[Karon point of view]

Early in the morning, before Rean going to his usual adventure's briefing, I stop him in his track, to talk to him regarding the uncertainty within me

"Rean, can I have a moment please?" [Karon]

"By all mean. Actually, I also would like to talk with you" [Rean]

"Really?" [Karon]

"Yes. Lately, you feel off. I say that, but I only just notice it this morning. I don't know what or why, but is there something that has been bothering you lately?" [Rean]

I see. I'm glad that he actually noticed it, albeit I am also a bit disappointed since he noticed it quite late. 

"Umm... When you awaken the blessing for the first time, did you feel, any uncertainty?" [Karon]

"Uncertainty? A lot of it" [Rean]

"Really!? Someone who's calm and composed like you feel that way!" [Karon]

"I might appear calm on the surface, no, I have to appear calm in front of all of you, since I'm your elder brother. But it's true, me, Brother Ash, and even Princess Diana feel many worries and uncertainty. Maybe along the way, we just learn to hide it from all of you" [Rean]

That's rather unexpected. I always got the impression that he's calm, mature and someone that could think something through rather easily. In a way, much like Brother Ash, he's dependable but also quite opposite from Brother Ash usual brash personality

"Then, how do you deal with it?" [Karon]

"Just like what you do now. Seeking advice from other. I got it from Brother Ash, Princess Diana, and even Mrs Gizzere" [Rean]

"I see. Well, there's some feeling that is rather hard to explain, but it has been bugging me" [Karon]

"Take your time and explain it step by step" [Rean]

"Well. Lately, I have this feeling, each time I was in battle, there was a part of me that wanted to kill someone that hurt us... I have always thought that it was due to my father, but, could it be, it was all me? The more I think of it, the more I think thought something is wrong with me, that I, ughh, this is frustrating, I don't ..." [Karon]

"I see... Well, how about we spar for a bit. Just the two of us" [Rean]

"Huh? Why is that?" [Karon]

"Master Jacks had taught me an art to read through an opponent mind and feeling. Think of is as a way for one to dig through his opponent mental status through clash of steel. He says that often time, word that are hard to describe, or rather a hidden emotions will often spur out during stress situation. Be it battle, or sport, exams or any stress related matter. That's why, I think it's better for us to spar for a bit" [Rean]

I see. If that help me sort out my feeling, I will gladly accept it, but

"What if, I accidentally kill you?" [Karon]

(Ooh, I can suddenly feel a bit of blood lust... But, it's rather...) "Do you really think you can beat me, Karon" [Rean]

"!" [Karon]

He uses Brother Ash favourite phrase. 

"Very well, but don't complain if you got hurt really bad!" [Karon]

"Challenge accepted" [Rean]

As the two of us go to the training hall, I can see that Rean is rather calm. I'm sure part of my negative emotions leak out just now, and yet he is still...

"Here we are. Draw your weapon" [Rean]

"I warn you. You might get hurt" [Karon]

"A small price to pay, to better understand you" [Rean]

Somehow, I feel irritated...

~Dash~

"!" [Rean]

Taking my hammer from the item bag, I quickly launch a dash attack. Rean was a bit surprise, but he reflected the attack rather well, so much so that I trip because he is using my own momentum to push me

(Kill someone that hurt you) [Serial killer dwarf]

(Rean is... Rean is my family!) [Karon]

"..." [Rean]

"Exploding earth needle!" [Karon]

The sudden spell outburst is nothing for him, as he simply dodge it sideway before counteract with his own darkness spear. It wasn't at his full strength, maybe because he took pity on me

"How about this!" [Karon]

~Throw hammer~

As expected, Rean dodges it easily, and he is coming to attack me, but

"Do you think I'm a fool!" [Karon]

Using my earth magic, I pull the hammer through my magnetic magic, and the hammer, Rean and myself are in one alignment. The hammer will surely hit Rean's spine shall he not avoided it

"How naive" [Rean]

"!?" [Karon]

"Circle of fire" [Rean]

As if he was dancing, he swing his katana around, making a full 360 degree with flame following him. The flame and the rotation cause the hammer of mine to be deflected in the air, before he grab it and about to attack me with it

(This is bad!) [Karon]

~Sudden halt~

"!?" [Karon]

"I believe it was my win" [Rean]

"How irritating..." [Karon]

"Hahaha. Sorry abou..." [Rean]

~Sudden headbutt~

""Ouch!!"" [Rean, Karon]

I know that he wouldn't prepare for my sudden headbutting, but I feel like my own brain is going full numb from it. 

"Hahaha... I kinda understand now" [Rean]

"About what" [Karon]

"You're actually a nice person Karon. Don't ever doubt that about yourself" [Rean]

"What are you talking about?" [Karon]

We both get up before Rean continue to talk

"You see, your bloodlust just now, was actually like how Brother Ash was when he was confronting Motra" [Rean]

"!?" [Karon]

"Well, in Brother Ash case, it's from his own desire, and in your cases, there's another person driving it, am I correct?" [Rean]

~Nod~ "It was my father..." [Karon]

"I see... Well, in any case, your father was nothing more than a passenger in your mind, behind every action of your" [Rean]

"Meaning?" [Karon]

"Think of it like driving a bus golem around. You're the driver for your own mind, and everyone else is a passenger. Some passenger, let say Brother As... Princess Diana will always bring positive influence to the driver. Encouraging the driver and putting the driver mind in a state of ease" [Rean]

(He wanted to use Brother Ash as an example of a person with positive attitude isn't he...) [Karon]

"And this father of your, in each swing of your hammer, in each spell of your, he actually interfere with your true reason of fighting" [Rean]

"My true reason?" [Karon]

"Yes. You're fighting to protect those who you care, and yet I got this feeling, your father isn't someone like that, he was like Motra. Those two conflicted with each other, making you rather uncomfortable" [Rean]

I see. Master Jacks must have taught Rean so well. It feels like Rean is dissecting my brain pieces by pieces to understand what I am feeling right now. I wonder if Mrs Gizzere, who people always call someone that can read other people's mind was practicing the same art, albeit in a different manner

"So, what should I do?" [Karon]

"Well, you're the driver of your own mind, and your father is only a passenger, so you can just kick him out from your mind. At least that is what I am thinking" [Rean]

"How?" [Karon]

"That... I don't know. Maybe we can ask someone else?" [Rean]

"That's a let down..." [Karon]

"Sorry" [Rean]

"No. It's fine, and Rean... Thank you" [Karon]

"You're welcome" [Rean]

"Ohh Rean, can you please tell Princess Diana and Guild Master Ram that I would like to tell something during the briefing" [Karon]

"Huh, sure" [Rean]

The fight and talk with Rean was rather a refreshing feeling. Like something suddenly vanish from my mind, though the core problem doesn't go away just yet. I should talk with other about it, but who...

Anyway, I better tell the other that we should all go to the adventure guild this morning. I'll tell them about...