Chapter 9: Bratty Sub 101: How To Earn A Spanking

Evelyn was sitting on Elaine's bed, kicking her feet, thinking of how best to annoy her lover.

She knew she had to come up with some way to piss Elaine off but she also didn't want to risk truly making her angry. She wanted to provoke Elaine into punishing her, not to make her seriously upset. She'd already put her foot in her mouth once and didn't want to do it again. So she considered.

The first time Elaine had scolded her had been because Evelyn had basically ransacked her room, dragging out all the embarrassing stuff and putting it on display. It had also been a total pain to clean the mess back up so she didn't want to do that. Well, not all of that. But she could make a little bit of a mess, couldn't she?

There was also another thing she could do. Another thing she wanted to do. She knew it would be annoying but in this situation that made it better.

Evelyn was not a patient person. One could describe her as a spoiled brat and not be wrong. And right now the spoiled brat in her was annoyed that Elaine was drinking with that other Awakener instead of spending time with her. Texting Elaine and asking her when she would be back would be deeply annoying, like a nagging wife. But she wanted to piss Elaine off, didn't she?

If they hadn't had that talk before Evelyn wouldn't have dared to do something so annoying but they had talked about it and so Evelyn hoped that Elaine would interpret the message as Evelyn trying to piss her off, even if that was only about 60% true. The rest was Evelyn just being a brat.

**

Elaine wiped the message away, a stupid smile on her face.

“What are you smiling about?”, Jordan asked.

“One of my girls is trying to piss me off so I put her over my knee and spank her”, she said. Normally she wasn't one to kiss and tell but she was a little inebriated after about seven bottles of beer.

“Hot”, Jordan said.

“Perv”, Elaine countered.

“We had a deal”, he said. “That you'd tell me about your girls if I told you about mine.”

“We did, didn't we?”, Elaine said. “Alright, fine.”

“So, are you with all of them?”, he asked flat out.

“Just Alexis, Ophelia and Evelyn”, she said.

“Those are?”, he asked.

“Alexis is the cute blonde with the glasses, Evelyn is the redhead with the really spankable ass and Ophelia is the girl with the black hair.”

“The one who looks like she's wearing a corset under the uniform?”, he asked.

“Yeah”, Elaine said. “She's also a vampire.”

“How's that work?”, he asked. “Do you have to feed her?”

“The girls from the monitoring division keep her fed”, Elaine said. “But she still sometimes drinks my blood. It helps us raise our Bond Level.”

“Doesn't that hurt?”, he asked.

“No”, Elaine said, her cheeks turning red. “Quite the opposite.”

“Aaaalright”, he said. “Freaky blood play sex. Sure, whatever floats your boat.”

“Oh screw you, you've got a werewolf gf”, she said. “I'm sure that's weird, too.”

“She's a completely normal girl unless she turns”, he counters. “I am a little worried for when she'll go into heat though. She's already told me she'll go crazy for a whole month.”

“A whole month?”, Elaine asked. “Not sure if that's hot or worrying.”

“Definitely the latter”, he said. “So, what Soul Shard does the vampire girl have?”

“Hecate”, Elaine said. “Greek goddess of darkness, blood and magic. Her healing abilities are so strong that even Rachel is jealous. And holy fucking shit she's going to be crazy strong once she buys her Level 8 abilities.”

“You can't just tease me like that”, Jordan whined.

“Get one of your girls to get you off.”

“Screw you too”, he said. “So, what about the supermodel and the cute waitress?”

“Abigail doesn't seem interested”, Elaine said. “I really need to talk to her some time but it's hard to make time for her when I've got three girlfriends to care for.”

Jordan nodded sagely, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.

“And Cassie...”, Elaine said, “I'm pretty sure Cassie's interested and I do think he's pretty cute, but...”

“Wait a minute”, Jordan said. “He?”

“Apparently he's a boy”, she said, slightly worried that Jordan was going to have an issue with that but then she saw him raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“I always thought only guys were into that sort of thing.”

“Not just guys...”, Elaine said.

“Well, good on you”, he said. “So, what's stopping you?”

“Nothing, really”, Elaine said. “Just wondering if I should ask him out or wait until he comes to me.”

“Well, you've got three girlfriends”, Jordan said.

“So? I've already got some so he needs to come to me?”, she asked.

“No”, he said. “You're technically already taken so you need to signal your interest first.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Finally she said: “That's a good thought, actually.”

He grinned. “I know.”

She shoved him.

“For real though”, he said, suddenly sounding a lot more serious, “I've learned this the hard way. Don't make my mistakes.”

“Thanks, man”, she said and took another long swig of beer.

“So, what about the cute blonde?”, he asked.

“Alexis has a Soul Shard of Lugh”, Elaine said.

“Who?”

“Lugh.”

“Lugh Who?”

“What kind of Doctor Seuss shit are we saying right now?”, Elaine asked.

Jordan snorted.

“Lugh is the warrior king of the Irish, with a magic spear and a horse.”

“The girl can summon a horse?”, he asked.

