After having made their mind on how to proceed further, the three of them took a good rest under a big tree. It was about 6m tall and 2m wide with a lush crown of leaves showing that spring had come. Several flowers were almost beginning to bloom on it, but it was still to early. What was not to early for was the conversation Max had dreaded for some time.After awkwardly glancing at Max for more than twenty minutes, Gus finally gathered his courage.
"Hmmm...so, Max was it? I was curious to ask, how did you defeated that four hands guy? When I opened my eyes again I was sure I had died and had gone to the vast 'Hunterlands', but I wasn't, and you weren't dead either. "
"Indeed, I am also intrigued" chimed in the dwarf as he played with his beard.
This put Max in a tough spot as he didn't really know how to answer, but that would make it even more suspicious. How could they believe something he even struggled to believe himself, so he chose the mysterious path.
"It's a secret." smilingly said Max as he looked at the two of them " I'm sure that even you have something you hold secret, so....
Gus and the dwarf looked at each other with the corner of their eyes and smiled, the dwarf somewhat more cheerful.
"Indeed, a secret is a secret, but it still doesn't quench my curiosity. That man....no, that thing that the three of us fought was not normal. Besides it's pair of extra arms that had a terrible amount of durability, it's high stamina, the ability to render one of us unconscious without none of us knowing or seeing a single thing is scary."
"Hmph, only tricks. If he had fought properly, I would have bitten his head of." angrily said Gus as he gnashed his teeth. " He was but a coward."
"A coward?" questioned Max out loud , attracting the attention of the other two " That may be the truth, but he looked to me more like a nightmare. Seeing the two of you suddenly falling to the ground like wooden logs really made for a terrifying sight, a sight I do not with to witness ever again.
But at least we survived, hahahahahaha......"
"......
".......
Gus and the dwarf looked at Max , the young boy in front of them with curiosity. He seemed so mysterious, not from a farming household, but also not from a noble or influential one. He also didn't seem like a slave although he was placed with them. He seemed to be secretive one one hand, but on the other hand seemed playful and open. Neither of them could figure him out, and neither of them tried to much as they were tired and thirsty.
..........
After many hours the sun finally set and the three of them were on their way. They reached a unpaved dirt road which was three meters wide and immediately begun to walk along it, but Max immediately noticed a problem even though the moon was high on the sky.
'Shit, it's to dark, my eyesight is completely hindered. ' lamented Max as he squinted his eyes until they hurt, but noticed that his two companion's didn't mind at all. Gus looked like he was taking a stroll, while the dwarf seemed more cautious of his surroundings. During the way none of them uttered one word to each other besides some low grunting , and everything went well until a ruckus to the front of the road caught their attention.
*Krrrrrrrr.....
*Neighhhhh....
The sound of galloping horses and rattling immediately filled the night making the three of them immediately flee to the side without even a single word. They hid behind some trees as they clutched their shovels and axe, but what came on the road shocked them.
*Neighhhh....
A burning carriage drawn by two horses was seen barreling down the dark road, and two men riding horses were right behind it, yelling. The horse carriage passed their position in about five seconds making them see someone frantically holding the stirrups, but not well enough as the carriages wheel seemed to have fallen on a slight hole, making the axel break, and the carriage fall over.This immediately made the two following horses speed up as the men riding them shouted something to each other, and surrounded the carriage.
They circled the downed carriage for some time as they didn't dismount, and one more galloping horse came through the road, stopping by the carriage. The three escapes squinted their eyes to see who was the last person, and they discovered that it was a masked man. From his face Gus noticed it was a man in his thirties, and then he had a scar on his left cheek, was wearing some proper armor, and had a sword on his hip.
"So, what are we going to do?" muttered Max in a low voice making the other two look at each other and smiles. This caused Max to raise an eyebrow." So, what...
"We will of course steal their horses, and then make a run for it. "
"Simple....." said Gus with a toothy grin to Max's dismay.
It's a nice story, but some things need work.
The setting is very classic, but with enough original points to stand out and grab the reader's attention. Like how Max reacted to his summoning, or how he immediately went on the bad side of both good guys and bad guys (even if called any of them that is a still a stretch. We don't know enough).
It was organic, a natural deveopment of a normal behavor in his circumstances. Very well done, most novels make it feel forced and/or convoluted one way or another.
The grammar needs some work too. It is mostly good, but at times typos break the flow and hinder comprehension. Luckily it is not often enough to spoil the story.
The thing that give me the most trouble is some of Max's reactions. Like, why doesn't he try to talk when he first met others? It would make it clear he doesn't know the language at least, and may help them identify where he is from. (doubtful, but he wouldn't know that, and it wouldn't cost anything to try). And now that he speaks the language, why doesn't he try to explain where he is from or to ask questions about common knowledge? And here, what does he mean "more suspicious if he says he doesn't know how he beat the guy"? What would they suspect him of? Why would it matter, since they have to work together anyways?They already showed they saw him a possible way to solve things they can't.
Next is something I don't know what to think about: Mirelle. From she way she was introduced, I thought she would maybe become relevant to the story later. The very next chapter we had her name, a few personality traits and part of her background, some of which could easily be related to Max (the demon part), so it was certain. So, why was she not mentioned since? Especially during the attack? Without going as far as having a section with her POV, a glimpse of a silver streak in the camp as they ran, or a supernatural shout of her voice, or even a mention of her in a passing thought would be enough ("The mage tower has fallen? Well, let's hope that girl is as badass as the guards said."). But she seems completely forgotten even by the author. So, is she a secondary character or not? It is dissonnant not to know.
My favourite point and one of the reasons I started reading is the randomness of Max's enchantments, but it doesn't seem that random anymore. Like, it can be useless, but it is never negative, and it seems Max can at least orient the effect he wants (as hinted with the berries). That kind of skill/character development is not a bad thing in general, but when the randomness is in the title of the novel you can't negate it that early and easily. It is not too late to 'fix' that, but be careful.
All in all, I am curious to see where this story develops.