they weren't light hits either!

"Just thinking about it makes me shiver!"

"Ok ok, I will admit he had it rough.

"But what about my tastebuds after having to lick that stinky old man's shoe clean in exchange for some extra time?!

"Can't we have a moment of silence for them!?"

In a spacious wooden room that had multiple beds lined up within, a group of four boys, dressed in loose white robes, could be seen huddling around one bed.

Of the group of boys, a boy with black hair and emerald-coloured eyes, Jin Feng, was arguing with a boy who had blonde hair and blue eyes, Tan Lin.

They both went back and forth, both sides having no intention to stop.

Behind them, was Zi Hua, who was just watching the show while occasionally glancing at the boy laying on the bed from time to time with pity.

Finally, Tang Fen, who had a relatively big build with red hair and green eyes, was right at the back fully focusing on wolfing down the chicken drumstick he had in his hand. 

Because of all the ruckus, the eyes of the boy laying on the bed inevitably began to flicker open.

Zi Hua, being the most attentive one, instantly shouted while pointing at the bed,

"He's up! He's up!"

Instantly, all arguments came to a halt and even Tang Fen stopped eating his food to look over.

They all watched with anticipation as if children were in a zoo.

As Zhang Wei woke up and regained his bearings, he saw all his friends looking at him with excitement.

Seeing them all, Zhang Wei let out a sigh and shook his head whilst saying ruefully,

"Shit.

"All that pain and suffering just for me to end up in hell anyways?

"Heavens are truly unjust."

...

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Author's note:

Thanks for reading the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it.

Any suggestions or feedback is greatly appreciated, as I would like to improve in order to produce higher quality chapters and make the story more enjoyable for you, the readers.

Also, apologies for the lack of consistent updates.