“'Horse' is too mild a word, really”, Elaine said. “It's huge and armored and can plow through zombies like nobody's business. Only time I've ever seen the beast falter was when a unicorn bit a piece right out of it.”

“Aren't unicorns fairies?”, he asked. “How did you find one of those?”

“If only”, she said. “It was a False Unicorn. A creature of Shub-Niggurath. Fucking thing had claws and fangs and shit.”

“Shit, dude”, he said.

“So, what kinds of things have you been fighting?”

“Well, we ran into another Demi-Lich a while back”, he said.

“Fuck”, she muttered. “The last one was trouble.”

“It went pretty well this time, actually”, he said. “Anna and I have gotten pretty good at firing disintegration blasts. It only took us a dozen shots to go through the shield and Kotori's illusion magic kept its attacks from hitting us.”

“That's good”, she said. “So, any other crazy stories?”

“Just one. We found something called a Carcosan Guardian Construct. That was one hell of a fight.”

“Carcosa?”, Elaine asked. “Isn't that the city the King in Yellow is from?”

“That's right”, he said. “Thing was a giant animated monster made of bones and rocks.”

“Was it tough?”

“Thing was bigger than an elephant”, he said. “So yes. But after we killed the Demi-Lich it was only half as dangerous. If you ever fight one, let me tell you now, the fuckers can breathe Darklight if a Yellow Wraith or Demi-Lich is buffing them.”

“Fuck, dude”, she said.

“And what about you, anyway?”, he asked. “What was that giant fucking thing you fought with Jeanne?”

“That was a Shoggoth”, she said. “Those things happen when someone feeds a Dark Young a thousand souls.”

“Shit”, he said. “You know, after meeting Jeanne and Rachel I got optimistic about dying, you know, knowing Heaven is real and Hell isn't all fire and brimstone, but these fucking Outsiders eat souls, right?”

“Yeah”, she said. “That's fucked up. But the best thing we can do about it is kill as many of them as we can.”

“A-fucking-men”, he said and drained the rest of his bottle.

“You alright?”, Jordan asked as Elaine read Evelyn's message.

“Sorry, got a text”, she said, pointing to her CARD.

“Something come up?”, he asked.

“Nah, Evelyn is trying to annoy me so I'll come spank her”, she said.

“Damn girl, you sexting while we're drinking together?”, he asked.

“She's texting me”, Elaine clarified. “I'm not even texting back. As I said, she's trying to annoy me, trying to provoke me.”

“Kinky”, he muttered.

“Oh come on, you can't tell me you only have vanilla missionary sex”, she said.

He grinned. “Touche. So, now that we're all good and shit-faced, any threesomes yet?”

She rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine, whatever, I'm too drunk to be embarrassed by it. Yes, I did. Just yesterday. But that's all you'll get out of me.”

“That's fine. That blush is gonna keep me warm all winter.”

“Oh fuck you, that's the alcohol”, she said. “So, what about you?”

He grinned. “Yeah. Kotori and Ashley. And it was amazing. Made our Bond Level shoot up to 7, too.”

“Yeah”, she said. “The Professor said that raising Bond Level works platonically but intimacy sure seems to help.”

“True”, he said. “I wonder if he's planned this.”

“I have no idea”, she said. “I don't think I've ever met a guy I find this hard to read.”

“He is a weird one, isn't he?”, Jordan said. “Did you notice how Jeanne looks at him?”

“Yeah”, Elaine said. “Like he's a criminal and she's his parole officer. She actually told us a bit about him while we were in Albion.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently he's been trying to find ways to make humans stronger for a very long time but up until the Invasion Heaven and Hell used to hunt him for it”, she said.

“Why though?”

“Because they don't like humans becoming any harder to control”, she said.

“Charming”, he said. “But I guess it makes sense from their perspective.”

“It's still manipulative”, Elaine growled.

“For sure”, he said. “But I can kinda see where they're coming from. Like, discrimination is already pretty bad in this world. Imagine how much worse it'd get if more people knew magic.”

“Might be a nice equalizer, too”, she said. “Give the discriminated a way to fight back.”

“Or it might get them slaughtered even faster”, he said. “You don't think those in power wouldn't try hogging that power, do you?”

“That's fair”, she said. “The world is kinda shit, isn't it?”

“It was still way better before the Invasion”, he countered.

“Yeah”, she said. “The world was fucked, but it's still the lesser evil.”

“Listen to you, you big crybaby”, he joked. “Boohoo, the world is so terrible, I only have three girlfriends and a fourth cutie ready to join my harem, fuck my life.”

She snorted. “Fuck you, too.”

“Just saying, you need to take your victories where you can get them”, he said. “And right now we could do a hell of a lot worse than being surrounded by cute women we trust with our lives.”

“I'll drink to--”, Elaine began and then realized her bottle was empty. “Ah god damn it, it's leaking again.”

“I'll get us new ones”, Jordan said.

“That'll be my last one though”, she said. “Can't be too hammered if I'm meeting Evelyn later.”

