Water. 

So much water. 

Its everywhere, circulating bubbles of air. 

The flames above look almost beautiful, if it wasn’t my bubbles of air. 

Dad and Mom are above me in flames, yet I'm surrounded by water, floating in the particles of wet. 

My name is Ravi Singh. 

… 

… 

... 

I had that dream again, where I’m drowning in the lake. I don’t know how I ended up inside the lake, just that the second my head falls onto my pillow, I’m in the lake. I’m a good swimmer but in those moments, I just can't seem to get the strength to move. It's so weird sometimes, because I try to control myself and move. 

But. 

 But sometimes I feel like, I want to drown. I want to disappear; I have seen too many failures in my short life. I studied the heck out of exams, and I screw up always on the one thing I studied the hardest on.  

And I can only remember that one failure! 

I hate other people, not my family, just strangers that I meet. 

I hate helping other people, I know that with such a belief I shouldn’t expect to be helped in my time of need. And honestly, good riddance! Sometimes I want to be cruel. Sometimes I don’t care about the feelings of others. 

Because they judge my failures when they realize that I'm below average and mediocre! 

And I hate myself for it. 

It's my failures that keep me awake. 

I don’t want to live if I keep failing. 

I’m told that I have superficial ideas of the world, that I can’t see the end of the tunnel. But I want to win, that’s good, right? 

My family tells me that winning is good and losing is bad. They don’t tell me that. That’s what their eyes tell me. 

And I always think about, why does this have to be true? 

When you look at the victors, you only see the grand entrance into victory. Never, the hard work or pain it took. That’s what I'm extrapolating from my situation. 

And that’s what I want, without hell. 

I have dreams of grandeur and wealth. I want to be better than anyone, I want to feel superior. Yet, I never was able to muster that feeling in my life, I keep being below average. 

Should I have low expectations? 

I hate the idea that I can only win some things and lose most things. 

Because I can only remember the failures and the humiliations.  

My name is Ravi Singh, I hate my luck. 

I'm 11 years old. 

The Beauty of this World shouldn’t be thrown away for simple tragedy and cruelty. 

That’s what my Uncle always says.