He rolled his eyes and grabbed two new bottles, then slid her one. “Not like you can get whiskey dick.”

“Whiskey... dick?”, Elaine asked.

“It's when you're so hammered you can't get it up no matter how hard you try.”

“That's a thing?”, she asked. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, it sucks”, he said, “but it's not as if you need to worry about it. Male privilege, you know?”

She snorted, but internally she was concerned. It was definitely something she had to worry about. How embarrassing would it be if she had a naked Evelyn in front of her and couldn't get it up?

Elaine's eye twitched. If Evelyn was trying to provoke her she was doing a damn fine job of it. Not only was it annoying, but being teased with the idea of a pic of Evelyn fingering herself while reading Elaine's doujin collection and then not getting it was adding an interesting layer of frustration to her state of mind.

Thankfully she also felt her cock twitch at the thought, so a little of her concern about being able to get it up evaporated. If the thought of Evelyn playing with herself could get her hard then the real deal would definitely suffice.

“More trouble in paradise?”, Jordan asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“More provocation”, Elaine corrected. “She reeeally wants that spanking.”

“The more you tell me about it the more jealous I get that I don't get to watch”, he said.

She knew he was only half joking. He'd made a half-hearted pass at her when they'd first met and while he did find her attractive he also knew that she was mostly into girls and so he didn't press it. While Elaine admitted to being bisexual she wasn't too terribly interested in tall, masculine manly men and that was precisely what Jordan was even if he was a shy nerd. But what she said instead was:

“If she keeps this up I'm half tempted to let you watch me spank her.”

“Kinky”, Jordan commented.

“You have no idea”, she said.

“So I always wondered”, he said. “Do you, like, use a strap-on or do you prefer ordinary toys?”

“Too far, dude”, she said, but she was so drunk that she added: “Both, depending on the situation.”

“Damn”, he said. “So do you just fuck girls with a strap-on or do you make them suck it as well?”

She was tempted to tell him to shove his questions up his ass but her mind flashed back to the first time she was intimate with Evelyn.

Pin my wrists and fuck my face.

The message had been one of the hottest things she'd ever read and what had happened afterwards was still one of her favorite memories, especially because Evelyn had been so damn into it. So against her better judgment she said:

“Nothing like a gorgeous woman looking up at you with her mouth full of cock.”

“A-fucking-men”, he said and took a deep pull from the beer bottle. “Glad to hear that's universal.”

“Just because guys came up with it doesn't mean girls can't be into it”, she said. “For proof look at all the girls drooling over dudes in uniforms.”

“Fair enough”, he said. “So, is that the same for you? You were a soldier even before the shit hit the fan. Did girls go for you because of the uniform?”

“Sort of”, she said. “It's another one of those dumb stereotypes. According to popular wisdom there's only two kinds of women in the military. A girl is either the squad bicycle or she's a dyke. I was always the dyke. So yeah, women were into me but not because they liked the uniform but because they thought the uniform was proof that I was into girls.”

“Ah shit”, he said, “but hey, it worked.”

“It's a bizarre experience”, she said. “If I wear a military uniform I can go to a normal bar and pick up a girl. Usually girls who wouldn't go within a hundred feet of a lesbian bar, too.”

“Is that a good thing?”, he asked.

“Not really”, she said. “They're usually the type we talked about before, the ones who want to piss off their conservative parents.”

“I wonder though”, he said, “isn't being a straight girl's lesbian experiment kind of flattering? Like you're so hot you make her forget that you don't have a penis?”

She was about to say something incriminating but stopped herself at the last second and instead said, in a sarcastic tone of voice: “Isn't it flattering to be a white girl's interracial experiment? Like you're so hot you make her forget that you have the wrong skin color?”

He winced. “Point taken.”

“To be fair, it was kinda flattering the first few times”, she admitted, “but it wore seriously thin once I started recognizing the pattern. Doesn't help that experimental lesbians tend to be really terrible in bed, too.”

“How so?”, he asked.

“They're either pillow princesses who expect you to do all the work or, worse, they start gagging once the reality hits them that they're in bed with another woman and are expected to interact with another vagina”, she said.

He snorted.

“Ever heard that Garfunkel and Oates song, The College Try?”, she asked. “A few times I had to start humming that song because they were giving me an impromptu impression of it.”

He started cackling. “Fuck me, thanks for reminding me why I used to spend all my Saturday nights gaming and watching anime.”

“That was the life, wasn't it?”, she mused. “Ah shit, we're doing it again.”

“Yep”, he said. “Woe is us, we are attractive people who regularly have sex and have three girlfriends each, fuck our lives.”

Elaine's eye twitched again.

“She annoying you again?”, he asked and it was a testament to just how low her inhibitions were that she admitted:

“Yeah, she's about to find the ropes I'm going to tie her up with.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So fucking jealous...”

“Ask your kitsune girlfriend. Rope bondage comes from Japan, maybe she knows some.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. As he sat there gaping like a fish Elaine grabbed their empty bottles and took them away.

“You have fun tonight”, he called after her.

“Thanks”, she called back. “I will!”